Hiss13 Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Wait…who were those bullets fired at? Nagi or Hikaru? And the first two are just normal looking bullets, right?
Chevaleresse Posted November 20, 2015 Author Posted November 20, 2015 Nagi, and yes. Edit: update coming today. Was too ded to finish last night.
DerpHaven Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Name: Zixten "Zed"Gender: FemaleAge: 19Appearance, normal: 5'7", long silver hair, silver eyes, pale complexion, black pants, black shirt, and a long black coat. She keeps a lot of things in her coat.Appearance, transformed: Her hair shortens, her eyes glow, and her clothes turn white.Personality: On the outside, she's naive, childish, and mischievous, but she knows when to get serious.Weapons of choice: Dual pistols, but she's proficient in most weapons and hand-to-hand.Backstory: Born and raised... frankly I'm too lazy to think of a birthplace. Basically she lived in a place like New Jersey and had to learn a lot of fighting styles. She became a mercenary, went exploring on a job and found the shard. (I'm also too lazy to write more than three sentences.)Power Origin: Shard (does the shard disappear?)Faction: Loner
Shamitako Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Greeterings, person-type person. Murdoc seems to be out ATM, but I think I can provide you some assistance in getting your sheet to a passable point for when he shows up Firstly, since your post count says "1" I'm going to make the assumption you're new here and thus provide you with some shameless self-promotion in the form of a guide I wrote for scrubs like yourself ^^ http://www.pokemonreborn.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=17996 You should also check out the Grand Hall, as it's specifically made for new Rebornians to introduce themselves Now, onto your character Name: Zixten "Zed" While I'm sure it's not your intention excessive use of the letter Z just screams "Sue" (if you don't know what a Sue is I'd be happy to explain since I didn't cover it in my guide) I recommend heading here: http://www.behindthename.com/ and looking up names with meanings that reference your character's personality (although it's not as helpful for Japanese names) You'll also be in need of a surname Appearance, normal: 5'7", long silver hair, silver eyes, pale complexion, black pants, black shirt, and a long black coat. She keeps a lot of things in her coat. This is extremely short and misses out on a lot of possible features you could describe (for one you kind of didn't give her shoes...) I recommend you check out the accepted character's list. you'll note that not a single accepted character has an appearance shorter than a paragraph. The same applies to your transformed appearance Personality: On the outside, she's naive, childish, and mischievous, but she knows when to get serious. As with the appearance, this is very short. In addition to just missing out on possible personality traits, having a personality like this can make your character seem very shallow. Try to avoid using exact opposite personality traits like "childish" and "serious." You should also generally avoid characters who are different "outside" and "inside" unless you're specifically making a character who hides who they are (which if you are doing you should provide detailed reasoning as to why they are doing so) Backstory: Born and raised... frankly I'm too lazy to think of a birthplace. Basically she lived in a place like New Jersey and had to learn a lot of fighting styles. She became a mercenary, went exploring on a job and found the shard. (I'm also too lazy to write more than three sentences.) Laziness isn't going to get you anywhere, in fact it's likely to just tick the host off since it shows you're not willing to actually put time into participating Things you should explain: Actually where she comes from. This RP is set in Japan so if she's American you'll also want to explain how she ended up in Japan. You say she's a mercenary, but you also need to explain why she's a mercenary. You said she had to learn a lot of fighting styles, so you should explain why as well as that's not something most people would have to do. And you also need to cover how she got her powers, since it's from a Shard, please explain how she came into contact with the Shard Power Origin: Shard (does the shard disappear?) Shards disperse into the person that activates them, assuming they are capable of wielding magical powers. My character, Kindle, had the Shard's power coalesce inside her right eye after it was absorbed into her body. The Shard could simply exist throughout your character or could be gathered into a simple spot, or maybe it could exist outside your character and they could wear it as a piece of jewelry. Magi gaining their powers from a Shard is very rare and unusual, and there's not really any set rule on how it effects them individually That just about covers it With Hope, Lexi ^^
DerpHaven Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) Thank you. I have RP'd before, once, and it was a kind of, Anything Goes RP. I did read the page on Mary Sues, and I only use that name because I was trying to think of a more realistic name than 'Derp'. I guess laziness isn't what I meant, more the fact that I hate writing a paragraph when a sentence will do (there is nothing I hate more than essays. NOTHING). I think I'll hold off on this RP until later, and find an RP more like the other one. (I'd actually be there if it hadn't been taken down. Something about excessive notifications?) Again, thank you. Edit: Actually, now that I think about it, what RPs would you recommend? Edited November 20, 2015 by DerpHaven
Shamitako Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Yeah, a good number of RPs you're very unlikely to be writing less than a paragraph for personality, appearance, and backstory I'm not running any goofy RPs ATM or I'd offer to have you join. You could try Pyon's Harem RP, it'd still need more work than you put into the above sheet, but a lot less than OSAF would require
DerpHaven Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 You could try Pyon's Harem RP, yon's Harem RP. 's Harem R HAREM ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Sounds fun! I read your guide, it's good! I just skipped the first section, I AM the grammar police.
Grizzlybrand Posted November 20, 2015 Posted November 20, 2015 Uhhh, gimme a sec, it's on the roleplay board, just under the more active RP's gimme a sec. http://www.pokemonreborn.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=17950
Chevaleresse Posted November 21, 2015 Author Posted November 21, 2015 I'll update the bus group after Yagami posts once more.
Pyon Pyon Kyuu!~ Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Bus Party = Best Party. Ye got the tank, the DPS, the debuff support. Bus Party shall rule the world bras.
Shamitako Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Bus party sux yo, Kindle will take you all on ...Well, once she stops being a n00b TBH I doubt she could 1v3 actual mages... But it sounded good when I said it
Pyon Pyon Kyuu!~ Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Bus party sux yo, Kindle will take you all on ...Well, once she stops being a n00b TBH I doubt she could 1v3 actual mages... But it sounded good when I said it If Kindle acts nice Bus Party can consider letting her join C:
Shamitako Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 But you already have DPS, and you don't need more DPS when more DPS is just as likely to DPS you as the enemy
Pyon Pyon Kyuu!~ Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 But DPS is always a good thing plus our current DPS is ranged DPS which can also be AOE DPS since the dude uses two guns to DPS and melee DPS is also different DPS from ranged DPS. We do have the bear guy who also has small DPS but I think he'll be fitting the tank role instead of DPS-ing. In short, maybe what Bus Party needs is so magical DPS. Or maybe a heal DPS since Lucia is actually all debuffs. DPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPSDPS
Hiss13 Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Nagi shall take all of y'all on. Run circles around and slash y'all to ribbons with the very air itself. *runs and hides after taunting*
Sutoratosu Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 I'm sorry, but can someone explain dafuq all this DPS you guys keep going on about actually stands for?
Chevaleresse Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 damage per second, it's a common gaming term.
Shamitako Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 All I got from that was that Kindle is still not that great on a team
Grizzlybrand Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 Eh, we could always do with another person in the front line, covers the option if an enemy tries to take to our backlines and goes for Lucia or Stephen.
Noir Posted November 22, 2015 Posted November 22, 2015 The DPS carry tho, I'll rekt ya'll skrubs like no tommorow. I'll post soon, just been a bit busy.
Chevaleresse Posted November 22, 2015 Author Posted November 22, 2015 Nah, it's fine. I'm not expecting immediate responses most of the time.
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