That's...a lot. Thanks for sharing, this reminds me that I should be more grateful for my parents. (Feel free to negate the 'advice' below, you might not long for that, nor is it accustomed to your specific situation. If you're out of ideas or without motivation, maybe you could ask your friend if she has an idea of something to do? Doesn't have to be something big, maybe even best something small. Perhaps you find something that sparkles your interest. Or you could try to pick up choir or something related in some sense?) Nevertheless, thanks for making it through another day, man. I hope things eventually turn out well for you.