Alistair Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 There is probably a similar topic that already exists somewhere, but I didn't find anything recent, so here we go! Please post your mightiest puns here! Because aint nothin like a good ole pun to brighten your day, amirite? I'll start: What is Rowan Atkinson's favorite move? Solar Bean!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tartar Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Alistair scores a the deciding goal in a match, he becomes an All-Star! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pluto Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 (edited) that joke was trubbish, you should feel ABSOLutely terrible (i am sorry) Edited October 25, 2016 by Pluto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BreezyPonie Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 What do you do with a sad arsonist? CHAR him up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laggless01 Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Which guy always guesses right?One Hunch Man.Yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notus Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Wait until Ame discovers this thread. Then you`ll know what true despair is like. Her puns are really aMewsing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lugruf Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HughJ Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) saw man of steel in theaters at one point superman cuts a steel girder in half with his laser vision I said "hey, eye beams" Edited October 26, 2016 by HughJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 "Show me your best puns", he says. So you're asking me to post my entire life here. It won't fit. Also, there is a science behind puns. Unlike memes, which do not usually involve direct application of thought, and which can therefore be regurgitated in any context (or rather, out of all context), puns are alive. A pun has its own time and place to shine in, it is like a flower, exquisite in its radiance, a thing impermanent and for that reason all the more amazing. A pun, like a flower, if removed from the context on which it fleetingly blossoms, withers and loses charm. I cannot show you my best puns here, I cannot pluck them away from their own unique contextual wit. To experience the full beauty of puns, one must be there at the time when they are made, and one must know and appreciate the circumstances which gave it birth. To post puns here, out of their habitat and pressed into a dry list, would be like showing someone a pickled hummingbird in a jar and attempting to have them understand the beauty and grace it would have shown when it was alive and fluttering. A thread like this may do for posting 'top memes' or something, since memes are never so sophisticated or applicative, and have no contextual beauty (rather by nature a meme is something that can be spammed any time and anyhow) but for puns, it is but a compromise, a secondhand knowledge, and a robbery of the thing's true beauty. No, I say, come with me, journey with me, and I shall show you the true beauty of puns, as they are made and before they fade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 Alistair scores a the deciding goal in a match, he becomes an All-Star! Awww yiss, that's SOOO me! "Show me your best puns", he says. So you're asking me to post my entire life here. It won't fit. Also, there is a science behind puns. Unlike memes, which do not usually involve direct application of thought, and which can therefore be regurgitated in any context (or rather, out of all context), puns are alive. A pun has its own time and place to shine in, it is like a flower, exquisite in its radiance, a thing impermanent and for that reason all the more amazing. A pun, like a flower, if removed from the context on which it fleetingly blossoms, withers and loses charm. I cannot show you my best puns here, I cannot pluck them away from their own unique contextual wit. To experience the full beauty of puns, one must be there at the time when they are made, and one must know and appreciate the circumstances which gave it birth. To post puns here, out of their habitat and pressed into a dry list, would be like showing someone a pickled hummingbird in a jar and attempting to have them understand the beauty and grace it would have shown when it was alive and fluttering. A thread like this may do for posting 'top memes' or something, since memes are never so sophisticated or applicative, and have no contextual beauty (rather by nature a meme is something that can be spammed any time and anyhow) but for puns, it is but a compromise, a secondhand knowledge, and a robbery of the thing's true beauty. No, I say, come with me, journey with me, and I shall show you the true beauty of puns, as they are made and before they fade. kay Also What does mother Marowak say to baby Cubone in a fight? "Put more backBONE into it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Oh, you're hopeless. What do you deserve for this base treachery? A sound PUNishment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 Yeeaaaah, that's the spirit ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josef Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Want to hear a construction joke? Im working on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eldon Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 I was hungry with nothing to eat, so I roosted my Talonflame in my oven. Oooooh guys, you may want to double check that. It's a pun that actually makes grammatical sense! You don't see that often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Dark humour? Sure, gibbet a shot. We'll have something to put our heads together on as we hang around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickCrash Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Dark humour Viri is just like food. Not everyone gets it. But since puns are the topic, here is a quiz. What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 (edited) Dark humour Viri is just like food. Not everyone gets it. Dark humour is 100% accepted and approved for this thread tho (an offensive pun was edited out of this post after Viri advised me to delete it. Dunno how serious he was about that but I'm not taking any risks ) Edited October 27, 2016 by Alistair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickCrash Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Appreciated. If you don't mind, I'll leave for a bit. I have to make Holy Water. How, you ask? But by boiling the Hell out of it of course!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 And yeah Alistair that one was definitely way overboard. It's just terrible taste. I advise you remove it quickly. Anyways, leaf me alone now. I'm bushed, and I wood just as lief shoot off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grizzlybrand Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 So one night i get home from a late shift at work and I'm super hungry, and loving me some good noodles i wanted to have some ramen. I went into the kitchen and gathered all the ingredients, I got my broth, eggs, noodles and toppings but i realized I was missing something, the miso paste. I was souper sad that i miso'd out on that crucial flavor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laggless01 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 And yeah Alistair that one was definitely way overboard. It's just terrible taste. I advise you remove it quickly. I had an awfully dark one in mind, but seeing this I'll keep it to myself. Instead, have a PG-one: What is useless and wears chainmail? A Magiklarp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 What does a Delibird say when it hands out Presents? Ho-Oh-oh! Merry thanksgiving Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 Why should you never take Hitmonlee to KFC? Cuz he would kick the bucket! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironbound Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 No, that pun works better with a Blaziken. He'd really be kicking the bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair Posted October 28, 2016 Author Share Posted October 28, 2016 No, that pun works better with a Blaziken. He'd really be kicking the bucket. Well he sure would end up literally in the bucket, but I picked Hitmonlee because he is the most emblematic "kicking" pokémon in my opinion. Point's the same anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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