Yeah your little buddies there are wrong. The people who cry for social justice against these jokes aren't the only people who have a problem with this. Anyone who doesn't have the strength emotionally to put up with jokes directed towards their race, gender, sexual orientation, etc., are going to be hurt, and it's a shame no one realize that. Not to say that they don't have the right to make these jokes. If you make them amongst a group of friends who knows you mean no harm in your words, then I see that as acceptable because it's out of earshot of anyone who could be offended, and everyone knows the lack of ill-will.
Maybe it's because we don't talk much, but I never actually knew you were gay. That's a pretty neat fact. It's unfortunate that your understandable fear of acceptance has kept you from being as open as you might want about it, but I commend you for surviving the tough times and coming out with perhaps a few battle scars, but no fatal wounds. If you need anyone to talk to who's undergone a similar experience, and perhaps you want some advice or something, don't be afraid to shoot me a message.