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ROLL TO DODGE: DWARF FORTRESS EDITION


Chevaleresse

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rules are simple: do an action (ex: spawn, craft pokeball), I roll a d6, and you get the results (die determines effectiveness), there are no other rules

ALL CAPS ARE ENCOURAGED

SPAWN LOCATION: IN FRONT OF DARK FORTRESS

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SPAWN AS ELF (I like elves, don't judge me...)

ENTER FORTRESS

(1) YOU SPAWN AS AN ELF

ELVES DONT EXIST

YOU DIE

(RESPAWNING IS A THING BTW)

SPAWN AS TRY-HARD!

DOIN' BARREL ROLEZ INTO THE FORTRESS!

(5) YOU SPAWN AS A TRYHARD WITH 1337 SKILLS

(1) YOU BARREL ROLL INTO THE FORTRESS

THAT'S A WALL

YOU DIE

SPAWN AS MUDKIP!

TELEPORT INTO THE FORTRESS!!!

(5) YOU SPAWN AS A SHINY MUDKIP

(5) YOU TELEPORT RIGHT NEXT TO SOME SWEET LOOT

SPAWN AS GIANT DEVIL MECHA.

ENTER FORTRESS BY BLASTING THE FRONT DOOR AND EVERYONE TRYING TO STOP ME WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF DAKKA.

(3) YOU SPAWN AS A HUMAN SIZED DEVIL MECHA

(5) YOU BLAST THE DOOR AND EVERYONE CURRENTLY OUTSIDE THE FORTRESS

YOU GAIN +1 TO ALL ROLLS INVOLVING DAKKA

(one action per turn please)

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SPAWN AS BLACK MAN!

SEARCH FORTRESS FOR BACK ENTRANCE!

(3) YOU SPAWN AS A RANDOM BLACK GUY

(6) YOU FOUND THE BACK DOOR TO THE LOST TREASURE ROOM OF ULTIMATE TREASURE

IN FACT, YOU FIND EVERYTHING

YOUR HEAD EXPLODES FROM KNOWLEDGE

YOU ARE DEAD

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THE NECROMANCER'S LEFT HAND ATTACKS YOUR UPPER LEFT ARM WITH IT'S SHEEPSKIN CLOTH. THE SEVERED PART FLAILS OFF IN AN ARC.

YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK DOWN.

YOU CAN'T STRIKE DOWN THE GM

ALSO YOU DIDN'T FORMAT THAT CORRECTLY

YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK DOWN.

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GOES ON A BLOODTHIRSTY RAMPAGE TO ANIHILATE EVERY SINGLE DWARF IN THE FORTRESS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WHILE SHOWING THE EPITOME OF OVERKILL WITH WARHEADS AND MORE DAKKA IN THE PROCESS.

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GOES ON A BLOODTHIRSTY RAMPAGE TO ANIHILATE EVERY SINGLE DWARF IN THE FORTRESS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WHILE SHOWING THE EPITOME OF OVERKILL WITH WARHEADS AND MORE DAKKA IN THE PROCESS.

IT'S A DARK FORTRESS SO ITS FILLED WITH GOBLINS BUT OK

(1+1) YOUR DAKKA EXPLODES IN YOUR FACE

-1 TO ALL ROLLS

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RESPAWN AS SEAL TEAM 6!

ENTER THE FORTRESS IN SEARCH OF BIN LADEN!

(3) YOU SPAWN AS A MEMBER OF SEAL TEAM 6

(6) YOU SEARCH SO THOROUGHLY THAT YOU REALIZE BIN LADEN IS IN THE REAL WORLD

YOU LEAVE THIS UNIVERSE

(dammit i knew i should have saved the warheads for the evil overlord... and they're goblins? .... oops.)

USES POTION TO HEAL WOUNDS

(3-1) YOURE A MECHA SO IT JUST MESSES UP YOUR CIRCUITS

YOU NOW HAVE -2 TO ALL ROLLS

SPAWN AS GAWDZILOL!

GRAVITY DEFYING KICK THROUGH THE WALL!!!

VICTORY BELONGS TO THE TITANS!

I MEAN THE GIANT MUTANTS!

(6) YOU SPAWN AS A MONSTER SO LARGE THAT YOU CANNOT SUPPORT YOUR OWN WEIGHT

YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK DOWN.

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SPAWN AS WARBEAST

ENTER FORTRESS LOOKING FOR SACRIFICES

(2) YOU SPAWN AS A WAR BOBCAT

(5) YOU FIND MANY DELICIOUS SACRIFICES, +1 TO ALL ROLLS FOR THE NEXT TWO TURNS

TAKE LOOT!

SEARCH FOR MORE LOOT!

(3) YOU DON'T HAVE HANDS BUT WHATEVER

YOU PICK UP THE LOOT

(2) YOU FOUND GOBLINS

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