I don't know how you get that feeling of dread and shame, but I do know the rest of those feelings. Being weird makes you sometimes wish to be normal...
http://memecrunch.com/meme/2UMAZ/let-it-go
I'm curious, does it also happen to you that you're really angry at someone, imagining yourself being an ass towards that person when you're going to that person, and when you finally talk to them, you just respond calm and collected? Or is it just me?