If civies heard the conversations I've had with co-workers, it would be bad. I'm pretty sure that commitments to mental health hospitals would be flying fast and furious.
If you try to be "normal," with the sense of humor, the strain would be to much. Just the fact that you have to remain somewhat calm after witnessing deaths, you can't hold it in being what the perception of healthcare workers is and not be affected.
I remember them all. And it still affects me when a patient dies on my call. Nothing, even going through it before, can really prepare you for it.