OraCLesofFire

My dog has discovered that if I'm typing on my computer, he can tuck his head under my hand, and I'll be forced to pet him.

My car had the "low fuel" light, the "check oil" light, the "check engine" light, and the "check battery" light on all at the same time as I was driving today.

If I randomly disappear from reborn, just assume my car spontaneously combusted while I was driving it.

Today was the first day I've ever had to deal with a patron so disrespectful that the cops had to be called.

Follow the rules people... is it really that hard?

Random thought:

Girl in pig-latin is IrlGay

I don't know what this means

A very powerful song about hypocrisy, is very applicable even today.

The girl I worked with yesterday got asked out at least 4 times while on duty, and had one guy come up after he had changed and ask for her number.....

Not sure whether I should feel sorry for her, or envy her.

Most of the guys how asked her out were like 16 years old, lol.

What's worse:

Finding a used condom in the pool.

or

Finding out an older lady with demetia soiled herself on her way out of the pool, and having to clean up the yellow trail left behind where she walked?

Virtue is to personality as Beauty is to looks.

This will always be my favourite XKCD https://xkcd.com/1576/

It's really crashing down on me right now that once Girl leaves, I'm going to be completely alone again.. I'm scared.

TIL I know the entire lyrics to American Pie and also that singing that song in one go absolutely murders my throat.

I just realized that with my hard drive failure and my complete loss of data, my Mono-fire run of rejuvenation is lost forever. If only I wasn't too lazy to train sp.atk on volcarona and beat valarie

Never Forget:

the time the students at my high school boycotted a school dance and made their own.

It was called Grindfest.

I accidentally locked the keys to the house I'm dog sitting at on the house. So I went over to let the dogs out at 10 pm tonight and realized I couldn't get in. I know they had a very poorly designed back door whose lock malfunctioned frequently, so I decided to try to get in through that door. 

I spent about 30 minute trying every different possible way to guide the door out of the flip lock, but could not for my life succeed. I ended up walking around the house testing every window to see if they had left any unlocked that i could climb through (they hadn't) and then I went through their garage looking for a spare key possibly because I was completely out of options. No surprises, there was no key. So I went back to the back door to try it again and spent another 15 minutes trying to open it, slamming it this way and that to try to get the lock undone. 

Eventually I gave up, and as I was leaving, as I usually do, I kept my hand on the handle while was walking away letting it slip out of my grasp, and with almost no force applied at all, the door slid open. 

Im actually so done. It took an entire hour of looking like a criminal, to accidentally have the door open as I'm leaving >.>

Why are there so many people on this planet? Why can't there just be like 2 or 3 other people? I'd be fine with that.

There was a birthday party at the pool for what appeared to be an Indian family. I was helping a young boy put on a life-vest today because he couldn't swim, and while I'm doing it, he looks me dead in the eye and says, "I'm Asian, not American" then walks away.

How do I managed to wake up without an alarm 5 minutes before I need to leave my house on a consistent basis?

also rip shower

There was a used condom in the pool today.

I'm just going to stop swimming forever now.

My fingernails have just reached maturity. >.< I hope I won't have to cut them soon.

I have way too many conversations where I don't hear or understand what the other person is saying.. 

so I just nod and use generic positive statements hoping I don't look like a complete idiot.

Guy in a wheelchair with a confederate flag flying on it was upstairs lifting weights.

See something new everyday.

I don't know what I'm doing

I found a razor in the pool today.

.... a razor. Who shaves in a public pool? or any pool?

AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh I forgot everything about dating

Whenever I see my dog start to scratch an it, I quickly run up to him and start scratching the itch for him.