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princessyiris

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About princessyiris

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    An Expert in Knot Tying
  • Birthday March 31

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  1. Sorry that your writing was too political for the Reborn forum to tolerate.

    1. xX_Rock_Wrecker_Xx

      xX_Rock_Wrecker_Xx

      And too good might I add

  2. This is usually caused by certain attacks that the AI wants to call, but isn't really able to. Nature Power, for example, is a move that will cause the AI to lock up and just not use any move whatsoever.
  3. Fangames have a bad rep when it comes to bad writing. I'd rather people not learn from their mistakes if they can learn those same lessons from other people's mistakes.
  4. I had a lot of fun with this game. Don't watch my stream of it.
  5. Preface: I'm not saying referential humour (making references to other things) is bad and I'm not saying metahumour ("breaking the fourth wall" in a loose sense) is bad. This is just my thoughts on the subject given recent exposure to it, my thoughts on why the problems inherent with them do exist, and how budding writers can nip this issue in the bud before it starts to fester in their own works. I play a lot of fangames. Probably more than I should, but I do love each experience. It's the kind of series where every developer has their own take on how to balance things, and each player can come up with their own preferred ways to enjoy the playing field that's been set out for them. I also have a lot of experience playing other games, and I'm an avid reader, so I'd like to believe that the opinions I'll be expressing here are based on a diverse set of experiences among a number of broad categories. Something that I've noticed a lot in Pokemon fangames, as well as most modern amateurish works (amateur here meaning unprofessional in a strict sense of the word, not to be used as an insult by any means), is that there's an overuse and sometimes even a reliance on references to other media within the writing. This is done for a variety of reasons -- too many to list here, but I'll still make an attempt at listing the main ones that I've personally noticed. 1. Canned laughter, as I'll refer to it. This is when a creator is basically copying and pasting something from another piece of media into their own, done as a reference but often with little to no context and even more often with no relevance to the story, setting, or events at hand. This is when you'll talk to NPCs and they'll make reference to something just for the sake of making a reference to it, as a joke. 2. Filler. This is when a creator's basically overstepped their own abilities, and they start relying on references to fill the gaps in their own writing. You'll notice this, for example, among a lot of NPC trainer dialogue. When a creator fills a route or a dungeon with fodder trainers but runs out of things for them to say halfway in, leaving the other half of the trainers being awkward references to other things. From this point on I'll be referring to referential humour and metahumour together as just "referential humour" to save on time. Again, there's nothing wrong with referential humour, nor am I implying that it needs to be cut out or even reduced. What I want writers to take away from this topic is how they're applying it practically to their own stories. Most if not all the writing in a game or a story should serve to further the game or story's purpose. That's where a lot of referential humour fails; it's a hard-stop that serves not to further its own story, but the pull the reader out and have them focus on a different story entirely. There was a game I played recently that would constantly make Spongebob references. Both me and my audience eventually started to just mock the writing of the game, because it would be trying to make us take its story seriously while interrupting us every two or three text boxes to either reference Spongebob or make any number of "this game mechanic wouldn't make sense in real life" jokes. References in games can be done well, but they have to be done sparingly and appropriately. Restraint is the key to any good piece of writing. Knowing how to maintain a consistent mood when necessary throughout a scene is difficult, but manageable by even the most novice of writers. The key is to have confidence in one's own work, and to avoid falling into traps of trying to "fill in the blanks" with canned references that ultimately just throw off the pacing of the story and destroy the immersion for anyone trying to get invested in them. The best kinds of references are subtle enough that people who don't get the reference will think that it's just another piece of the world dressing without having to stop and question if the writing is trying to make a joke that they didn't get, or if it's just an awkward stumble on the part of the writer. I wanted to make this thread because I know there are developers that spend hours making their games, and might eventually become out of touch with the people that will eventually be playing the game they've been making. To those developers and to those writers in similar situations, I'll leave on this note: References on their own aren't charming or funny. You need to be able to have the proper set-up in place for them, or they'll fall flat on their face. If you're ever at a loss on what to write, or what to make a generic trainer say, don't turn to references as your default method of solving that problem. Take a break to think of something on your own, or just delete the trainer or NPC entirely. Almost no one likes fodder trainers, and if you were to combine two trainers with two mons each into a single trainer with four mons, I can almost guarantee you that people would find it more engaging. The writing in any story serves specifically to further the story. If you're making references that serve no purpose, then you're doing nothing but undermining your own writing, and potentially destroying the entire experience for the people that would otherwise be the most invested in it.
  6. The fact that there are fodder trainers at all should make you stop and question why you're even including them in the first place. You could probably go through and cut the number of trainers in half and then redistribute their mons among the trainers are left, and you'd end up with a much more interesting set of trainers that actually pose some kind of threat instead of "This guy has a Skuntank and an Ariados. This guy has a Muk and a Skuntank. This guy has an Absol. This guy has a Skuntank and an Ariados (again)." where eventually I'm just pressing the turbo button on my controller knowing none of the trainers in this hour-long gauntlet are going to require any sort of strategic thinking on my part and "press icicle crash until they die" is the optimal and most efficient strategy there is.
  7. The constant stream of pop culture references (especially Spongebob references) and metahumour (breaking the fourth wall, references to game mechanics like holding a lot of items in a briefcase) made the writing feel almost unbearable because half of the characters stop being characters and are just wacky references to the fact that the game is a game. Immersion probably isn't something you'd worry about in an RPG Maker game or a Pokemon Essentials fangame but constantly being slapped across the face when I'm trying to invest myself in the world really doesn't do the writing any justice. It also effectively dismantles any attempts at serious writing. How am I supposed to take a scene about imprisonment and trafficking seriously immediately after a grunt talks to me about how the writer ran out of witty lines for him to say? Speaking of those "witty lines", the grunts and generic trainers say nothing of importance. Now I'm not saying that they need to -- that's why they're grunts and generics, after all -- but there was never an NPC that said anything even slightly meaningful. Generic trainers in the overworld could be a great opportunity to subtly hint at the intricacies of the world and how the daily lives of the residents of the region play out. Gangsters picking fights with you shouldn't necessarily need to find something witty to say or find some other series to make references to, they could threaten you or try to intimidate you or at least hint at some sense of suspicion they have of you and why they want to take you down in the first place. The final cutscene of Case 8 needs to be given a serious look-over. I streamed that case and after the game ended, the chat and I were trying to understand what even happened. You need to have someone go through your writing and check for errors. This could theoretically apply to any fangame because everyone's prone to making typos but the amount of errors in this game became a running gag about halfway into it. At one point the game italicizes a misspelled word to emphasize it ("amature") and later on characters use that same misspelling twice in a single text box. And I don't know if this counts as writing or gameplay, but some of the evidence options are baffling. I know this is a bit of a holdover from Phoenix Wright, but there's one case in particular that really made me shake my head. A guy asks you how a Bidoof could have ended up in the underwater lab. I showed him the evidence that says "The only way into the lab is by submarine." and was told that was the wrong piece of evidence. The correct piece of evidence, one that says "You can't be teleported into the lab." was the correct option, and resulted in a line along the lines of "They can't teleport so the only way into the lab is by submarine." You might want to make certain options accept more than one piece of evidence, because this wasn't a one-time thing. All in all, I'd say it needs work. Good job so far, though. Looking forward to Case 9 and beyond.
  8. It's not exactly a bug but there's a trainer near the beginning of Case Six that uses a Mismagius, and the player's only Pokemon has no way of damaging it.
  9. I remember him mentioning someone, but I had no idea he meant the penthouse lady. That one's on me. In the what? If there's a thread for this kind of stuff, I'm not seeing it in the general tab. Truthfully, this whole Reborn Clubs thing is obtuse to me. EDIT: Found it. I'm a genius.
  10. I'm stuck on the case where I need to find Monty. I've gotten as far as this clue: I've visited the Real Estate Office, but they told me that the owner was out having lunch. Cue an hour or two of me visiting what feels like every restaurant, bar, cafe, and food court in the city, to no avail. I feel like I'm either missing something really obvious or there's one particular food service area I've forgotten about. Can someone gimme a small pointer in the right direction? The stream monsters have made fun of me for running in and out of the same buildings as if I was expecting something new to happen.
  11. Can't believe they censored your thread promoting intelligent discussion of weather effects, and how they enable a more serious metagame for serious matches on the ladder.

  12. Nope. Tossed a Pokeball at it on turn two, when Ice Shard failed to damage it, just to see what would happen.
  13. I caught the ghost in the spooky penthouse box, the one that requires the den key, and then opening the Pokemon menu gave me this area and crashed the game.
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