Would you be wed to a Yandere Toaster for Twelve Dollars?

[Combat]

"Ahahaha! I am on-line once again! Tremble, world, before my electric heating coil of doom!"

With the sheer levels of silliness that have been occurring lately, I believe that's its time to ask the hard question, would you? For this situation, you are given a sentient toaster who loves you, but despises anyone else that comes into contact with you. For twelve dollars, you are married to this small appliance, and must keep it plugged in in your kitchen at all times. You are aloud to have friends and lovers over, and are not "legally" married to a toaster because what court of law would allow that. The toaster will toast any bread you place in it to perfection, but will horrible burn any pieces that anyone else that it considers as a romantic threat. It is unable to move, since it is a toaster, but has free powers over its heating coils, and would be able to kill anyone who cleaned it while still plugged it. Also, any other kitchen appliances that catch your eye end up mysteriously breaking...

So, you get a free toaster and twelve bucks, but are at risk of losing that cute blender you've been looking at.

You people encourage this type of behavior.

[Dypatome]

I'll just say it so hopefully nobody else does:

"yee"

[DemICE]

I'll just take the cute blender

[Spineblade]

*shakes head sadly, muttering about the youth of today*

[Alistair]

Seems like a situation with little potential gain and much potential loss.

What I'm more curious about is... why specifically 12 bucks?

[Vinny]

Twelve dollars isn't worth it

[Combat]

What I'm more curious about is... why specifically 12 bucks?

Because I opened my wallet to see how much I had in it. There were twelve dollars in it.

[Tartar]

I'll take the tsundere blender thank you, and leave the toaster behind.

[Nova]

Is the toaster a Gardevoir?

[Combat]

Is the toaster a Gardevoir?

Don't be silly, the toaster is a toaster. The coffee maker on the other hand...

[Commander]

If ye shall burnest the bread of thy most sinful enemies without tampering with my holy loaves, then I hereby announce Dypatome and uhh...Toasty husband and wife. My fee is 12 dollars.

[Aurorix]

I'll get the toaster, only if it plays this meme every time I toast toast

[Dypatome]

Sorry but I'm a bit poor, would a pickle be sufficient payment?

[Cobalt996]

Why would I need a toaster that mysteriously ends my other appliances, when I could just have a plain old toaster? I mean, either way, it's a toaster, and you know what they say—all toasters toast toast.

[Combat]

Why would I need a toaster that mysteriously ends my other appliances, when I could just have a plain old toaster? I mean, either way, it's a toaster, and you know what they say—all toasters toast toast.

Its a toast plus a nice chunk of cash too. You could buy twelve things off of the dollar menu with that kind of money!

[Ironbound]

No

[Alistair]

Upvoted the OP cuz Fallout New Vegas quote. That alone could almost convince me to embark on a wonderful journey with a yandere toaster.