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Absol-lutelty awesome!

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Everything posted by Absol-lutelty awesome!

  1. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Am I this sneaky? Not a single guess for me huh? Andise- I mean anstane!
  2. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Cheeki breeki Iv Damke Lugruf get over here STALKER and stop being future version of me
  3. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Today I learned that having anything that can be used as a restraint near a girl that likes you is about as intelligent as leaving a loaded handgun next to a criminal who really wants your wallet. Help.
  4. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    WARNING to all guys with yandere girlfriends, don't drink anything they give you, I woke up somewhere different a while later!

    1. InnocentSerenity

      InnocentSerenity

      No trust in your Yanderes. So mean.

    2. Absol-lutelty awesome!

      Absol-lutelty awesome!

      -,- ok well maybe I'll drink anything but the tea she gives me

    3. CCYami

      CCYami

      Wait, so waking up chained to your bed with broken legs is NOT normal in a relationship?!

  5. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Name: Jake (don't call me Jakey or else) Age: 15 -,- Birthday: 4th of December Location: dat Texas Height: 6 ft Hair Color: dirty blonde Eye Color: gray-blue Live With: family Pets?: too many Relationships?: yandere girlfriend Crushes lately?: what's a crush? Dream Job: mechanical engineering and gunsmithing Currently Playing: Cheeki breeki Favourite Food: any form of red meat. Favourite Drink: anything that tastes good with red meat. Favourite Color: I have been waging war on this topic in my mind for years, either blue or gray. Favourite kind of Music: eithe
  6. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    *playing le STALKER: MISERY. *taking le soft stroll in wilderness, Mosin on back. *HAS HEART ATTACK AS BLOODSUCKER RIPS MY THROAT OUT FROM BEHIND

  7. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    *waiting for butterfly knife to arrive intensifies* I wonder if the company will just send my money back because they don't trust me with it

  8. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    This is why. Oh, and yes, that is my friend playing a dang musical in the background.
  9. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    After my experience I've had with balisongs/butterfly knives, I responsibly conclude that all underage children and teens should be allowed to have one, too much fun.

  10. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Hey, calling me a spine is absolutely correct, I am an obnoxious pain in people's sides. ... But for real, spine cmon I can't be angry all by myself.
  11. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    "I'd love to hear governor pence tell me what's so enjoyable, or comical, about nuclear war" easy, American and Russian soldiers not giving two shits about the war and squatting down to drink alcohol with metal and hardbass blaring in their ears while the Russians shout "cyka blyat"

  12. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    -.- alright guys I'm surprised you didn't notice the giant shadowy ball of negativity that is myself coming from a mile back Morshu my man get over here
  13. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Too many bright fields for me, I would totally go for a dark type field along these lines. Absol's obnoxiously negative attitude floods the field... Wait a second I can't see sh*t. Hey, Absol you jerk turn the light back on! *sigh* can't even see what attack I'm picking... Dang it i just threw a pokeball by accident. Don't worry guys I've got th- "Dark type moves do like way more damage, fairies suck GG" "You can't actually see your choices and panels, only the two Pokémon's health bars" "You get to have Absol's obnoxious attitude all over your screen" Ame please add +1 positivity
  14. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    Ah, the aftermath of the VP debate. The "to be invisible-men" debate! They tell ghost stories all the time at my dad's political science class about them!

  15. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    Is it just me, or does it take an entire makeup kit to make Hillary look like a human being, and an entire iceberg to keep trump from ripping her in half with the amount of leaks linked to her corruption?

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Neo

      Neo

      Yo man, what a well thought out comment. Gold star for you, fam.

    3. Takosher

      Takosher

      A poor appearance is associated with poor physical health and it's hard to hold respect when your health is poor

      But honestly if I didn't know her health was suspect, I wouldn't have guessed it from her appearance. Woman look perfectly fine to me

    4. Swimming95

      Swimming95

      I mean her health isn't suspect unless you believe in conspiracy theories... And I guess if you ignore all of the facts you might think Clinton is a criminal.

    5. Show next comments  3 more
  16. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    IV DAMKE Oh wait that's not ok around here right Bluemoonicecream is next because I can see said person reading
  17. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    So trump promised to remove kebab

    1. Maelstrom

      Maelstrom

      He's going to remove grilled food on a stick? What?

  18. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    Today, I somehow managed to break a carbon fiber fishing rod by yanking to get unstuck from a rock... I'm either strong as hell, or that rod needs return due to a defect

    1. Sparky

      Sparky

      Maybe you're secretly the Hulk

    2. Ironbound

      Ironbound

      Or maybe it's just physics. Levers are magical.

  19. Absol-lutelty awesome!
    Tfw the last bit of your gift you once had has slipped away, down a long winding river of mainstream mind numbing that in the end will surely result in the waterfall that will swiftly crush your dreams with cruel, and unfeeling haste. Tfw I seriously don't know what the hell I just said. No wonder I was "most negative in class 2014-15 year"
  20. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    I can't shake the feeling that my reluctance to grind on random wild Pokemon is gonna ga-bite me soon...

    1. PBX5

      PBX5

      .....that pun tho....

    2. Skullkin

      Skullkin

      lol

  21. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    You know, I see now that brave bird Pidgey is about as terrifying as walking into a wall in the dark, you never see it coming, and you feel like an idiot for running into it so hard

  22. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    That moment when the pokeball drops, and you just watch it wiggle. Wiggle. Wiggle. *STRESS INTENSIFIES

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Ironbound

      Ironbound

      Yep. Plus its catch rate is literally 3. I'm fairly sure that's the lowest of the low.

    3. BlueMoonIceCream

      BlueMoonIceCream

      Yeah 3's lowest. I think I'm immune to it now though but crit captures still get me though

    4. Lugruf

      Lugruf

      Shedinja with False swipe for Beldum. And well, pray to RNGesus

    5. Show next comments  3 more
  23. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    When you main greninja but you end up getting pissed and playing charizard in frustration

  24. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    tfw you're getting bored in super training but know you have such a long way to go

    1. grasssnake485

      grasssnake485

      Do horde training! You get 25 evs per horde, but it doesn't come in 4's so you still have to mess around with wings and super training

  25. Absol-lutelty awesome!

    Tfw finished taking the long way because you didn't see the shortcut at first *bangs head on table

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