Luca, we are here for you. I know what depression is like and how it can feel unbearable, but talking to a therapist has helped me cope with it considerably. If you need someone to talk to just let me know, and I'll listen. Take each day as a new day and fight to make it to the end of it. Life WILL get better, even if it seems hopeless right now. Dont give up, and lean on all of us for comfort. You matter, and you are doing your best. Remember that. Working a job and going to college is super stressful, and venting to others helps when life with your mom gets unbearable. Tell your dad your thoughts, he WILL fight to the death for you, and he wants your happiness above all else. He loves you like no other person in this world could and will be your anchor when your mind is assailed with terrible thoughts. Let him be your support. Sit him down and share your heart with him and then let him help. PM me if you want someone to talk to and I will listen even if I might not have the advice you are looking for. Please stay safe.