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Mysterious Fox Assassin

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About Mysterious Fox Assassin

  • Rank
    Principality

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  • Alias
    Riku Sakuraba
  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Purgatory

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  1. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    The Detachment of Riku Sakuraba

    Greetings Reborn community, As you may have judged by the title, I'm not getting much better as time passes by. It's been a fluctuating ebb and flow of emotions, but now, I just feel nothing anymore...Here's why. My current family situation is still a living hell. Granted, it's not at its worst possible stage, and I'm grateful it isn't, but nonetheless, I would prefer it to be over already. I don't exactly have the luxury to go my own dark way as pleasing as it may sound. When the person who manipulated you and practically lied their way into your heart still lives in the house with you, it's hard to settle down in a place that you're supposed to feel the safest. The worst part is my siblings have fallen into the trap, and as much as I disapprove of their...naive and childish ways, they don't understand that he's doing the same that he did to me for my 16 years of living on this earth. I want it to be over, but things never work out in the way that they should, and so I'm slowly detaching myself from the people who call themselves my family. (My mother is the only one whom I can put my trust in as of now.) Three words: Social anxiety disorder aka SAD, which describes me to a T. I've had it (or would it be better to say developed it?) since middle school. I've lost my voice and openness towards society as I was not only being lied to at home but also the people whom I valued as close friends only took advantage of my kindness. Since the slew of bullying incidences, I've dealt with being alone. Fast forwarding a few years, I've grown used to being alone and being my own best friend because all my past experiences with friends have been short-lived or a lie. Even now, I don't fully trust the friendships I make because they never last. Believe me when I say that they never last for a long time. Because of my SAD, I'm constantly pushing my mental bounds wondering where I went wrong with a person starts replying to texts differently or the tone in their voice changes a bit. It's caused me great pain, which is why I am slowly detaching my feelings from relationships. It's more of a protective measure because I know how I will be if I get too attached or too close to someone. Finally, my existence. While I have my existential crises on a daily basis, it makes me wonder what am I actually here for. Sure, I may dream of becoming someone in the influential law profession, but what gives me the hope that I'll actually get that far? I've come to terms that I'm only here to serve that purpose and that's it. Once I do my deeds and try to implement what I want to implement, I'll be purposeless again. I don't plan on getting married at all (because I'm aroace), so that's out of the question. The idea of living with a significant other for so long seems like something out of fantasy; once those passionate emotions of love sour, what are you left with? Pain, sorrow, regret...need I say more? I've detached myself from the idea of marriage or trying to exist beyond the goal I set for myself or whoever put this goal in me. As you can see, a pattern is forming. I'm slowly detaching, and the more I do, the less human I seem to become. I'm aware that trying to hide away my emotions and pretend they aren't there will mentally destroy me, but it doesn't seem like I have any other choice. I rather not go to a therapist where they tell me the things I want to hear and be labeled as "mentally unstable" even if that is what I consider myself. I also rather not talk about my problems to others because they have it worse especially since I've had so much given to me. (No, I'm not rich or born into riches.) In writing, I must etch my sorrows because my voice is gone, my soul dims as time passes on, and my heartbeat is inaudible through the armor and wintery cold I've subjected it to. I'm not sure how I'll get out of this one; I'm convinced that I'll never show my emotions ever again because I've hidden them for so long and detached myself from to the point where I can't even shed tears of sadness anymore. I just lay there lifeless as I internalize it and in turn, it brings me physical pain. I walk a lonesome path, but one could argue that I chose(or doomed) myself into doing so. I push everyone away for fear of hurting them, them hurting me, and me hurting myself by getting too close, so in order to cope and keep myself drowning into the depths of my despair, I have to detach. It's the only thing I know how to do because everything else I tried didn't work. Sorry for bothering all of y'all with my personal dilemmas, but it is unbearable to keep this stuff in. I'll leave it at this for now, and I'll end with a paraphrase from one of the Reborn gym leaders that sums up what I feel... "I'll see you all in a meaningless tomorrow, wearing another false smile."
  2. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Meet the vets!

    General Information: Name: Riku Sakuraba/Alcantara Age: 18 (but I'm an old soul) Gender: Male Birthday: 01/11/2000 Location: Earth (The US) Height: 6'2/3ish (I'm still growing...) Hair color: Originally black, but fluctuates between a darker shade of blonde Eye Color: Light Brown Lives: (With my other self) Parent and siblings Pets: Dog (but it's technically my sister's, not mine) Relationship status: Single (Aroace) Favorite Food: I'm not picky. So long as it's edible and doesn't bite back, I will eat it. Favorite Drink: Green tea Favorite Color: Primarily black, but I also like dark shades of blue, red, and grey. Favorite Music: I'm well rounded with a multitude of genres. Music with a message or a mood to it really satisfies me though. Favorite Band: Probably none (unless P!ATD is one, but I'm not sure so...) Favorite Album: I don't have one. Favorite Song: Currently, it's Kamex's Remix of Run Away from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. It ties with Kamex's Never Alone: Cutscene Medley. Favorite Game: Blue Dragon for console games; Pokemon Reborn, Rejuvenation, and Desolation, and Final Fantasy games I can get my hands on. Favorite Genre of Games: RPGs Hobbies: Sitting in solitude pondering life's questions; when not doing that, I like doing art, cooking, writing stories and poetry, and sleeping. Favorite Movies: Bleach: Fade to Black Favorite Shows: Bleach and Tokyo Ghoul are at the top of the list. So who am I? I'm an observer of sorts. I don't really have much presence here on the Reborn community as a whole. I'm the guy you see on the Discord asking for what monotype runs to do; I love a good challenge to games that are already challenging. I joined Reborn when E15 was out, but I got more into it as the episodes came. Other than that, I'm just your average guy who talks in cryptic messages with hidden meanings. What am I responsible for? As far as responsibilities are concerned, I have none. I sometimes post responses in the R&R threads, but that's not really a responsibility of mine. What can I talk to you about? Anything within reason. Whether it deals with personal life or not, I don't mind. You can come to me about anything that troubles you. Granted, I am young, but I have been around a lot of insightful people, so I will try and help as best as I can. In real life, people often compliment me on my ability to be so kind, understanding, and helpful. (I don't take compliments very well because I feel like I'm tricking y'all into believing in someone who isn't there.) I'll field your questions if you have any, but I do sometimes slip into cryptic messages and hidden meanings so it may not always be as clear as one may think. (I'm working on that, I'm sorry.) Closing Statements? I didn't think I'd get this far, but here I am. Joking aside, it's very nice to meet you all, and I hope that we can meet and chat sometime whether to be about personal issues to competitive Pokemon (Monotype is my forte, sort of.) I should mention that I do tend to disappear off forums at times, but nonetheless, you can always find me on Discord. Farewell, and may you carve your own path in the darkness.
  3. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Mythos League S2 Reveals

    So far, it's a battle between an icy edgelord and the robot who got through Iron Chef Jr. This'll be fun.
  4. "I will not wish you that the light guides your way for even light leads those astray. Instead, carve your own path in the darkness for your heart knows where the mind needs to go." Riku Sakuraba

  5. Dear Naoto, First and foremost, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my condolences. When you meet someone who you relate with on a spiritual level and then death comes to take them, I can only imagine that it's so hard to recover from that. This is a grieving period for you; you shouldn't expect to bounce back up so quickly after losing someone so close to your heart. It's unfortunate that no one can understand the pain you feel; it makes you feel so alone in the world, but do not lose heart. As long as you keep him in your heart, he never really dies. He lives on through you. Again, give yourself time to grieve no matter how long it may take, and don't be afraid to reach out to the family if you ever need to. Again, you have my sincerest apologies, but know that all hope is not lost and that you're not alone, though it may feel like it at times. You're part of a diverse community, and I will personally offer you as much support as I possibly can. I'm still young, but losing someone that close is something that I always fear. Nevertheless, give yourself as much time as you need and most importantly, take care of yourself. ~Riku Sakuraba
  6. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Mythos S2 Sign Up Thread

    Well, might as well go with the gusto on this one. Let's see how long this lasts me...
  7. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Mythos League: Season Two

    It's time for Riku Sakuraba to try this challenge again.
  8. Hajimemashite. Boku wa Mitsuru desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu. 

    1. Takosher

      Takosher

      はじめまして、レクシです。よろしくお願いします

    2. Mysterious Fox Assassin
  9. I'm waiting for the rain.

    1. DreamblitzX

      DreamblitzX

      We're all waiting for Ame

  10. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    PokéNations 3 Signup thread

    Forum Name: Mysterious Fox Assassin Showdown Alt(s): Usually Riku Sakuraba, but it's usually something edgy if it's not the one mentioned previously Discord: Riku Sakuraba #3632 Availability: EST (Open for anything unless I'm on nocturnal schedule, but I can adjust my sleep schedule as needed.) Favorite Types: Dark, Ice, Ghost Least Favorite Types: Fairy, Rock, Normal Last 4 digits of credit card: haha
  11. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    The Legend of Riku Sakuraba: Prologue

    Hello everyone, I'm writing a "light" (hopefully) novel that showcases an anti-hero trying to find himself. I won't say much more than that since I'd rather let the story speak for itself. >_> Without further ado, here is the prologue to this story. Hope you all enjoy it! ~MFA aka Sakuraba
  12. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    [OOC] Trespassers of the Multiverse: Director's Cut

    I'm going to try this out. I'm sorry. I'm new to this. >_<
  13. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Ideas for an Anti-hero Sprite

    I like these. How should his posture be? His character is more emotionless, so I don't want to use an energetic kind of pose. Something along the lines of a look of pity on his face would work. Thanks, Wolfox.
  14. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    Ideas for an Anti-hero Sprite

    Hello creative masters of Reborn, I'm having a problem. The sort of problem that others can help with. Y'see, I'm attempting to make an anti-hero protag. He's sort of a lawful evil/chaotic good character. However, I don't really know of a base where I could build upon. Could I implore some of you to throw me some suggestions? I'll try multiple to see which fits the bill. That'd help me a lot. Thanks again. ~Luciano
  15. Mysterious Fox Assassin

    I'm indecisive. Yay. Help me please.

    Hello diligent artist and persons crafty of mind, Remember when I did the old sprite for my MC/OC Akihito? You know, this one? Yeah, well, I may or may not scrap this. In truth, I want to keep him, but at the same time, I feel as if this isn't dark enough. Would you crafty-minded people help me decide on which character to make into the dark character? Here is the other one for reference sake... Thank you all in advance and I hope I can come to a conclusion soon, so that I can input a vs sprite and work on the first gym leader. Thank you!
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