Now that I've thoroughly been exposed, I suppose I should give the whole purpose of the work in some sort of organized detail.
- I don't usually write flash fiction, and it's been a considerable amount of time (years) since I've illustrated any kind of fiction work at all. This work was also not put through the typical writing process, and I was absolutely not equipped with any sort of plan. I woke up, and regurgitated the words as they hit my brain. I wasn't expecting a work that made much sense at all, and when I finished it, I was satisfied not with my output, but with the scenario having some semblence of story quality. If I were to pay 100 percent more attention to detail, plan beforehand, and check the progression of my story multiple times, I -know- I can do better.
- Nona is a character that I intentionally decided to remain "distant". Ame, after reading and re-reading several of your points, I get the feeling that I did so in a manner that wasn't satisfying from a reader's perspective, and as a writer, I can assure you that many things about the story -at this point- are not up to snuff on my own end, but it seems you as a reader expected this story to make some sort of progress - in the form of character development. This largely didn't occur because I didn't want Nona to change. I can definitely see a reader being disappointed if they hold that expectation. I was going for sheer suspense, I ended on the pointed phrase "Touche..." not because I wanted her to show a little bit of her personality, but because it felt like the perfect cliffhanger to me. There were several other things that made the story hard to follow in your case, and that certainly detracts from the effect of a sudden ending with no resolution, because I didn't do a good job of throwing the reader a bone beforehand. I just don't think I had to make Nona into an epic hero or give her character a climax or pivot in the process, as well as I really didn't want to, regardless of it helping the work as a whole.
- GotWala, I think you may have read a little too much into it, as opposed to Ame struggling to understand it much at all. There wasn't a moral to the story. I just woke up and threw whatever was on my heart on the page. Don't be afraid to lay any qualms on me either, but thank you for your praise.