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Team Xen Coronavirus PSA Video.


(We hear inspirational music playing in the background. Madam X sitting at her desk looking at the camera.) 

Madam X: Greetings, this is Madam X, future ruler of the world, and local supervillain of Aevium. Recently, a pandemic has spread across the world of Pokemon. We have no idea how it began, because of Unova covering up it's origin, most leading researchers believe it had something to do with eating a rare breed of Woobat, but regardless, these are dangerous times. Team Xen and I may not be the most scrupulous of people but we care about the health of our future prisoners and servants.


(We see Madam X near a cafeteria full of Team Xen grunts trying to get a decent meal.)


Madam X: Self-quarantine or self isolation may not be the most comforting endeavor but much like Team Xen's goals, rest assured you are doing a great thing for the planet and the people who reside in it. Stay strong during these troubled times, wear a mask like i am currently, it protects both you and the people around you if you have to leave your house to get supplies. Of course all Team Xen members get masks as part of standard procedure, we must protect each other.


(We later see a confused Madelis wondering what her boss is doing.)


Madelis: Hey Madam X, what's with all the ca- AAAGGGHHH


Madam X: (Stabbing Madelis in the gut again with her sword) Now we must discuss social distancing, something Madelis here in all her usual incompetence has forgotten about.  If you are infected with the virus and for some reason are in contact with people or are in an area with coughing and sneezing people, maintain at the very least 6 feet of distance, like how Madelis is now 6 feet away from me because i'm stabbing her, don't be Madelis, be aware to not be in close contact with people if you are at risk.


Madelis: But boss, I'm not even infected. Also could you please remove the sword from my gut? It's hard for me to breathe.


Madam X: That's what it would feel like if you infected anyone with the Corona Virus, shame on you Madelis, we run a clean ship.


Madelis: (Why me?!!!) But Madam X, there's a crowd in the Cafeteria.


Madam X: WHAT? (Pulls out sword) YOU DAMN IDIOTS, YOU"LL SPREAD THE VIRUS EVERYWHERE (Starts killing everyone in the cafeteria. )



(Later, Ren is near a chalkboard showing a diagram of the virus.) 


Ren: Ahem. Right, i've been order-I MEAN i volunteered to continue the rest of the video. But remember, social distancing is an important way to help stop the spread of the virus. Sure i may be in a robotic body but the virus can spread on surfaces and it's dangerous to touch me if my robot body has any virus on it. Please keep your hands away from your mouth, eyes, noses, and other entries into your body unless you have thoroughly cleaned it. .... Now what?


Nastasia: "whispers" Wash your hands. 


Ren: OH RIGHT, thanks Nastasia forgot about that part where i demonstrate.




Ren: You can edit it out later. " washes hands but then his hands start to short circuit." OWWWWW SHIT, MY HANDS AREN"T WATERPROOF HELP!!!!!


Nastasia: Uggghhh, CUT!!!



END of part 1. 



Anyone else have ideas on spreading ideas on how to combat the Coronavirus through helpful jokes? I just find the idea of Team Xen trying to make a PSA video hilarious. Feel free to run with this idea.






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Cera: Lady Angie it seems the world is being ravaged by something called the... Volcorona Virus? no no the Corona Virus my mistake. It seems everyone must remain at least 6 feet apart for safety among other assorted things.

Angie: Six feet apart you say?

Cera: Yes M'lady.

Angie: So youre saying that nobody may do such sinful things like hand holding anymore?

Cera: ...Yes M'lady...?

Angie: I fail to see how this is a bad thing, now everyone leaves space for the lord!

Cera: it also means churches and other such gatherings are seen as very bad ideas as it could spread the virus M'lady.

Angie: .... Cera get the camera, we have a PSA to make.

Cera: I wish i could hold your hand M'lady... Right Away M'lady!

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Meanwhile with Team Melia awkwardly trying to shoot the breeze while waiting for when they can finally leave their apartment.


MC: Sooooooooo.....Erin.  Do you know what Shonen is?

Erin: No, what is it?

MC: It's an anime style where the main character grows and learns things like the power of friendship and acceptance of others.

Erin: I already hate it. But i will humor you, and watch it. As long as it's not relentlessly cheerful. 

Melia: She's clearly excited to watch.

Erin: AM NOT!!!!!!!

Melia: The badly concealed smile and red face says otherwise.

"Erin and Melia start tossing pillows at each other"

MC: (So this is how i die.)


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Okay, so, since Team Xen is doing PSAs over the Coronavirus, some particularly dirty-minded opponents are bound to counterattack...

(warning: what follows is nowhere near any kind of sound medical advice -- please don't follow anyone's actions as shown below)




Getting into Xen headquarters had been a breeze. She should have done that earlier, actually. These distancing measures were actually severely hurting their ability to be a nuisance, and their security. She hadn't had any trouble to find a sick executive, send them wherever she pleased, and take their uniform (and access codes the person had so carelessly written on a small note on their desk, because they were better off self-isolating but worried about forgetting the codes -- everyone knew why no one ever claimed they had forgotten the codes). The cafeteria was sparsely populated, with at most a couple of people per six-person-table, always at opposite ends. A crowd of Team Xen grunts was waiting outside and ugly words were already said about how "the profiteers should eat faster". She almost felt bad for what she was up to do.


She rose up and tinged her spoon against her lifted glass.


"Your attention, please."


The ambient noise instantly stopped. Everyone remembered the disastrous PSA announcement that had ended up with over fifty deaths, curtesy of Madame X's utterly lacking impulse control. Not that, of course, anybody would ever dare even think it in these terms.


"You are aware that for a few weeks now, we have been enforcing stringent distancing measures to stop the propagation of the Covid-19 epidemic among us. I am aware that for many of you, it was a considerable and unexpected effort, and I cannot tell how much I appreciate it. I come back to you because there are news on this topic."


She stopped for a short break to appreciate her effect. Everyone was mesmerized by her words. She took a sip of water and went on.


"According to recent groundbreaking works by world-known specialists such as Pr. Nat R.D. Doplum and Dr. Jonas Railobro, the damages caused by that epidemic are mostly psychosomatic, a symptom of self-fulfilling prophecy. Everyone fears a disease such as the Coronavirus, and that very concern causes people's bodies to mimic the symptoms. In the light of this truly astounding finding, we believe that the time of self-isolation has passed, and that activities should start again as they used to be."


Of course, the noise started again, mutters of wonder and, perhaps, skepticism, which would need to be addressed. She raised her glass, hit again once with the spoon, and everyone fell silent. She took a sip and finished:


"Our operations stopped abruptly, so recovery of our pre-epidemic rhythm will not be instantaneous. I will present to you tomorrow the plan that your upper management has devised, and its execution will begin the day after. Medical supplies, such as masks, gloves, soap and disinfectants, for people whose concerns have not been addressed will be available, for we must be ready to all outcomes. Preventive medication will be issued as well. Thank you."


Crescent sat down, and, hearing the applause, seeing the rush of the waiting grunts in the cafeteria, fought hard to suppress the wide, vicious smile she felt coming to her lips. Perhaps, she thought, perhaps the epidemic had a silver lining after all.

Edited by Mindlack
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Melia: For the last time player, this isnt madoka magica.

Player: But it is! Rifts are witches, Xenpurgis is Walpurgisnacht and Mega Audino can purify rifts!

Erin: what about Kyubey?

Player: ....well weve never seen Madame X fully without her mask...

Melia: this quarantine is really getting to you huh?

Player: Oh no i just havent slept in about 2 weeks because the puppet master keeps blasting Caramelldansen all over the Nightmare City.

Erin: ...what is this early two thousands youtube?

Aelita: hes been playing "Wake me up inside" when ever ive tried to sleep.

Erin: .... definitely early two thousands youtube.

Melia: .... Shouldnt those two songs be switched?

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Flora doing a speech to her Grunts before the operation to take down Cassandra

Flora: And you shall have the honor- no no, THE PRIVILEGE to go forth and take down the maliciously evil Cassandra and remove her from power if, for any reason, you are unsuccessful the first runner up will take their place and so on and so forth.. Some of you may die.. But it's a sacrifice I am willing to make!

Grunts: [cheer]
AnotherGrunt: Wait, didn't she say we may di-

Flora: Let the operation BEGIN!!

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Geara: welp, now that the player is dead we can get Melia to madame X. Come on Zetta.

Zetta: ..good lord this whole thing was a shit show. And also i think Melias been traumatized by seeing the player fall in lava.

Geara: and im supposed to care why?

Zetta: because-

Player: I lived BITCH!

Geara: wha-

Crescent: teleports behind geara Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru!

Geara: Nani?!

Dranna: kore ga.... requiem da.

Geara: KUWA?!

Geara: KUWA?!

Geara: KUWA?!

After blowing up the teleporter

Zetta: sigh Thats why. I swear nobody ever listens to the Solosis turned Melia clone... just throw the damn pokeball, i can see you preparing it. 

Crescent: YEET!

Crescent caught a Zetta! Zetta was transferred to the Puppet Masters Nightmare City in Gym Information Kiosk number 11!

Nastasia: and thats everything that happened on Valor Mountain.

Madame X: Ok... now tell me that again but WITHOUT the internet memes.

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Madam X: And now i will take the MC's life with my sword the Senketsuken!!!!!




Madam X: What? Why are you all laughing?


MC: Oh my Arceus, you named your sword after anime. What the hell?!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAH.


Madam X: I DON"T WATCH ANIME!!!!! 


Nancy: "snickers" you name your sword after a magic school uniform. 


MC: Did you like Kill La Kill so much? 


Madam X: DIE!!!!!


Nancy: "gets stabbed" You still have terrible naming ideas. HAHAHAHA-"Dies."




Aelita: Senketsuken Senketsuken Senketsuken Senketsuken, hahahaahah, why would you name your sword after a uniform that flirts with it's wearer and is comic relief?!




MC: Sure, what other anime do you watch?

Madam X: That's it, i don't need to take this. 



"Gets electrocuted by Melia"


Melia: One last time. Senketsuken. HAHAHAHAHAAHHA.







Ren: I'm bored, so what do Team Xen members do to pass the time?



Nastasia: Well we had TV and some internet streaming but Madam X cut all access. I think she's embarrassed about something. 


Ren: Huh, neat, well i still have my copies of Kill la Kill, want to kill some time?


Nastasia: .... Are you mocking me?  

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Player: So i just got back from the store and in addition to everyone wearing masks i also saw madame X.

Melia: WHAT?!

Player: yeah, she was buying a whole bunch of bags of Shredded Cheese. Like, the whole stores worth. Anyway they were out of milk, who wants to go back to the past and get more?

Erin: and risk causing the end of the world? No thanks.

Melia: im sure that if its just one of us we wont cause to much trouble.

Erin: oh no im talking about the fact that were in the middle of a pandemic and time travel right now could cause said pandemic to happen SOONER if not spark the end of the world outright.

Player: ....fuck youre right.

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Parental issues.


Crescent: Nancy never told you the truth. 

MC: My mother told me enough.


Crescent: No, I am your mother.


MC: No, that's not true. THAT"S IMPOSSIBLE! 


Crescent: Search your feelings, you know it to be true. 




Crescent: Oh wow, jeez. What the hell MC, that hurts.


MC: Well you are kinda sorta terrible as a person.


Crescent: Well i did break Geara for what he did to you. 

MC: And you brainwashed Nim and told her to turn people to stone. 


Crescent: Well that was for the good of all.


MC: How does turning people to stone equate to the good of all?


Crescent: Wait for V13 to reveal it.


MC: What? 


Crescent: Now i made you this darling sweater for our true reunion would you please put it on?


MC: No. But can i borrow your Mewtwo?


Crescent: Oh i see how it is, i see that a genetic monstrosity is more important than having a reminder that there is someone out there who loves and cares about you.


MC and Crescent start arguing.


Amber: Jeez, and i thought i had it bad.


Tesla: I love you, may i have a hug from my favorite daughter?


Amber: Don't touch me.




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Had Crescent given us Dranna at some point


Nastasia: and this, is the result of Geara getting yeeted into an unstable teleporter.


Player: .... Hey Dranna

Dranna: ...Sup

Geara: Incoherent screaming


Player: OH IM SORRY, I FIND IT REALLY HARD TO SYMPATHIZE WITH THE ASSHOLE WHO SHOVED ME INTO LAVA AND KILLED ME, KILLED MY FRIEND NIM AND FUCKING PUSHED. ME. IN. LAVA! Its only because i dont feel like risking the lives of my other friends that i dont ask Dranna VERY nicely to hit him and dump him out of the ship. And dont think i wouldnt.

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First off, I love these

Second, my attempt at this

When you get teleported to the undisclosed Xen base by Gothitelle


Mc: *ignoring the amount of danger their in while looking around* Can someone direct me to the nearest wall?

A moment of confused silence from all xen admins

Nastasia: Over there… but-

Mc: Thank- Oh that one's glass, wait I see a suitable wall over there. Please excuse me while I bash my head into the wall repeatedly.

*starts to walk towards the wall, hasn't even stepped off the table yet before getting interrupted and impeded.*

Geara: Who the fuck do you think you are?

Mc: Sir I'm going to have to ask you to move before I use you as a wall for bashing my skull into.

Geara: What are you on!?

*Mc starts to get teleported again and shouts forlornly*

Mc: Noooo! I wanted to bash my skull into the wall!!

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Madame X: Soooo... since were all in quarantine i figured I'd call you all up and uh.. check in. Dont ask how, just blame Nastasia.

Player: oh you know, connecting dots.

Melia: you havent connected shit. 

Player: ive connected them.

Madame X: My god youre losing it...

Player: did i ever tell yall about the time i almost saw someone die in goldenleaf town?

Offscreen Ren: WHAT?!

Player: yyyup. 

Madame X: Thats fucked up.

Erin: have i ever told yall about the time I dreamt I killed god?

Madame X: thats a whole ass mood.


Player: I havent been able to sleep in three weeks, the Puppet Masters started blasting Crazy Frog featuring Crescent when i do...

Melia: Rip.

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Why Madelis's villain decay and road to redemption bothers me.


(Madelis attempts to join the group)


Aelita: No.

(Madelis looks nervously.)


Melia: C'mon Madelis has changed, she saved me from Amanda.


Ren: Sometimes an enemy is just another word for friend. I thought Team Xen was pure evil, well they kinda are, but a lot of them are decent people.


Erin: Yeah, we forgave you when you kept running out while cursed. Remember you could have hurt a lot of people, if we could forgive you why not her?


Aelita: Madelis killed Kenneth and tried to melt Sheridan with lava.


MC: Mhm.

(Everyone stares at Madelis.)


Madelis: ONE TIME!!!

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In the nightmare City

Puppet Master: oh what music should i play today...

Zetta: slams his fist down on the table I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE 

Magenta: Sipping Coffee i want to ride my biiike~

Neon: putting down some toast i want to ride my biCYCLE

Puppet Master: i want to ride it where i liiike~ YES YES THATS IT! Good work team! This weeks song shall be I want to ride my Bicycle by Queen!

And the player did not get any sleep that week either.

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V-12 shipping.


Damian: Bro, close your eyes


Ryland: Why, bro?


Damian: Just close your eyes, bro.


Ryland: Ok. 


Damian: What do you see, bro?


Ryland: Nothing.


Damian: That's my world without you, bro.


Ryland: Bro 😭

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Ren: Well my robot body comes equipped with state of the art technology, like a laser canon, wings, energy shielding, and a three in once Ice cream, Soda, and Cereal dispenser.

Player: uh...

Ren: Blame Nastasia i only wanted the Soda Dispenser.  


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Madame X: Hey, Madelis. Do you want to hear a joke?


Madelis, still shaky from getting slashed by her: Um... Okay, sure.


Madame X: What kind of cheese isn't yours?


Madelis: Um... Nach--


*Madame X slashes Madelis again*


Madame X: All of it. *pulls out a bag of shredded cheddar, and starts eating out of it* It's MY cheese.

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Reporter: in other news, the world is currently suffering a shortage of bags of Shredded Cheese.

madame X: *eating Cheese* thats because ive bought all of it.

Nastasia: over the intercom This just in, Player has raided the cheese storage, weve lost all the cheese there.


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Player: Pokemon Pranks! With Friends! 

Player: Zubat GO!

Player: use Super Sonic.

Venam: loudly plays her Guitar

Melia: what the fuck?!

Player: Melia is confused!


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Speaking of Twitter.


Angie with her Regice about to freeze Sashila village.




Cera: Uuhhh mi'lady, you can't say that.


Angie: What? 


Cera: It wouldn't do for a loyal servant of Arceus to discriminate against people of certain cultures. 


MC: Yeah, not cool Angie. 





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5 minutes ago, Magus543 said:

Speaking of Twitter.


Angie with her Regice about to freeze Sashila village.




Cera: Uuhhh mi'lady, you can't say that.


Angie: What? 


Cera: It wouldn't do for a loyal servant of Arceus to discriminate against people of certain cultures. 


MC: Yeah, not cool Angie. 





How is that related to Twitter? 

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