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So, you wanna play Pokemon Reborn...


Timber Dragon

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So, you downloaded Pokemon Reborn. Good choice, my friend! It's a good game. Now get ready for hell.

Think you'll handle this game since you plowed through the official games? Think again. Pokemon Reborn isn't a cakewalk like the official games. Pokemon Reborn hates you. It hates you, it hates me, it will kick you while you're down, it will make you its bitch, and you will love it. This is a game that's gonna make you play Pokemon like a BOSS, and you will come out of it as one... if you succeed. But success is easier said than done, for the game, now on Ep 11, makes sure that victory is earned.

To give you some padding for the inevitable kick in the nuts/ovaries, here are some things to expect while playing Pokemon Reborn.

Reborn sees your level grinding, and raises you a LEVEL CAP.

If you're a player like me who typically overlevels to compensate for her incompetence, Reborn's first punch in the face comes in the form of a gym badge-dependent level cap that decides whether your super-powered slave creatures feel like obeying you. See, the game doesn't like the thought of you winning just because your mons were ten levels above the opponents'. That overcompensation is for sissies. You're no sissy, right? (And if you are, you won't be one for long in this game.) Sure, Common Candies reduce your level by 1 and are cheap to buy, but I think this is the first RPG where I ever complained about getting too much experience. You know limitations are strict when you legitimately complain about getting stronger. Reborn spits in the face of players who think they can win by flexing bigger muscles. As you'll read below, big muscles are are in short supply here.

You will live as a hobo.

Especially in the beginning, and especially especially if you decide to shell out 5500 Pokedollars for a goddamn Magikarp. For reference, 5500 is anywhere from 80 to 200 percent of your current expected finances. The game's intro is determined to keep you in a perpetual state of poverty. Potions are expensive, the trainers hurt, and you'll be lucky to get 50 dollars from them as compensation. See? They're hobos, too! Truly, Reborn hates everyone. You can generally afford what you need later, around after you beat the first gym leader and trainers generally give out more worthwhile compensation for bugging you, but going shopping~ is rarely an option. It's not just a matter of finances; it's a matter of supply.

Good items are rare and, in many cases, nonexistent. TMs? Battle items? lol plz. Those things are for rich people and gym leaders. Oh, sure, they're there, but most of what's available to you won't be the good ones. Just as hobos can generally find what they need to survive--in our cases, basic healing items--we're not scrapped for the bare essentials, but the Good Stuff is currently beyond our grasp. Hyper Potions, reliable battle items like Focus Sash, TMs with strong moves, not for us! The only place we can seem to buy them is at the Department Store, in its upper levels... which, as of now, we can't even get to.

Like any hobo camped in front of a restaurant, we glare disdainfully at what is right in front of us but cannot gain, our stomachs grumbling for more. We ask the heavens how it came to this, ask it for some kind of mercy, and God aka Amethyst will smile down on us and say, "No."

If at first you don't succeed...

... grow thicker skin, because you probably won't succeed at first. Maybe I just suck, but I rarely got through major battles without at least half my team fainted. Because of the level cap, battles will almost never be won through brute force alone. The key to winning is *gasp* strategy! Yes, I know, shocking in a Pokemon game, but major battles require a lot more planning on your part than you'd expect in the official games. I'm not talking about simple type matchups--as you'll read below, things are harder than that. I'm talking about things like opening the battle with the right mon, because the wrong mon fainting at the wrong time can be all you need to lose.

Gym leaders have no souls and receive sustenance from your hatred.

Oh, the Grass gym. Feh, I got some Fire- and Flying-types. This'll be a cinch! It might be kinda tricky, but things are going well so fa--A CRADILY?! WTF?! *Smack Down. Total party kill.* FUUUUUUUU--

Yes, that is a true story, and no, I didn't heed the guy specifically warning you to get a Fighting-type for that unholy Cradily. You know how, in the official games, most gym leaders are minor roadblocks to get good EXP and an HM from? Reborn's gym leaders feel more like brick walls you need to chip away with your nails before you can proceed. For reference, that Cradily in the Grass gym is the second gym in the game, there to devour the souls of the Fire- and Flying-types you otherwise could have won with. The Cradily sets an example for each gym onward: gym leaders have moves or Pokemon specifically designed to counter their type disadvantages. The Poison dude? Plenty of Dark attacks to deal with Psychics. Fire dude? Electric and Grass to take down Water. Etc, etc.

There's no such thing as the perfect type matchup. All gym leaders have something to work around their disadvantages. That means your Pokemon that would ordinarily be effective against the opponent, are actually in danger themselves. I assume Reborn's gym leaders have access to some sort of exclusive TM shop where they can teach their Pokemon anything they want, because they can easily destroy you as well as you can destroy them. Sometimes it's a battle of who can hit harder, faster. At least beating the gym leaders reward you with a raised level cap. Except...

Beating gym leader =/= badge for level cap.

Reborn has fun dangling your prize in front of your beaten and bloody face, only to yank it out of your reach and laugh and tell you you need to do more. It's an asshole like that. For storyline reasons, not all badges you receive are worth anything, if you receive a badge at all. Here you are, pushing your mons to the literal limits, maybe one or two levels shy of the cap, and--surprise! You find out the badge is worthless and you must continue the story, meaning, you either waste the EXP you got by stuffing your Pokemon full of Common Candies, or you rely on other team members instead of your strongest.

Not receiving a badge immediately happens a few times in the official games, but in Reborn, the stakes for not getting one are higher. When Clair of Johto withheld her badge from you, it wasn't a factor that her badge was one piece of metal away between a team of obedient Pokemon, and a Brick Break to your skull. That's because other regions play nice.

Reborn has Tall Poppy syndrome and gardening sheers are quickly used.

Occasionally, with each update, perfectly good Pokemon are removed from the game because they're deemed too perfectly good. Look at the Obtainable Pokemon list. There's a reason many of the non-available Pokemon are the legendaries, pseudo-legendaries, Dragon-types, and other Pokemon with all around high stats, a good move pool, and/or an extremely useful ability. Scraggy is powerful enough that its event wasn't made available until much later. Magmar is powerful enough that it was removed completely. Before Ep 11, you got Magby so early and it was so good that other Fire-types were pointless. Reborn didn't like that. It was too special.

Altercations/removals like are supposed to keep the game more balanced and force players to rely on a greater variety of Pokemon, we all know the real reason is because without those changes, we weren't suffering enough.

This guy.

charfern.png

This guy is Fern. Fern is not a nice person. You'll learn to want to kill Fern on sight. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, Pokemon Reborn hates everyone and so forces you to deal with his asinine, smug face. No matter how many times you sweep his Grass-/Bug-type team, he will continue to imagine how much better than everyone he thinks he is.

In the end, it boils down to YOU.

It's rather distressing how easily things can go wrong for you. Sometimes my victories came from the blessings of the Random Number Gods. I've lost simply because my Ace for the battle got Confused and turned self-destructive instead of being a productive member of society. But bad luck can only be blamed so much before it'll start to sink in that it's not the game's fault.

Pokemon Reborn isn't hard because it's cheap. It's hard because it's hard. That's probably the worst part of it: you will become frustrated and be two steps away from rage quitting. You'll want to be angry at it, but you'll find yourself not doing so, because Pokemon Reborn isn't just hard--it's reasonable. You're not up against overpowered opponents with competitive-grade battle items or hax in general. Exclusive TM shops aside, your opponents are subjected to the same limitations you are, level caps and all. (Well, usually. Freakin' Garchomp Steelix Abra ARCEUS Gardevoir.)

This game weeds out the weak and cultivates the BOSSES of the Pokemon world. It forces you to confront your own shortcomings, and will not let you progress until you overcome them, even if it leaves you a cynical pile of hate. Pokemon Reborn happily mocks people who call hax by crushing them not with cheapness or Fake Difficulty, but with utilizing movesets and items in a way you aren't. Not "can't." "Aren't." It stands to reason that these battles are winnable. Plenty of others have done it, so if you can't, it's not the game's fault. Pokemon Reborn is ugly, and it will pit you face to face with the ugliness inside you. Inside everyone.

If all else fails, the answer is...

lol nothing anymore. RIP Gyarados. You're on your own now, bitch.

Now go to it, Champ. You'll get your ass kicked, but play your cards right, and you'll become the asskicker. And, if they already don't, then the official games won't stand a chance against the awesome might that is you. You'll have Pokemon Reborn's abuse to thank.

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Not only does this game make you its play thing, in a weird sort of way, you'll want it to torture you. you'll like the agonizing battles and the puzzles that seem to have been constructed from the pits of hell. This game sets a new standard for pokemon games with not only the level curving and capping but also the content. Not only does the game have an extensive and interesting story line, it actually seems kind of believable to some level. Dr. Sigmound, for example, is a great look into how truly messed up the world of pokemon can be. I mean the guy uses electric type pokemon to fuck with the brains of orphaned minors!! This game shows how dark pokemon can be. On the other hand, it shows you how awesome it can be too, and I don't mean the theme of valuable friendships that mainstream pokemon is drilling into this generation either. I'm talking about deeper themes like: learning to stand up for yourself, accepting who you are, fighting for those who cant fight for themselves, etc. One of the main rivals is an openly gay guy!!! That alone should tell you how progressive this game is( I love his dialogue btw) As a gay man myself, I was happy to see a main character that represents a group that I can identify with. All in all, this game is more than worth playing. If you truly consider yourself a pokemon fan and a truly progressive person, this game is too good an opportunity to pass up.

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Wow. Loved your description Timber Dragon, you really got what Reborn is about! This crap is HARD but it's the first REAL pokémon game out there, where you need to play your cards to the best of your abilities to win. It changed my way of facing Pokémon entirely.

One correction though, it's small stuff but here we go:

"See, as far as I can tell, there are eighteen gym leaders, and only eight badges."

There are eighteen badges, it's just that the trainer card didn't have all the slots prior ep. 11

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You made one mistake: you assumed that there were 8 badges. There are, in fact, actually 18 badges for 18 leaders. It's just that the ones that the game refuses to give you, you'll earn later on. Fix that and your description of Pokemon Reborn is perfect.

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Ha truer words have never been spoken, this made my day. I remember back in the day, I actually wanted to speedrun this game, I even had a route plotted out for episode 7, but then new stuff came out, bugs got ect. Once it is fully released, you know I'm going to finish what I started.

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Preach my friend! the struggle is real. Just got some time to download episode 11, I was thinking to restart the game just for the sake of 6th gen starters and my insanity all over again

The struggle is definitely real. When I got frustrated, and it happened a lot, I actually had to go back and remind myself of what I wrote here. It sorta helped, but it didn't make Noel any less defeated.

I just restarted on ep 11, and enough things had changed that I might need to ammend some of what I wrote here. Ffor instance, the Magikarp salseman in the beginning doesn't charge you into poverty--you instead need to shell out 500 dollars, and then go hunt down the asshole who steals your purchase.

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The struggle is definitely real. When I got frustrated, and it happened a lot, I actually had to go back and remind myself of what I wrote here. It sorta helped, but it didn't make Noel any less defeated.

I just restarted on ep 11, and enough things had changed that I might need to ammend some of what I wrote here. Ffor instance, the Magikarp salseman in the beginning doesn't charge you into poverty--you instead need to shell out 500 dollars, and then go hunt down the asshole who steals your purchase.

Don't you have to pay to battle the guys though? I think you need to...

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Don't you have to pay to battle the guys though? I think you need to...

You do? Crap. Well, I didn't get far enough to find out. I only picked my starter (a Torchic this time) and fought a few battles before going to sleep, like a robbed, Magikarp-less loser.

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Yeah, i think you're going to end up poor anyway...

And i think you're gonna need to win some trainer battles, so you can have enough money to pay... Yep...

EDIT: HAHAHA... here:

6z4rpw.jpg

The worst part? They don't give your money back...

Gyarados IS OP...

Edited by Vinny953
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Yeah, i think you're going to end up poor anyway...

And i think you're gonna need to win some trainer battles, so you can have enough money to pay... Yep...

EDIT: HAHAHA... here:

6z4rpw.jpg

The worst part? They don't give your money back...

Gyarados IS OP...

I... spent half my money on potions... actually, most of it. Because I thought this time, I wouldn't have to fight hobos just so I can afford a single healing item.

Truly, Pokemon Reborn loves us all.

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I... spent half my money on potions... actually, most of it. Because I thought this time, I wouldn't have to fight hobos just so I can afford a single healing item.

Truly, Pokemon Reborn loves us all.

Amethyst really care about us... Clearly...

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All i could think about while reading that statement, was the first update since i joined. That update had to make the gym leaders easier because they would kick your ass and fuck your girlfriend\boyfriend in front of you, and not think twice about it. So to the new players, remember, the game used to be even harder than it is now.

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All i could think about while reading that statement, was the first update since i joined. That update had to make the gym leaders easier because they would kick your ass and fuck your girlfriend\boyfriend in front of you, and not think twice about it. So to the new players, remember, the game used to be even harder than it is now.

The problem? It's still hard ^^...

True, i started in episode 9, so whatever...

I'd like to see what episode 1 was like...

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