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*After defeating Gardevoir*

Ren: Alright now for the finishing blow! 

Reina: What the, you have a freaking laser cannon in your arm!

Huey: Wow that's awesome.

Ren: Ikr. I also got wings and-

MC: Now's not the time Gardevoir is getting away!

Ren: Right everyone I need your help. We all need to shout as loud as possible for the cannon to reach at maximum power.

Reina: What is this dbz?

*Everyone starts shouting*



Huey:.....nothing's happening.

Ren: That's strange, when I asked Nastasia how do i firing this thing she said all I had to do is shout.

Mc: Hey Ren isn't that an on switch right there?

Ren: Oh...crap.

Everyone: Sigh.

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Angie: I am actually Indriad possessing Anju!


MC:... You creepy pervert.


Indriad: What?




Erin: How long have you spent in that body? On second thought i don't want to know.


Indriad: What? NO, i didn't... do anything like that, i just wanted her body for...


Everyone: WE DON"T WANT TO KNOW!!!


Indriad: You damn kids, get your minds out of the gutter. It's your generation that made me want to end the world.


MC: Wasn't it an old dude and some police officers that made you snap? 




MC: Okay Boomer.


Indriad: WHAT WAS THAT!??


MC: It's a meme.




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Angie: "Plays the piano" Soon the MC and rest of the heretics will be here, my lair must be perfect at setting up my creepy fanatical Arceus worshiper personality.

Cera: Milady, we are finished correctly putting the frozen rangers for maximum intimidation. 


Angie: " Still playing piano " Excellent they will be here soon, i have just frozen the TM shop for their disrespect. I will be playing this song to add to the atmosphere.


Cera: Brilliant, milady. 


Angie: " Somehow still playing piano. " Don't patronize me.


2 hours later. 


Angie: " Playing the piano despite being tired " Any minute now. 


5 hours later.


Angie: " Playing the piano with great exhaustion. " Any minute now.


Cera: Milady, shouldn't you get some sleep? 


Angie: " insert jumpscare here " ANY MINUTE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!


7 hours later.


Angie: " Playing the piano incoherently due to lack of sleep. " WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?!!!


Cera: Milady, please let us sleep. 


Angie: SILENCE!!!!!! They will be here soon, and we must be ready!!!!!!!!! 


"Continues playing piano badly while struggling to stay awake. 





Melia: You've been there for hours, shouldn't we stop Angie? 


Venam: Yeah, what Melia said.


MC: HA! You can't continue without me and you know it.  You had your spa time, now let me enjoy my ice skating time. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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And the last one before i log out since i like making fun of Indriad.


Some time in the years before the game.


Indriad: You meddlesome protectors of Aevium have interfered with the Lord's vision for far too long, when i get a hold of you all, i will rip out your spirit myself, offer it to the lord and-"suddenly Indriad drops a magazine from his robes and it falls next to Nymieria."


Nymieria: What's this? It's... oh my... a pla-


Indriad: GIVE THAT BACK!!!!!!!! 


Anju: Oh my, and right after that truly terrifying speech. How embarrassing.


Hazuki: Is there no depths you will not sink to?


Gardevoir: Master Indriad, i had no idea you enjoyed these magazines.




Protectors of Aevium: RIGHT.


Gardevoir: I believe him.


Indriad: Damn it, look can we just get back to our climatic and exciting battle?


Nymieria: One of these articles is about how to exploit the price inflation of medicine and why EA is a good investment.



(Years later.)


Nymiera: I believe Indriad to be evil itself.


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  • 3 weeks later...

I felt the need to write this after seeing the scene again.


Madelis: Well, MC is asleep, and we have Tesla's daughter captive. Perfect.


Xen Grunt: Now let's finish off MC.


Madelis: NO! I'm in charge here, we must leave before the police arrive.


Xen Grunt: But when have the police ever done anything? Besides stop us from bringing our Pokemon to Galar?


Madelis: Exactly, Officer Jenny might actually do her job for once. 


Xen Grunt: But boss, the MC is just laying down there, i don't even think the Rangers can help either.


Madelis: Obviously, they are getting ready to save this resort.




Rorim B: "Exists" 





(Back at the resort.)


Xen Grunt: I don't know something is wrong about that sentence. Besides in the time we've been talking, i could have had my Hyno just strangle the MC in their sleep. 


Madelis: SILENCE, Don't question beauty. Besides if this goes well, we will have Melia in our grasp.


Xen Grunt: Why don't we just take Melia right now? She's asleep, right there, easy pickings.


Madelis: Uhhhhh, WE MUST DEPART!!!




Later at Xen HQ.


Madam X: "Sharpens her katana" Care to explain how you botched this plan?

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I'm pretty sure there was an actual in-game scene where Erin asks Melia that kind of question, but I can't find it. Never mind; it can't get any wronger than the "AU" I came up with:


Erin: Melia, can I ask you a question?

Melia: Sure, what's on your mind?

Erin: I wondered... if you trusted MC.

Melia: That's a strange question. Do you have a particular reason to ask it?

Erin: Just answer it naturally.


Melia: Of course I trust them! We've been through so much and they've been great and reliable companions...

Erin: Okay then.

Melia: Except for the time they shoved me down the stairs.

Erin: What?

Melia: But they didn't know it was me and I kind of deserved it anyway.

Erin: What?

Melia: And I guess there's also the time they bound and gagged me atop Valor Mountain.

Erin: ...

Melia: But they were right. I was clearly completely nuts at that time. Who knows what would have happened if they had let me do as I wanted?

Erin: Didn't you tell me that it resulted in them, two Gym Leaders and your father falling into lava, your rescue mission irrevocably compromised, and MC so scared of heights and heat that they asked Rhodea for an underground fridge instead of a room?

Melia: Sure, but it clearly would have been worse without MC. And the time we found Venam badly beaten up claiming MC had stolen her Charizard. With MC offering no explanation whatsoever.

Erin: Wasn't it the Pokemon she herself had stolen?

Melia: Yes, but how did you know?

Erin: Venam's a teenage Poison Gym Leader, a fairly recent one, and she hasn't made her own teenage rebellion subtle. No way she's got a Charizard.

Melia: But, well, most of the time, MC's great. Why were you asking again?


Erin: They've tricked a dozen Bladestar grunts into walking into a bottomless pit. I still don't know how, they claimed it was a magic trick.

Melia: Er, what?

Erin: And then they went all Bladestar-happy and worked at their secret underground lab for 48 hours straight, pretending to be away for training.

Melia: WHAT? They told me they were making a custom birthday present!

Erin: Afterwards, they asked me to help them tamper with the vents and install poisonous gas tanks.

Melia: ... I think you really shouldn't mention that.

Erin: Also, they told me that they gave me the Time Amulet specifically to upset Spacea and Tiempa.

Melia: Told you they were great.

Edited by Mindlack
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  • 2 months later...

(If the player [PC] gets inducted into Bladestar then exposes Flora)


Florin : Flora, you are under arrest for affiliation with Bladestar and endangering GDC's citizens.

Flora : Wait, PC is also a part of Bladestar!

Florin, Melia & Venam : What ? 

Flora : I would know, I recruited them personally.

PC : You mean that you just declared me a part of Bladestar without my consent ?

Flora : But you wanted it, right ?

PC : No !

Florin : Doesn't matter, you are still going to prison.

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During Narcissa gym challenge


Ren: Welcome to my house as you can see Ive knoced over many chairs beacuse I get so tilled at the towers 

MC: This isn't tilled or a tower

Ren: Well you see this is a gamer pad not many girls come over here beacuse I get friendzone so freqently but thats ok

MC: I'd like to be in the friendzone I like friends 

Ren: It's not as plesant as you'd think they don't like a firend they treat you like an item sometimes I'd just wish I coud be more than just an accessory to these women but unfortunatly as a gamer I don't get respect

MC: I'm not a gamer so maybe they'll respect me 


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*Tesla's Villa, when Amber and Venam left to set up the party*


Crescent: You should stop involving yourself with them. Every single one of them. I don't know if it sank in for you yet, but you died.


MC: Yeah. People seem to die a lot when I'm around. Keta died against Dranna back in Carotos Mountain. My mom died against Madame X at Blacksteeple Castle. Hell, I drowned a guy in lava when I was climbing up Valor Mountain.


Crescent: Wait, you killed somebody?


MC: ...


Crescent: ...


MC: I'm just gonna go to that party, now.


*MC runs out of the villa*


Crescent: ... I like our talks.

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(The main characters make it to the top of Eclysia Pyramid and find Ryland possessed by Flora)


Ryland/Flora: So, you have finally arrived, children. Unfortunately for you, it is too late. I have already obtained the Jewel of Life, and will be making my way out now.


MC: Flora, remind me why you need the Jewel of Life again?


Flora: Ahahaha! It's all part of my evil plan to SAVE THE BADLANDS!


MC: ...okay, cool. Can we have it for a bit first though? We just need it to heal a few of our friends.


Flora: NO! I will not negotiate with ANYBODY!


MC: Why not? It'll only take us few minutes, then you can do your thing.

Aelita: Uh, MC? I think you're wasting time. We only have ten minutes left.


Flora: Because I'm an evil villain, and I must crush anyone who gets in my way!


MC: Flora, how have I gotten in your way? I'm literally part of Bladestar!


Aelita: Please MC, just take the Jewel of Life by force. You're not going to get through to her.


Flora: Ha! I just let you in to keep you quiet! You were never truly a member, and I planned to dispose of you when I no longer needed you.


MC: What? Why wouldn't you want me in Bladestar? I'm a fucking legend! I've defeated Team Xen multiple times, destroying every rift I came across--including a fucking VOLCANION. I also saved Kristiline Town, which had been frozen over by some creepy ice goddess. I've easily defeated legendary mons like Kyogre, Groudon, and Giratina--you know, like the Pokemon devil itself? I've literally died and been resurrected multiple times. Oh, and who can forget the time I literally saved an alternate universe by helping overthrow its dictator princess?


Aelita: Oh, fuck this. (Jumps onto Ryland, grabs the Jewel of Life, then runs and inserts it into the pillar.)


Flora: You fool! You may have taken the Jewel of Life, but you still need me to activate the panel over here! Which I will never do, because I hate you!


MC: You really are an asshole.

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Sorry to double post, but I really want this topic to stay alive.


(Setting: In the bad future, after our hero and their companions have escaped their prison on the ship. They ascend to the deck, where they find Madame X.)


Madame X: I've been waiting for all of you. As you can see, I have dealt with the grunts on the top level. Let us now work together and leave this wretched place.


Amber: Who is this woman?


Melia: Madame X. She's...uh...our enemy in our own timeline. Uh...but she's right. We should join forces for now.


Amber: Wait...what? If she's your enemy in your time, why should any of us trust her? She could betray us at any moment!


Melia: Because...because we have no other choice. Working together is our only way out of this mess. Wouldn't you agree, MC?


(MC pauses for a moment, then abruptly pushes Melia aside.)


Melia: Hey, what the-!


(MC gets into position, reaches into their bag and sends out Charizard.)


Melia: Please MC, not now. We need to work together or we're all doomed!


Madame X: It's okay, I can deal with this. (Sends out Yveltal.)


MC: (passionately) Hello. My name is [player's name]. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.


(Madame X freezes for a moment; then leaps onto her Yveltal and flies away. MC mounts Charizard and flies after her. They both disappear into the distance.)


Amber: Well...I guess that answers that question.


Melia: (crestfallen) Okay, what do we do now?


(Scene shifts to Blacksteeple Castle, where Princess Melanie is watching everything via the security cameras.)

Melanie: Well, darn. I was really looking forward to fighting those two edgy dullards.

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  • 4 weeks later...

(Setting.  Saki and Amber's insanity of a reunion in Teila Resort)
MC: What in living hell is that?!

Saki: What this little thing?  It's the Saki Mower 3000!  It's just stuff that I constructed from pure silver, parts from my lawn mower, and half of an X-Box 360.  I was able to create this bad boy to mangle this devil into oblivion!  Unfortunately it's sister couldn't help it out!

Venam: Okay but why though?!

Tesla: Years of stupidity and teenage drama...

Melia: Wait a second... Sister?

Saki: Ye.  I used the other parts of the console to make another special trinket that's way more destructive silly thing.  I've created the most powerful weapon known to humanity!

Amber: Oh thank god...

MC: Half of an X-Box?  What could you possibly do with something so limited as half of a game console?


Valarie: You really shouldn't ask a question like that MC.  Especially with Saki.


MC: I mean... I believe Saki is gifted.  But seriously?  What's the worst thing that could happen?

*A while later*

Sakitron in a mother fucking tank while the blaster pointing straight at the MC during the House Sitting Quest


MC: Goddamnit Saki.

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(On Top of Valor Mountain.  I am really bored tbh)




Melia: DAD!


Geara: I've had just about here with this! *grabs Melia while pushing MC into the lava pit*


Melia: MC!  NO!


MC: You fool!  This is my limit!  I activate my trap card!  Killer Queen!  Bites the Dust!  Now! *a shadowy figure appears right behind MC.  Just when MC hits the lava, it presses a switch which causes multiple explosions* Yes!  I-I did it!  It activated!

*At a slow process, the multiple explosions seemed to rewind time.  MC appears next to the shrine where Kyogre is sitting in front of him.  PTSD smacks him like a truck*


Edited by NexusMHX
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At the GDC apartment:


MC: So are we all used to quarantine yet?


Everyone else: YES!


MC: Don't worry, any minute now, and we can go down and continue the plot. 





Xenpurgis: Allow me to introduce myself. 



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In amethyst cave after melia "died"


Zetta:You...You! It s because of your constantmeddling she died!We would have caught her if you just stayed out of it


Ren/Venam:How dare you accuse him!it s all your faults


MC: Guys...Before we do that...Do you really believe it?I know she was defenseless, but even if we believe she was...by a pokemon, how could a spider devour her:There s no way it killed her so cleanly only her bag is left in a couple hours


Everyone: You re a trainer, not a physician


MC:You know what forget it let s just battle

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  • 1 year later...
On 5/20/2020 at 11:10 AM, Magus543 said:


MC: The DNA of the soul. They shape our will. They are the culture — they are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate. They become a carrier. Envy, greed, despair… All memes. All passed along.

Edited by KingInfernal
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  • 2 weeks later...

Somewhere in the Garufan Ruins.


After our protagonist defeat Groudon, while Cera has the eldest as hostage.




Protagonist: I don't have your stone (while holding the magma stone) and FUCK YOU Anyway.


Cera proceeds to throw the eldest away and jumps on the protagonist to steal the magma stone, till this one breaks in two, and you guys know the rest.


Whoever gets this easy reference will get a beer.

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The following parody is brought by one of my favorite videogames, enjoy.


Meanwhile in an alternate universe.


After several weeks of Team Xen meddling & terrorizing East Gearen, our protagonist & the gang had enough and decided to carjark Truck guy's pick'up, commencing a drive-by on the Team Xen's grunts, taking out their pokemon , slauthering every single grunt with all types of attacks. Whne suddenly...


Protagonist: (Gets out the pick-up excitingly, and proceeds to loot the grunts corpses) Oh boy, lunch money


Ren: Protagonist What the fuck! C'mon let's roll


Protagonist was so occupied looting all those corpses that he got to far from the pick-up until the gang eventually...


Melia: Damn he's shook us!


Venam: Motherfucker, I got the wheel.


Venam took the driver's seat and the gang continues with the rampage leaving the protagonist behind.



You sure you're down for the hood?



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  • 3 weeks later...

*During Pearl Route in Chapter 15*

Nim: Now hold on: I ain't your friend, buddy.


Melia: Of course you're my buddy, girl.


Nim: And I told you: I ain't your girl, friend.

Melia: Now that we got that taken care of, let's move on.

Nim: ... God damn it, walked right into that one.

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*During Chapter 5*


Madame X: Yveltal, destroy MC with Decimation!


Yveltal: *screams in pain and goes out*


Madame X: What? It's a level 100 Pokèmon!


MC: Ahah cursed body goes brr





*During Chapter 9*


Geara: Fall into the lava, you bastard!


MC: *dies*


Melia: *screams in agony*


Five minutes later:


Crescent: Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.


MC: *wakes up* Okay, I'm ready. *punches Geara from behind*


Geara: How are you alive!?


MC: I'm the protagonist of this anime, I can't die like this! *goes Super Saiyan and proceeds to OHKO Z/G's team*






*During Chapter 12*


MC: *sacrifices to save Melia*


Five minutes later...


Melia: For MC, for Venam, for everyone! *proceeds to go Super Saiyan 3*


MC: Melia, I'm back! Let's beat that foolish kid together! *goes Super Saiyan, but not seriously, it's just mad*


MC & Melia: *proceed to beat Melanie, like they always do together, seriously, this duo is unstoppable, someone give some Snickers to them!*





*During Chapter 15*




MC: *fuses with its past counterpart and goes Ultra Instinct*


Puppet Master: He seriously transformed, n-


MC: *destroys PM's shield with a godly move*



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  • 4 weeks later...

After watching Snapcube's Shadow the Hedgehog Real-Time Fandub, this idea came up.


Scene: Chapter 13, After the First Rift Gardevoir Fight



MC: Alright now that she's finally out of the way I can go defeat Inriad and s-


Gardevoir: Hey what's up, it's me.




Gardevoir: I don't know how to impress it upon you that physical damage done to my body does not affect my in the long run.


Ren: *Steps forward with the rest of your friends that are there* [MC] we're here to help you, I don't know how but I value our friendship!


Gardevoir: It's really cute that you're going to defeat me with 'The Power of Friendship' and all but again, I am THE Devil from THE Bible. So you-


MC: Hey! You didn't let me finish!


Gardevoir: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I'm the devil I don't care, I DO NOT CARE. You don't understand, I came down here as a JOKE to have FUN! This means nothing... to me. This means NOTHING to me, alright! You mean NOTHING to me! YOU and your little friends are fucking annoying! This is why I stay down in the basement, this is why I punish sinners. I am the GOOD GUY, do you realise? I am the GOOD GUY here! I am the WINNER of EVERYTHING! Arceus goes up and he plays with all his little friends like "Oh you donated to charity" or whatever...


MC: Ugh...


Gardevoir: I get to kill people and poke people with... HOT... STICKS... all day! It's great! 


Ren: I think she's losing it entirely...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter 15:


Alexandra: "We think MC was the one who make the reset."


Literally everyone: *glance at MC*


MC: Ayo, I literally saved your world many times, stop watching me!


Still everyone: *pressed X for doubt*


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