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What does Ame think of you?


Amethyst

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>Reply to 25 quoted posts

goodness, you guys.

Okay, well, disclaimer: I know myself, and I know what I'm going to do. I haven't even started writing yet, but I know that the first few are going to be really lengthy and then the replies are just gradually going to decrease in length because that's the fool I am and that's the fool I've been.

I think your main problem is clear in your post itself. You're asking for negative things? Why would you ever? Now I can understand the value of this in some respects. You're hoping to hear something nice, but you don't really want to hope for it, so you're expecting and predicting something negative that way when I inevitably do something good you're pleasantly surprised rather than let down should I happen to choose not to.

I get that.

But I don't agree.

Basically, you're trying to avoid the pain of disappointment, right? But your method of doing so is by inflicting that pain on yourself first. So... assuming that I am going to disappoint you, either way you feel that pain. But what if I don't? Then you've hurt yourself for nothing. If you assume disappointment you lose 100% of the time. If you don't, then at least there's a chance.

So what I think about you is that on the whole you're too pessimistic. You're very mature for your age, but that comes with the price of recognizing the faults of your peers. It's exceedingly difficult to keep a positive attitude about people when you're the only one who seems to be aware of their problems. It's infuriating, really, isn't it? But I think that's your challenge.

And I think you can do it. Why?

Because you've been around here for quite a long time I've seen many of your ups and your downs. I've seen you go from near-keyboard-slamming rage to feeling on top of the world. Actually, I've been proud to have taken you on part of that journey. So I've seen you at times when you're full of confidence- when you know who you are, where you stand, and what you can do. There are times when you have one of the best attitudes on this site. You're engaged, you're positive, you're in the story, even though you know it's just a story, that doesn't seem to stop you from enjoying it and its characters. You're alive and confident.

It makes me sad to see you lose that strength to negativity. But I know that's not a fate you're bound to. I think if you set your mind to it, even despite all the difficult things in your life lately, which I am really sorry for, by the way- you can rise above the derision of the ignorant and the unaware and become the better, positive, happier person yourself.

You make me giggle. A lot.

More than should actually be acceptable, really.

Like I don't know if you're actually genuinely really witty and humorous or if it's just me, but like every other thing from you just makes me smile if not actually laugh.

So there's that.

I'm confused as to why you aren't more socially affluent. Obviously you're a really nice person. I know Kitty used to rely on you a lot. Obviously you're really intelligent- do you ever write, by the way? I would like to see you write things beyond minecraft confessions. My first guess would be physical insecurity. I know you posted a picture commenting on your neckbeard once. I probably wouldn't have noticed had you not mentioned it. But um, that can be shaved, so I don't see why that's such a problem? XD Besides, it looks fine in like every other picture. Is it your hair? This may be me projecting because I had a very similar kind of hair to you. I was horribly insecure about it. I forget if you said that yours bothers you but I guess it doesn't matter if it's your hair's texture, color, your skin tone, whatever- I don't know. In the end, it's all the same. I personally would consider it a huge loss if you let something as trivial as a physical trait stop you from interacting with people.

I don't know you nearly well enough to comment on my subjective view of your emotionality like the others. Why is that, I have to ask? You've been around for how long... hasn't it been almost since the start of the year? I've gotten to know other people in that time.

I think the reason I don't know you better is because you keep yourself veiled behind a curtain of your confidence- which is certainly justified, to be sure. I remember facing you for the first time in one of our themed tournaments and being very surprised, "Woah, he's good." I know you're pretty personable too, in spite of that, so I'm very glad you don't let your reputation get in the way of interacting with people kindly. But I think what makes it difficult for me, personally, to see you, is actually your clan pride.

Now I don't really have anything against clans, or pride, or being enthusiastic about those things. I think that's all great. But sometimes I feel like I'm losing you in favor of your group. ADFOX isn't always the most polite person, and Discomad is... eh... well, nevermind. But most of you tend to parade about the same 'P4P!' and 'brosnan!' business which

I'm not gonna lie

It kind of just makes me see the lot of you guys as like, frat boys when you do that. That's erm, not something I personally appreciate. Especially since I hold you personally in a much higher regard than that, it's a little disappointing to me when I do start to see it that way. And I mean, I know you guys aren't (or at least I hope) going out and doing whatever the equivallent of e-binge drinking is (what happened at the University of Tennesse, do I even want to know?), but that's really just my own personal bias getting in the way of me seeing who you are.

I wonder what you would be like if you weren't such a good battler. I say that because as it is, you have all the skill to back up your pride. But I know very little of the Washman behind that pride. You are more than your reputation.

I don't know if it's you, or just my perception of you that's evolved a lot since you first came here. When we were on the Gardevoir server, you were that modest little W name at the bottom of the list that I hardly even noticed for the first day or two. You were relatively meek. I actually had a very clear mental conception of you just being the quiet kid who sits in the corner- not the emo corner, mind you, just your normal run-of-the-mill, emotionally stable corner (corners are actually never emotionally stable but that's a different story)- happily scribbling away in your journal. I originally considered you more of a writer than an artist. That misconception has since been thoroughly corrected, don't worry.

But my idea of you has changed a lot. I saw you really spike in confidence when you became a mod, but then that slowly plateau'd into apathy. It's difficult for me to judge if that apathy was just at Reborn or if that's your normal disposition to the world. I think it's toned down a bit by now... into who you are as opposed to who you were.

But who are you? What an appropriately strange way to ask.

"You are who you think I think you are."

I think you have highly considerable talent in both writing and art. I think that by the time you're my age, you will have surpassed my ability in story-telling. You already have done so in visual arts, but I think you need to take that to the next level as well (I suggest trying out a drawing tablet. Really, they're grand.)

And if I have one other piece of advice for you in that regard: Get out of copywright territory.

I see you putting a lot of time in effort into Pokemon- and yes, this is where the pot calls the kettle black, but this because the kettle has a greater potential for change thereby breaking this proverb- and while that's cool, you never know what project is going to end up being a hit. Best it be something you can capitalise on rather than something that you don't legally have the rights to. This is something I wish someone had told me before I started Reborn, to be honest, because as successful as this is it is somewhat of a dead end if I spend too much time on it.

But this isn't about me.

This is about how you've gone from the quiet kid sitting in the corner to having a very cool-guy atmosphere. That's both in terms of how I see glimpses of your IRLness and how you act on the server. You're masculine without being over-powering. You're usually confident without being cocky. But you're always level-headed, often open to new things and you seem to be pretty honest with yourself as well. I think these are all very important characteristics.

But are they who you are?

I don't know, actually, because you are who I think you think we think you are. These are traits I apply to you. Is that actually who you are? You're the one who's really incontrol of that. If you cut out all the fluff, it just becomes, "You are who you think you are"

I don't know you.

I really feel like I don't.

I know bits and pieces about you, and I know that you're the kind of friend who can constantly banter on with someone else and not give a fuck about it because you know it's purely jokes, which personally I can't do at all so I have to respect that.

I feel like you kind of hide behind a grumpy-old-man-mask on the public server sometimes. Consequently my mental conception of you is actually Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog (Ikaru is Courage). I know this is horribly innaccurate though.

I know you're much more than that but you're constantly hiding behind sass and humour and a quiet obedient persistance and really eye-opening dedication to your friend. I think that's really admirable. But see that's the problem. I hardly know you outside of ways that involve your relationship to Ikaru. It's probably because neither of us are especially talkative (lololol here I am writing essays on everyone.) Fine. It's probably because neither of us seem to be especially keen on initiating conversations. That's my fault with a lot of people. But considering the amount of time you've put into this place, I actually feel really guilty for not knowing you better.

This is challenging for two reasons. First, I don't think we've ever really talked privately. Like, -really- talked. Secondly, more importantly because you've changed server names just often enough for me to be unaware of it pretty consistently until after the fact. Like, I only just now found out from doing an alt check that you've been Berserker lately. Derp. But this is problematic because it means that all that information I would have cognitiviely filed under 'things about Kamina' I filed under 'things about a semi-new regular named Berserker', and then that Berskerer drawer was ripped out of place by an officeworker when she realised it was a filing error, so she sent it to a different department to get it fixed, but that department had to get paperwork cleared to fix it, so so they sent it back until the paperwork was cleared so they didn't just have a random drawer sitting around on their desk, but the originall drawer holders never got the drawer back, so by the time the paperwork was cleared everything that was supposed to filed just kind of vanished and everyone stood around wondering what happened, what they were doing with their lives and when their next break is.

...hi, how are you.

I know you're one of our more competent ladderers. I think this is really good, because, as you've probably picked up from the occasional 'people ladder at Reborn?????' comments, we used to not really be big on that at all. Oh yeah, I need to put the tiers up for vote... anyway.. I think it's really great that we actually have someone from in the community who's big on that now, because that means we don't have so much of the randoms coming in and going 'lol ive only been on this server for an hour and im already in the top ten u r all nubs', or the awkward moments when we have someone sitting in the number one position and everyone being like 'wait, who is that?' Except we occasionally do have that still but you are part of the cure not the disease, so rock on!

I also know you're the one who really connected to Kitty when she was going through her Warriors phase, so that's cool. Hm. I should probably finish the New Prophecy series. I'm on Sunset but Kitty spoiled it for me ages ago. >:c

I know you weren't trying to. But if I'm trying to break my old social habits than how I can in good conscious reinforce my old avoidant ones? You were the one who pointed out, if accidentally, that this was following my old cycles. So, #revolution.

You and I have actually had these talks already about what I think of you.

You already know that I hold your judgment in pretty high regard. We have a lot of overlap in terms of aesthetic values as well. More importantly, probably more overlap emotionally. Whenever I have effective insight into your emotionality, it's just because I'm recalling the patterns I go through. They say the best way to learn is to teach. A lot of the times when I'm rambling on about this that or the other thing to you about various facets of self-improvement, I'm also trying to remind myself. If it seems like I get off of subject sometimes, (which we all know I never do), that's probably why. I sometimes forget the differences between us.

I think your whole thing with Titania was totally cute by the way. I'm sure you're tired of hearing about it, but allow me to elaborate. You said once in regards to a certain character type that was later borrowed by a different leader (and perhaps not yet enacted quite effecitvely) that she was pretty much the exact type of girl who you would fall in love with. Right?! I mean, I get that. I used to feel the exact same way. So I totally understood how that goes. It was kind of the same with Titania, except Tania had the opposite principle at her core than that girl does. But the outside effect- the process of slaying the dragons was still the same.

So, being that I was already familiar with how the role of the dragonslayer plays... I really enjoyed setting up dragons for you that were actually killable- unlike those of a genuinine person's, whose emotional habituation is rooted in serotonin and iron curtains of negative thinking. Before I started Reborn, I spent most of my time developing games (which is why the Reborn game comes so naturally to me.) Now, what good is a game if it's never played? But there was no one else who would play that game with me. I'm still sorry that it was under such a pretense, but I'm grateful that you played. You still have my respect for being the type of person willing to do that in the first place. I hope that hasn't changed, because there is going to be someone who really does require it, even if you haven't come to the time where you meet them yet.

Okay so I had basically planned on doing these all at once but I am very quickly burning out, so I'm going to stop here for the night. Sorry to the rest of you, but please be patient so that I can continue giving quality replies rather than just tailing down to a couple lines. ^^;

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Yay c:

I enjoy making people laugh, and consider it one of the few things I'm good at, but I also wonder what you wonder. Whether I'm actually good at it or if I just like to speak to easily amusable people. I dunno if you're easily amusable or not but.. hey << >>

Social affluence has actually never been a strong point of mine. Ever since elementary school I've kept mostly to myself. From 3rd to 5th grade, whenever we were let out for recess, I just swung on the swings, talking to myself or to the only friend I had at the time. I had my stuffed monkey, Coconut, and my video games. What more did I need? --Then Ikaru had to come along and shatter that philosophy but that didn't happen until 3 years after.-- I still wish I knew a set of swings around here, though. I really like swings, they're nice, despite the fact I'm afraid of heights.

In addition to the fact that I'm normally kept to myself, I suppose I've developed social anxiety. Whenever I'm in a store, and there's more than one person other than my mom and I, it's like.. terrible. Don't get me started about more than one, roads, pep rallys, concerts (especially considering the fact that I hate continous loud noise because it limits my ability to know what's going on around me and sklfjslkvdf I hate that,) etc.

As to why I hate my physical appearance, you can blame Tori for that one. I suppose it's a bit wrong of me to blame other people for my own self-image, though you can't get insulted by the person you're in love with for 2 years without some kind of reprocussions (atleast I couldn't!) She doesn't do it anymore, and you could ask yourself why I'm in love with a person that would do that. I could also ask myself that question, and have numerous times. And then she does something or says something to remind me why: because she's super caring when she wants to be. Tsundere, maybe? I'm certainly attracted to the type I guess. The challenge makes it fun. (Even if I've never succeeded.. except for that one day.. that was a good day. But yeah, enough of that.)

I always get distracted when I'm talking about her, and holy crap I've never written so much as a reply and I'm not even done okay what.

I don't really have any problem with my hair, I like it, actually. I like how it never fucking listens and I like how other people like it. I like Kotehy's nickname of "Lion" cause.. Fuck, Lions are cool.

zzzzz.jpg

I Roar and turn you into stone, fight me.

I kinda wish I had straight hair but to be honest, when it's straight it doesn't look right. It isn't me. My hair has to be messy and unmanaged and long or it's just wrong. I didn't even remember mentioning my neckbeard, and I don't think I didn't like it. I actually DO like it, sometimes, before it gets annoying and I do shave it (I'm shaven now actually c: ) but mostly I like having it because it alerts people to my sex. A lot of people mistake me for a female (and I'm not sure why, I don't look female in my own opinion.) And to be honest I don't really MIND it that much, if anything I only pretend to (Hell, I WANTED to be female in 4th and 5th grade, which is another story for another time.) (Holy parentheses batman,) but it does become a little tiresome when people either ask me or simply assume (like when I'm with my mom or Tori) and say things like "Bye Ladies c:" (Cue loudest laugh ever from Tori skfljsflsdf) at the like.

I wanna get out of that paragraph because it's a grammatical mess and I should feel bad

I guess here you go, writing more than minecraft confessions, but I'd be guessing you meant like stories or something.. maybe. The answer to that is, upsettingly enough, no. I actually like writing, it's enjoyable and rewarding and all that jazz. But I'm also a perfectionist who can't do anything perfectly. And this makes writing extremely difficult when I'm not actually assigned to write, because I want it to be (atleast in my eyes) exactly how I want it to be and I'm not good enough to make that a reality yet. That and I couldn't hold a plot together with wood glue. I like academic writing, to be honest. I like breaking the rules of it as well. Adding humor where there shouldn't be humor, playing with words, dancing around the boundaries of "This is stupid give it an F and banish him from the English community," but also demonstrating my ideas in a more formal way than just saying them in a few sentences. It should be noted however that I hate research papers. Sources are dumb. Formats for sources are dumb. Shoes in Texas are dumb.

Okay then, I guess that's all, for now. Thanks for the kind words, by the way c:

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Hai Harky~

Sometimes I view the world in terms of two different kinds of people: Brights and Darks. I think I got the idea from this comic:

light.jpg

Obviously, in my mind the Darks far outnumber the brights- not to say that they're any worse of people. Many of them may even be better, kinder, more effective people. But I think there is a rare breed of person who is a Bright. I like to think of myself as one, though sometimes I don't feel that way. I also think of you as one.

For me, being a Bright means being centered with who you are. I think everyone has two selves- there's the one on the outside that everyone sees. That one is the result of one's biology and birth and experience and everything. Then there's the one on the inside that's harder to find. I consider Brights' external self to be in alignment with their internal self. You know how when using a telescope, in order to get a decent view of anything, you have to adjust all of the lenses in it to just the right position? It's kind of like that. Darks just haven't found their right position yet. Brights probably aren't even in perfect alignment- but they're much closer. The image comes into a much better focus.

I've always thought of you as a Bright. To me, you seem to know who you are, and you've moved on past things like giving fucks as to if that bothers anybody else. You're social, you're often very positive- you're a very quick learner. I don't think when I 'tutored' you in battling I did much at all, you just picked it up like, bing-bang-zap. You're a character- you have a very strong presence online, and from what I can tell, IRL too. If someone were to base a character in a story off of you, I think it would be a very good, interesting character. For me, that's almost the main distinction between how I view Brights vs Darks. Which is kind of silly, I know.

Now comes the part you're not going to like.

I know you've expressed frustration about the disapproval of your substance-related activities. When you're talking to me about stuff, I know as well just to keep silent. Because this sort of thing is important to you, so it's not really my place to tell you what I really think of it, but, well, you asked now, so here I go.

I think you have a problem.

I was moderately comfortable with your recreational drug use until you told me that your long-term goal was basically to stay high as often as possible.

I think that that's a lovely waste of a lot of potential. I think that sort of thing can burn a Bright out like a star. Afterwards there's just a black hole.

I don't want to see you become a black hole.

I think a lot of people, both on and off the internet fall into the trap of assuming that people who come onto places like this are just nerds and geeks and blahblahblah and all that stuff that we know isn't true but the stereotype of it exists nonetheless.

I like you because you're the athletic type, and then you still come on here and play Pokemon enough to be a regular. I feel like that's an undervalued contrast. To me you come off as a very direct counter-point to the people who assume that internet-people are just fat 40 year old men. I don't know any fat 40-year old men on this site, or even skinny ones, but it's nice to have like a working model antithesis to it just in case. You're not the only one, either. I'm always a little surprised when we start getting into sport discussions on the main chat, but that's just because that's an entirely dissociated world to me personally. But that is just the first reason I appreciate you.

In addition to that, you seem to be a pretty well-rounded, intelligent, honest guy. I think that's cool in general. But you know, I'm having difficulty getting specific here, because I feel like... hm, how do I say this,

You're either not great at expressing yourself, or you just choose not to?

Either way doesn't surprise me at all. Because you're a generally pretty masculine guy, self-expression isn't something that's really encouraged for masculinity. In fact, it's often discouraged because a lot of times people who talk about who they really are, their feelings and such, just get written off as 'gay'. It's a horrible paradigm, really. Now I don't know if that's what's going on with you- that you just don't like to talk about yourself too much because that's the social convention, or what, but for whatever reason that is, I don't really feel like I know you despite the fact that you've been here for like ever.

Wow.

Um

I feel really bad.

I am really, really sorry.

This... this is bad, because um, I literally had no idea who you were until you posted here o_o

And like, I see that 122 posts by your name and I'm like 'wait wat'

So I looked around your profile:

Thaaaat would be why, I never go in the Game Corner anymore. ^^; But I feel like I should know you from the server, then, so I feel really really bad, and I am sorry. :cccccc

I have a really bad memory when it comes to server things.

...Especially when it says 'Chrono' hasn't been on since August...

But still... I feel bad/sorry O_o

wow this is really bad i dont know who you are either

no jk ily

You know, looking at everybody else's topics, all anyone is saying about you is that you're a bro. I feel like this is kind of a cop-out. That's just giving you a rather arbitrary label rather than explaining why or anything about you.

And yet, I struggle to do that as I expect they have. I ask, why? You've been around for a while. You generally have a pretty good attitude. You could take losses better sometimes, sure, but you're a pretty solid positive influence in the community. I appreciate that a lot. Where I struggle, however, is actually thinking of anything that makes you stand out, you know, aside from what you do for the staff, and aside from your whole ladies-man image. What's with that, by the way? I never got it. I never got why Laura in particular, either.

Like some of the others, I feel like I don't really know you. I mean we don't talk much, and you're more active in SU so I'm sure that's part of it. But I want to say that there's something else. I can't place what. I feel like part of you is just 'missing'.

I think you have a lot of energy. I mean this in a few different ways. You have positive energy in that you don't really seem to be too afflicted by what others say about you, which is great.

More importantly, you have some strong creative energy, which I see in some of your more unique statuses. I know you mostly make those statuses to mess with people, just give them kind of mini-mindfucks, yeah? That's cool in a sense. I think some are more successful than others, I think you can actually do better, but it's going to take a lot of work on your part to develop the creative habits and strong wit to be on Inuki's level to where you'll really impress. I think you could also slow down a little bit when you're typing- just you know, smooth out some convention errors and such, because those types of things actually do take away from the presentation of a gag.

I would also suggest, rather than posting statuses for the sake of sharing wit, save it for appropriate times in casual conversation. When you post a status, it makes it look like you're deliberately trying to be funny. If you can shoot out relevant quips and cleverness in a casual conversation, then it makes it look like that's just kind of naturally how you are, and that is infinitely more valuable

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You're a human, I presume!

Although with your avatar I sometimes have trouble not thinking of you as a Charmander.

What?

I don't really know what you've been through, what you deal with on a daily basis but whatever it is it obviously seems to bother you a lot. That's fine, I know things get iffy... But, what I also know about you is that when you're not suffering you're a very positive, upbeat participant around here. Sometimes we lose that Silver to the depressant one. To me, it feels like you hold onto a lot of darkness in your life that really obscures you from being... you, whoever that is.

It seems like you hide a lot of yourself because you don't want to get hurt. That's natural. But I think currently you're in a place, at least around here where continuing to hide yourself is going to do more harm than it is good. Try to trust people! Maybe not everyone, but most us aren't going to bite. We ban the people who bite. c:

On an unrelated note, your signature is pretty cool with all of those leader VS things, good job with them! Noel came out a little derpy, but that is entirely my fault for not not putting the right floor on the colors when I made it, so hurrr, sorry.

You introduced yourself here as a master of puns.

One of your common names is 'Roo the baka'- almost clownish in nature. It inherently makes fun of yourself.

Then between a recent status, and your list of hypocrisy... You're really hard on yourself, yeah? It seems like it to me. Like, okay, I can get maintaining a healthy bit of humility- that's great. But this... this seems to not quite be healthy, you know? Everyone says stupid stuff sometimes- I mean, have you seen half of the stuff I say sometimes? :D I've just learned to laugh about it and blame it on the fact that I'm blonde and blahblahblah tl;dr I don't let a herpyderpy comment or two hit down my self-esteem. Why should you? From what I've seen of you you have no reason to be hard on yourself. I'll admit there are some people who one meets, and they just seem completely socially oblivious- they need a reality check, they need to look at their actions objectively, yeah, those types exist.

You're not one of them, though.

Half of the things on your list of hypocrisy aren't even hypocritical. More than that. They're... examples of you not meaning what you say. So why is that? Is the Roo that's within the 9001 processes really so different from the Roo that we see? Well, probably. Where is that difference, exactly? What can you do about it? At that point, it's just a matter of changing your outside habits to match who you are inside. You don't need to keep berating yourself.

"You're not gonna make me do one of these, are you? xD"

I would never make you do anything you really didn't want to.

The question is, do you secretly want to?

If you didn't, why even suggest the possibility in the first place?

That aside... I would be lying if I said I hadn't picked you out as a future-auth when you first came here. You have the sort of personality that I think very well suits it, if you can get over your insecurity.

Well, you're a lot like Ikaru in that sense, actually... But you give more fucks than he does, which is a good thing.

I would say you have some really bad luck it comes to relationships, but I don't really believe in luck as applied to those things. I believe certain people undertake certain patterns of behavior which attract certain types of other people with their own patterns of behavior between them that make it look as if a person is just a victim of repeated unfortunate circumstance. So the question I think you would ask is what habit that you have isn't working?

I think the whole over-apologising thing is cute. Completely unnecessary, but cute. This is coming from someone who's favorite Tales character is Colette, though, so I'm maybe a little bit biased..

Nonetheless, I think you have a lot of potential, just in general. Not in terms of Reborn. You're highly intelligent. You obviously have patience and discipline. You're very nice. Demonstrated leadership abilities. I forget what you said you were majoring in, but I can think of few things that you wouldn't be able to do, just based on what I know of you.

You were really cool and sweet at first, and then you left and came back a troll and then you were forever_in_and_out.jpg somehow alternating between the two of those forevermore, which actually now that I think about it really impressive because I think most cool/sweet people couldn't be trolls if their life depended on it and most trolls don't know how to give actual fucks not that i encourage trollyism etc.

I remember when you left Exc we had a talk that was very surprising to me. It was surprising because you are one of the most confident personalities on the server, well, when you're on the server, so like a week out of every month and a half? >> It was surprising for me to hear about insecurities from you as well. Cognitively I know that everyone suffers the same vulnerabilities, so really I oughtn't have thought much of it, but I did. Because it never fails to fascinate me how in spite of everything you can put yourself out there the way you do. I hope I don't sound like I'm criticising that; I don't mean to. I'm genuinely impressed. I'm also pleased at how you've managed to tone down your sass from its former disrespectful state to where it's now- still amusing but in the rules, and just, "classic Horizon". You have your own style. I respect that.

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So I'm a little preteen girl and I go on Quizilla all the time. I mean, okay, look, who doesn't like quizzes? Right? Yeah? Shhhhh. There's this one quiz though, that I've really taken a liking to. It's a relationship quiz (with detailed results and anime pictures!!!) that I've gone back to many times over the years. One of its potential answers is 'Free Spirit'. That's pretty much how I view you.

Here's what that result says:

Free Spirits are mysterious beings, often nature loving, rarely in one place for long, always moving on. Your mystery is your greatest appeal, and your completely unreserved nature can be very attractive. You're not afraid to dance around in the rain or dive in a giant pile of leaves like a five year old. Embarrassment is not something you are well acquainted with.

Some people might consider you to be snobby, and it's true that you can sometimes be aloof, but you are not deliberately condescending, in fact, you believe most people to be better than you, and from your distant perch you can see all the positive attributes that aren't so obvious when close by.

You are a wandering soul who drifts in and out of people's lives, often without realising the impact and affect you have on them. Most of the time you presume people forget you almost as soon as you leave, but your mystery has kept many a heart ensnared for long after you have moved on.

You flit in and out so easily. qq Stay with us, sit, have some tea... It's okay, you don't need to /d!

I remember the first time you came onto the server you had a derpy name with at least three different typos and I was like 'oh god who is this nub' but then we started talking and you were actually not nubly at all. Nonetheless, you've done a lot of maturing since you first came here, and much of that has been more in Scarlet's care than mine. The truth is most of what I know about you presently outside of your general taste in animuus has been second hand through Scarry, and as accurate as that may or may not be I would rather not form any sort of a judgment about you based solely on an outside perspective. Because then that's going to be come what does Scarry think of you, or more accurately what does Ame think Scarry thinks of you and that's just a strange topic let's not do that.

As much as I want to comment on what I knew of you before, the 'before' happens to be before you were like 'yo dawgz im leavin ta get my life n shitz back in order coo?' (in those words, exactly, of course) and I have no doubt that you've done even more growing during that time

so

I really don't know anymore D:

no youre mean to me go away

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youre an insensitive jerk who does nothing but make my life miserable

no jk ily

I think you haven't gotten as much recognition as you deserve around here. I'm not sure why that is, to be honest. I remember you showing up in December and basically acting like you had been here for months. I don't mean to imply that you were presumptuous, rather, you just fit in. So it surprises me that you haven't really been rewarded for it, and honestly I feel a little bit guilty about that.

I think you need a shirt.

That's just me, though.

If I don't hug you back it's because I'm blonde and didn't see your hug :c

I really have nothing against you

Other than the fact that you're mean to me. :c

I think you have some maturing to do. That's okay, everyone starts somewhere, and you're relatively young. I think even aside from that in some other ways you are already mature beyond your age. For instance the fact that you also identify as trans. I think it's really cool that you've accepted that about yourself already. It took me until fairly recently. I would have been much better off had I been able to accept that like you have, but I didn't even really see it as an option. I don't know why, it was silly of me.

I think you're brave for doing that. I hope it works out for you.

I'm a little confused as to why you still prefer male pronouns if you're identifying as a girl, but hey, whatevs.

I know you have really good intentions, and you're pretty affectionate and caring. I think there's a lot to be said for that. Don't undervalue that. c:

Why would I be anything other than honest? This isn't Inuki's thread. c:

With the flood of new people who have come in in the last nine months, one thing I really regret is that I can't get to know everyone as well as I used to be able to. I feel like there are some really cool personalities getting lost from me in the 40-60 names on in the evening, and, well, I'm actually not too sad about that because I know that those people are out there being cool with the other regulars. I don't need to be selfish and hog all the cool people to myself... sidetracking.. anyway the point is that you're one of those people who I feel like would have been really cool to know.

I don't know a whole lot about you, not anything beyond trivialities, but I've glimpsed from those that you're obviously and intelligent, positive person. I think you have a great attitude in regards to a lot of things. I'm a little curious as to your telling me to "open fire"- likening my comments to bullets? I'm afraid, if you think I'm that kind of person, that I've put off the wrong aura entirely. Either that, or you have a habit of weak self-efficacy...? Which is strange, because I do not recall a vibe of insecurity from most of your comments- that's why it leads me to believe that the fault lies with myself... I don't bite, promise. :o

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Since I fail at quoting things on the forums <<. I'll just reply the lame way.

Anyway, regarding what Ame said about me: I'll be honest, the reason I don't really talk to anyone, like, in PM's and such, is I'm shy(though I'm sure there's a better word for it.) Believe it or not, I mean, sure I may seem like I'm not when I talk in main, I dunno I guess it's just the whole "One on One" talking thing. When I resigned from modding, it took me like an hour to send the PM <<. It's just something about a one on one conversation that freaks me out... The only person I freely talk to without hesitation in PM is Poe, really. But, if I'm confronted, I'll usually talk <<. As for the "Ladies Man" thing. Eh, that was just a big ol' joke. Just ask Poe, I'm anything but a ladies man, hell, I can't even get one lol. But, hey, if you ever wanna talk, just PM me or something. That goes for anyone, really.

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