fanfic A few questions

[Evi Crystal]

I have recently started writing a story called "An Star's Tale- Adventures in Reborn.

 

I decided to post some polls on my story, so you guys can also participate too. I want to share my ideas with you and want your opinions about them. Like those with the other fanfics in this server blog. 

 

You can comment below, to give me tips, what should I do better? Because I have some difficulties

 

Have fun 

 

Evi Crystal

Edited March 28, 2020 by Evi Crystal

[Aphelli]

I didn't answer the poll because I find that, however fine they seem to be, there never is one that reflects just my position. 

 

So I'll give my two cents in text.

 

About your fanfiction: it probably needs some improvement, but what fanfiction doesn't? I may be much too keen on that but at the very least, you should proof-read your texts very carefully, as random mistakes sort of slip in (there's a Ruby which sorts of awakes out of the blue in the second chapter). As a suggestion, you may also want to explain how come that Ame and your protagonist know each other so well (specific mentions of family, "I never knew you could draw so well" which sounds surprising if it's a stranger you've just met in the train) (or maybe I'm just interpreting it all sideways, I wouldn't be surprised -- especially if you're seeing your characters in a cultural setting very different from what I'm envisioning). 

 

I'm very interested in the AU aspect, as you'll probably retain the interest of your readers better if stuff doesn't happen quite as they thought it would. Having new characters on screen, new interactions, new plot lines (or plot digressions)... From that point of view, I wouldn't object if your adaptation of the plot doesn't follow the chronology of Reborn -- I'm all for chronological order within your story, but I think it's a plus if you can have events happening differently from the vanilla game, given the changes you've made (or you'll be making) to the universe. Of course, it's probably safer not to -- the butterfly effect works also (especially) with plots.

 

I don't know what lemon means precisely (just like Terra's vocabulary, I think I know the general idea but I'm glad to not know the specifics), but if mature themes work in your story, by all means go for it (with warnings, of course). 

[Evi Crystal]

On 4/6/2020 at 8:05 PM, Mindlack said:

I didn't answer the poll because I find that, however fine they seem to be, there never is one that reflects just my position. 

 

So I'll give my two cents in text.

 

About your fanfiction: it probably needs some improvement, but what fanfiction doesn't? I may be much too keen on that but at the very least, you should proof-read your texts very carefully, as random mistakes sort of slip in (there's a Ruby which sorts of awakes out of the blue in the second chapter). As a suggestion, you may also want to explain how come that Ame and your protagonist know each other so well (specific mentions of family, "I never knew you could draw so well" which sounds surprising if it's a stranger you've just met in the train) (or maybe I'm just interpreting it all sideways, I wouldn't be surprised -- especially if you're seeing your characters in a cultural setting very different from what I'm envisioning). 

 

I'm very interested in the AU aspect, as you'll probably retain the interest of your readers better if stuff doesn't happen quite as they thought it would. Having new characters on screen, new interactions, new plot lines (or plot digressions)... From that point of view, I wouldn't object if your adaptation of the plot doesn't follow the chronology of Reborn -- I'm all for chronological order within your story, but I think it's a plus if you can have events happening differently from the vanilla game, given the changes you've made (or you'll be making) to the universe. Of course, it's probably safer not to -- the butterfly effect works also (especially) with plots.

 

I don't know what lemon means precisely (just like Terra's vocabulary, I think I know the general idea but I'm glad to not know the specifics), but if mature themes work in your story, by all means go for it (with warnings, of course). 

 Okay thanks, I'll try to improve as much as possible. I often read other Reborn fanfics (who are a few of them) to find better inspiration, bc of my expierence with Wattpad and try to start over again...

I never realized it would be that hard, despite I have plethora of fantasy and ideas. 

 

And for the text grammar mistakes, I have there a weakness since 4th grade and I'm still in process to fix that.