I'd be lying if I said I "understand" your situation. For now, please be safe.
I'll stay on the practical side of things.
Because what I -can- totally relate to is the part of your feelings and the reality about being a financial burden, and feeling like something was "the last chance to fix your life" - which also seems to be the crucial aspect for you these days, am I getting that correctly?
Once you'd be on your own two feet, everything be -so- much better?
In that case, maybe there is some line of work you enjoy? Look at the possibilities for that. And don't be fooled - you definitely don't need an academic degree. If vocational training is as far as you want to go, you can become happy with that too. Plus, you can return to an academic education at any later point in time if you ever desire to do so again. Make up your mind about that. Choose what feels right for you - and for you only.
People like us can try to give advice or find soothing words. But only -you- can really start things off. Don't hesitate to take your life into your own two hands once more!
I wish you all the best.
