Parody a scene.

[Magus543]

So i've had quite a bit of a few bad days, and i think we all could use something to cheer us up, and i've had a bit of fun writing small parodies of scenes in the status thread, but i realize it's a tad off topic so i made this thread. So here's the game, write a joke version of a scene in the game or something involving the cast. The only rules are nothing mean spirited, bullying, or character bashing. 

 

So i'll start: 

 

Mr. Blakeory: Vitus, we have to talk about the status of your house, finances and what we discovered.

 

Vitus: Look i can explain, the lava pits are for when Marianette start misbehaving and doesn't eat her vegetables. I've got to teach my Marianette discipline, you understand. 

 

 

Mr. Blakeory: uuuhhh i wasn't referring to that, i was going to ask about why you made basic math questions your only security.  BUT LAVA PITS?

 

Vitus: Look, my daughter needs encouragement to do her homework.  It's been quite hard for us ever since my beloved wife died. " glares at Blakeory ". 

 

Mr. Blakeory: errrrr my condolences, but why do you have an army of maids? It's a most unorthodox way of trying to cope wi-

 

Vitus: IT"S NOT LIKE THAT!!! I mean, you see i'm planning on converting my mansion into a game house, sort of like that trick house in Hoenn. It's great fun. Those maids are the entertainment.

 

Mr. Blakeory: oooh, well color me impressed Vitus, i may let you keep your house after all and even visit once in a while.

 

 

Vitus: What? NO! Also not like that, they host puzzles and other obstacles and games in my new game house. 

 

Mr. Blakeory: Awwww. 

 

[TLinh23]

Vitis can summon a butler instead but he chose maid, plus the dude waltz in a viliage and seduced the local #1 actress like taking candy from a child. You gotta admit mr.V got game

[Kyublivion]

28 minutes ago, TLinh23 said:

Vitis can summon a butler instead but he chose maid, plus the dude waltz in a viliage and seduced the local #1 actress like taking candy from a child. You gotta admit mr.V got game

Oh god that IS what happened isnt it.  Just how high is his charisma stat?!

[Magus543]

Just now, Kyublivion said:

Oh god that IS what happened isnt it.  Just how high is his charisma stat?!

Same as Mr. House. 

 

 Oh god, he passed on his charms to Melia didn't he? That's why Ren, Venam, Kanon, and Thomas Blakeory Jr. want her. 

[Kyublivion]

1 minute ago, Magus543 said:

Same as Mr. House. 

 

 Oh god, he passed on his charms to Melia didn't he? That's why Ren, Venam, Kanon, and Thomas Blakeory Jr. want her. 

Would you like to talk about our Lord and Savior? Arceus? Whos that? I only know Melia.

[Magus543]

Angie: Now you will all know Arceus's cold truth.

 

MC: Oh yeah? What's the worst you can do?

 

Venam: I'm not afraid of a preacher.

 

Melia: Take your best shot.

 

Angie: Very well, you have forced my hand.  

In the beginning, Arceus created the heavens and the earth. Arceus appointed Kyogre to govern the seas, Groudon to govern the land, and Rayquaza to govern the sky. Arceus created Dialga who governed time, Palkia who governed space, and Giratina who governed the antimatter.

But Giratina became arrogant and proud of his power and thought he was the strongest pokemon in the world. Giratina fought with Dialga and Palkia in his greed for dominion over the world as its God. So Arceus banished Giratina to the Distortion World, and Giratina reigned over all antimatter, imperfection, and everything that rebelled against Arceus.

Arceus created all of the pokemon on earth and gave them life, and it was very good. But mankind and pokemon began committing evils and defiling Arceus's beautiful world with sin, and thus they joined Giratina's side and rebelled against Arceus by doing evil.

It seemed that the only option left was to wipe out the humans and pokemon from this world and destroy everything so that Arceus could create a brand new flawless world, but Arceus had another plan. The all-powerful creator of the world loved his creation, and decided to find a way to redeem them of their sins so that they would not have to go to the Distortion World.

He would send them a savior, a pokemon who would live a blameless life, and who would pay the price in their stead for all the evil they had done. This way, pokemon and humans would still have another chance to be forgiven of their sins so that they too could go to heaven and would not h-

 

 

MC: She's not going to let us out will she?

 

Melia: Yep.

 

Venam: How long has she been preaching? I feel like it's been days. 

 

Melia: About 20 minutes.

 

Venam: What?!

 

Angie: And after this sermon, we will going into a 8 hour lecture about the meaning of the 7 deadly sins. I expect full attention, and failure to listen will result in a 53 hour long session about the meaning of divinity.

 

MC, Melia, and Venam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kyublivion]

Prof. Jenner: Ok Ok just a little more and ill have gotten this Nim girl to safety and maybe my daughter wont hate me-
Geara: This bitch empty, YEET!
Prof. Jenner: OH DEAR GO-

Later

Geara: Im tired of this, YEET!
Player: Oh shit thats lava.

Even Later

Crescent: YEET!
Geara: so THATS what that like OH DEAR GOD EVERYTHING HURTS!

[MhicKy]

That's an oldie but a goodie!

Angie: I know the cold truth!

MC: And what would that be?!

Angie: You can shut up a mute person by tying their hands

Venam: Oh! OOOOOOOOOH!!
Melia: Venam, shut up.. That was awful..
MC: .. It do be like that..
Cera: Your genius is dazzling, my lady

[Generic Gamer]

PC: Begins crying after getting stomped on by Madame X

 

Madame X: Oh my God, you actually are crying!

 

PC: I'm not crying! i'm not!

 

Madame X: Honestly, now i just feel bad. normally i just shank whatever is in my way, but with you i've gotten a little bit attached. it's like putting down old Poke-yeller.

Aelita, in the distance: How is that a thing?!

 

[Magus543]

When Angie makes her return.

 

 

Angie: You know MC, I never did read your entry on the information Cera gathered.

 

 

MC: Oh I have crippling depression that I cope with my enjoyment of Pokemon battles, bad jokes and love of science and machines, I genuinely worry I can’t truly connect with people and that my friends view me as a tool to be discarded once this crusade is over. I distract myself from my actual problems by joining on this little super adventure crusade in the vain hope I can feel something, maybe make a few friends and to forget the horrifying trauma I’ve been through such as my mother dying right in front of me, and constant attempts on my life. Hell I even died a couple of times. It’s been a very liberating experience actually.
 

 

Angie: ... Well way to take the fun out of saying the flaws of people and humiliating them. 
 

 

Erin: “ Pats MC on the shoulder” We have so much to discuss.

 

 

Angie: Well lets see here, oh what about-

 

MC: I think Melia’s self pity is embarrassing and she’s a bit pompous.

 

Melia: What? Hey!

 

 

Erin: He’s got a point Sis.

 

Melia: Eehhh fair.

 

 

 

Angie: Damn you all! You people take out all the fun of being evil. I’m going back to my lair.

 

 

Cera: I thought your attempts were brilliant milady.

 

 

Angie: Don’t patronize me.

[Generic Gamer]

2 hours ago, Magus543 said:

When Angie makes her return.

 

 

Angie: You know MC, I never did read your entry on the information Cera gathered.

 

 

MC: Oh I have crippling depression that I cope with my enjoyment of Pokemon battles, bad jokes and love of science and machines, I genuinely worry I can’t truly connect with people and that my friends view me as a tool to be discarded once this crusade is over. I distract myself from my actual problems by joining on this little super adventure crusade in the vain hope I can feel something, maybe make a few friends and to forget the horrifying trauma I’ve been through such as my mother dying right in front of me, and constant attempts on my life. Hell I even died a couple of times. It’s been a very liberating experience actually.
 

 

Angie: ... Well way to take the fun out of saying the flaws of people and humiliating them. 
 

 

Erin: “ Pats MC on the shoulder” We have so much to discuss.

 

 

Angie: Well lets see here, oh what about-

 

MC: I think Melia’s self pity is embarrassing and she’s a bit pompous.

 

Melia: What? Hey!

 

 

Erin: He’s got a point Sis.

 

Melia: Eehhh fair.

 

 

 

Angie: Damn you all! You people take out all the fun of being evil. I’m going back to my lair.

 

 

Cera: I thought your attempts were brilliant milady.

 

 

Angie: Don’t patronize me.

Alternately:


Angie:.......i may not be in any position to judge, but fuck, man, you need to get some help.

Edited April 26, 2020 by Generic Gamer

[Kyublivion]

Madame X: *kills mom*

Chorus: mmmm what'cha saaaaay~

Madame X: You thought you were strong together. And here you are now. Let this be a lesson. Numbers do not help. Friends do not help. Nothing ever helps. No one ever- wait... thats the wrong script can we do that again?

Player: YOU KILLED MY MOTHER NO WE CANT DO THAT AGAIN!

Madame X: Says you. *poof, time travel*

[MhicKy]

MC when you reunite with your friends and check their Pokemons

MC: YOU GUYS HAVE PERFECT IV POKEMONS WITH HELD ITEMS LIKE LEFTOVERS AND LIFE ORB?! HOW?!

Ren/Melia: Huuuh.. You don't?

MC: ALL I HAVE ACCESS TO IS STUPID BASIC BERRIES AND DUMB PLATES I MINED FROM ORES!!

Aelita: [Shows up with Crest and Mega Audino]

MC: .. I am going to have a heart attack.. WHERE DID YOU GOT A MEGA RING AND A CREST?!

Aelita: Oh this thing? An old guy just gave it to me! No biggy, right?!

MC:
 

[Kyublivion]

*meanwhile, in the bad future*

Madame X: with the Time Diamond we can return to the past and you two can fix your fuck up.

Melia: so its a LITERAL MacGuffin Crystal.

Madame X: No, a Macguffin would be the Magma Stone you needed to get to access valor mountain, not the Time Diamond.

Player: How do you even know about that?

Madame X: Shredded Cheese, now, shall we continue to plan how were going to fix this fuck up or are you two going to bother me about my favorite fruit next?

Player: well i mean-

Madame X: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION *Player name*! I swear i'm going to stab you one of these days...  
 

[Magus543]

Irwin: Bad news Melia, you are going to have to work at that restaurant again because we are low on funds. Don't worry, your maid outfit is still here.

 

Melia: Not again...

 

Venam and Kanon: (internally) Melia in a maid outfit!!????? OH M-

 

MC: HOLD IT! How the hell are we low on funds? Did these Spacea and Timeia or whatever not provide you with any funding? If they can control time and space and can put together a team through time to stop a crisis, shouldn't they also have a means to give us cash to actually pull that off? There are millions of ways we can earn cash with time travel alone.

 

 

Melia: Yeah, i've always wondered about that...

 

MC: And really working at a restaurant doesn't seem to be very profitable, and short sighted. Melia can make shiny pokemon appear for Arceus's sake! Can't she just capture shinies and sell them to rich people? That's a far better use of her talents than-

 

Venam and Kanon: " Flips the table " MELIA IN MAID OUTFIT!!!! STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!!! " Punches MC. "

 

MC: "Face first on the floor"  I hate all of you. 

 

 

[Kyublivion]

Angie: The world will know Arceus's cold truth, but first may i have your name?

Player: Uh... Player Name?

Ominous Church Bell

Angie: ...no way...(!)

Player: what...?

Angie: "Player Name"

Player: yeah...?

Angie: Could you spell that?

Player: I N T E R C E P T O R   "P L A Y E R  N A M E"

Angie: ....Oh Arceus above i have seen your wisdom and my faith is renewed. 


props to who ever gets this reference. 

[Magus543]

2 minutes ago, Kyublivion said:

Angie: The world will know Arceus's cold truth, but first may i have your name?

Player: Uh... Player Name?

Ominous Church Bell

Angie: ...no way...(!)

Player: what...?

Angie: "Player Name"

Player: yeah...?

Angie: Could you spell that?

Player: I N T E R C E P T O R   "P L A Y E R  N A M E"

Angie: ....Oh Arceus above i have seen your wisdom and my faith is renewed. 


props to who ever gets this reference. 

Okay, that seems so familiar. 

[fellowry]

15 hours ago, Generic Gamer said:

PC: Begins crying after getting stomped on by Madame X

 

Madame X: Oh my God, you actually are crying!

 

PC: I'm not crying! i'm not!

 

Madame X: Honestly, now i just feel bad. normally i just shank whatever is in my way, but with you i've gotten a little bit attached. it's like putting down old Poke-yeller.

Aelita, in the distance: How is that a thing?!

 

Ahh a TFS reference we got a cultured person here

[Magus543]

37 minutes ago, fellowry said:

Ahh a TFS reference we got a cultured person here

Madam X: (After being electrocuted.) How could this be? My plan was almost perfect.

 

Melia: Well, you're either perfect or you're not me.

 

Later in the bad future when Melanie pulls out a Yveltal.

 

Melia: How?  

 

Melanie: Well bimbo, like a soon to be dead dullard once said, you're either perfect or you're not me.

[MhicKy]

Prof. Jenner: Mega Rings are REALLY rare in Aevium, I don't thin I ever saw one

MC: hmm, Hmm, yes.. I see.. How sad..

[Gym Leaders, Rivals, Important NPCs and even random trainers using Mega Evolutions]

MC: You done me dirty, Aevium.. 

[Magus543]

This is half parody half i felt like writing a MC retort to Flora, she's such a fun love to hate character.

 

Flora: Come MC, our final showdown will be here!

 

MC: All your self righteous claims to be saving GDC and smug sense of superiority doesn't change the fact all you've done is kill people and put yourself at the top. Even your own top enforcer you reduce to your pawn. Use whatever justification to yourself and your minions, but i know the truth. You are nothing more than a greedy coward. 

 

Flora: Bold words coming from a dead man. 

 

MC: You aren't even brave enough to fight me yourself. What are these so called victories you claim to have achieved after sacrificing your own crew? Killing a bunch of rich people and the defenseless? Truly it's for the greater good, YOUR greater good.

 

Flora: How dare you? 

 

MC: Yet for all your arrogant boasts of premature victory you conveniently avoid the true challenge. ME! You couldn't bribe or blackmail me. You couldn't match wills with me, You can't even hope to kill me. So come you selfish fool, and fail once again.

 

Grunts on the side: DAMN!! She's got you there boss. BUUUUURRNN.

 

Ren: Yeah MC! You tell her what.

 

Aelita: I could feel her embarrassment from here.

 

Flora: ARE WE GOING TO FIGHT OR NOT!?? 

 

MC: Sorry, i just love the sound of my voice. It's the perfect antidote to hearing yours all the time. 

[Kyublivion]

Angie: do you have time to talk about our lord and savior Arceus?

Player: do you have time to talk about our lord and savior My foot up your ass?

Angie: rude.

Player: YOU ARE LITERALLY REIGNING OVER A TOWN LIKE A TYRANT!

[Magus543]

Angie: I am making the world a better place!!!!!

 

Melia: You froze an entire town, they might all die from frost bite!

 

Angie: Exactly. 

 

 

[Kyublivion]

Puppet Master: beware the Xenpurgis.

Player: the wha-

Puppet master: yeets us back to consciousnesses

Player: Xenpurgis... Xenpurgis...like... Walpurgis? Like Walpurgisnacht? What is this Madoka Magica?!

Puppet Master: from somehwere would you like to make a contract?~

Player: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Later

Player: and thats why you all woke up to my scream shattering every glass in the house. 

Melia: Seems Legit.

[Bluedude]

(The player walking in the sewers of Gearan City shortly after arriving in the Avieum region)

player: mom got kidnapped, ship got blown to pieces, victim of a terrorist attack, mute form the traumatic events that I went through, and now I’m in a sewer eating some sewer noodles. This Isn’t what I thought would happen today but hopefully that’s all of the craziness that will happen to me.

Edited April 28, 2020 by Bluedude