Hi Evi. As you can see I'm relatively new to the forums, so I don't know you at all and I have no idea about things you posted that could have pissed other members. I simply stumbled upon your thread.
While it's true that human nature leads us to lying sometimes, I try to avoid doing this because lying in people's faces and then having to put up with that crap is a burden to me, and I hate needless burdens. So what you see is what you’ve got: a guy with no interest whatsoever in not speaking his mind here.
Reading your post was quite the experience for me because I mostly dislike witnessing the problems and struggles of other people. I'm not a particularly brave guy. When I see troubles or sensitive topics ahead, I tend to avoid them. But when I read that I felt compelled to react somehow. Not sure why, but I see you put an effort in explaining your situation, describing your way to deal with hardships, and I can definetely respect that. That's not something I could easily do myself.
People who have trouble finding their own place within our society are sadly not that uncommon. But I find seeing people who seriously consider leaving this world altogether because of this... frightening. I'm very afraid of death, what could come (or worse, not come) after. I don't know what it would take for me to even consider ending it all. Knowing there are people out there whose behavior and beliefs hurt others to the point of wanting everything to stop, it really, really pisses me off.
But I think they are the minority. Almost nobody with their sanity genuinely wants to make life difficult for others. Sure, Trump was elected. Against Hillary freakin Clinton, talk about a choice. That tells us a lot about what's going on in the world right now. But that doesn't necessarily mean all these voters reject you. They didn't vote for Trump because of his opinions on trans people, LGBT issues or whatever. Most of them don't even care. They voted for Trump because they were afraid and/or wanted to get rid of Clinton. They think they'll be safer with Trump. That's their opinion, I'm not gonna discuss it.
My point being, of course there are douchebags and intolerant people out there, but most people aren't like that. I'm not, I'm sure most members here aren't either. And despite what's happening, despite political power, douchebags do not rule our lives and do not get to decide whose life matters and whose life doesn't. We and the people we live with are the ones that matter. They are the ones with an immediate impact on us and they are the ones we need to care about. Like I said, I don't know you, but I'm sure there are people who love you and people out there who don't know you yet but just want to be friends. These people can give you strength just like you can give them strength. I know it may sound cheesy, but I choose to believe this.
You made it this far, you endured stuff I can only imagine. All of that shouldn't be squandered. Now let's keep going, let life happen. You can handle this just as well as anyone else. I hope things get better for you.