Hi Evi, while I mostly ignore this part of the forum, this post got my attention, mostly because it was fundamented and well written, so yeah, here's my honest (that's yours to believe, I came to myself some years ago that lying about some stuff is not worth it, even more in a place like the internet where few people if no one knows you, and while sometimes you can't understand the person fully, by being honest at least you get your points across). Also, well, I like somewhat to get in other people life somehow, because my life is quite boring now, so if my post sounds rude or something, I'm sorry, honestly.
About being dissapointed by the society for the US elections, well, I'm not american (at least, not american in the english way, I'm from the continent America, but not from the US), so I don't fully know how bad will be Trump or Pence in the White House, but I will say this, we are WAY past the worst time of our humanitiy, back in the time you could have been killed or worse by just not having the same religion as the majority (good term, I'll use this often), today luckily for us (you, in this particular case) we as humans are way more open to individuality an less to, well, being common and the good of the family (or stuff like that).
In my case, while I'm a heterosexual male (and I'm just as human as the other 7 billion or so living in this piece of rock), it turned that 2 of my best friends, those who are with you since you're quite young, are gay, or well, told us they are gay in their mid teens, which was quite the scenario as we went to a Catholic School, so do quite understand the struggle of the LGBT communitiy not being, well, normal as some people would call it.
I'm getting out of focus, no, the majority didn't reject you, well, some people probably did (homophobia and not being normal will always have some individuals that rejects it, like some people rejects religion, some ethnic groups, you get the idea), but in this case as an outsider of the US political world most of trump speech and the reason he won was not his anti-LGBT communitiy slogan, but he was an outsider of the current US political scenario, he had the balls to tell everyone what he though and didn't care about repercusions and his rival was Hillary Clinton who was the continuation of Obama, but without his charisma. People probably choose Trump for about the same reasons they chose Reagan quite some years ago.
And about your second point, your life, as a person that at least conciously lost the fear of death (I understand that death is something nomal that will come sooner or later, and you can't just avoid it) I decided to live my live to the fullest possible so when my time comes, I have the least possible of things that I wanted to do but I couldn't, but I know I couldn't jut end my life, first because I have no interest in ending it and I want to know how far I can get, and second because when the time comes, something deeper, and instic of survival that we all have because we are animals will kick in and make me hold on my last second to prolong them, so if you could at least tried to end yourself, then I must admit you have at least more guts than me. In the end I won't say don't take your life, because that's your choice and yours alone, but I will say at least try to get to everyone that you care or cares about you and get your points straight, the pain is worse if they don't see it coming, so while you prepare your final decision make that the last image they have from you is a good one (and if you decide to stay and fight, well, they will have a better image of yourself, which is never bad).