Damage Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) Hello all. To build upon my writing I've decided to write a story based on my current playthrough of Reborn. Its a narrative following a fictional character interacting in place of the MC in the game. The events for the most part are the same with some being changed to better reflect the main character and his pokemon team. Any and all criticism is helpful and wanted. Please try not to just flame me since that does little in the way of improvement. Anyway here's a short intro so you know what you're getting into. (Things regarding format please also note as I'm writing this in word using a script writing format so if its confusing just say so and I'll assist.) I'm breaking Episode one into three posts to help with the size. Our main character hails all the way from Johto, born and raised in the city of dragons Blackthorn city. A mountain land where power and ability are revered. Usually beginning their journey with the town's signature dragon Dratini, our hero Justin has decided to take the road less flown by and pick up a starter of his very own. Leaving the Johto league for his own reasons he has decided that Reborn would host a far better challenge than his homeland ever could. Will he find the challenge he seeks and conquer it, will it be a trial too easy for him or will it crush him and send him home with clipped wings. This is the story of Justin Wayland. Reborn City Narrator This is the world of pokemon. A seemingly endless landscape full of wonder and adventure. For thousands of years both the human and pokemon species have shared this planet as a home. Some choosing to battle but more and more are choosing to coexist. As the societies progress, questions find themselves at the forefront of conversation “do we treat pokemon properly” or what should we expect of pokemon. One individual believes we should expect no more of our co-inhabitants than we expect of ourselves. This is his story. Tourmaline Desert It is early afternoon and a train can be seen blazing through the tourmaline desert. Playing throughout the barren wastelands are various desert pokemon but mostly cacnea fill the lands. We close in on the train and see a tall but slim young dark skinned man wearing a black tee shirt, blue jeans and black boots. Holstered at his side are three 2 foot wooden tubes loosely held by a white rope. At his side a back pack presumably filled with traveling provisions. The man is Justin Wayland a normally upbeat individual focused mainly on the moment rather than stressing the “will be’s”. Next to him is a man wearing a black trench coat and matching fedora. His face cannot be made out but a faint glow can be seen at his chest on occasion. ??? Hello Justin. Justin Hello… I’m guessing since you know my name, Ame? I hope not since I heard you were a woman. ??? Why have you come to Reborn? Justin Heard if I’m going to challenge a league that this one would be the only tough one. ??? There are more than just challenges to be considered here. I can take you home before such dangers present themselves. Justin I like to see things through to the end. Unless its dangerous then it’s a definite maybe. ??? I see potential in you. Justin (inching closer to the entity) Is that aura. Because it sounds like aura. Its aura isn’t it? ??? Yes. Justin (excited) Great. Then I’m safe. The mysterious entity stands and places a pokeball on his lap and slowly walks to the end of the train car. Justin Wow my first pokemon. Thanks but I think I’d like to challenge tall grass and find my own pal. Its how pappy taught me. ??? This is to protect you when aura cannot. The man vanishes and a Chandelure emerges from the pokeball. Justin Hello fully evolved challenge breaker. What exactly can you protect me from? Screams are heard from train cars over and the door to Justin’s cart flies across trailed by fire. The Chandelure’s lights glow brightly as the fire nears the two and everything goes black. Narrator We as people seek to affect things far greater than ourselves. This is a natural and very common desire. However should one actively seek something that can cause them so much harm? That will always be a choice whether its correct or not cannot be determined until the dust has settled. Reborn City A torn down city, riddled with destruction and homelessness. A city so wrought with depression even the water has turned almost black. In the corner of the Opal ward a train station is broken and destroyed. A few survivors have been hauled to safety. A woman on a loud speaker is broadcasted through the city. Speaker All citizens are urged to remain in their homes until the current crisis has been dealt with. A bloody arm is seen under rubble next to a Chandelure who burns it away revealing Justin. After the ghost pokemon vanishes as mysteriously as its master. After a few moments Justin coughs and wipes his face of dust and debris. He looks around to see broken bodies charred by the prior explosion. He struggles to stand but before falling a green haired woman wearing cheer-leading attire approaches with “OTS” written on it. She appears to be in her twenties and she starts carefully walking him away from the crumbling building. The woman’s name is Julia a very energetic spirit with a questionable love for destructions and explosions. Julia DID YOU SEE THE BOOMIE Justin My clothes are burnt miss, so yes. I most certainly did see the boomie. Please tell me you aren’t an EMT. Julia (shaking Justin while smiling) NOPE. I’m a gym leader! Justin That’s actually far more unsettling. Julia You got boomied bad. Justin I’m beginning to think you like explosions. Julia (grinning) YES Justin Neat so can you turn yourself over to the cops while I get medical attention. Julia (confused) You aren’t even hurt…. Justin I was literally in the middle… Justin pats himself down slowly and aside from his burnt clothes he finds that he is in fact fine. Even the blood has disappeared from his arm. Justin Did you see a Chandelure? Julia You lost your friend? Justin No. I think it took the blast for me. Some guy gave it to me before the explosion! An ashen haired woman wearing a purple and black lace up dress with a grey undershirt and black heels approaches. In her early thirties with a particularly serious look on her face. Ame Justin! Sorry you were caught up in this. Justin I’ll be okay… um… Ame Ame. The league runner who invited you here. Justin I thought you were the guy in all black with the glowing chest. Ame/Julia Shade. Ame That explains the Chandelure that passed by and the fact several carts were still in tact. Justin for now you should head to the Grand Hall. You probably need rest. Justin Yeah, catching on fire is pretty exhausting. Julia RIGHT?! Justin By the way. I think she’s the bomber. Julia NO WAY! Justin She called this a boomie which is pretty… terrifying. Ame Our leaders are among Reborn’s most respected trainers. I think we can cross them off the list of terrorists. Justin Yeah. I don’t put crime past anyone but that’s because I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Julia Ooooh a bad boy. Justin (ignoring Julia) Hospital down the road, yeah? Ame Yes. I’ll see you soon. Edited August 21, 2016 by Damage 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Girl Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) Hey, remember me? Cool Girl? I like the story you have. Think we could incorporate it into our Reborn Series?.....So far..... Edited March 17, 2016 by Cool Girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) Opal Ward Justin walks down the road seeing cops and firefighters assisting wounded and talking to citizens who witnessed the bomb. He sees the lake and stops for a moment. Justin Yeah perhaps letting time do its thing would have worked out the same for our bad guy. An old man sitting at the edge of the pier looking onto the lake looks at Justin then back at the lake. Old man Perhaps you’re right young man. This town has been deteriorating for the past decade. Why one would even bother attacking it at this point is beyond me. Justin Anyone who really hates this town come to mind? Old man Wish to fight them? Justin They set me on fire so yeah. I think I deserve at least wagging my finger at them. Old man Awfully calm given the situation, aren’t you? Justin Freaking out rarely solves problem. I’m no genius but even I can figure that out. At the very least even if I can’t fight them, I should know who to avoid right? Old man Wish I could tell you boy. But the list of people who hate this land are too high to count. Justin That actually answered my question. Old man Glad I can help. Justin Later gator. Grand Hall Justin continues along his path down to the Grand Hall. He stares at the design on the doors for a moment then presses on. He sees people going about their own devices. One person stands out in particular. A young woman in a black and white kimono with jet black hair with a peace sign on her left side. She’s at the desk talking to the employees when Justin approaches. Justin Hi, I’d like one pokeman please. Worker You’ll have to wait for Ame. She should be in momentarily. Justin Hope so. She said to meet her here. Worker If you have a seat in the waiting area we’ll be able to help you soon. Victoria Hello, I’m Victoria. Justin Hi I’m Justin Wayland. Only person with a last name around here. How are you? Victoria Good. I’m setting up to challenge the league. Are you going to take them on? Justin And then some! I got a fool proof plan. Victoria Oh really? Mind sharing? Justin Train a lot and never lose. Victoria Solid strategy. You may become the champion soon. Justin Dare to dream Vicky. Dare to dream. Ame approaches the two and pats Justin on the back and dust comes out of his shirt. Ame Justin, I’m sure you’re probably still trying to deal with everything- Justin (cutting her off) I am but I already know who I’m going to share my problems with and no not my parents. Ame You can take a few days to sort- Justin I’ll be alright. Right now I just need to keep moving. It helps… seriously. Ame looks at the clearly shaken up young man and presses a button on the desk next to Victoria. Ame Victoria. Victoria Yes? Ame Would you mind letting Justin pick first Victoria Not at all. Go ahead Justin. Ame walks upstairs and Justin turns to Victoria and nods before following the league runner. Upstairs are three tables filled with pokeballs. Ame The first row of pokeballs are grass type, the second are water and the final row contain fire types. All of the standard starters from every league bearing region. Justin All you had to say was fire. Ame Not the first time I’ve heard that. Justin Serious question. Out of all the trainers you’ve sent off. How many picked Chickorita… like intentionally? Ame Out of the six hundred trainers that I’ve registered? Justin Yeah. Ame Nineteen and three of them were lost bets. Justin begins laughing hysterically and his laugh can be heard all throughout the grand hall. Ame Chikorita is a fine pokemon able to perform- Justin begins laughing harder and is sometimes unable to breath and falls to the floor, short of breath. Justin I needed that. Thank you Ame. Ame (under her breath) I like Chikorita. Justin approaches the fire pokemon and walks to the third pokeball. Justin This one. This one looks like a winner. Ame That would be Torchic… Justin That’s the one that becomes the kick-boxing chicken right? Ame Yes. Torchic’s final form is a fire and fighting type with an- Justin throws the pokeball up and a red stream of light releases a small black and red Torchic with blue eyes. Justin (screaming with his hands in the air) AND HE’S BLACK TOO! The torchic begins dancing around releasing small sparks of fire around itself. As Justin screams unintelligibly the torchic chirps along with him as the two are clearly screaming in approval of each other. Ame Is it safe to say you choose him as your starter? Justin Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Ame Good. Let’s get you settled downstairs. Justin puts the pokeball in his pocket and lowers his body and points to his head. The torchic jumps on immediately. Ame walks downstairs with the happy duo in tow. Ame Now you can setup with them. Do you have any questions for me before I leave? Justin is dancing while Torchic is simultaneously dancing on his head and spitting out small embers in joy. Ame simply waves to Victoria and the two go upstairs. Worker Sir, we need to register you. Justin and Torchic finally calm down. Justin Sorry. I’m just so happy. Worker Glad to hear. Lets answer some questions and you can be on your way. Justin Yes ma’m Worker What is your name? Justin Justin Wayland. And with me is my new best bud…. Ummm. The torchic shoots a large flame from its mouth. Justin Blaze seems appropriate. How’s it sound buddy? Blaze clearly approves with another dance. Worker Where are you from? Justin Johto region, good ol Blackthorn City. Worker My cousin and her fiance moved out there. Know a Michael… Oh my god. Justin First its Oh my Arceus and second, No. Never met him. Worker (upset) I see… Finally an emergency contact. Justin Michael Wayland Worker (confused) But you just said… Justin Later gator Justin and Blaze begin heading for the door when a purple haired youth clad in matching purple clothes and fishnets catches his attention. Cain Hey… you’re cute. Justin Not the first time I’ve heard that. Cain My name is Cain. Nice to meet you. Cain reaches out his hand and Justin shakes it. Justin Justin. Likewise. Cain Did you just sign up for the league Justin Yessir. Gonna be the very best Cain Like no one ever was? Both Justin and Cain give each other wide grins. Justin Me and you are going to get along great. Cain I hope so. But right now I have to re-register for the league. Justin Re-register? Cain looks away uncomfortably. Cain Some stuff and some things happened, so yeah… Justin Say no more. I’ve recently had plans blow up in my face too. Cain Sorry to hear that. I’ll see you around new best buddy. Justin Bye new best friend. Cain walks towards the desk as Justin walks out and the two wave at each other while yelling goodbye back and forth until Justin is out of the building. Opal Ward Justin and Blaze are walking side by side down train tracks as they approach a house and Justin stops and Blaze stops confused. Justin (excited) Okay Blaze! ARE YOU READY TO FIGHT YOUR WAY TO THE TOP! Blaze looks serious and small embers are seen rising around the small chick. Justin YOU WANT TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT REAL STRENGTH IS! Blaze looks more determined with the embers growing in intensity. Justin ARE YOU READY… Okay sorry but the joke is we wont be rushing into battle. Blaze looks upset and stomps around Justin angrily. Justin We can’t just steam roll past trainers and gyms around here. We have to train both body and mind so me and you can always be on the same page because spoiler alert I do not plan on bringing 5 other pokepals to the team. Blaze looks confused. Justin Exactly. Like most pokemon you don’t know English after hearing it a few times. So I’m going to teach you some things and by the time you’re fully evolved you’ll be able to read and write or at the very least understand my unmatched wit and humor. Blaze looks up and nods at Justin. Justin Don’t worry though. Fighting will still happen. First lets see if my bag survived the whole mess from earlier. Lets go bud. We see police are talking with fire fighters outside the ruined train station. Justin and Blaze approach two near a police car. Justin Excuse me. The cop turns and puts his hand out to stop Justin from proceeding. Cop Sorry kid. Can’t go beyond here. Justin I know but I was on that train and my backpack has some important stuff in it. Did you happen to find anything near the entrance? Cop I did find a green bag but I need to verify this belongs to you. Got a pokegear or dex? Justin Gear is in the bag but I have my pokedex. Justin reaches in his back pocket and pulls out the pokedex and gives it to the officer who opens it and looks through it and his eyes widen in shock. Cop Jeez this thing has over 600 pokemon. How long have you been doing this? Justin Like an hour. Cop How the heck do you have all of these records? Justin The person who gave it to me was a responsible adult. What kind of lunatic sends a kid out to study pokemon with a blank encyclopedia. Cop Fair enough. Well your gear and dex match. The cop goes in his car and pulls out Justin’s bag and gives it back to him. The bag has dirt and ash on it but is still in good condition. Justin Thank you sir. Cop Yeah. Just be careful kid. We caught the bomber but he isn’t working alone. If you don’t have to be out at night, don’t be. Justin Yes sir. Let’s go Blaze. Justin and Blaze walk away from the scene and see a young man standing outside a lone house. Justin Hey buddy. Mind if me and my friend study here for a bit. Stranger Mi casa es su casa I guess… Justin Thanks chum. Justin hands the guy some money then him and Blaze go to sit down and the man stops him. Stranger Hey. You can go inside. Totally empty. I just crash here a lot. Justin Thanks. Stranger Yeah… Stranger’s House Justin and Blaze are inside the empty building. Justin sets up a board and takes out a book from his bag. Justin So I know its boring but we’ll do this for a few hours a day and when you learn it well enough you can use this with ease. Justin takes a strange looking bracelet from his bag and puts it around Blaze’s ankle. Justin It’s a pokepokegear. Pretty much lets you speak into it and shows me in text and vice versa. When you get good with the language and evolve to have hands then you can type into it and boom we can fight without ever saying a word. Helpful since announcing “Blaze use fireblast” generally gets people on the defensive. So…. Lets get to it. Blaze jumps around excited. Time passes and we see Justin and Blaze sitting on the floor. Blaze has a talon dipped in ink and is writing something on a notepad in front of him. The scribble poorly reads “Blaze”. Justin Very good buddy. You can write your name in four hours without my help. My parents said it took my brother Lance like four years. So you about ready to look around town for trainers? Blaze lets out a small fire from his body and Justin hurriedly pulls away the notebook to keep it from catching fire. Justin That’s a resounding yes. Edited March 23, 2016 by Damage 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 (edited) Opal Ward It is now late evening. People are seen walking down the streets, most of them smoking. In front of one house a small Shinx is sitting atop a garbage can lazily smiling at passerbys. Justin and Blaze are seen walking train tracks towards the Opal Bridge. From the cavern fly out swarms of Noibat. Justin So Noibat are common here. Back in my day caves didn’t have dragons in them… Well one did. This is good though. We train with these guys and we will build up speed and reaction time. We’ll do this every day after studying for about three hours. In a week or so we’ll give the boom lady’s gym a go. She’s probably a fire type so it should be easy for you. Justin and Blaze make their through the underpass by some homeless people and pokemon and reach the cavern. Dozens of Noibat are seen all flying around and eating scraps of food on the floor. Justin Okay bud. I need to know where you’re at. So fire at will and I’ll guide from there. Blaze looks worried at the number of noibat and turns to Justin. Who motions him to go in. Blaze then scratches into the dirt “many” Justin Don’t worry about the number. If you get into trouble I will jump in. Go in strong and you can do it. Trust me. Justin smiles and Blaze’s demeanor becomes serious. He sees a small group huddled around each other and shoots a fireball at them from his mouth. The dragons disperse then charge at Blaze who dodges their tackles effortlessly. Blaze then looks at Justin confused. Justin You’re learning how to fight. Not listen. If I don’t tell you to dodge you gonna sit there and get hit? Blaze dodges another tackle and shoots the noibat out of the air. The three others stay idle in air staring down their sole opponent. Two of them fly around Blaze and let out high pitched screeches. Blaze looks disoriented by the dragons’ shouts and sees Justin spinning his finger. He recognizes the motion and spews out fire and begins spinning causing all three dragons to back off. Justin then approaches the fallen noibat from earlier causing the other three to begin racing towards him but Blaze jumps in the middle and the three come to a cold stop. Justin Relax. Justin reaches into his bag and pulls out a potion and sprays the injured noibat and it slowly regains consciousness then flies towards its friends. Justin Blaze you ready for round two? Blaze nods in agreement looking more excited than ever. Justin then gestures a challenge for the noibat to attack again. At first confused, the noibat look at each other and then their comrade that Justin assisted nods in confirmation and the pokemon gang all charge at Blaze again. This time three noibat charge Blaze while the last one stays behind shooting gusts at his friends to hasten their attacks and Blaze is knocked into the air and juggled by the trio of noibats. Justin Don’t be afraid to use your feet buddy. You’ll be using them a lot when you grow up. Blaze continues to be juggled until he flips in mid air and catches one of the dragon’s wings with his talons and shoots it out of the air. The remaining two distance themselves while Justin heals the fallen one and prevents it from reentering the battle. Justin When being jumped, stay unpredictable Blaze. Blaze charges up a flame and the gust blowing noibat races towards him from behind and the remaining two charge from the front. Before releasing the flame Blaze jump-turns around and blasts the noibat from behind propelling himself towards the other two who are caught by the force as all three are slammed into the wall behind them. Justin applauds everyone. Justin Good job everyone. Come get healed up. All five pokemon approach and Justin hands out food and sprays them with the potion he’s carrying. Justin Everyone have fun? The pokemon cheer and the dragons begin flying around the now dancing torchic. Justin Good to hear. Everyone take five. I’m actually hungry myself. The pokemon continue playing with one another as Justin leans against a wall a pulls a sandwich from his bag. Before he can eat it his eyes open wide and he lunges towards the small playing pokemon and blocks an oncoming bolt of electricity with his arm. Sparks can be seen from his now numbed right arm. Justin (smiling) Here comes a new challenger… The noibat flee the cave in terror but Blaze stays by his friend’s side. The small bird is clearly exhausted from its previous fight and is barely managing to stand. From the shadows emerges a very scratched up Klinkling missing a part of its revolving ring. Justin (upset) Actually “gear second” me and my buddy and I are gonna have to take a rain check. Justin picks up Blaze and begins casually walking out of the tunnel when another bolt flies towards him. He dodges easily and leaps 15 feet towards and kicks Klinkling into a nearby wall causing the wall to crack a little. Justin If the fight’s between you and me I can guarantee it wont end well. You should wait until my buddy’s ready if you’d like a fighting chance. The mechanical monster growls a little before retreating into the shadows. Justin and Blaze leave the tunnel and head back into the Opal Ward. He continues to carry his tired friend. Upon leaving the tunnel, Justin notices an apartment building and knocks on the door. Through the window he sees people inside and they wave him to come in. He sees a girl sitting next to her kricketot on a couch and he approaches her. Justin Hey there, you and your buddy just finish training too? Rebecca No… He’s been like this for days and I don’t know why. As the two talk a young girl in a green flowing dress with a white collar, wearing green stockings and purple shoes comes in. Her hair is long and purple with a large silver hoop hanging two thirds down the way of her long braided ponytail. Justin I’m not a bug expert, knew one back in Johto but he wasn’t my favorite person. Anyway even I can see- Shelly (meekly) Hello? I’m looking for a Lana. Justin and Lana turn to see Shelly standing in the doorway. Justin You’re buddy I’m guessing. Rebecca Yes this is Shelly, she’s a bug expert and good friend of mine. Shelly walks over slowly. Shelly Hi… its um… nice to meet you… End of episode 1 Edited March 23, 2016 by Damage 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 18, 2016 Author Share Posted March 18, 2016 For episode one, I decided that the main character, Justin Wayland deserves a theme song. Here's our buddy's song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cool Girl Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 OMG! Danger! This song would be perfect for the intro when we animate the reborn series! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Code: PIRULUK Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Okay, quick tips on formatting: -Your font really doesn't need to be that big. Most of us can read perfectly fine, and it kind of looks really ugly, especially since you're doing it in a script format which traditionally has immense numbers of line breaks, and hence empty space. -Try to make voiced and unvoiced lines more distinct. Perhaps you could italicise the unspoken descriptions? It vastly aids readability, and makes the work look less messy. -For a script format, the convention of the mode is to include setting descriptions in parantheses, and write everything with direct mode in the present tense. Whether you want to follow this is up to you, just thought I'd put it out there. Now for the plot: -Several characters are acting out-of-character, specifically Ame, Cain, and to an extent, Julia. Since this is a fanwork using another person's characters, you should try to keep the non-OCs as close to character as possible, as a show of respect for their original creator. -Overall, an arrogant OC with a knack for trolling and/or a cynical sense of humor isn't exactly the most original, but can still be good if well-executed. I'm going to refrain from commenting more until we get to see more of the plot, otherwise it'd be an unfair assessment. Keep writing, this certainly has some potential ^^ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 Thanks, the font size bothered me too, so I'll gladly remedy that for episode 2. I am trying to keep the characters as close to their real selves in the game. Yeah arrogant mcs have been done a lot but this fits the mold I'm going for a lot better in the long run. He generally isn't this rough I promise you. I do like the critiques and I'll do my best to implement them in upcoming episodes. Thank you again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halloween Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Okiedokie, inspired by a certain excellent thread on writing critism, I decided to give it a go. And to start it off, I will parrot everything Code: PIRULUK (what a fucking awesome name) said. It does bother me a bit that it is script format... And yet isn't script format. Script format is harder to read to begin with than a regularly formatted story, so I do think you should take it all the way if you wanna to stick with it. Secondly... I think you should go back and edit the the earlier posts as well to make the text smaller. I had to copy this entire thing into Evernote and then manually cut away all dates and usernames that came with it, and god knows I don't like to put effort into anything. It'd be for your own sake too; you haven't gotten that many reviews, and I absolutely believe that is partly because people look at your story and think "WOAH there I can't read this." Then, onto the actual reviewing. Some of these things are just what went through my head reading this, rather than things you need to change thou. First paragraph; it's campy. I love campy. Keep it mostly intact, but mind that Pokémon is spelled, well, Pokémon, capital letter and apostrophe above the e. Also, this sentence was confusing to me, but that might just be my lack of caffeine. "As the societies progress, questions find themselves at the forefront of conversation “do we treat pokemon properly” or what should we expect of pokemon." First paragraph ends with "This is the story of Justin Wayland". Second paragraph ends with "This is his story". I say give both these sentences a weapon each and unleash them on a small island - only one can survive. All Pokémon species should be capitalized too, see: Cacnea. The man is Justin Wayland a normally upbeat individual focused mainly on the moment rather than stressing the “will be’s”. Commas are awesome, just saying. "Next to him is a man wearing a black trench coat and matching fedora." sounds like the kind of dude that you don't want near playgrounds. I love the dialogue, Justin is hilarious. "There are more than just challenges to be considered here. I can take you home before such dangers present themselves." You're going through the desert in a trench coat. The guy beside you is wearing a t-shirt. You just offered to "take him home". The only danger here is you. "Justin (inching closer to the entity)" NO Justin step away from him!! "Great. Then I’m safe." NNoooo "places a pokeball on his lap" HANDS OFF LAP Julia DID YOU SEE THE BOOMIE Justin My clothes are burnt miss, so yes. I most certainly did see the boomie. Please tell me you aren’t an EMT. Julia (shaking Justin while smiling) NOPE. I’m a gym leader! Justin That’s actually far more unsettling. I love this guy. Justin for president. "You got boomied bad." Okay, as much as Julia does love her explosions, and does to some extent talk like this, she's starting to sound like a pre-schooler, so maybe tune it down a lil bit? "The league runner who invited you here." Manager. Ame is a bit iffy too, but I haven't seen enough of her in the game to comment on it, so keep at it. "Shade." Huh. I didn't think it was Shade 'cause he spoke in such concrete sentences and wasn't floating. "Freaking out rarely solves problem. I’m no genius but even I can figure that out. At the very least even if I can’t fight them, I should know who to avoid right?" Super douchy sentence, he sounds patronizing. That might be what you're going for, but I like Justin, so it bother me, haha. "Hi, I’d like one pokeman please." Like he's at a fucking drug store, go J. "Victoria Hello, I’m Victoria." I mean, sure, I got that that was Viktoria, but there for a non-Reborn reader, you might wanna draw a stronger connection between the woman in kimono and her saying this line. "Only person with a last name around here." HAH. "Justin begins laughing hysterically and his laugh can be heard all throughout the grand hall." This just sounds... Unhinged. "That’s the one that becomes the kick-boxing chicken right?" Uh-huh no mentions of real life animals. "As Justin screams unintelligibly the torchic chirps along with him as the two are clearly screaming in approval of each other." The last sentences of Justin are sounding very... Comic-like, screaming and laughing hysterically for several lines which sort of takes a away from the tone of it all. Cain Sorry to hear that. I’ll see you around new best buddy. Ooookay. This sentence. I'm wary. On one hand, it isn't that bad. I might just be reading into it. But it sounds a little bit like you just slapped a big fat "no homo, bro" on Cain, and that's sorta rubbing me the wrong way. "It’s a pokepokegear. Pretty much lets you speak into it and shows me in text and vice versa. When you get good with the language and evolve to have hands then you can type into it and boom we can fight without ever saying a word. Helpful since announcing “Blaze use fireblast” generally gets people on the defensive. So…. Lets get to it." I have a hard time with gimmicks like this; they always show up, and they rarely contribute with anything else than making the protag super special. Also, you're just gonna write during a battle? Seriously? And the Pokémon too? Uhm, moving on, I guess. "She’s probably a fire type so it should be easy for you." A guy so strategy-focused can't bother to look up the first gym leaders type, even though her gym is the biggest building in the city? Hm. Also, fire vs fire doesn't exactly equal easy, especially if she has six Pokémon and you have one. "Justin You’re buddy I’m guessing." ?? Shelly Hi… its um… nice to meet you… YASS my homegirl Shelly. So I guess that's it. I'm a little on the edge on his weird gear and the writing Torchic, but on the other hand, I love Justin as a character, he cracks me up. Can't wait for him to verbally trash Fern to smithereens. gg man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 Thanks Halloween for the feedback. Super glad you like Justin, he's a character I've been thinking about for a while now. I guess I'll just go into each note for now... "as societies progress..." This line is meant to setup how Justin feels about and treats Pokémon. He tries to treat them with a high level of dignity and respect which is why he goes to the effort of teaching Blaze things like reading and writing. Keeping characters true to the source is my first and biggest priority. I want to make sure all characters are seen here as they are in the game even Fern... That said I already know I'll skew a few times for the sake of this story or simply by mistake so feel free to call it out. I know Shade derived quite a bit but that's for setting up things that happen later (that occurred in game). I used the real life animal reference simply for Justin to have fun. Actually did some research prior and found real life animals stop existing in the cartoons in like the first season so... I probably wont use it anymore just to avoid the confusion. Cain and Justin. I did not mean to offend at all. Cain is by far my favorite character in the game just beating Solaris. I actually do intend to have them be on pretty good terms later on. I like to think that Justin is above the need for saying things like "no homo" since this is someone who treats respect and dignity pretty well. The pokepokegear. I know this is a trope used in plenty of poke-fan-fic but this is not related to the plot just Justin and his future team. The way his team will work together is a bit unorthadox without throwing in constant spoilers so he genuinely needs this to communicate with them. As far as mid battle communication goes, yeah you're right. Texting isn't going to happen lol. Justin's strategy driven mind definitely would have checked into the gyms but I had no way of getting him the information given the fact the league, as stated by characters "is poorly managed". As for the gym being a power plant, when he finally gets a chance to see it, he'll piece it together. My grammar needs work since for the most part I'm saying the lines in my head or out loud so writing it all down makes me forget commas are good to have. Fern. Gotta say I'm actually not looking forward to him and Justin's interactions. On the one hand I want Justin to beat his brakes off but on the other hand, that would subtract from Fern's character who even though I hate like no other is actually a pretty decent character since he does what the writer wants him to do. Garner your eternal hatred. I do enjoy writing and planning this series out so I'll do my best not to disappoint you with Justin's adventure. Thank you again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halloween Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Man you're so pro at taking criticism, super kudos @ that one society progress sentence, it isn't the message that's confusing, it's the wording. It's like... It's two questions in one, ya know? So happy to hear about Cain thou, he's my fave too. It's like, I look at myself and I think "all these fucking kickass independent women and he's the one you like?", but the heart wants what the heart wants ♥ And I feel you about Fern. I'm writing Reborn fic as well, and it's like... Should I write him as the irredeemable douchelord assberry he is, or should I try to make him sympathetic somehow? I need to finish the game soon, so I'll know if he gains any decency. Looking forward the next installment! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 Thanks, I'll try to fix the wording a little more. I feel you about the ladies of Reborn, only one I don't feel one way or another about is Victoria because I feel not enough was done with her. As for Fern, I hate to say but tread carefully. We all want Fern harmed in some way but I feel like it definitely needs to be earned otherwise its still senseless violence. We could go on forever so yeah. When you put up your story I'll have to check it out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) Hello everybody, here is the second episode of Justin's story in Reborn. Hope you all enjoy and if you have time don't forget to critique until your heart's content. Episode two is called "Garden Party" InT. Opal ward apartment late noon The episode picks up exactly where the last left off. Shelly has just entered the apartment building and approached Rebecca and Justin who is still holding a now sleeping Blaze. Rebecca Shelly! Thank you so much for coming. Rebecca hugs Shelly briefly before rushing her over to her sick Kricketot. Shelly Aww... The poor thing. Shelly sits down to thoroughly exam the Kricketot. Justin Not trying to sound mean or anything but wouldn't a Pokémon center be ideal? REBECCA Normally yes but Shelly is gym leader here in Reborn and her type as you can guess.. JUSTIN Is bug. Shelly looks at Rebecca while petting the Kricketot. SHELLY Your Kricketot isn't sick. It's depressed. Maybe... You could take it out more. REBECCA I would but there's a problem with the gangs around here. They make it hard to take an untrained Pokémon anywhere. JuSTIN That so? SHELLY Yes... Well... Opal Ward has a lot of bad people. Justin puts his free arm around Rebecca while smiling. JUSTIN Well lucky you Becky. Me and Shelly can be your bodyguards until your Kricketot comes out of its rut. Shelly looks taken back by Justin's proposal. ShELLY I.. don't know if that's.. JuSTIN You're a leader right? Surely a couple days away from the gym wont kill you. Of course I'm no slouch either. REBECCA Are you sure it wont be too much trouble? Shelly looks pretty uncomfortable and Justin walks over and whispers to her. JusTIN Hey, sorry to push this on you but it'd mean a lot if you could help out. Shelly glances at Rebecca then back to Justin and nods in confirmation. ShELLY I can manage a couple of days. I know a man who would let us camp in his personal garden. I used to train my Pokémon there when I came to Reborn. It's really beautiful and... Sorry I didn't mean to bore you. REBECCA Its okay Shelly, I'd like to hear more. JUSTIN Perhaps at the garden since its getting late. SHELLY (smiling) Okay! ExT. peridot ward night Shelly is leading Rebecca and Justin through Opal ward. The three stop at a crossroad by the tracks and Pokémon center. About twenty yards away is an unseemly large well kept building (for the area) with a large brick wall area protruding from the side. SHELLY This is my friend's house. He's a little scary but.. he's nice. JusTIN (curious) Pretty big isn't it? The group continues walking towards the entrance. SheLLY The building was originally condemned but Ame allowed Mr. Seacrest to restore it as long as agreed to help trainers. REBECCA But its kind of hard to get his approval since he thinks most people will just hunt out the Pokémon here. JUSTIN Why? REBECCA Aside from Grimers and Trubbish, its hard to find anything around here. Pokémon are afraid of this place. JUSTIN Hm. Shelly approaches the door but hesitates to knock and Justin knocks in her stead. Seacrest Whadday want! An old man peering through the peephole looks and sees Justin holding his sleeping Torchic. JUSTIN We're looking for a man named Seacrest. He here? Seacrest Who sent you?! JUSTIN Shelly. SeACREST Prove it. JUSTIN (rolling his eyes) Well she's next to me so there's that... SeACREST Well... Hey... What are you doing.. The door is forced open by a young woman. Reborn attendant Apologies for Mr. Seacrest's suspicions but we've recently been dealing with an increase in rival gangs attacking and taking Pokémon from our garden. ShELLY Its okay. JUSTIN Can we come in? SEACREST Shelly can. I don't know you two. ShELLY She's my... I'm helping her with her Kricketot. SEACREST And him? JUSTIN (excited) I'm here for the war on crime. Reborn ATTENDANT He's a trainer who recently joined the league. I cannot say he can handle the threat but if he's working with Shelly, its sure to have some effect. SEACREST Just treat the garden with respect. The people may be awful but the Pokémon aren't. Justin, Shelly and Rebecca nod and are then led inside by Seacrest and the attendant. InT. seacrest manor (night) We are inside a nice lobby with couches, televisions and a small but modest fountain. Straight ahead are stairs that lead to a living area and to the right is the garden with glass doors that allow us to see a myriad of bug and grass types sleeping and playing through the garden. REBORN ATTENDANT If you wish to train or camp outside there are tents and water outside. Food is kept in here to balance the bugs diets. If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask. JUSTIN Thanks. Justin, Shelly and Rebecca head outside to the garden and there are tents setup all throughout the garden. The trio find two tents under a large tree and begin unpacking near them. A few Caterpie crawl up to Shelly and poke around her and Rebecca. Rebecca releases her Kricketot and the Caterpie divert their attention to the new bug Pokémon. The Pokémon quickly begin playing with one another. REBECCA I'm glad that Kricketot is finally able to play around. Its been really hard to take it out. Hopefully around here it'll have fun. ShELLY I'm sure it will. Loud yelling can be heard and flashes of light are seen beyond the safe walls of the garden. Young men screaming "No blood, no bone no ash" pass by making everyone in the area weary. Seacrest comes outside to where our group is huddled. SEACREST That would be the issue, kids. ShELLY They... Sound really angry. SEACREST Unfortunately that's before they get riled up. Justin puts Blaze down on the grass and takes a shirt from his bag to put on his resting companion. JUSTIN Who exactly are they? SEACREST Judging by their silly war cry I'd wager Magma Gang. They've got a rival around here. ShELLY Aqua... Its Aqua Gang. SEACREST Nasty bunch of kids. Fighting over territory that neither of them own. JUSTIN My guess is their modeled after the Aqua and Magma teams that tore up Hoenn a few years back. ShELLY I think they are. One team sticks to Fire types and the other use Water types. JUSTIN Rival gangs right? SEACREST Yeah. JUSTIN Simple strategy. Take down the Fire types by teaming up with Water. When that's done we finish whoever is left. SEACREST You think it's that easy? JUSTIN How many people are in each gang? Anyone know? ShELLY I see them in Lapis Ward a lot. Magma outnumbers Aqua but the feud remains probably due to the type advantage. JUSTIN Have any idea on a head count? ShELLY Twenty and twenty-five. Seacrest is in disbelief as he gets closer to Justin. SEACREST You really planning on fighting them? They might be kids but they're dangerous and might be willing to kill. You can't possibly beat them. JUSTIN Not an overnight plan. I doubt even with Shelly's help they could be taken down in a day, even then they wouldn't stay down. No I'm going to take their attention from here and on to me. Seacrest grabs and pulls Justin to his feet. SEACREST (furious) The hell you are boy! JUSTIN I can handle this knock off team... I mean we can. Right Shell bell? ShELLY Umm right. SEACREST Look kid, I commend your spunk but you're gonna get yourself hurt if you try to tackle on gangs. JUSTIN You want to open this place up to more people like Shelly and Rebecca right? Edited March 30, 2016 by Damage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 SEACREST More than anything. JUSTIN Then you can help out by giving me a couple blue tee shirts. Seacrest rubs his bald head and stares at Justin in hesitation. SEACREST Hmmmm. One condition. If it gets nasty you turn tail. Justin and Shelly both stand up. JUSTIN We both know that's not- Shelly pokes Justin in the side. JUSTIN Turn it wag it, whatever you want. Seacrest sighs and heads inside. JUSTIN Rebecca. REBECCA Yes? JUSTIN I'm terrified at the thought of it but I need you to watch over Blaze. REBECCA I can but wouldn't he be safe in a Pokéball? JUSTIN I don't travel in a cage and neither will he. Only thing you have to do is explain to him I'll be back if he wakes up. REBECCA Alright. Please be careful. Seacrest comes back with the shirts and hands one to both Shelly and Justin. SEACREST Here you go kids. JUSTIN Thanks. ShELLY Thank you Mr. Seacrest. Justin takes off his black tee shirt and replaces it with the blue one. He takes Shelly's shirt, tears the bottom around the torso off and puts it around Shelly's head like a bandana. He tears the sleeves off and tightens them around her wrists. JUSTIN Alright Shell, you aren't very... Menacing. You're like pink Butterfree level of scary so whenever I say something tough you just tilt your head up and grunt. Shelly practices and looks more like a lost puppy than a hardened thug. Justin lowers her bandana to cover her eyeborws and she looks considerably more serious albeit still like Shelly. JUSTIN What do you think? SEACREST Like Eminem JUSTIN (smiling) Yeah.... Shelly smiles, removing any chance at her facade. SEACREST Minis JUSTIN Ignore him Shell. You look like you're "straight outta Lapis" REBECCA Pretty sure that's not the look you want. Justin sighs. ShELLY I think... Maybe...it'd be better if I changed to something I'm not seen in. I'm relatively known around Lapis. JUSTIN You change. I'll be outside. REBECCA I'll fix her up. She'll be out in about 5. JUSTIN Cool. Justin walks back into the lobby and stops by the attendant at the desk. JUSTIN Got a brown bag and a bottle of... I'm guessing you have sparkling water here. ReBORN ATTENDANT We actually do. JUSTIN Shocker. Reborn ATTENDANT This site is meant to attract people. The attendant reaches below her desk for a bag and pulls water out of a mini-fridge. JUSTIN Sorry... just nervous about fighting the cast of a west side story without a single Pokémon. ReboRN ATTENDANT It isn't too late to change your mind. Seeing Justin's nervousness she retracts the water and bag as if waiting for his answer. JUSTIN It'll be alright, not my first time fighting outside of my level. Justin takes the items and puts the water in the bag then starts walking out. JUSTIN Make sure to lock up when me and Shelly leave. We'll call when we're outside. Reborn ATTENDANT Good luck. ExT. opal ward apartment Night Justin is leaning against the building, occasionally sipping on the water when a small Luxio walks up to him purring as it brushes against his leg. JUSTIN Good evening sir. You'll have to pardon my rudeness but Esquire Seacrest has retired for the night. Now sitting, the young lion looks up to Justin simply smiling. JUSTIN Thirsty? Justin kneels down and pours some water into his hand and lets the Pokémon drink as he continues until its done. JUSTIN You look like a mon who'd be picked up in a heartbeat. Would you rather hangout in the garden instead of the streets. Luxio continues to walk around Justin and after a moment he finally notices a collar. JUSTIN Oh you have a home huh? The Luxio stops smiling and puts its head down. JUSTIN Had a home... Until you want to go back, you can hang with me, sound good? The Pokémon stares at the wall extending from Seacrest's building. It's eyes giving off a faint yellow glow. JUSTIN What you starin- The lion points directly at the corner of the wall and signals Justin to look. Justin puts up his hands in anticipation and inches towards it. JUSTIN If you want little buddy, I was about to go shopping. Dad just gave me allowance so if you need a new collar- Two thugs come around the corner, covered head to toe in red clothes and fire tattoos on their necks and arms. They both charge Justin who kicks one in the stomach and is then tackled by the second one to the ground. Justin punches the thug in the stomach and kicks him off then drags and slams him into a nearby wall and a fireball is shot near both of their heads. Justin puts his hands up and the grunt he was holding walks away. Justin turns to see them as they both stand behind a Houndour with smoke coming from its mouth. Magma Got some balls I'll give you that waterboy. JUSTIN I'm at least a bench warmer MAGMA Shut the hell up. Fork over the allowance and you wont get burned down. JUSTIN Come and get it zippo. MAGMA Houndoom. Torch em' The small pup begins to shoot another fireball but the thugs are all blown away by a barrage of rocks. Justin turns to see pavement missing from the ground and looks up to where Shelly who is wearing a black wig, torn black jeans and a blue shirt next to her Yanmega are. He turns back to the thugs who are recuperating. JUSTIN Money's over here boys. One of the Magmas stand and helps his friend up. They see their Houndour is hurt and he recalls it to its Pokéball. Both trainers send out a Larvesta and Fenniken. MAGMA For glory baby. Shelly and Yanmega move closer to Justin as the group of youths stare off. JUSTIN Michelle, keep this distance and try not to hit me. ShELLY Y-yes umm.. Michael. Justin turns his head, eyebrow raised at Shelly's cover name for him then slowly back to the Magmas. JUSTIN Cool. Justin charges forwards to the Pokémon team and jumps to kick one of the Magmas but it stopped by a Light Screen setup by the crafty Fennekin. A subsequent string shot ensares him as he is then pulled by the Larvesta and its trainer. The Fenniken shoots a fireball at him and he ducks causing the fire to burn his bonding along with the back of his shirt. Justin turns to the Fenniken but at that moment is hit by an enflamed charge by the Larvesta and into the wall. It scuttles back to its now laughing trainer. Justin turns to see Shelly is gone and two small black ear plugs are on the ground. He places them in his ear as the Magmas look on in confusion. MAGMA Hey stupid, that's not how the silent treatment works. His buddy laughs and now both Pokémon start charging up Fire from their mouths. Justin grabs the remaining String shot from earlier and throws it to latch on to the Larvesta then points upwards. The two trainers see Shelly riding her Yanmega as it launches a Screech attack. The moment it hits Justin runs towards the trainer behind Fennekin and pulls the string causing the reaction-released fire to hit the two and effectively knocking them out. MAGMA Damn it. The magma's ears have blood dripping from them as he staggers in place next to his disoriented Larvesta. MAGMA (furious) LARVESTA. NO HOLDING BACK! FLARE BLITZ! ON HIM! Fire starts erupting from the skin of the Larvesta melting the ground around it. Shelly and her Yanmega begin to descend as fast as they can but they are unable to reach the burning bug type in time and it lunges at Justin who braces for impact. Just as it about to crash into him, the Luxio's tail lights up in white and with a rather slow relaxed motion it jumps over the Larvesta and slams its tail into it and the force is enough to crack the ground around Larvesta's landing site. Everyone stares in disbelief at the small cub's strength. The magma recalls his Larvesta and begins to run but is stopped by Shelly and her Yanmega attempting to look scary but it looks more confused than anything. Justin grips the shoulder of the magma then slams him into the same wall from before. JUSTIN Hey stupid this isn't how mugging people works. MAGMA What are you gonna do to us? Justin dusts off the Magma goon. JUSTIN Nothing. You're gonna do me a couple of favors. First, stay away from this garden and leave this area alone. Do that and I promise you and your clowns will be able to walk away with bones and dignity intact. MAGMA The second? JUSTIN Tell your boss, whoever he is that I send him my regards. MAGMA Yes sir. JUSTIN Atta boy. The magma grunt picks his friend up, recalls the fainted pokemon and walks off. ShELLY Justin... Are you sure that was okay? JUSTIN Not for me but hopefully they'll leave this place alone for the time being. I'll be around here for a few weeks so I'll keep a look out. ShELLY You could have been hurt bad. JUSTIN I trained with tougher Pokémon than that... By the way thank you for the ear plugs. Screech hurt like crazy but I kept my hearing thanks to you. So yeah, thanks Shell. ShELLY You're welcome. Shelly blushes and turns towards her Yanmega to begin petting her. Justin kneels to pet his new feline friend. JUSTIN We should team up more. ShELLY I don't... You want to... Shelly turns to see Justin playing with Luxio. ShELLY Oh you mean Luxio. JUSTIN Huh? Oh no. I was talking to you Shell. You're a pretty good friend to help me out and look out for me after just meeting me. ShELLY We're friends? JUSTIN Can't see why not. You're nice and I'm obviously awesome. Now let's head inside, I'm worried about Blaze. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 Shelly recalls her Yanmega and begins walking inside with Justin following her. The Luxio walks between Justin's legs, purring all the while. JUSTIN (surprised) Hello... you uhhh, want a sleep over or something? ShELLY Looks like he likes you. Justin picks up the young lion. JUSTIN You wanna join team shenanigans? The Luxio nestles itself in Justin's arms. JUSTIN Welcome to the squad Luxcalibur. ShELLY Why Luxcalibur? Justin holds up Lux's collar. ShELLY He lost his home? JUSTIN Looks like it. If we find the owner, he'll get back. I promise. Shelly walks inside. JUSTIN (under his breath) That Lux will stay with me. Justin follows Shelly inside to see Seacrest pacing by the Reborn attendant's desk. They make their way over and about halfway Seacrest runs over to them. SEACREST Thank Arceus you kids are okay. JUSTIN Aww you were worried? SEACREST I thought Shelly might get hurt out there. JUSTIN (smiling) What about me? SEACREST (stone faced) What about you... JUSTIN You're sweet. Thanks for the concern. SEACREST Yeah, don't thank me yet. Justin a little confused, walks by Seacrest and towards the garden to see smoke rising. He then runs to see Blaze surrounded by scorched earth with all the bugs and Rebecca a safe distance away. His name is etched into the dirt all over. JUSTIN Oh no... SEACREST Yeah... Your McNuggets woke up and freaked out, burned down two trees and half an acre of green then scratched your name in the dirt over and over again. Then when it was tired it just sat down. Shelly stands shocked behind a clearly upset Justin who murmurs a few curses under his breath. JUSTIN (perking up) So I guess me and my buds will be hitting the road. Real nice meeting you all. Love- SEACREST Shut up Justin. Justin closes his mouth tight and tilts his head down. JUSTIN Yes sir. SEACREST You and team shenanigans are going to fix up the garden and encourage trainers. Maybe the flow of trainers will keep away the thugs. Along with the protection. JUSTIN I... Uhh... How long we talking. SEACREST I'll tell you when the debt's clear. JUSTIN I think the real gangster is inside the garden... SEACREST By the way your tent's over there. Seacrest points to a pile of ashes next to a broom. JUSTIN I get that you're mad but I feel like sweeping it up was a bit unnecessary. Seacrest smacks Justin on the back of his head and he begins chuckling. SEACREST Was that unnecessary? Justin still chuckling shakes his head no. SEACREST Good. Go to your fool Pokémon. Justin starts going into the garden and Shelly follows him. He sits down next to the sobbing chick with Luxio in his lap. JUSTIN Hey bud. Blaze looks up with large sad eyes. JUSTIN You think I was going to leave you here? Blaze nods his head slowly. JUSTIN Me and you are going to beat the league together. Even if its two versus seven. Me and you bud. I promise. Blaze jumps up on Justin's lap next to Luxcalibur who slowly wakes up. JUSTIN By the way we got another buddy. He's tough so as team leader, you can't slack behind. Blaze starts to shoot and ember from his mouth but Justin quickly covers his mouth. JUSTIN Maybe we find a new way to celebrate when in the garden buddy. Blaze jumps off his lap and starts dancing. Luxcalibur climbs off and sits on his hind legs to watch his new teammate dance. JUSTIN (chuckling) Good first day in Reborn. I think its about time for... (yawning) A nap. Justin falls back to the dirt and immediately falls asleep. Everyone looks on shocked at Justin's statement. SEACREST Wait what! The episode closes out with Justin's Pokémon curling up next to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 Everyone needs a theme song and this episode we tribute one for Shelly. A fitting song I feel. You are of course free to feel as you please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halloween Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 What has good formatting ever done to you, Damage? why u gotta treat it like it pissed in your shoes? anyway i'm way overdue to sleep so quick review tajm jk thou it's a lot more readable and proper, but it needs some more spaces this time, and you should proof the names - in the beginning they're not caps, and there's a lot of juSTIN, which, you know, is hilarious but kinda... no actually it's just hilarious i approve Spaces like JUSTIN I'm a lean-mean killer-machine. CAIN Take me. The scene cuts to a bedroom, and M̙͔̕ḭ̡͈͈̼̝ ̦ś̝̗̱̩m̫̪͚͚ó̝͇̳ ̙̞̝̥͔͖̳t̖͔͚̪u̱̳̪̖̘̖̩j͓̯̲̬c̀i̛̱,͖̥̭̥͎ ͙͎͖d̸̬̪͓͇̹a̵̘̜̟ ̦͚͔i̶m͖̖̭͇a̻̤̼͓̳̯͢ͅj͝o͚͔̖̦ ͍͖͎͍̫̻r̰̠a̦̗͇̥̱͇ͅdi̦̖̳̯͖̻ ̤̰̲͍͇̻̦͜Pò̬͇̣ͅz̹͕͔̤n̶̬͍͚͈̭̱̩a̡š̤̫̹̹͈̣̥ ̲̮̺̲̦p͢r̺̖͉͚͞ͅa̗̣͙̹v̖͖̳͈̗̩̘͡il̡̞͓͈a,͔͚̗̳̤ ҉p̲r̹̱a̟̻̺͇v̩̖̖̹͔́ͅ ̢̮͕̳t̖̜͈̘̕a̤̻̪͈͠k̮̭̲̜̣o ̶͓p̳͈͇a̰͔̹ ͕͔̤̝̕s̛͎̬̟͖͕͉ͅe̤͇̘͕̗̣m̡͙̮ ̟̯̳P̰̤̖͔̖̗̕o̢̞̠pol͏̹͕n҉̭̟̖̟̗̙̹a̢̲̲ ̵p̝̖͔̫͈̣̕ṛ͍̺͢e̩̦͇d͕̣͡a͙͙̺̩̻n͙͈̲͇̖o̠̻̦̩͇̞s͎͞ţ͕ ҉̙̦j̘e̞͚͙̣ ̬͍̲̝̳̻͠ͅṯ̙̫i͠s͓t͔̺͎̹̝ͅo͍͍,͍̰͔͜ ̥̭͖̫͉̺̮k̳͚͈̣͟a̩͈̖͘ͅr͕͓̞ ̤̺s͇̯̻̝͖ę̹̗m͈̝̳̪̮ ͅm̢̫̲̰i҉̞s̻l̙i̲̜̬̣̠̩̱l̙̤̙͇̝̯ ̶̫̥̦̼̩̩̳S̢̖̠̹̰̝͈a̭͟j̫̖̩̘͇̗̞ ̭̜̲̪̯͈n̼̬͎̤̜͎e b̺̭̗̣i͚̳͇̼ ̼̺̮͔d̹o̵̦͎̗̯̝b͎͉̙̳̝͜i͖l̶̫̟̣̲̫͓ ́tọ̡ ͈͉̥͈ͅi͉̲̹̳͝z̷ ̻͙̞͇͓k͉͙̗̀a͓͍̦̭ͅt̸̠̳̼e̦̗͉̲̫̣re̳g̞̰͖ạ͕̮̺̤͕͚ ̧ķ̠̭̣̺o̠l̹͚͖͍̲ì͈ ̥̮̯̹̙̫̜d͉̲̻̙͓̲͜r̲͕̱̰̝ug̳̦͔̥͡e̺g̷a̕ ̙͈f̮̺͚͖͍̻̤͞a̤͕̲͈n҉͎̞̪t̤͚a̶͕̫̙͎̘ u feel me? Shelly looks pretty uncomfortable and Justin walks over and whispers to her. She's like TWELVE (or somewhere around that i don't remember. 10-12 i think). You're swaying a literal child into hanging out in murder city, as a bodyguard. gg i do like shelly though, so i'm glad she's involved! Shelly practices and looks more like a lost puppy than a hardened thug. Justin lowers her bandana to cover her eyeborws and she looks considerably more serious albeit still like Shelly. i bet none of this is helping the fact that she's prolly like 4'5" tall enjoyed the fight scene. it was really easy to follow, despite being a fairly detailed fight, which is an accomplishment. the Luxio's tail lights up in white Luxio saving Justin?? what an unexpected development! I'll tell you when the debt's clear. go home justin i have a new fave He then runs to see Blaze surrounded by scorched earth 420 BLAZE IT!! that torchic has sum issues He sits down next to the sobbing chick with Luxio in his lap. i'm embarrassingly used to calling girls chicks, so i thought this was shelly for a second 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted April 2, 2016 Author Share Posted April 2, 2016 I used my script writing software for the format this time around. The positive is it cleans up everything nicely the downside is I don't see until now that some names weren't capitalized properly. When transitioning it over its a little tougher but I'll just spend more time proving when it gets to the site. Sorry about that for now. JustinXCain let the fan-fic of the fan fic begin lol I like Shelly too and her growth during the game is pretty great imo. I also wanted to give Justin more time dealing with certain characters to give him more to work with and his backstory shares some elements with Shelly's. You can probably guess since both hail from Johto. Torchic's freak out I debated on. On one hand its pretty intense given Justin only left for a short while but on the other hand he's a very young animal who was adopted and ditched after he couldn't fight off the Klinklang. I'm glad you enjoyed. Some part of me felt as though this episode was a little fluff but Justin's team needs to get built up to some level and I didn't want to deal with Fern yet. The time is almost here... "I'm embarrassingly used to calling girls chicks" this is hilarious. I'm trying to show as much as I can of Justin in the show's first arc. Which leads up to him getting his first badge. I hope I establish the way his team works and how Justin acts or will act in most scenarios. Anyway working on episode 3 now. If you have anything you want to say positive or negative feel free. I'm writing this with the goal to improve my writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 Hello everyone, this one took a little while what with writer's block. Always a good time. This episode takes place a little while after Episode 2. So as usual read, critique, banter or comment on my good looks. Any feedback is good feedback. Without further adieu... I bring you.. Episode 3 :The only way to win InT. Seacrest's garden (early aftnernoon) Justin and Blaze are in the garden facing off against a young trainer and his Pikachu. Blaze has grown about 3 inches taller and is noticeably bigger than last time, his black feathers are also much shinier. On the side is Seacrest with Luxcalibur in his lap sleeping, the attendant and a few others sitting in lawn chairs observing the match with their Pokémon sitting on or near them. Trainer Pikachu agility! The Pikachu begins circling around Blaze leaving after images around the arena. TRAINER You taught me a lot Justin. Unfortunately for Blaze too much. Justin I'll give you 5 rare candies if whatever you're planning works and I'll find you a thunderstone. The young boy's eyes widen in excitement. He punches his palm then points to Blaze. TRAINER Pikachu, time to catch a win. Double team! The after images double in quantity and make it impossible to trace the original. Occasionally small blinding flashes can be seen on the ground. TRAINER So five candies right? Justin laughs. JUSTIN (shrugging) Let's make it ten. TRAINER Tackle! All the Pikachus rush towards Blaze. TRAINER SMOKE SCREEN! JUSTIN (eyes wide open) Wait what... An explosion of smoke covers the field engulfing both small Pokémon. When the smoke finally clears we see that Blaze has been caught in a web wrapping around trees and bushes in the garden and the web even sticks to the walls around them. The sun gleams off the string and every so often a spark is given off. JUSTIN What the hell? TRAINER Electro web plus agility and smoke screen for added flare. You aren't getting out of this one. Now for the finishing touch. PIKACHU VOLT TACKLE! JUSTIN HEY FIVE MOVES IS AGAINST THE POKéRULES! The small mouse starts emanating electricity from its cheek pouches, ears and tail and after a moment a blue glow covers it entirely. It then pushes off the ground cracking it below its feet and beelines straight for Blaze. Justin smiles and the young trainer sees it. Justin snaps. JUSTIN Blaze Earthquake... TRAINER Pikachu fall back! The Pikachu stops abruptly and backflips towards the wall behind its trainer. It looks pained by the sudden stop in motion. Justin looks at the trainer disappointed. TRAINER What! I'm not taking an earthquake from your broken starter. Blaze spits small embers to free itself from its bonds and walks over to Justin. The energy surrounding Pikachu disappears. JUSTIN You wouldn't have. The Torchic line doesn't learn EQ. The young trainer covers his eyes in embarassment. JUSTIN Even if he did, you gave up an easy hit for almost nothing as volt tackle would of hurt a lot more than EQ would have. Don't throw away a good opportunity because of fear partner... with that I think I'm going to take me a little break and go a'splorin. TRAINER Wait Pikachu- JUSTIN Volt tackle puts a massive strain on the Pokémon. Let your friend rest. I'll be here later. TRAINER Okay. Thank you Justin. You did great Pikachu. Sorry about that bad call. Everyone claps and the trainer and his Pikachu slowly rejoin the rest of the garden's visitors. Seacrest makes his way over to Justin and pats him on the back. Seacrest Good work today boy. I almost thought he had you this time. Justin looks confused. JUSTIN Really? SEACREST Hell no. I've seen this song and dance a hundred times this week. It was still mildly entertaining. At least a six out of ten. JUSTIN Thanks. That means a lot. Both men chuckle. SEACREST What's your plan today? JUSTIN Been long enough. I think I'm gonna try my hand at my first gym. SEACREST Julia or Florinia? JUSTIN I was thinking Florinia would be easier since shes grass but Onyx has been on lockdown with said Leader investigating the cause of a floral outbreak. SEACREST Any guess on who it is? JUSTIN Who do I think is responsible for rampant vines around the grass leader's gym? Mr.Freeze probably. Seacrest raises his hand about to hit Justin. SEACREST Keep it up smart ass. JUSTIN These guys don't sit right with me. Explosions around the Electric gym, plant outbreak by the grass. Hope the dark leader isn't inside a cave or they'll probably be hit with flash bangs. SEACREST We can only hope. So if you're going to Julia there's something you should know. For all gym leaders actually. JUSTIN Specialized gyms. I know. No amount of gimmicks will be able to stop skill and intelligence. SEACREST Don't underestimate gym leaders boy. JUSTIN I don't underestimate anyone pops. Justin begins to leave with Blaze in tow but stops slowly and turns back to Seacrest. JUSTIN Umm... Shelly hasn't dropped by while I was out has she? SEACREST No why? JUSTIN She was going to tell me something about her brother last time we talked and then just sort of ran off after I mentioned disliking my older asshat. Haven't seen her since. Seacrest shakes his head. SEACREST 'fraid not. Don't worry about her too much, she's got a gym to run so its probably just cause she's busy. JUSTIN You're probably right. See ya later. Justin and Blaze continue their exit. Justin sees Luxcalibur waging his tail as Caterpie jump and tug at it. Their playing has many young and old trainers "aww-ing" JUSTIN Lux, you wanna be the very best? Like... Like I guess a few people have been at this point in time. Luxcalibur raises his paw and shoos Justin off. The small Caterpie jumps and catches his tail and starts nibbling on it. The crowd's love for the show intensifies. JUSTIN No its cool, gave you a home, food and what not but you sit around and be cute. We'll handle YOUR gym. Luxcalibur yawns. JUSTIN Let's go Blaze. Blaze puts on a serious face and spits out a large fire. The attendant sprays him and Justin with a fire extinguisher. Nancy Your fire is to be used during matches only. JUSTIN Thank you Nancy... Justin and Blaze leave the garden and walk through the now Café styled lobby dripping the foam as they walk. JUSTIN This is going to be a long day. Blaze shakes off the foam as he follows his annoyed partner. EXT. Opal Ward (Day) Justin and Blaze are walking along the tracks, he sees young men in blue du-rags and strange white tattoos looking at him as he walks. They nod and smile as our duo passes by. Justin nods back and continues on his way. JUSTIN (weakly smiling) I think that we may be part of a gang buddy. Blaze jumps up and down while walking. JUSTIN See bud that's actually not what I was going for... Blaze stops dancing and stands on one foot mid dance. JUSTIN But it keeps both gangs away from the garden so for now... Let's call it a win. Blaze continues his dance and catches up to Justin. JUSTIN Something has been bothering me since we got here. My dad told me this place was gorgeous when he came here with my mom. My parents had their honeymoon was. I know it was back when Kabutops still roamed here but it shouldn't have degraded this much. Before we take down the gym leader I want to see what's going on inside these factories. Justin and Blaze approach a closed off factory sitting by the water. There's graffiti covering the walls and door. A young man with an agitated look on his face rubs his hands through his green hair. He turns towards Justin for a moment then back at the building. His sunglasses cover his eyes but do little to hide his disinterest. He wears a collared shirt with the collar wide open showing a necklace. He has on beige shorts and green sneakers. The young man's name is Fern. JUSTIN Hey buddy. Know anything about this factory? Fern ignores Justin's question and murmurs something under his breath. JUSTIN Uh excuse me bud, just want to ask a couple questions. Fern (annoyed) Excuse me? JUSTIN I said I just wanted to ask a couple questions if you have a minute. FERN No no. The first thing. Did you call me buddy, guy? Justin looks annoyed at his question, reading where this situation is going. JUSTIN I did. That a problem? Fern laughs and gets in Justin's face. FERN Yes actually it is. JUSTIN (under his breath) Here we go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 FERN I don't think you quite understand. You think I have friends... JUSTIN I did until you started talking. FERN See the top dog doesn't have friends. Just a seat at the top of the world. JUSTIN (astonished) Are you for real? FERN I'm the realest thing that ever walked this planet. I'm also the most forgiving. If you apologize for trying to bring me down to your level then all will be forgiven. JUSTIN I think I'm going to do both of us a favor and walk away before I do something I'll regret. Justin starts walking away but Fern grabs his shoulder and pulls him back. FERN I didn't dismiss you loser. Justin starts cracking his knuckles. JUSTIN If you don't take your hands off me I may end up keeping them. Fern kicks the back of Justin's leg and he falls to one knee. Blaze immediately shoots a fireball at Fern but he jumps back and out of the way. Justin slowly stands and just stretches a little. JUSTIN You will not enjoy this and it wont be over quickly. But if any good comes out of this, it'll be you learning a valuable lesson. Fern now angry. FERN Actually you second rate trainer, you should get out your notebook and get ready for a lesson in class! Ferroseed let's go! Fern summons his first Pokémon. A small very spikey Ferroseed. FERN GYRO BALL! The Ferroseed begins spinning rapidly and rushes straight towards Blaze. Justin cocks back his leg and kicks the small Pokémon as hard as he can back at Fern who is barely able to leap out of the way, landing on his stomach. He turns to see Ferroseed unconscious and drilled into the wall. He turns back to Justin who has several gashes in his leg with blood running down his now exposed leg where the jeans have been severely torn. Fern slowly stands up. JUSTIN (holding back his anger wearing a serious but inquisitive look) Have you learned anything yet? FERN I learned that luck exists in fools too. Justin takes a deep breath. JUSTIN Blaze. Burn whatever he sends out and leave him for me. Justin rips part of his shirt and sits down to start wrapping his leg up. Fern recalls his Ferroseed and takes out two Pokéballs and throws them up. Out comes Roselia and Snivy. Blaze gives Justin a questioning look. JUSTIN (with a serious look) Hold nothing back. FERN Roselia toxic spikes. Snivy vine whip! Roselia releases spikes coated in poison from his flowers into the air and Snivy bats them all towards Blaze. Blaze catches jumps and catches one in his talon then lands in his free foot. He then jumps towards Roselia shooting three embers at it and it shuffles away from Snivy. FERN Snivy tackle. The snake Pokémon rushes towards Blaze who quickly turns around and throws the spike at Snivy who is cut and poisoned simultaneously. Blaze then coats himself in fire and charges at a disoriented Snivy and when he makes contact he clamps on his neck with his beak then charges into the building crashing Snivy between himself and the worn down bricks. He then starts gathering fire in his mouth but a vine wraps around his ankle and he starts getting swung around by Roselia. FERN Lesson number one amateur. Two Pokémon are better than one. Roselia slams Blaze down but Blaze shoots the fire out of his mouth downward, slowing the impact. Before Blaze can stand he is bombarded by vine whips from both Snivy and Roselia. Blaze looks at a very serious Justin who holds up his pointer finger with his right hand and clutches it in the palm of his left. Blaze recognizes this and rolls to his back and catches a vine with his feet. He then rolls backwards pulling Roselia towards himself. FERN Damn. Snivy Razor leaf! The small snake shoots out two high speed leaves cutting through Roselia's rope causing it some pain. However it is still close to Blaze who starts charging a flame breath while running towards it. FERN Snivy stop it now! Snivy begins charging forward but Blaze reaches Roselia first but instead of attacking he jumps up and on to its head and it falls to its stomach. Snivy has just reached Blaze who has finished charging his fire to the point that embers fall loose from his beak. JUSTIN Don't follow my example Blaze... And show some restraint. Blaze shoots fire upwards first scaring Snivy then looks down and fires at the small creature. Before the flames hit Sinvy is recalled. FERN Think I'm going to let you touch my Pokémon with those tired out embers. JUSTIN This day is somehow worse than being blown up. FERN Roselia show this scrub why you don't mess with the top dog. Roselia jumps up and Blaze jumps off of it and backs away. JUSTIN To the skies Blaze! Pink petals start flowing out of Roselia's petals engulfing the area around itself and its fellow combatants. Blaze jumps back then jumps high into the air. FERN Petal dance! The flurry of leaves flow upwards to Blaze. JUSTIN Burn it all! Blaze breathes out fire scorching all the petals and starts spinning rapidly. FERN MOVE! JUSTIN (grinning) Too late. Blaze comes to a full stop when his right talon connects to Roselia's head slamming the bouquet like Pokémon into the ground. The fire follows immediately after as it disperses across the ground like water's surface being disrupted. Roselia is knocked out. FERN No way... JUSTIN Top dog is cute and all but I'm going to follow the top bird around. Roselia is recalled and Blaze walks over to Justin. JUSTIN Good job buddy. Blaze jumps up to Justin's arms then on to his head and spits fire across the damaged playing field. He dances in celebration to his win. FERN Tell your breakfast menu not to get too excited. Just because you got lucky on my one bad day does not make it talented. And you- JUSTIN I'm going to stop you there. While I'm sure you're going to take this loss with pride and compliment me and my partner's teamwork, I think I'd prefer the mystery of hearing what you say when we NEVER and Arceus do I mean NEVER ever meet again. FERN Excuse me. Justin turns and starts walking away. JUSTIN You are most certainly excused. Fern yells as Justin who pets Blaze while walking away. FERN You better hope I don't see you again because unlike this time I wont go so easy on you, freaking scrub. ExT. seacrest's garden (Afternoon) Justin sits against the wall with Blaze next to him. Luxcalibur is seen walking out the building then over to Justin. Seacrest follows him out shortly. SEACREST (thrown off by Justin's blood) Christ kid what happened to your leg? Justin looks at his leg then up to Seacrest. JUSTIN I kicked a Ferrothorn. SEACREST You wouldn't have a leg. JUSTIN (thinking) Then the smaller one. SEACREST Doesn't change much. Why the hell did you do that?! JUSTIN Some kid got to me. Wanted to kick his teeth in, this seemed like a better option at the time. Luxcalibur looks at the wound for a minute and runs inside. JUSTIN What's wrong with him? SEACREST He just got up and ran outside, followed him out to see you here. JUSTIN Hm. SEACREST Weren't you going to challenge Julia? JUSTIN I was but I wanted to check the pollution thing and I ended up getting sidetracked from being sidetracked. I think I'm going to head over to her in a few. Just need to rest the leg. SEACREST Well if you want I could- Luxcalibur comes out with a white drink in a sealed bottle in his teeth. The young lion drops it on Justin's lap. JUSTIN Is this a soft boiled drink? SEACREST (confused) It is... How did he know that? JUSTIN (wide eyed and smiling) You actually listen to my lectures. Luxcalibur smiles while slowly wagging his tail. JUSTIN I can't believe you actually know how to listen! Justin begins cheerfully hugging and petting his gentle jungle cat. JUSTIN Does this mean you'll join me at the gym. Luxcalibur uses his tail to push Justin's arms away and both trainer and Pokémon's smile disappear as Luxcalibur returns inside. SEACREST He has little interest in fights huh? JUSTIN I think its deeper than that. When anyone gets hurt he always looks alert as opposed to his half asleep self. SEACREST Ah well, maybe he'll join the second one. For now you got a teammate for Blaze? JUSTIN Don't need one. Blaze is strongest in world. Blaze runs up to Seacrest's feet puffing out his little chest. Seacrest puts up his hands in defense. SEACREST Well excuse me McNuggets. Blaze walks away with his beak pointed upwards smugly. Justin laughs and pops the cap off his drink. JUSTIN Cheers to being undefeated in the league. Justin chugs the elixer and is instantly revitalized as he hops to his feet. JUSTIN Holy hell! How many illegal substances were in that drink? Justin kicks his bandaged leg to test the recovered strength. SEACREST Nancy says it was a special blend of soft boiled since she figured you and Blaze getting hurt would be common place. JUSTIN She has a sweet side after all. SEACREST Tell her that. Justin I like my jawline too much. It's my 7th best feature. Seacrest takes a deep breath. SEACREST And five minutes is about all I can take of you. I'll see you later boy. Good luck. JUSTIN What's a "luck"? Seacrest takes a DEEP breath then walks away from a smiling Justin. JUSTIN (feigning confusion) Blaze you know what that word means? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 Blaze shrugs and both of them laugh. JUSTIN You ready buddy. The first of our many league battles. Journey of a thousand miles and the sort. Blaze releases embers from his ruffled feathers. JUSTIN Lets go! Both young battlers run towards Julia's gym. Ext. julia's power plant Justin and Blaze run up to the wide doors of the gigantic building. It's a showcase for metalwork and industrial lightning rods. The building's roof with the same induction capabilities as shown by its vast metal wire network that connects its metal poles across the entirety of the roof. While the size of the building is imposing its yellow coloring and pink outlines take away any menacing features the gated building may have had. Interestingly "O.T.S" can be seen spray painted on the fence. Just as Justin and Blaze are about to walk in Julia comes out in a hurry crashing into the both of them. JUSTIN (strained voice) Hmmmmmm... Hello Julia. Julia (smiling and full of energy) Oh my gosh Justin. Hiiii. Did you come to visit me? JUSTIN Kind of. I came to battle. Julia I don't know if I have time. Rini is coming and we haven't hung out in like three forevers. I have to go get ready! JUSTIN Don't worry... It'll be quick. Julia's expression turns serious. Julia Oho? You do know I'm a gym leader right. JUSTIN Yeah but I'm me. I'm kind of a big deal. Julia examines Justin. Julia (perplexed) You're going to take on my six super charged friends with one Torchic? JUSTIN That's the game plan. Julia holds out her right hand with all her fingers extended. JUSTIN Excuse me? Julia Five minutes. JUSTIN (almost laughing) No seriously. Excuse me? Julia begins walking inside and Justin and Blaze slowly follow. The inside of the building matches the outside with machinery abound. Justin and Blaze look upon the workings of the gym along with all the technicians hard at work. Gates open before Julia as she makes her way to the back room. A flat arena with grey-ish white tiles and metal outlines to each one. She stands at the far end of the open gym. Julia Are you sure you want to do this? You really can't win like this. Justin crosses his arms and grins. Blaze steps in front of him mimicking his movements. JUSTIN That's quitter's talk. Julia shakes her head. Julia Another one for the boom room. Let's give them a fighting chance Magnezone! Julia throws her Pokéball forward and out comes a Magnezone. Julia Normally I give a little taunt but for unofficial matches, no need. You ready. JUSTIN More than you apparently. Blaze... Blaze turns to Justin. JUSTIN Let's end this in four minutes. Don't want to keep anyone waiting. Blaze nods in confirmation. Julia Magnezone thunder. The Magnezone releases a thunderbolt from its antenna and it hits the ground turning all the grey panels to a bright yellow that temporarily blinds Justin and Blaze. JUSTIN (shielding his eyes.) Blaze get off the ground! Blaze jumps and right after sparks shoot up from where he was standing. The light dims a little and the young duo can see again. Julia (smiling throughout) Good job. You're like kinda good at this. Not good enough though... Justin looks a little nervous seeing all the panels retain their electricity. JUSTIN Lets keep the distance. Blaze flame thrower! Julia Mirror coat. Blaze expels fire from his mouth but a small nearly invisible veil covers Magnezone. It looks mildly pained as the fire connects with its metal body but only for a moment as it instantly shoots back energy towards Blaze. JUSTIN MOVE! Blaze dodges the blast but quickly sees two large balls of electricity flying towards him and starts running but the energy continues to follow him. Justin notices a trail of sparks that kick up after each one of the small chick's steps. JUSTIN (angry) What the hell?! Julia Something wrong? JUSTIN Zap cannon is the worst move ever but with your insane gym its going to follow him. Julia You said you were more prepared than me. What's the matter? JUSTIN (shuffling and thrown off) Damn. Blaze!... I- Julia Magnezone Three more. Magnezone releases three more balls of electricity from its magnets and the five surround Blaze as he runs. JUSTIN No... Julia (smirking) That's about four minutes. Magnezone Magnet bomb. The shining UFO like Pokémon generates a metal ball above its head then it shoots at Blaze bursting just in front of him with small metal pieces clamping to his feathers. JUSTIN (thinking) This isn't happening.... Justin looks around the arena then at the floor and snaps his fingers. JUSTIN (finally clear) Blaze we have to shut it down! Julia Too late for that... Justin looks to see Blaze getting tired from the constant running. Julia You should totally take a load off. Magnet rise. Blaze tries to run but slowly floats in the air and the electric balls all stop around him floating far more gently than their danger would imply. Justin Blaze OVER- Julia Not gonna happen. Flash cannon! The Magnezone shines and absorbs the energy flowing through the arena, turning the panels back to white and absorbing back the zap cannon shots. Once fully charged a silver light engulfs Blaze and he flies into the wall behind Justin who looks dumbfounded by his first loss. Julia slowly walks by Justin recalling her Magnezone and picking up her now ringing phone. She taps Justin's shoulder as she walks by. Julia Hey Rini. I'll meet you by the fountain in 20 minutes. Just need to go and get changed and coffee. Three coffees of course. Julia is gone. Justin falls to his knees. Justin I lost... Blaze picks himself up slowly. Him and Justin lock eyes for a moment and Justin shakes his head. Blaze looks distraught and runs out of the gym. Justin Blaze wait! Blaze is gone. Justin covers his face in utter shame. Justin .... damn.... I hate losing. End of episode 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted April 13, 2016 Author Share Posted April 13, 2016 So I hope everyone enjoys this episode as much as I did. Three fights may have been a little much but they're kinda my favorite thing. Anywho this week's theme belongs to Julia. A song (if you will) that I feel she would be very likely to play at any party she wants to liven up. If it somehow hasn't with her insane presence alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 Hello all, for everyone who has been checking out the series sorry about the hiatus but a lot of film projects take up my time which is awesome but I really like this story and of course working on my writing. This story has never left my mind so if I can share it with all you cool people then I'm all for the effort needed. So a small note before starting, this episode isn't too heavy on Justin so if you come just for his HILARIOUS one liners then I'm afraid you'll have to come back next time. No this episode focuses more on his teammate Blaze the Torchic and Luxcalibur the Luxio. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it and if you have a moment leave a comment. Criticism is my favorite dish so serve it up. Anywho here is episode 4. "The Rising Phoenix and the King of the Jungle" Ext. Opal ward Home We focus on a small home by a fountain in the Opal Ward. An older man clearly coming home from work walks up to the door, unlocks it and goes inside. Narrator We should never overlook nor underestimate the creatures we share our home with. They have their own lives, stories and personalities. An African proverb goes "the ability to speak does not make one intelligent" If we can keep ourselves from limiting this notion to intelligence we can safely say our non-human bretheren have like minds where they seek to live their lives in mental prosperity and happiness. We peer through the window of the home to see a small boy playing with a similar sized Shinx. The man from earlier is seen taking off his jacket and shoes. Boy Hi daddy. Father Hey kiddo... What'd you do today? BOY Me and Luxcalibur played tag. FATHER You were careful right? BoY Yeah! A tired mother walks into the living room to see the rest of the family. She locks eyes with her husband and he knows she means business. He slags his way into the kitchen kissing his son on the head and petting the small cub Pokémon. Mother That thing has to go. FATHER What happened this time? MOTHER I swear to you all it did was try to open the back door. Joey was teaching it and it ripped the handle clean off... FATHER So I'll buy a new door knob. MOTHER (angry) Look at the door dear. The father walks through the kitchen and see everything from the knob down has been torn off. He looks at the doorway in disbelief. MOTHER One swipe. I'm afraid to get near it. If that monster put in a small amount of effort, it'd kill me before I hit the ground. FATHER I'll train it. You know he loves that Pokémon and around here a guard like that is very appreciated. MOTHER (angry) You have one week. FATHER (half smiling) One week. MOTHER ONE. WEEK. ExT. opal ward bridge Several Noibat can be seen cowering outside due to the growling and gear crunching sounds coming from within the cavern. Blaze walks past them all, his feathers occaisionally giving off sparks from his previous encounter. He has tears rolling down his face but sadness doesn't move his legs, anger does as his feathers stop emitting electricity and begin to release fire. NARRATOR Weak. We all feel some level of weakness upon losing. Some turn this outcome into a new form of strength. For others it is debilitating. Blaze walks down the dimly lit corridor. A few lamps still active from when this underground railway was used for travel. Growls and gears echo simultaneously and grow louder as the brave chick walks through the perilous chasm. Two gears launch out from the darkness at Blaze but he dodges one and spits fire, melting the other. A growl is heard as a large broken down Klinklang floats from the shadows. This Pokémon has clearly been through countless battles. The metal ring that usually orbits the metal monster is missing by half. Electricity rises from the ground around Klinklang as he growls become roars. Likewise the flames coming from Blaze grow in intensity. Blaze begins charging towards his enemy and jumps in the air to deliver a kick to his giant of an opponent but a light flashes at the point of contact and Klinklang remains unscathed. Klinklang's lightning engulfs the both of them as he tackles Blaze into a wall, breaking slightly into the worn concrete. Blaze falls to the ground and looks upon his monsterous opponent in sullen disbelief. Justin's words echo through the tiny chick's mind. Justin (V.O.) I hate losing. Blaze struggles to rise to his small wobbling legs maintaining eye contact with his enemy all the while. Blaze runs back to the Klinklang and jumps on top of his barely floating ring then fire bursts free from his body scorching Klinklang and leaving black burn marks across the monster's body. The Klinklang roars ferociously as his gears spin almost out of control. Blaze uses his talons to scratch into the ground 5 short lines parallel to each other. He then puffs his chest and wipes out one of the lines. ExT. opal ward home It is a relatively nice day with kids playing along the tracks. The small boy, his Shinx and the father are training together. The father is holding up a small ring and encouraging the small cub to jump through it. Upon closer inspection several rings already lie destroyed on the ground. FATHER Okay kitty. Without hitting me or the ring or the fountain or the house or the missus... For the love of Arceus jump through the gosh dang ring. BoY You can do it. The boy pets his kitten friend which only proves to excite the small animal and break his already limited focus. FATHER Hey buddy, lets not break kitty's concentration or he might break the ring again...and dislocate my shoulder. BOY Sorry. FATHER Alright. Jump through it. The small cub jumps through the hoop and the boy begins clapping as a metal clang is heard. The dad sighs as he slowly turns to see a street post has been pulled out of the ground by the Shinx's might. FATHER Good job... I always wanted to fix a signpost. BOY We can help. FATHER No... I think you two deserve a nap. BOY Cmon! The boy waves to the Shinx and they both run inside laughing. As the two run inside the boy's mother comes out. Her hands are bandaged up from bruises. MOTHER I'm sorry honey... I know you want to try with it and keep him happy but... It's a dangerous animal. When it gets older and stronger and you know it will. He could get hurt or worse. FATHER I know... I'll talk to him tomorrow... Hope he'll forgive me. InT. underground rails Blaze's battle with Klinklang continues but his use of Overheat has caused his energy to plummet. Klinklang launches out several gears at Blaze who is able to dodge the first but is barraged but the subsequent attacks, one of the gears hits his ankle and bruises it enough for him to limp. Another gear is shot, this time electrified towards the weakened Blaze but a gust of wind causes it to miss. We see a couple of the Noibats used the limited wind to save their new friend. The leader of the Noibats latches on to Blaze's back and lifts him into the air. The small Pokémon all nod to each other and the second round begins. A small ember escapes Blaze's mouth as he chirps adamantly. The airborn team races towards Klinklang with Blaze at the forefront. InT. seacrest Garden It is slightly cloudy out and Luxcalibur is sitting in the middle of the garden next to Seacrest who is tending bushes with Rebecca. Small Pokémon occasionally try to play with Lux but he is trying to sleep and doesn't acknowledge anyone's presence. Rebecca Has he been like this all day? Seacrest Yeah. He's actually pretty lazy. He'll join me and Nancy on our walks but doesn't seem to like doing much more than sleeping. REBECCA Ohh. SEACREST I almost feel bad for Justin. He says this cat is a fighter but he sure doesn't like fighting or doing anything involving effort. REBECCA I'm sure he'll find another Pokémon that likes fighting. SEACREST Yeah, not too worried about it. Besides a guy like Justin attracts fighters. I'm sure another will turn up eventually. Luxcalibur suddenly jolts up and runs towards Seacrest and Rebecca and pushes them away from the bushes and they fall to the ground a few feet away. Before Luxcalibur can move three molotov cocktails fall and explode at the bushes catching Luxcalibur in the mix. SEACREST LUXCALIBUR! A couple of Magma members climb over the wall into the garden. Some laughing at the wildfire. One more Magma sits on the wall with a mean mug on his face. Smoking a cigarette and a Darmanitan climbs and hangs on the wall next to him chuckling. He wears a red tee shirt and black pants. A tattoo of fire with a #3 inside of it. His hair is gelled back and he has a burn on his left hand. Darm Heard there was some kid name Michael who wanted to meet the man around here. Tell him Darm is here to play. SEACREST He isn't here. You thugs can just get the hell out of my garden. DaRM Sounds whack old timer. Why don't you call the police... Oh wait they went and got themselves trapped in Beryl failing to save half my squad. Makes me so mad I have to vent. Darm Jr... Care to vent in my place? The Darmanitan next to Darm spits a flamethrower across the garden burning more trees causing all the Pokémon to run inside. SEACREST Rebecca, go inside. REBECCA What about you? SEACREST I wont lose this garden again. Not to these punk kids. Rebecca goes inside helping the Pokémon to slow to flee. DARM Alright, the old man still got a little fire in em. Show em what real fire is. From the flames Luxcalibur jumps out and on to one of the Magma's backs. He stomps hard enough to slam him into the ground then roars. DARM Morning kitty. If you kept the nap going you wouldn't have to get your ass handed to you by Mr. Hot shit himself. Lux bolts towards Darm with electricity emanating from his every step. Blue sparks cover the ground he stomps on and he leaps towards Darm but Darmanitan flips around and punches Lux through a tree and into the ground. One of the goons laugh but less than a moment later Lux is up and leaps onto the goon's head and uses him as a springboard. He collapses into the ground and Luxcalibur uses Iron tail while spinning towards Darm but is blocked by Darmanitan. DARM Trying to beat my boy in a game of power is like trying to take over the streets as an Aqua. Its fucking impossible. Still funny as hell. The Darmanitan and Luxcalibur trade blows as each of the fire infused punches clash with Luxcalibur's flurry of iron tails. He occasionally shoots out lightning but it is dodged by the agile primeape. SEACREST Where the hell is the boy when you need him... We zoom in close to Luxcalibur's face as he jumps back from Darmanitan, he's opens his fierce jaws wide and readies a lightning attack from his mouth. InT. OPAL WARD HOME NARRATOR How long do we let our past shape us? Is it something to let go or learn from? Does it take strength to become stronger or is it our weaknesses that propel us forward? What is it that truly makes us grow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 The next shot we see Shinx yawning sitting next to his young owner who is playing with a gameboy. The child lays his head on Shinx's body as he plays. The small cub looks around for a moment then closes his eyes and goes to sleep. The boy's father and mother walk into the living room and stand side by side in front of the boy. FATHER Hey champ... Can you put down the game for a minute? BOY Yes sir. He happily turns his game off and places it on the floor then looks up smiling at his father while petting his resting friend. MOTHER We need to talk about your mon- FATHER Your Pokémon. We like him but... BOY But what? MOTHER He's dangerous and he needs to go. BOY No. He's my best friend and he likes to play. And he's the only one who can ever find me in hide and seek. MOTHER I'm sorry but he has to go. BOY NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM LEAVE! The boy's willful smile has been broken and is quickly replaced with rage and sadness. Tears flow down his sorrowful face as he pleads his parents to overturn their decision. BOY HE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME. I WONT LEAVE HIM. MOTHER He has to go. He's too strong, he breaks everything. His playing will get worse. When he gets stronger and older or if god forbid he evolves, he could seriously hurt us and it could be on accident. BOY But- FATHER We don't think he's bad son. He's just too much for any of us to handle... its for the best. The small lion cub wakes up and smiles unwittingly towards his future ex-owners. He purs lightly and walks slowly around the uncomfortable room. FATHER I... Think we should get going champ. The small child is speechless and drags his feet towards the door with the small cub following behind him. Just as he reaches for the knob his lion guardian bites his shirt and jumps away from the door. In bursts a Charmeleon and in an instant the door is torn in half and blood drips on the carpet of the quaint home. The mother horrified looks as her husband's arm is missing and lays mutilated on the ground. The Charmeleon is clamped to the wall by its claw. A man dressed in red and black garbs walks in wearing a toothy grin. Magma No blood. The Charmeleon jumps off the wall and begins swinging wildly at the defenseless father who does his best to maintain distance. His torso getting cut up even with successful dodges. MAGMA No bone. The mother screaming as she falls to her knees. MoTHER Please Arceus stop! MAGMA No ash. The small cub emanates electricity as he stares at the imminent threat. His child owner hugs him tightly. BOY Don't fight. They said you're dangerous. MAGMA No kid. I... am the danger. MoTHER Why are you doing this? MAGMA For glory baby. BOY You stay here. I will stop them and mommy wont make you leave. The Shinx's sparks die down as his small owner stands tall. He runs towards the Charmeleon and kicks it during its assault on the boy's father. The flame Pokémon haults and turns to the angry child and cocks back its arm as if to strike but the father takes this opening to grab its arm with his remaining hand and flips him over his body and slams him into the ground. He then looms over the shaken up Pokémon furiously. FATHER Don't you dare touch my fu- Before he can finish his sentence the Charmelon lets loose a flamethrower upwards that consumes his upper half and burns through the roof of the house. The father's torso and face are heavily burned with all clothes above the waist missing entirely. MAGMA Don't stand in front of a Fire mon's face brother. My boy spits hot fire. Oh and runt... The Magma kicks the boy and he rolls across the room. His mother goes to attack the thug but he punches her in the face and kicks her to the ground. The lights in the room start to flicker. InT. sEACREST GARDEN Luxcalibur's fight against Darmanitan continues. He has taken a few blows as his eye and tail are both bleeding. DARM Damn meow mix, can you just die so I can chill until this Michael guy gets here. And is anyone else alive. A Magma grunt stands slowly raising a Pokéball but Luxcalibur runs from the Darmanitan and clips his leg and catches the Pokéball in his mouth then crushes it with a mighty crunch. He spits out the remains and a Missingno comes out slowly from the wreckage. Luxalibur looks on in horror at the digital monstrosity but it is shattered as Darmanitan punches through it and continues his assault on Luxcalibur who due to the flames that surround him and the barrage is taking constant damage. He jumps back to get some space behind a tree only to see a Caterpie that has been too afraid to flee. DaRM Darm Jr. I want that kitty burnt in the next ten seconds. The flaming ape monster turns and salutes to his owner with an unsettling grin. He cocks back for a haymaker and swings full strength tearing down the tree. After the tree falls we look in the air to see Luxcalibur holding the Caterpie in his teeth. He lands and slowly places the Caterpie down then his two front legs give out. SEACREST Luxcalibur! Seacrest runs out in front of Luxcalibur. You leave this animal alone. He's done. DARM Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't I in control of this situation right now? SEACREST Screw yourself. DARM Would if I could. Darm Jr. Belly Drum. The wild fire Pokémon beats its chest feverently until it begins bleeding, even its ribs crack at the immense slams. As it bangs on it's arms, chest and forhead veins all pertrude past its skin, muscles doubling in size. The flaming eyebrows far more prominent. DaRM So ladies, don't know if you've caught on but the next one is gonna hurt. So we gonna tell me where Michael is or you gonna die like dumbass friends that don't know when to quit. SEACREST Go team Aqua. DARM Not your best choice of dying words but far from the worst decision you've made I'm sure. Lightning strikes the ground all around the garden. Sparks rise and the lights coming from Seacrest's manor flicker. DARM Oh this is all ominous and shit. I wonder who is gonna win, the guy whose been wrecking shit or the dying old man and beaten up house cat. InT. OPAL WARD HOME We see the father crawling over to his son to shield him from the rampant Charmeleon's flames. MAGMA This isn't your lucky day folks. But if it makes you feel better, I'll have a few more dollars in my pocket by the end of tonight. The father manages to stand holding his son while taking fire blasts to the back. He walks towards the door but is stopped when the Magma places his hand on his shoulder. The thug pulls a knife from his pocket as his Charmeleon walks up close. The two are ready to strike but before they do lightning strikes through the hole Charmeleon created earlier and hits the Shinx. A flash of light later and it has evolved into a Luxio. InT. SEACREST GARDEN All the energy from Seacrest's garden collects as lightning strikes Luxcalibur's back and a blinding light causes everyone to shield their eyes. From the light emerges the electrified lion king. With a noble roar the flames are all but extinguished. He jumps towards Darmanitan. InT. OPAL WARD HOME The newfound Luxio leaps towards the Magma goon and his Charmeleon, he bites down on the tail and rips it off with relative ease and then charges the group pushing everyone outside into a nearby fountain except the small child. With a roar another bolt of lightning strikes himself while in the pool of water effectively ending the fight. The mother runs outside to bear witness to the atrocity. She sees her husband, the thief and the Charmelon all burned to death in the brown pool of water next to the angry young lion. The child rises to call for his friend. BOY Luxcalibur... He finally passes out from exhaustion. The young Luxcalibur walks over to the boy but his mother runs between them. MoTHER STAY AWAY! Lux's countenance goes from anger to concern as he sees the mother's fear. MoTHER YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND! GET AWAY FROM HERE! STAY AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK YOU MONSTER! Luxcalibur looks distraught with tears rolling down his furry cheeks. Accepting the matter he runs away from the harrowing scene. InT. SEACREST GARDEN We return to the scene after Luxcalibur leaped to see him crashing into Darmanitan upon impact the superpowered primeape explodes into pieces but the leap goes farther as he crashes into the wall below Darm causing the Magma admin to fall. DARM Holy shit. Darm stares at the furious lion drenched in blood as it stares back. Their eyes locked Darm recognizes this as his end. Luxcalibur builds up energy and lunges forward. DARM STAY AWAY YOU MONSTER! Before impact Luxcalibur stops in his tracks, completely frozen in what appears to be fear. Darm takes this moment to crawl to a nearby manhole and slither into the sewers to safety. SEACREST Luxcalbur! Luxcalibur looks on in fear at his senior friend. He looks around then runs away from the garden down the streets. InT. UNDERGROUND RAILS Blaze's fight with Klinklang alongside his Noibat team continues. The three Noibat circle around Klinklang pecking at it while Blaze and his Noibat friend shoot fire and fly overhead. Blaze chirps a bit and the other Noibat start blowing tailwinds behind Klinklang pushing it towards Blaze and the lead Noibat. The duo flies forward shooting flames at the metal giant who is unable to stop itself. It roars as it gets close. Blaze spits out a flamethrower burning Klinklang further and it roars in pain. It releases electricity, knocking out the three weaker Noibats. Their leader looks on in fear. ExT. SEACREST GARDEN (1 week ago) Justin and Blaze are training in the garden. Blaze is attacking Justin with kicks and pecks. Justin is able to block all the attacks with little effort. JUSTIN Keep it up buddy. Blaze readies himself to shoot an ember but Justin raises his hand in protest. JUSTIN All your fire attacks consume energy and your stamina still isn't anything great. Besides when you reach your final form physical combat will be your M.O. So let's keep that up. Seacrest walks out from the manor and into the garden. He sees the young fighters and walks over to them. SEACREST You boys working hard today. JUSTIN Of course. We need to prepare to OHKO Julia and her demolition squad. SEACREST Plan of attack? JUSTIN Hit em till they stop hitting back. SEACREST Truly a tactitionary genius. JUSTIN Duh. SEACREST I know you think you're good. JUSTIN (scoffs) Uh... Think? SEACREST But let's say you do lose. How do you plan to switch it up. JUSTIN Do you see Blaze. Do you see the perfection in Pokémon form that is Blaze. Can you comp- SEACREST I can't right now. I have to be at the Grand Hall in an hour. JUSTIN (confused) That's down the road... Seacrest walks away slowly. SEACREST I know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damage Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 JUSTIN Blaze. Blaze walks closer to Justin looking up curiously to his sparring partner. JUSTIN Odds are that one day and only one day. We will lose. Not anytime soon obviously but one day. If that time comes. InT. UNDERGROUND RAILS Blaze and the Noibat leader are on the ground getting barraged with a hail of lightning attacks from afar by Klinklang. Blaze sees the Noibats being constantly assaulted and picks himself up. JUSTIN (V.O.) We get stronger and we fight again. Blaze starts releasing fire at an exponential rate. A bolt of electricity knocks him down again. JUSTIN (v.O.) If we lose again then we rise again. Blaze stands firmly again, the flames growing more erratic. He gets shot down again JUSTIN (v.O.) You might be wondering what if that just doesn't work. Blaze stands again now completely engulfed in flames. Klinklang shoots an electrified metal disk at the inferno. JUSTIN (v.O.) Well then no need to worry. Because it means we kept trying until we died. The flames disappear to show Blaze has evolved into a Combusken. His talons, claws, legs and eyes are jet black with black ruffled feathers going up a line on his chest. The remainder of his torso a brilliant red and orange hue mixture. His right arm is raised to show a white light around his hand where the metal disk was about to connect. Justin walks into the area to see his newly evolved friend facing his foe with a determined look on his face. JUSTIN Blaze... You evolved... Staring in shock at the white light. JUSTIN Holy shit you learned protect? Blaze nods his head and the metal disk drops, cracking the concrete. JUSTIN Well... Finish your fight friend, you don't need my help here. Blaze pounds his new fists together and fire bursts from his limbs. He then charges Klinklang and gives it an absurd combination of punches and kicks that slowly lift it higher into the air. When high enough Blaze kicks it into the ceiling. The monster falls to the floor, its gear is slowing down but it isn't finished as it starts charging electricity. Blaze jumps a foot into the air and curls up for a moment to charge up fire, he then opens himself up and the energy releases engulfing both himself and Klinklang in an Overheat attack. When the smoke settles Blaze slowly walks from the defeated scrap pile towards Justin. JUSTIN Blaze, I'm sorry. I did not react well to losing. I'm sorry if I hurt- Blaze hugs his first friend tightly and Justin reciprocates. JUSTIN I know how it feels being looked down on Blaze. So I want you to know it wasn't your fault. It was OUR fault. We win together, we lose together. The two separate. Blaze nods. JUSTIN So then... Let's take these guys back to Seacrest, they need serious attention. Blaze grabs Justin's shoulder before her can walk away. Justin turns in confusion and sees Blaze raise his arm and make a fist. JUSTIN You've been waiting a long time to do that huh. Blaze smiles and the two fist bump. JUSTIN Congratulations buddy. We cut to outside the bridge-tunnel to see there is a rainstorm. JUSTIN Dang. Let's get back quick bud. ExT. julia's powerplant Luxcalibur as a young Luxio sits between wires and power consoles outside Julia's gym slowly wagging his little tail. After sitting for a moment rain picks up and quickly turns to storm. Luxio looks up as lightning strikes and thunder roars. Lightning hits the ground in front of him and from the flash comes a giant four legged Pokémon. It licks him on the face a bit which does nothing to raise his spirits. Lightning strikes again and we see its form clearly in the night. It is Raikou and it speaks with a stern but soothing femenine voice in a broken dialect. Raikou Son... Strong... Humans... Fragile Luxcalibur turns away and covers his face with his tail. His mother moves the tail from his ashamed face and picks up the young cub to his feet. RAIKOU Choice... Sadness... Or try again... The young cub lets out its fiercest roar with is overwhelmed by the thunder. His legendary mother roars and it pierces all sound in the city and the heavens. People all over the town are seen wondering where the loud roar came from. Luxcalibur begins wagging his tail cheerfully and running around his mother. RAIKOU Be happy... My child... The young cub rubs his face against his mother's leg and lightning strikes and we see Luxcalibur as he is in present day alone in the power plant's field. In the distance, past the fence, Justin and Blaze are running past and catch a glimpse of Luxcalibur. JUSTIN Holy crap, is that Lux? Did he evolve too? AM I GOING TO EVOLVE NOW? Blaze take these guys to Seacrest. I'll catch up. Justin puts the young dragons on Blaze's shoulders and he runs off towards the garden. Justin runs around to see Luxcalibur scared and backing towards the gate. JUSTIN Luxcalibur... That is you right, otherwise this was a bad decision. Luxcalibur looks around nervous then lowers himself and covers his face. Justin approaches with caution. JUSTIN What's wrong Lux? Justin's phone rings and he picks it up. JUSTIN Hello? SEACREST Finally got the power back on. Justin, you need to find Luxcalibur he was hurt protecting the garden. JUSTIN I found him, what happened. Ss everyone okay? SEACREST Yeah. He... Scared off the thugs but one of their Pokémon didn't survive. When the kid called him a monster he just froze. I called for him but he ran off. JUSTIN I see... I think I got this. I'll be back soon. Help Blaze, he has injured Noibats with him and he's on his way to you. SEACREST Got it. Justin hangs up and sits down facing Luxcalibur. JUSTIN Lux. The lion ignores him, keeping his face and his shame covered. JUSTIN Lux, you look at me right now! The scared animal raises his head and looks in fear at his friend. JUSTIN I don't know what happened to you before. I may never know. But I do know that what you did today wasn't wrong. You only lift your lazy ass paws to help people. I get now why you don't like fighting. You don't like what happens when you fight because you clearly hit hard. Luxcalibur's expression settles a bit, his fear replaced with curiousity as if hoping Justin understands his plight. JUSTIN But if you run from this, your problem will not be solved. I can help you. Then you can play with your buddies in the garden and not worry about hurting them. Luxcalibur runs over to Justin and pounds his paws lightly on Justin's chest. JUSTIN If you're asking do I promise then yes my friend. I promise. Luxcalibur rubs his face against Justin's while bellowing in a combination of sadness and happiness. JUSTIN This is a totally new side of you which I am super glad to see and all but its raining and we're in a powerplant. One unlucky strike and- Lightning strikes but before hitting the ground it miraculously bends upward and back to the building. JUSTIN (terrified) Can we please go now. Luxcalibur picks Justin up and throws him on his back. JUSTIN (terrified) Wait, we never practiced this! Luxcalibur then jumps out of the power plant. Raikou stands atop the building watching her son and his screaming partner run off. RAIKOU Stay happy... My child... End of episode 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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