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Pokémon Vanguard is peak!!!!!

New theory dropping tomorrow!!!

I've swallowed myself but the fever remains
I'm numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain
If I showed you my soul would you cover your eyes?
If I told you the truth would you dare me to lie?
(I keep it all inside because I know the man is everything but kind)
 
one of the first songs I ever heard from one of my all time favorite bands, ironic as hell looking back, now that I know what the song is about. No wonder I gravitated toward it so much. I do fucking love MiW. 
 
in other not news (let’s be honest my life is not exciting) I’m still alive, though I guess that’s obvious… I AM posting on my sad lonely little corner. Anyway if by some chance anyone sees this and bothers to read this far, hey welcome to my lonely corner, feel free to stay awhile it’s likely the only company I’ll have for the foreseeable future friendless as I am, hope your havin a great day/night, hope your staying hydrated and eating enough. Hope things are going well for ya, make sure your takin good care of yourself, but treat yourself to something nice when ya can, life’s too damned short too live without fun. Though all things considered I really shouldn’t be givin advice of any kind… if anyone is unqualified to give advice on sparking joy and taking care of oneself it certainly isn’t me. Given just how miserable I am. But I suppose if others are doing well the world is all the better for those who are worth something to be doing better than I’ve been. 
 
real talk time I suppose, given that I’ve kinda taken this little corner to journal when I find a moment and maybe my struggles will resonate with someone somewhere someday, or maybe my time will go wasted like it always seems to, effort spent for nothing, as I remain alone and forgotten by the people who told me they’d be my friends and have my back. But I digress. I can only hope that my lamentations of life and misery can be worth something to someone. Perhaps then my lonely little life will have served a purpose and done some good. (Especially considering how damn useless I am irl haha) either way if anyone bothered to read this far, I don’t want pity, or even attention. All I want is to ensure that if there are others who feel the same to know they aren’t struggling alone. And that no matter what
 
 
you are worth so,SO much more than you think you are.

AHHHHHH
 
 
  why isn’t it October yet, the wait for ninja Gaiden 4 is KILLING ME😭

And seeing bright red, when it's shaking my core
Can fuck up your head and fill it with thorns
When words are a threat, you can't take anymore
I leave you a wreck, yeah, when I'm speaking in swords
Know I should stop myself before it gets worse
But it's never what I do
 
-palisades “hard feelings”
one of my absolute favorite songs. And yea it’s relatable as fuck.

Sigh…. Rereading my writing always hurts. Whenever I’m proud of something I write I come to hate it in time. It’s never up to my standards, and part of me thinks it’s because I WROTE IT. Like damn I know I hate myself but…. Fuuuuck. I’m so sick of shit being shitty all the damn time. This world fucking sucks ugh. Would it KILL the universe to throw me OR my family a bone without a catch?! Seriously I knew our luck was bad but wtf we can’t have anything nice. 
 
rant over ( I think) 
hope everyone’s doing better than me.
 
although that’s probably not hard.
 
 
fuck.

I’m bored. Again. I’m bored again.
 
that is all.

Here's Pokemon Rejuvenation : Light, Darkness and Shadow. It’s Hero Character story. When girls are going for a party night for most of the girls, things don’t go as expected for certain someone :
Melia : We’re going for a party full of girls.
Venam : And we decided to gather most of us girls.
Erin : So you boys can’t come. I’m deeply sorry.
Reina : I might enjoy it to the fullest.
All boys (Except Lopez) : Ah, come on!
Lopez : Well, good luck to you all.
Venam : Plus, someone gave our permission to have only one boy to accomompgny us.
 
Boys want to know who’s the canditate.
 
Melia : Lopez!
Lopez : OK- WHAT?!
Boys : WHAT?!
Lopez (downright serious) : Who gave the idea?
Melia : It was Crescent’s idea.
Lopez : That doesn’t surprise me at all.
But I believe it’s just an misunderstanding. How worse can it be?
Venam : Every girls agreed to have you here.
Lopez : Seriously?!
Erin : I heard that, too.
Reina : I loved the idea.
Lavender : You’re coming with us whatever you like it or not.
Aelita : So, what’s going to be?
Lopez : Uh oh!
 
Five minutes later. In Central District.
 
Lopez : Why I’m forced to go with girls? What did I deserve such a thing?
Erin : I displeases me to force you to do this but you need to overcome the obstacle of talking with girls.
Aelita : You might be the best of us but you still have been recently avoiding us as well.
Melia : You need to know that we’re here for you and we’ll help you as much as we can.
Lopez : Not reassuring when it comes to girl’s party.
 
All girls gives Lopez puppy eyes look to him except Erin. Both Lopez and Erin aren’t impressed at all.
 
Lopez : It won’t work on me.
Erin : Because it doesn’t look impressive anymore.
Melia : Any idea, sis?
Erin : Oh, I have a better idea.
 
Then Erin gave Lopez a sharp seductive eyes look to him.
 
Lopez (blushed) : OK. You got me.
Melia : Why does your charm work on him?
Erin : Let’s just say he has a thing for white hearted girls with sharp eyes as one of his preferences.
Venam (Shocked) : …
Aelita (Down on herself) : Aw…
Melia (Smiling nervously) : Hahahaha…
Lavender : Oh, my!
Reina (Pouting) : No fair!
Erin : OK. Maybe I said it too soon!
 
Note : Punishing Gray Raven is making more emotional as I’m holding my tears for that. I feel like a heartbroken angsty child somehow. See you next time.

Here's Pokemon Rejuvenation : Light, Darkness and Shadow. Here's the Dark Character Story. While corrupted Axel is wrecking out in his own path (during backstory between Pearl Route and his fate in Hospital of Hope), both Clear and Kieran are having a conversation :
Clear : Geara was a predictable loser. No wonder I’m not surprised.
Kieran : Considering things are getting tough as a rock. Or a metal.
Clear : Stop with those puns. We’re doing what’s best and interest for Team Xen. It’s just business.
Kieran : You always say about 'business' part. It’s getting old and boring.
Clear : I’ll let that slide of what you just said.
Kieran : Come on. Since the death of Eden, you’ve been acting weird.
Are you scared, by the way?
Clear : Those words means nothing to me.
Kieran : I’m just saying.
Clear : That girl Lorna denounced the name I gave her. She really figured it out she’s been deceived.
Kieran : Why did we need her, anyway?
Clear : To use her as a scapegoat, of course. So the truth won’t come out so easily.
Well, not that I like the haircut I gave her. She really looks stupid as ridiculous.
Kieran : At least, the plan worked initially until they found out the truth, anyway.
Clear : Not most of the truth to the entire people of Grand Dream City.
Kieran : What will we do with this boy named Axel?
Clear : Yes, I know. We awakened a sleeping giant. Never thought it happened so sudden.
I prefer leave him for a while as we keep an eye on him.
If anything goes against our favor, we’ll be forced to interfere.
Kieran : This kitty cat is about to cross into stray cat territory.
I’m wondering how the corruption will reach to the apex.
 
Note : We saw Mega Dragonite design and its type but not the rest of it. It shows how new Mega Evolutions will apprear. And we also saw a bit of what Pokemon Champion is capable of. More features are returning. Good times. See you tomorrow.

Here's Pokemon Rejuvenation : Light, Darkness and Shadow. It’s Hero Character story. In 3rd Layer HQ where Axel (who’s taking Nim new persona the hardest) and Nim (who has crisis of conscience) have a conversation :
Nim : Look. I’m sorry about what happened.
Axel (Refusing to look at Nim) : …
Nim : You don’t want to answer. I was awful, wasn’t I.
Axel : First, you hide about your health. Second, you were about to be throw into lava while being petrified.
Third, you were manipulated by that redhead manipulative psycho.
And fourth, you hurt my friends.
(Showing a sinister dark aura) And fifth, you refused to listen to reason.
Nim (Scared by Axel’s dark aura) : Axel…?
Axel (Dark aura) : And you call yourself a guardian angel? Debatable…
You never saw me as a friend. Just a means to an end.
Nim : That’s not true. I’m here by your side.
Axel (turning back to the front of her) : You think so…?
Because if you were my friend, you would have told me earlier about your sudden health issues.
I feel like nobody, not even you, cares about how I feel about you.
Nim : You’re wrong. Everyone wants to help you. Including me.
Axel (Dark aura) : Have they asked for help? Not like they did need my help when I was there for them.
Ever since my moments back at Axis High University.
You never understood my biggest suffering in the entire history.
Nobody helped me when I was at the lowest point of my life because they were too stupid to understand me.
And you’re the same as them.
Nim : …
Axel (Dark aura) : I felt like I’m left behind.
But I’ve learned an important lesson.
Why should I count on so called friends when I will take everything away from these ugrateful failures?
Nim : Axel, listen. You don’t understand…
Axel (Sudden black eyes) : You know what I have else to say :
 
Axel eyes return back to normal and his dark aura dissipates for a moment as he’s leaving, leaving shocked and appalled Nim alone.
 
Melia : Is everything alright?
Nim (Guilt-ridden) : No need to worry. I have everything under control.
I do hope that things will turn out just fine.
Melia : Me, too. Let’s go.
Nim : Lead the way.
 
Note : That’s the moment where Axel’s start of darkness occurs during Pearl’s Route. And Nim unwittingly set it off at the worst possible moment. Well, I’m hoping to see what V14 will be. See you next time.