OraCLesofFire

I regret cutting my fingernails already... How do people function with little to no fingernails? I feel completely useless

Black couple were the last people to leave the pool as I was locking up. They come up to me and the guy asks if I would slap her ass.

Super awkward, but I didn't want to make him angry, or make her feel bad, so I said yeah.

He then tells me, "she's great, it's like having a strip club in your living room 24/7"

Also he slapped her ass 3 times on the way out >.>

How am I supposed to respond to situations like that?

So what do people do with their lives when their phone stops working? I need assistance

When it comes to fingernails, how long is too long?

I have no mouth, and I must scream

The only thing I can remember right now is that I'm forgetting something >.>

how does one interact with a forum?

Life has it's ups and it's downs. It's important to remember in the lows that what is happening now isn't going to last forever.

Almost every other day I have to help a woman with getting back into the locker room as they are having problems with using the keypad and then opening the door, and yet I've only had to help a guy once..

I am slightly concerned by this statistic.

There is nothing worse in life than the realization that you have nothing to do

Nothing is more rewarding in life than having a dog cuddle up beside you when he's trying to go to sleep.

I only ate half the Spree's from last night, but it still completely destroyed my sense of taste.

Worst. Decision. Ever.

-Realizes I have to do something-

-Goes downstairs but forgot what-

- Returns only to Remembers what it was-

-Goes back downstairs and forgets-

-Goes back to room, remembers again-

-Goes back downstairs, then back to room as I forget again-

-Realizes the bathroom is right next to my room, and that's all I needed to do-

Buying spree's tonight was the worst decision I've made in the last year

Don't you love it when you renovate your room and get new carpeting...

Only to have your dog vomit all over it two weeks later..

"Did you know" is my most commonly used conversation starter, and I almost never have a fact prepared when I say it.

To whomever may read this,

I hope your day goes swell, and your dreams are beautiful tonight. Spread the love around today and share a smile with a friend! 

Have a smile from me:

May I just say, to whomever reads this, I hope you have a nice day. And if it's the evening for you, may your dreams be sweet when they come.

Sometimes you're just happy and you have no clue why.

Shoutout to everybody who's ever had their wisdom teeth removed on their birthday

what are words?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8O4NWBYgwg

How to make a phone call:

1. Sit on your bed for an hour practicing what you will say while avoiding thinking about the call.

2. Pick up your phone.

3. Forget what you were going to say

4. put down your phone and repeat step 1

5. pick up the phone and force yourself to dial and call the number.

6. Quickly hang up the instant it goes to voicemail because you forgot what you were going to say.

7. repeat steps 1 and 5.

8. mutter incoherently to the voicemail.

The best part of having a Quaker Oats factory right inside your city is that there is always a pleasant smell of cereal wafting through the downtown area.

Dear sun,

Can you please wait until 6 or 7 pm to go down? I can't walk in the dark and it's terribly inconvenient for me.

Sincerely, OraCLesofFire