Bearadactyl
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Reborn Development Blog
Rejuvenation Development Blog
Starlight Divide Devblog
Desolation Dev Blog
Status Updates posted by Bearadactyl
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For all of those wondering, Halo: Reach on PC is amazing. Buttery smooth 60fps, motion blur removed, and M+KB controls are fantastic and responsive.
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Is it wrong of me to consider just... Dropping a friend because they're too emotionally exhausting for me to handle?
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I hate being in the middle of a miscommunication-fest, and being the wall for three different people involved.
I really don't know how much longer I can just... Keep holding up their burdens and trying to fix it before I crack myself. -
Anger is a natural, human emotion; and I am so tired of the stigma toward it.
Get mad online? Get ridiculed. Get mad in public? Get ridiculed. Get mad about anything, from small to large, you get ridiculed and either made fun of or told to calm down.
It's even worse when it's a situation that you have every right to be angry over. Me? I get mad when "gay," "faggot," "retard/ed," "autistic," "tranny," "trap," or anything similar is used as an insult.
MY EXISTENCE IS NOT AN INSULT, AND MY EXISTENCE IS NOT A PUNCHLINE.
People are allowed to get angry. And, if it gets to the point of me or someone yelling at you because you won't stop? Me being angry does not put me in the wrong. YOU are in the wrong for saying the things you did in the first place.
And, all of this gets so much worse when it's over the internet. Then you get all of the snide, snarky trolls who can and will say whatever they want and press to offend or upset you because they know they have no consequences. Then, they bully and ridicule you for getting mad.
I am so tired of this. I am so tired of having to repress my emotions, and I am even more tired of being ridiculed when I finally decide enough is enough. -
TW: Suicide Mention;
So, a few years back; I had kind of hit this point of absolute rock bottom; I made a post about it here and my overall state after a particularly bad moment, not sure if anyone here totally remembers it or if most who were around when I posted it are still even here.
But, in the post I mentioned where I had gotten to a point where I was ready to take my own life; I had climbed up to the top of a parking garage to jump off but wound up not going through with it.
Today, I revisited that spot for the first time since. I did it with my current love interest; mostly because she wanted to take pictures from the top of the parking garage, the view is actually beautiful. But, getting to the point; on the exact point that I stood the night I wanted to just jump and end it all, someone had carved in to the concrete "Don't Jump."
And, I really don't know how to take it. Or, what to feel. I don't know if it was in response to a stranger who saw me that night, or what. But, I have this heavy feeling from it now. It's not a bad feeling, part of me wants to just believe that even some stranger out there cares about a random person hitting rock bottom like that. And, if that's the case, I wish I could find and thank that person.
I'm in a much better place now, and if anyone wants to ask, yes I'm okay. I'm more okay than I've ever been to be honest.
It's hard to believe I was ever at that point now; between the abuse of my family, the abusive relationship I was in at the time, and just so many more compounding factors from struggling with my own identity and who I am to no one wanting to actually listen or care about what I wanted; the trauma is still there, but now I'm with people who accept and love me for who I am. Both my love interest, and my new friends. And, I really can't believe the difference it makes just having people willing to let me be who I am and still care about me in the end.
I kind of feel like I'm just typing this for typing's sake at this point, but, I needed to let it out somewhere.-
l do remember actually... l was under a different name at that point though. l used ta be known as Hukuna if that sparks any memories, if not no worries~
The reason why's not a story that needs ta be told here however.
l certainly did and each and every time l saw ya again l was happy ta see ya, happy ta know that at very least you fought through another day. l don't truly deal that well with this subject... it hits a bit close ta home for me and with folks l don't know well it feels hard to find the words. But, l'm glad that person put those words there even if you only saw them so much later... even if they weren't truly for you and perhaps another.
Further, l'm glad a memory other than the first can exist in that place for you now. One that tells a much different story, and that you found such a thing on the return.~
and lastly, l'm happy you could post this.
l'm perhaps just some stranger on the internet but... it genuinely fills me with happiness whenever l hear of another like myself who found whatever way they could to climb out of that place. Of another soul that found their way to keep on living~
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My only request for Sword and Shield is to finally get some kind of Poison Legendary or Mythical Pokémon. Game Freak, please, even the types that came after it have them. I am begging you.
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I really hate it when a friend thinks you can just... Train a neurological disorder away.
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Dynamax seems... Weird. Like a universal, temporary Mega evolution. I mean, it might be one way too help the power creep; but we still need a total stat overhaul of basically every Pokémon.
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From what I can gather based on the Discord, Phoenix Rising is more or less officially dead.
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I did a little bit of looking around, at least on the subreddit, and it seems like quite a few devs have left, and in general development has been slow? IDK if it's dead, but it is sort of 'limping along' it seems. Seems like a lot of these newer generation of fangames in development are promising a lot and then aren't producing a ton of product due to development issues or whatever.
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I searched it too on their discord server. In short, the project is discontinued due to life being life.
It’s really sad but then again, being able to keep that motivation to push through a project that is non-profit with nothing but love with the series is so commendable. I’m just glad I get to play that small demo of pr. By saying that, it really makes you appreciate games like Reborn more for going through until the end.
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You ever just get the feeling that the world might just not be possible to fix? Like, we're at this point of no return before everything finally collapses in on itself?
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Being a bystander, imo, is basically saying you're okay with what's happening. If you see someone getting beat down or harassed, and your intervention can help them, you should intervene and help them.
Stand together and help your fellow humans. -
Honestly, I feel like for Competitive Pokémon to remain healthy; Game Freak is going to have to do some level of mass stat rebalancing, especially if the next Gen allows the power creep to rise even further.
PU in itself having to exist was bad, but now with ZU being introduced? Yeah, there are fringe cases where non-meta pokémon can do well; Pachirisu I am looking at you; but I really feel like power creep needs to be addressed at this point with something other than Megas and Z-Moves.- Show previous comments 3 more
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Yes, I am fully aware that VGC is the official competitive tier; I am actually incredibly anti-Smogon, always have been. But, my point is; what you're saying should not be the case. Even in VGC, there are only a handful of total viable Pokémon and that is a crime as far as I am concerned.
Why? Because, it stagnates. It gets old, and it gets boring watching and having to use the same handful of Pokémon in competitive play. You cannot have a healthy meta game with a power creep reaping through the roster, that goes for any game. -
I'm no expert about VGC but knowing only that Incineroar is in every team and can cripple everybody's Att and SpeAtt easily prevents me to try that meta. I understand the power creep issue you're talking about. But I don't see it being solved by any means.
That's why Smogon is interesting. No matter what changes you will make, the 200 evolved mons will never be seen at the same time so categories had to be made.
And there are a lot of playable mons. Just look at Smash, 80 characters and 20-30 playable. That's HUGE. Smogon's OU contains 50 pokemons and the meta is still evolving after 2 years even if people wait for Gen 8.
I mean, you had to create tiers to see everyone. It's like a fighting sport. There are weight categories. I would even say it's like soccer. There are leagues. It's the same for Pokemon and maybe every other game.
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I just feel like given the core principles of the series, every Pokémon should be viable in battle situations. I mean, they've preached it since Gen 1; and those core values have been a very big part of my evolution as a person.
And, the power creep could easily be mostly solved by a stat re-balance and ability revisions. That's all it would take. The only other thing that would require an overhaul, might be the Ice and Grass types given how bad their match ups are and how unviable they are overall. Outside of that, maybe a handful of movepool revisions.
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Honestly, it's nice to see Steam have competition. Though, it's interesting to see people complaining about Epic doing the exact same things Steam has been doing for nearly a decade now.
Or, did they all forget the physical copies of games in the mid 2000s requiring Steam to play?
Ultimately, the problem literally boils down to DRM in general; kill DRM, and the need to use launchers and this whole debacle wouldn't even be a thing. -
Vergil should be redeemed, not made in to a shallow villain with the weakest; paper-thin writing possible to keep him as a villain.
It's like he exists for the sole reason of being a back-up bad guy cut of any real development to keep him there. -
I think I am literally the only human that I know who owned a Philips CD-I.
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So, Bungie managed to jump ship with their Activision deal and maintained their rights to the Destiny series. This can only be good news.
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Reminder that Subnautica is still free on the Epic Games store until Dec 27th then Super Meat Boy will follow until January 10th; I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't played it yet.
Minimum Requirements are pretty low, too; even on low settings I'd still say it's a great game.
Minimum Requirements:OS: Windows Vista SP2 or newer, 64-bit
Processor: Intel Haswell 2 cores / 4 threads @ 2.5Ghz or equivalent
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Graphics: Intel HD 4600 or equivalent
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For the first time in seven years, I actually have a normalized sleep schedule. Honestly, I feel a hell of a lot better than I did as a result.
There's also the bonus of having time to do things around the apartment, and listen to my backlog of new music releases. -
So, when did the internet decide feelings are bad?
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And, that implies I am the problem; which is the exact opposite of how it should be handled. And, it isn't just online sites and communities. It's online games and such as well, so should I or others stop doing what they enjoy because of toxicity? It's just short of, if not outright victim blaming.
And, as shocking as it may seem; there are people who say these things and aren't trolling. This whole, people being outright rude and harsh thing being generalized as trolling is a bad standard and precedent.
But, as I said, I am not arguing this because it is a waste of energy. -
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So, Pokémon on the Switch is a massive disappointment. Guess they still haven't gotten the point.
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It's a good feeling to feel like you have your life together for once. You know, it's like this heavy weight I've carried for years is just... Gone. I have people in my life who accept me for who I am now, and things are relatively stable. I don't have to hide anymore, and honestly that's one of the best feelings ever.
