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Fire Emblem On Forums: Mortal Transgressions (IC)


RedMageCole

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Mim felt the tears beginning to build up in her eyes and fiercely wiped them away with a growl.

 

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"Oh don't you start that you idiot. You made a stupid impulsive decision and I'm not going to let you escape that by saying you did it for Lucy. Now hold on to life, you absolute imbecile so that I don't have to feel bad about smacking you later."

 

Finally, finally, Godiva appeared. It wasn't her fault, Mim knew that. But it still felt like it had been forever. She shuffled backwards as the healer knelt to start healing Baldur. Taking her mask of, what did it matter at this point anyways, she finally fully wiped her eyes.

 

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"He's gotten two of my potions already. One straight to the wound, one down his throat. They should have stabilized him at least. Hopefully... you can do the rest."

 

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On 2/16/2021 at 10:07 PM, RedMageCole said:

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"Not quite in that way. Taking on the world indirectly through schemes, I expected. Taking on the world head-on, dismantling kingdoms from the inside out with whatever help we can get, aimlessly killing like we're military rather than a ragtag band of thieves, and at this point we're probably going to be fighting the gods themselves if this Relic thing even works."

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".....you really underestimated just how difficult this whole mess would be, huh? How much of this has gone at all according to your plan?"

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Justine's expression shifted rapidly as she tried to process everything Arthur had just told her.

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"Ferdiad. . . Again?" She shook her head, settling on a face of sorrow. "I don't. . . I can't allow this to keep happening. Nor can I abandon a companion like him. . . especially if this is how he behaves with the rest of Virtuous just nearby." Justine's entire body seemed to droop, tilting her gaze to the floor and shrinking her down to and even smaller than her usual large presence. "I don't know what to do, Arthur. I. . . I would have been willing to act back then, in the heat of the moment, but that is the passionate action that brings tragedy every time. I don't want to do that. I don't know if I even could, but I'm lost in the murky depths of the idea."

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Kane just let out a sigh.

 

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"Well, you certainly don't expect royalty to come knocking at your door after a string of heists and, rather than try to put you away and make things feel more normal, saddle the fate of the world as we know it on your shoulders. It's beyond exhausting, even when everything ends up somehow going according to plan." Kane pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning— perhaps the closest he's shown to having any sort of cracks behind his otherwise cool demeanor. "...I'm just tired."

 

———

 

The awkward feelings were radiating off of Arthur— it was clear that he was not at all equipped to help out with feelings of distress despite his temper winding down. However, regardless of what he felt, he did his best to keep eye contact with Justine and still look at her as she looked down.

 

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"Well... I guess Baldur's not exactly perfect, I mean, first impression I get of him is him nearly beating the shit out of that one girl— Lizaveta, right?" Something occurs to Arthur— he briefly pats his coat, before shaking his head. Not now. "Then we got Shin just... doing his best at every turn, then we have the aforementioned Lizaveta mouthing off unnecessarily so... Hell, even Kane looks like he's ready to burst at the seams... erm, this isn't really helping, is it?" Arthur lets out a light sigh. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that as normal as this is, and it probably shouldn't be normal... You know, things are improving." Arthur lightly gestures to Lizaveta and Shin. "Baldur, I mean, his heart's in it to be a better person— he took a blow for our mortal enemy. Kane... well, he'll figure it out eventually. Mmmh... I guess I'm not really sure what's going on with Ferdiad, but he didn't go ballistic like he did with Lucy when everyone protected her. He just... Stopped. So... Um... Maybe you don't have to do anything. Just... You being you, I think helps enough." Arthur, for once, breaks his eye contact to look down at the ground. "...It helps me."

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Lizaveta made a bizarre noise when Shin gave her a pat on the head - something like an incredulous wheeze, but with an odd tension to it, underneath. So that was how it was at this point, huh...?

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"I... don't know that I think it's likely. They've been looking down for so long now... even when they look up in one way... I don't know."

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"I don't know."

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"Really, I think something is probably wrong with me."

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Keeping her expression firm, Godiva nodded at Mim's information, doing her best to remain as focused as possible with the person she was trying to save,

 

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"Yeah, I can tell that it's done some of the work for me. Wound's deep, but with you two stabilizing him, he should make a good recovery. So long as he... Doesn't do anything strenuous."

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Liza's reaction made Shin realize what he was doing, and quickly pulls his hand away and rests it to his side, between himself and Lizaveta,

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"..honestly, yeah. I mean when I say I understand what you mean by that."

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"It's hard to see things getting better anytime soon, I can't remember the last time things were really looking to let up..."

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"But hey, if this is really rock bottom, the only way we can go is up.. I think.. all there is to do is to just keep surviving.." He winces again at the memories of the lake popping back into his head.

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Arthur looked down long enough for a lock of turquoise hair to drift into his vision. A gentle impact landed on his shoulder an instant later; Justine had leaned against him.

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"I just don't want all of this to come to nothing. It feels like everything is going to fall apart, and then all the suffering we've caused along the way will have no purpose. Hundreds of people caught up in our failure, most for the crime of wanting to defend their homes or find stable work." The dancer took a deep, shuddering breath. "And I feel like. . . no, I wish that there was something I could have done better to stop this. Cecily left me behind, and there was Mim, and Ferdiad doing this twice." Another breath. "I can't see any clean paths out. I have to worry that our enemies will come for my family. My allies try to kill each other - or themselves. And I can barely do anything but watch and speed them along their paths."

 

A dampness began to grow on Arthur's shoulder as Justine fell near-silent once again, arms still hanging lifelessly at her sides.

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Lizaveta turned her head to look at Shin.

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"You.... think so?"

 

She let the back of her head rest against the floor, as words suddenly began to tumble out. Now that she'd begun to hint at the dark, pulsing, fiery knot of agony that she'd been keeping hidden for so long now, as it got worse and worse and uglier and uglier, Lizaveta found that she couldn't stop.

 

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"I think... I think I'm going insane. I think maybe I've already gone insane."

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"There's a part of me that is this- this swirling mass of hatred and bloodlust and a desire to see my enemies suffer and it is this little churning piece of my soul that has been growing and growing and growing- and I don't know if it's going to stop- and I don't know what I can do at this rate- I don't know what I will do. I don't want to be like this, nothing but rage and enmity, but I can't stop it, I can't even slow down, it's just there and becoming so much bigger, so much angrier. I can barely talk to people. I can barely even talk to people. My throat closes. I don't know how I'm saying this. But I can't just let go- I can't just let go- I need to do this. I need to do this. I NEED to do this. I need to hold on to the one thing I have left to live for, I can't let it go, I can't let it go, but I'm going crazy, but I can't let it go!"

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Arthur's heart rapidly quickened. There was something stirring inside of him— not love, but... fear. Justine was close... Too close. Mim got close— stepping over the line and jumping back before Arthur would even know what happened. Justine always liked to play on the line. Those were both always fine with him... but Justine wasn't going back over the line. She was staying there. He didn't know what to do. Her words blended together at points as a bit of panic began to set in.

 

Spoiler

"Oh, come on! Do you really think I'm gonna love you any less just because you're the prince? You're so stupid!"

 

Arthur's eyes briefly went wide— sucking in air. No. No. He couldn't. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do it to Justine. He couldn't do it to Mim. He would have been bound to hurt either of them. It was bad enough that they were both slowly crossing over— who was he to shove them over that line? Yet... they were already knocking on his doorstep. What would happen if he found out, and his rage was enough to...?

 

...Her tears were enough to bring him back to reality. Enough that his arms brought themselves around Justine, enveloping her in an embrace. His coat was just as warm as when she had worn it— if not somehow even moreso.

 

Never again.

 

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"It's okay... It's okay," Arthur whispered. To the both of them. "I'm not going to let anyone lay a finger on your family. I won't let this path lead us to sorrow. And more than anything..." I will never leave your side... No... No, I... No... "I... We are a team. We... We will find a way to keep everyone together. I'll make a rallying speech myself if I have to. I had to practice my stupid coronation speech for days on end— I'd rather not let my speech skills go to waste. I..." Arthur squeezed a tiny bit harder— it was clear he was trying to restrain himself from being too squishy. "I don't want to see you sad any longer. I... want you to be happy."

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Almost on queue Baldur slowly lifts up his upper body, now sitting on the ground. He instinctively goes and grabs his lower chest in response to the great pain. Wiping the blood from his mouth he finally speaks up,

 

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"I'm fine," He's obviously not, "We can't waste anymore time here. We have to get back to camp- ACK!" He lets out a wince of pain has he tries to force himself to his feet.

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Mim frowned at him, putting two firm hands on his shoulders and pushing him back down onto the ground.

 

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"Nu-uh. You're staying right there until you get the clear to stand up from our newest member. You were an idiot, that means you pay the price. If you try to be more of an idiot, you're going to make me upset again, and I can't promise I won't slap you if you do. So stay still, keep bleeding on my coat, and don't undo all the work that's just been done."

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On 2/22/2021 at 7:50 PM, RedMageCole said:

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"Well, you certainly don't expect royalty to come knocking at your door after a string of heists and, rather than try to put you away and make things feel more normal, saddle the fate of the world as we know it on your shoulders. It's beyond exhausting, even when everything ends up somehow going according to plan." Kane pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning— perhaps the closest he's shown to having any sort of cracks behind his otherwise cool demeanor. "...I'm just tired."

Lenore sighs.
 

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"You're telling me. I signed up for a challenge. A last heist, before I took off and enjoyed my riches. Something to erase the red on my ledger. Not.....fighting some large conspiracy. Not that I never suspected something like this going on, but.....I'm a con, not some hero out of a fairy tale. I steal paintings and jewellry. I don't fight dragons and gods. This isn't my style."

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Justine's arms slowly returned to life and wrapped around Arthur, as she cried quiet tears into his arms. It felt right, even amongst all this pain and doubt, to be where she was.

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"It seems. . . I have not brought happiness to people in some time. It feels hypocritical to be happy when you say that to me when I've failed to give it back to another in return for so long."  She inhaled, the sound muffled by Arthur's coat. Justine's head shifted to give her a small amount of room to speak without this happening, though she didn't break contact. "I just want to create joy in the world. That's why I joined this group. And to see this group fall into pain and sorrow. . ." She fell silent for a brief moment. Her hands tightened around him. "No. I won't give into it. We're breaking through the causes, of course the splinters have lodged in us. All this suffering. . . it's only happening because we're making that change. I refuse to believe otherwise. And the only way it will end is if we finish the job. I will take the world on my shoulders and see it through myself if I have to." Her head slid against him again; it was hard to see, but her cheeks flushed slightly. "But I hope I can rely on at least one other person to be there."

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Kane remained silent for a moment, giving his own sigh.

 

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"Yeah. Yeah, same boat." He didn't have much else to say in response.

 

———

 

To stave off the urge to squeeze Justine tighter, out of fear of hurting her in more ways than just some broken bones, Arthur opted to rub her back instead. Slowly, gently— he wasn't exactly skilled at such comforts, but he tried his best. It helped that he had some experience.

 

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"I..." You've made me happy. "..." His bravery wasn't quite there yet. As much as he wanted to say it, to reassure her... it just wouldn't come out. He couldn't stop thinking about the very ground that he walked upon. "...Yes. I... andmanyothers— will be by you. And helping you every step of the way. I... know it's not easy. But... We'll make it. Together." Arthur's face tilted down— turquoise filling his vision, tempting to lay his head there as if she were a bed of flowers... The very thought kept his head held up high. Yet he still held Justine— letting his hand continue to run over her back, though his touch began to slow down. "...Am I doing this right?... The... um... hugging. Is it too much?"

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The tone of her voice drew more of Shin's attention. His eyes quietly darting towards her.

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"Is all this is what you've been bottling up all this time..?" Shin, clearly taken aback, but it's not something he completely didn't expect either. Some time passes while he tries to find the right words for what to say.

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"...I won't say that I know exactly how you feel, but.. I wouldn't call you going crazy... I mean, It's clearly not good, that's for sure.. but something horrible must've happened to you for you to feel all of this.. and while I don't know what any of that might be, it's just how your feelings are, feelings you um.. should be able to feel, because you are human, a normal human person..." Shin growing less confident in his way of words as he went on, but he persists.

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"It may be a huge tangled mess that you can't let go of, ..or so big of an issue that you can't really cope with on your own, and that's okay.. because you don't really have to do either of those things.." He then turns his gaze towards Liza. "If you can't let it go, the next thing you can do is live with it... and if it's too overwhelming for you to deal with yourself.. there are people that can be there for you." Shin says as he raises a hand to signify "I'm here.." 

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"Well, I'm not sure if it means much, but.. I'll always be here for you, if you ever need me to be... like how you tried to be there for me." Shin pauses, for a bit.

"Let's just try to take things one at a time.. yeah?" 

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"You're doing fine. More than fine. . ." she murmured, before she buried her head further into his coat. "I, er. . ." Just as quickly, she drew back - not far enough to escape the hug, but enough to let them see one another's faces. Justine's held a slight blush as she cleared her throat. "I'm really glad to hear that you'll always stay. Hope is hard to find sometimes, even for me, but I feel better with you around. Anger and all."

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The butler reluctantly sits back down before letting out a groan, "Yea yea... you're right... Sorry for causing so much trouble for you two..." He turns his head back towards Ferdy, "I'm also sorry for taking that away from your Knight. It's just... now wasn't the right time."

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He's grateful when the girl arrives on the scene — a healer; he doesn't know her name yet. He suspects she had stayed behind after the skirmish, though why and who she was... escape him. And he lets her presence, small in comparison as she is, edge him aside. Off to the side, his blade lies crimson in the snow. Eyes watch the scene idly: the next act in this pantomime. Baldur — Orchid, a stage name; just a stage name — coughing. Snowbird, wiping away tears. He remembers attending operas that looked much like this, back home. He could imagine wooden scaffolding, velvet curtains, the relief of letting oneself be swept away for even a handful of fanciful hours.

 

Startling violet breaks the fourth wall, no longer as pale and still as moments before, looks him in the eyes. He finds himself affixed at the lines addressed to him — mind, words, all feeling stuck. He doesn't know what his expression is at that moment, nor can he find what words are needed to respond.

 

A flicker of red; a surprisingly delicate face. These don't make sense. It's a portrait that doesn't make sense, just like the bloodied man in the snow before him, just like the desperate Queen sunk to the floor of the front hall. ( You foolish man! You're mad! You're mad...! ) ( You are a disgrace to this kingdom, and I order your exile immediately. )

 

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"... He... should rest." He looks to Godiva, detached but not unstable, awaiting her confirmation. "I will carry him inside. If I may."

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"It's fine. So long as you stay resting, you should be able to walk in a few hours. Just be patient with it" Godiva replied cheerfully, standing up as she resisted the urge to brush her hands on her coat, mostly to avoid staining it with more blood. With the large knight speaking up though, Godiva turned to him, nodding in confirmation,

 

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"Staying out in the cold isn't going to help him. There should be some open beds in the lower levels of the keep, I can double check while you bring him in. Just be careful, I don't want that wound to open up any further than it already has" she explained, waiting a moment to hear their responses before making her way into the keep once more.

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Arthur had a bit of trouble maintaining eye contact at first once Justine looked up at him. However, it was the sight of her own blush that made him turn his face back to her.

 

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"I'll stay. As long as... everyone needs me, of course. Even if it's sometimes difficult to... Just... erm, let me know if the anger gets to be too much. At least, I promise that I will not let it loose on you. As... as best as I can. Sometimes it's... difficult to keep it in check. But... I don't want to put that on you. Or- Anyone for that matter."

 

Arthur's gaze on Justine managed to relax, even if he was still blushing and nervous. Of course, he still held onto her.

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"Don't apologize. We just need to move forward. We're here to help people in this group, right? The three of us, sorry Ferdy, we're healers in our own ways. We're here to keep this team from falling before we reach our goal. We can't do that if we're the ones falling. So we can't look back at our failures. We have to just let them make us stronger and not make the same mistakes next time. We can't change the past. All we can do is change our future. So lets do that. We'll keep each other and the rest of our group safe. Promise it, ok?"

 

She pulled her hat off her head, running a hand through her hair. Glancing at the coat, covered in mud, soaked in blood, she caught herself before she messed with her hair again. Change. Maybe it was time for that too. Something physical, to remind herself of what she was going to do. The jacket was gone anyways, there was too much blood to have a chance at saving it. Besides, that jacket was old. A gift from her parents as she set out on her merchant's journey. She was different now. Stronger, with a bigger goal in mind. Time to be that person.

 

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Keep him wrapped in the jacket, Ferdy. It's cold enough out here that with how much blood he lost, if he doesn't stay wrapped up, he'll freeze. I'll be fine until we get to a village with the lighter jacket I have back in my backpack. No sense in saving his life only to have him lose all his toes and fingers to frostbite."

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"A simple shoulder to lean on will be good enough, Knight." Baldur made sure to emphasize. He was not about to be carried off his feet back to the group. "My promise since the beginning was to keep everyone safe. I will do whatever is necessary to make sure that promise is kept... or well I will whatever I can at the very least." Glancing back down to the coat underneath him, a wave a guilt washes over his entire body.

 

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"Say uhhh... if you need me to buy or make you a new coat just let me know. It's the least I can do."

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Justine gave a slight nod before pulling herself in for a closer hug once again. She said nothing, instead simply relaxing against Arthur. All things considered, she was. . . surprisingly light. The dancer put most of her weight on the prince with a sigh, closing her eyes. She seemed content to stay where she was, taking slow breaths while nestled into Arthur's shoulder.

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