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Ranting ahead.


Yuki

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Meh. I need to get this off my mind somehow.

I hate having absolutely zero confidence. I hate this complete and utter lack of self-esteem.

I wish I could just once do something and get the enjoyment out of it that I hoped I'd get, instead of feeling overwhelming dread and shame.

I wish I could go and socialize with people without having to constantly force it into my consciousness that hating me is not the default mode of every person I ever meet.

I want to know what it's like to try and talk to people without thinking after every sentence "But what if I'm annoying them?". I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for talking.

I'm trying my best to overcome it because I feel it'll be worth the effort, and damn it, I want to stay and fit in. But I hate that my brain makes it seem so scary.

Not to mention I'd have better chances if I were less... weird.

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I don't think I've ever ranted to/at (?) anyone except myself while I was home alone. Why? Because when people rant to me it gets boring fast and I lost interest in their problems/feelings most if not all of the time. Don't take your negative feelings out on me if I'm not responsible for causing them. So there's my rant I guess, ranting about people ranting to me when I can't be bothered.

Edited by vsx2000goton
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Meh. I need to get this off my mind somehow.

I hate having absolutely zero confidence. I hate this complete and utter lack of self-esteem.

I wish I could just once do something and get the enjoyment out of it that I hoped I'd get, instead of feeling overwhelming dread and shame.

I wish I could go and socialize with people without having to constantly force it into my consciousness that hating me is not the default mode of every person I ever meet.

I want to know what it's like to try and talk to people without thinking after every sentence "But what if I'm annoying them?". I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for talking.

I'm trying my best to overcome it because I feel it'll be worth the effort, and damn it, I want to stay and fit in. But I hate that my brain makes it seem so scary.

Not to mention I'd have better chances if I were less... weird.

I am not going to try and comfort you but remember this (well, I don't know if you like Harry Potter but I Love him):

Hagrid: I remember when I first met you all. Biggest bunch of misfits I ever set eyes on! You reminded me of myself a little. And here we all are, four years later.

Ron: We're still a bunch of misfits.

Hagrid: Well maybe. But you've all got each other. And Harry of course, soon to be THE YOUNGEST TRI-WIZARD CHAMPION THERE'S EVER BEEN! HOORAY!

And you can''t be the very best like no one ever was without being different and weird. I want to become the very best that's why I do the things I do people. Mediocrity is not for me. That's my rant.

Edited by Kookies
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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm kinda upset that I don't know how to rant/vent. I'd normally just shrug things off and say "oh well" but when someone tells me to "let it all out" I can't. I either A.) Don't care passionately enough or B.) Suppressed these emotions to a point of no return. Heh... oh well

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Meh. I need to get this off my mind somehow.

I hate having absolutely zero confidence. I hate this complete and utter lack of self-esteem.

I wish I could just once do something and get the enjoyment out of it that I hoped I'd get, instead of feeling overwhelming dread and shame.

I wish I could go and socialize with people without having to constantly force it into my consciousness that hating me is not the default mode of every person I ever meet.

I want to know what it's like to try and talk to people without thinking after every sentence "But what if I'm annoying them?". I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for talking.

I'm trying my best to overcome it because I feel it'll be worth the effort, and damn it, I want to stay and fit in. But I hate that my brain makes it seem so scary.

Not to mention I'd have better chances if I were less... weird.

I don't know how you get that feeling of dread and shame, but I do know the rest of those feelings. Being weird makes you sometimes wish to be normal...

I'm kinda upset that I don't know how to rant/vent. I'd normally just shrug things off and say "oh well" but when someone tells me to "let it all out" I can't. I either A.) Don't care passionately enough or B.) Suppressed these emotions to a point of no return. Heh... oh well

http://memecrunch.com/meme/2UMAZ/let-it-go

I'm curious, does it also happen to you that you're really angry at someone, imagining yourself being an ass towards that person when you're going to that person, and when you finally talk to them, you just respond calm and collected? Or is it just me?

Edited by laggless01
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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, this has been on my mind for quite the time and I think I'll express myself now.

Hi, I am a classically trained Performer. I like to use the term performer because it neatly encompasses all that I love to do. I sing, dance, playing several instruments, act, so on and so forth. I'll be bold and say I'm pretty much your whole glee club package +1.

Now that the introduction is over, my subject is Art. Yep. It's as simply complicated as that.

I work with a lot of different people: tap dancers, opera singers, models, jazz violinists, stage actors, you name it. And many if not all are very passionate about what they do. However they all have very different defintions of what and art is. For example: the opera singers say that the classics contain the true essence of vocal performing, whereas contemporary music has no structure and is sloppy...to put it nicely. When I asked them about rap it was mostly detest. It was music but it wasn't an art form, something strange and new someone through together. I asked my other friends who are very pop savvy about operatic music. There response was what you'd think: boring, drab, loud, outdated and has no place in the 21st century. So who's right? Neither of course. Rap has been around here for a long time, a very long time in fact. And yes, I'm doing it, I'm equating poetry to rap. Why? Because that's what it is. Vulgar, rough, rambunctious, lacking in proper grammar? Absolutely. But if anything there is structure, there is rhyme, beat, tempo, mood, denoument, a climax and a conclusion, and above all a clear representation of raw emotion.

Lets side tract to hip hop dancing. In my opinion it is one of the most awesome displays of how music can be brought fromt he metaphysical to the physical in this dynamic display of human interpretation. Where the human body is the vessel and what we are witnessing is the beautiful combination human emotion and music.

Side track to disc jockeys and electronic music composers. Perhaps the strangest yet most dynamic movement of music since musical theatre. Just because the sound you're hearing isn't from a real instrument or an actual cello doesn't mean it isn't music, Dubstep, house, trap, nu disco, future bass, yep, all art. It may not be as nimble and crystaline as Mozart's sonatas or as smooth as Frank Sonatra but it is beautiful in it's own respect. Not just because it's different but because it can be just as nimble and smooth or moreso.

Side track to music vs. visual artists. Nearly one in the same when it comes to emotion. Beethoven's duett mit zwei obligaten augenglasern uses not brushes or a pencil but sounds and pitches to create this abstract, yet uniform and complete portrait of interplay between the viola and cello. And muralist does the same, yet reversed. Delicate and fine landscapes come alive to the sound wind, birds and emotions of joy or grief. The red adds to the horror and vividness of the sounds of war and anguish and fear.

Side track to engineers and architects. Mathematicians even. There is beauty in spontaneity as there is in uniformity. You ever finish a long math problem, get the answer and look at your work? How you've lined everything up, how well your reasoning is conveyed and how your brain struggled to make sense of the question. How from start to finish is your slice-of-life story or your epic journey of turmoil and understanding? And the sums fit ever so perfectly into where they should be. Then using that to create something even more spectacular. A vaulted ceiling, a bridge, a fancy hotel, a sleek car, an efficient engine, an interlocking tapestry of roadways.

So now that I've confused you, riled you, enraged you, ensnared you, and rustled your jimmies, my conclusion. Art is not something we as humans can properly define. We use it to express ourselves and our emotions in the most intricate ways. It's free, it's free to change and be nimble and flexible and refined and redefined. If we limit art, we limit ourselves and our imagination. We're always finding new things out about our consciousness and emotions. We're digging deeper, discovering something that has always been there yet hidden and we're exploring it and learning just what in the hell we are. Some people need Tim McGraw, some need Chopin, some need Pavoratti and others need Skrillex to bring something out of them. To stimulate that emotional trigger. And that's ok. We're human. We create, express and learn but have a horrible habit of being afraid and greedy and trying to cage concepts of which we are still too naive to understand rather than exploring them further and taking into account what emotions are present.

I know this sounds like a bunch of hippie jargon but this is really near and dear to my heart. This is where I get my sense of pride and joy. I don't like people descrediting another's endeavors because they seem lesser than ours. In our passion and struggle we can relate. I'm fairly sure that I'm a bit coockoo in the choo choo train but I've thought, practiced, cried, debated, bleed, struggled, sweated long and hard about this. No it's the most important thing in the world but.....it simply exists. It exists because we do. And existence for the sake of existence is something that we fear and I'm damned tired of being afraid of everything.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 weeks later...

As i'm guilty, i'm really tired of a lot memes and annoyed a lot of it.

Memes can be funny if used well correct honestly, but when it's repeating everywhere. That's when it's going to be obnoxius.

I like some memes(well made montages/ytp etc), but a lot of them i think is just horrible nowadays.

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  • Developers

Actually I never thought I'd go on this thread but that meme problem is actually pretty annoying.

If I see one more rare pepe which isn't actually rare then I'm going to stab something then look at puppies to calm down.

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I've been getting a lot of very scary intrusive thoughts after i quit smoking recently and part of me is wanting to pick up the cigs again because this is half the reason i started smoking to begin with.

Don't do it! Stay strong!

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I've been getting a lot of very scary intrusive thoughts after i quit smoking recently and part of me is wanting to pick up the cigs again because this is half the reason i started smoking to begin with.

Stay strong. It's not going to be easy, but you'll be better off for it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

You're probably surprised to see me post here. If not then i think i'm the only one then. I honestly didn't think i'd ever contribute to a thread mostly consisting a plethora of negative feelings. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH...

it's just this thing that happened today as I was on my way home. I won't go full onto detail about the matter but basically I saw a kid, roughly about 8-12 yrs old, getting physically abused by middle-schoolers. it pissed me off and naturally I told them off, and reported this to her parents. Apparently the poor child had kept quiet the whole time, refusing to utter a word about the matter.

Bullying is the worst shit ever man

I used to be bullied before for stupid stuff. I remember a big thing would be my teeth. They were pretty messed up cuz I had an accident when I was a kid, and my mom couldn't afford braces till I was in 7th grade.
People made fun of me so many times, and it hurt. I kept quiet about it, but I sometimes wish I could go back and punch everyone who said shit.

I really hate people who bully others. I usually stand up for people who get bullied and don't say anything. I used to be that quiet kid who would take whatever insult people would throw at me, and I had wished for someone to stand up for me or something so that's why I do it for others. I don't care if you're a stranger, if you're getting bullied I'll stick up for you

No one deserves to get bullied
Bring others up instead of bringing them down

Edited by star-kin
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I hate the feeling of not belonging and feeling like I have no reason to exist.

I hate people around me not understanding what goes on in my head. I hate how people who are constantly happy say that I don't try to be a happier person. I can't stand it when people who I think know me well say things that show that they have no idea who I am.

I hate feeling like I have to hide how I feel because the people around me can't help and just get upset when I express it. I hate when people who aren't effected by issues demean them or say that they don't exist.

I hate people not accepting things or trying to stop them from being true because they don't fit their expectations of what I should be.

Sorry, just needed to get this off my chest. I'll try to keep my usual positive attitude on the forums and not bother people with this again.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I hate it when the guy who works the next shift shows up 15 minutes late, and I miss the bus because of it and need to wait another half hour for the next one. I mean, once or twice a month wouldn't be so bad. BUT 75-85% OF THE TIME IS PUSHING IT.

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I hate it when the guy who works the next shift shows up 15 minutes late, and I miss the bus because of it and need to wait another half hour for the next one. I mean, once or twice a month wouldn't be so bad. BUT 75-85% OF THE TIME IS PUSHING IT.

Say that to his face. If that doesn't fix things, tell it to management. You don't have time to be putting up with that shit. You have a life and a schedule to be respected.

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I don't often harbor the innate desire to watch people die a slow painful death, but if anyone meets the desire, go look up the name Martin Shkreli. What this man is trying to do is nothing short of a holocaust on cancer, HIV, and heart attack victims.

Edited by Noivy
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All this I hate stuff makes me want to blow off some steam and complain about a couple of things.

1. Why do people have to be so judgemental it annoys me that even if I make the smallest mistake or do something silly that people just think you did something wrong you're a SCUMBAG! lol abit overdramatic but that's what it feels like I mean I'm not perfect sorry that i can't get everything right sheesh.

2. Have ever you had someone in your life that you thought was the closest friend you had then found out that person was really just a backstabbing liar that never liked you I had this happen to me recently and all I can say is I'm as angry as I am sad to find that I was betrayed by the only friend I had.

To conclude I hate how being a gamer is frowned upon it makes me angry that I'm judged for doing something I enjoy it's so dumb in my opinion.

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Nothing's as anxiety-spiking as watching over your 83 year old grandfather recover from a hernia surgery and seeing him in the worst pain so far and having to make sure his wife with dementia isn't pestering him. I'm at my wits end right now.

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Hopefully not, but possible offensive rant ahead... (Please note, this is directed to the "Christians" *cough*Westboro Baptist Chruch*cough*) Note 2: I am not generalizing Christians in all, just the ones who poorly represent them.. Ex: the pastor who was talking about Pokemon a while back, hopefully I have made it clear enough.

Just because people are gay, lesbian, non-binary, asexual, etc. doesn't give you the right to go bash on them for who they are... (Speaking in terms of the "Christians") They (most of the time as far as I know) cause people to commit suicide due to harsh ridicule and then say it was due to the devil and move along with their spree... I feel our government should put out a law against discrimination against the LGBTQIA,etc. community along with racism, etc. Not that it would stop it, but at least lower the chances of it happening. But if people rebel against them with,ridicule that would just call those people a spawn of the devil, possibly causing more suicides and they get to go on their way, Scott free. Granted this is a minority but I fell it still should be addressed.

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