Bearadactyl Prime
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(I am unsure if this should go here, given it's technically somewhat of an essay/rant type deal; or if it should just be in misc. If it needs to be moved, please do move it; it feels like a grey area where it should go to me.) Hello, I'm Bearadactyl/Bear; though my real name is Alex. And, I am on the autism spectrum (ASD.) Now, I've had to think pretty long and hard to decide how exactly I should structure/word this post or if I should even make it at all; and I'm hoping that providing anonymous quotes doesn't violate any forum rules, I'm already scared to death that speaking o
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For all of those wondering, Halo: Reach on PC is amazing. Buttery smooth 60fps, motion blur removed, and M+KB controls are fantastic and responsive.
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Minor bugs V12
Bearadactyl Prime replied to Zumi's topic in Official Rejuvenation Club's Troubleshooting
Erin and a few Bladestar grunts seem to disappear when walking on certain tiles in Darchlight Cave, it doesn't break anything; but it did cause mild panic when I saw it. See the video below for bug demonstration. -
Is it wrong of me to consider just... Dropping a friend because they're too emotionally exhausting for me to handle?
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I hate being in the middle of a miscommunication-fest, and being the wall for three different people involved.
I really don't know how much longer I can just... Keep holding up their burdens and trying to fix it before I crack myself. -
Anger is a natural, human emotion; and I am so tired of the stigma toward it.
Get mad online? Get ridiculed. Get mad in public? Get ridiculed. Get mad about anything, from small to large, you get ridiculed and either made fun of or told to calm down.
It's even worse when it's a situation that you have every right to be angry over. Me? I get mad when "gay," "faggot," "retard/ed," "autistic," "tranny," "trap," or anything similar is used as an insult.
MY EXISTENCE IS NOT AN INSULT, AND MY EXISTENCE IS NOT A PUNCHLINE.
People are allowed to get angry. And, if it gets to the point of me or someone yelling at you because you won't stop? Me being angry does not put me in the wrong. YOU are in the wrong for saying the things you did in the first place.
And, all of this gets so much worse when it's over the internet. Then you get all of the snide, snarky trolls who can and will say whatever they want and press to offend or upset you because they know they have no consequences. Then, they bully and ridicule you for getting mad.
I am so tired of this. I am so tired of having to repress my emotions, and I am even more tired of being ridiculed when I finally decide enough is enough. -
TW: Suicide Mention;
So, a few years back; I had kind of hit this point of absolute rock bottom; I made a post about it here and my overall state after a particularly bad moment, not sure if anyone here totally remembers it or if most who were around when I posted it are still even here.
But, in the post I mentioned where I had gotten to a point where I was ready to take my own life; I had climbed up to the top of a parking garage to jump off but wound up not going through with it.
Today, I revisited that spot for the first time since. I did it with my current love interest; mostly because she wanted to take pictures from the top of the parking garage, the view is actually beautiful. But, getting to the point; on the exact point that I stood the night I wanted to just jump and end it all, someone had carved in to the concrete "Don't Jump."
And, I really don't know how to take it. Or, what to feel. I don't know if it was in response to a stranger who saw me that night, or what. But, I have this heavy feeling from it now. It's not a bad feeling, part of me wants to just believe that even some stranger out there cares about a random person hitting rock bottom like that. And, if that's the case, I wish I could find and thank that person.
I'm in a much better place now, and if anyone wants to ask, yes I'm okay. I'm more okay than I've ever been to be honest.
It's hard to believe I was ever at that point now; between the abuse of my family, the abusive relationship I was in at the time, and just so many more compounding factors from struggling with my own identity and who I am to no one wanting to actually listen or care about what I wanted; the trauma is still there, but now I'm with people who accept and love me for who I am. Both my love interest, and my new friends. And, I really can't believe the difference it makes just having people willing to let me be who I am and still care about me in the end.
I kind of feel like I'm just typing this for typing's sake at this point, but, I needed to let it out somewhere.-
l do remember actually... l was under a different name at that point though. l used ta be known as Hukuna if that sparks any memories, if not no worries~
The reason why's not a story that needs ta be told here however.
l certainly did and each and every time l saw ya again l was happy ta see ya, happy ta know that at very least you fought through another day. l don't truly deal that well with this subject... it hits a bit close ta home for me and with folks l don't know well it feels hard to find the words. But, l'm glad that person put those words there even if you only saw them so much later... even if they weren't truly for you and perhaps another.
Further, l'm glad a memory other than the first can exist in that place for you now. One that tells a much different story, and that you found such a thing on the return.~
and lastly, l'm happy you could post this.
l'm perhaps just some stranger on the internet but... it genuinely fills me with happiness whenever l hear of another like myself who found whatever way they could to climb out of that place. Of another soul that found their way to keep on living~
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My only request for Sword and Shield is to finally get some kind of Poison Legendary or Mythical Pokémon. Game Freak, please, even the types that came after it have them. I am begging you.
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I really hate it when a friend thinks you can just... Train a neurological disorder away.
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Dynamax seems... Weird. Like a universal, temporary Mega evolution. I mean, it might be one way too help the power creep; but we still need a total stat overhaul of basically every Pokémon.
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Favourite Pokémon ! GO !
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From what I can gather based on the Discord, Phoenix Rising is more or less officially dead.
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I did a little bit of looking around, at least on the subreddit, and it seems like quite a few devs have left, and in general development has been slow? IDK if it's dead, but it is sort of 'limping along' it seems. Seems like a lot of these newer generation of fangames in development are promising a lot and then aren't producing a ton of product due to development issues or whatever.
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I searched it too on their discord server. In short, the project is discontinued due to life being life.
It’s really sad but then again, being able to keep that motivation to push through a project that is non-profit with nothing but love with the series is so commendable. I’m just glad I get to play that small demo of pr. By saying that, it really makes you appreciate games like Reborn more for going through until the end.
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, i hope that you will have a great day 
