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Posted

Some lady steps on a watch and gets slapped.

The owner of said watch punches the guy who slapped the lady.

"No one hits a lady, not on my watch!"

Posted

I got some pretty a-blazing puns.

Now if you get hurt from how bad they are you can't flame me

you read this at your own risk. before you can even begin to come into these kinds of threads you

have to ash yourself if you are ready for these heat puns.

Wow the quality of these are just getting fire and fire and I'm starting to simmer down but I wont let cinder my efforts

cause after all you have to rem-ember why we are here? To burn the respect of our peers! Of course.

Posted

Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, 'I was artificially inseminated this morning.' 'I don't believe you,' Dolly replies. 'It's true, no bull!' exclaims Daisy.

I got some pretty a-blazing puns.

Now if you get hurt from how bad they are you can't flame me

you read this at your own risk. before you can even begin to come into these kinds of threads you

have to ash yourself if you are ready for these heat puns.

Wow the quality of these are just getting fire and fire and I'm starting to simmer down but I wont let cinder my efforts

cause after all you have to rem-ember why we are here? To burn the respect of our peers! Of course.

Well, you certainly kept to your theme.

Posted

There was a person who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hopes that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Posted

A vulture boards a plane, carrying two dead raccoon. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'Sorry, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Posted

A thread just for puns, im home.

What's the weather going to be like tomorrow?

Hail if I know!

your right, snow one can predict the weather

Posted

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says to the other, 'I lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first one replied, 'I'm positive.'

Posted

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, so he was very frail, and his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Posted

God said to Peter "Come forth and I shall grant you eternal life" but Peter came fifth and won a toaster.

Posted

What happened to the cannibal that came late to a potluck?
He was given the cold shoulder.

Why wouldn't the car start?

It was too exhausted.

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