Bearadactyl

Happy Holidays, Reborn Family. 

TW: Suicide Mention;
 

So, a few years back; I had kind of hit this point of absolute rock bottom; I made a post about it here and my overall state after a particularly bad moment, not sure if anyone here totally remembers it or if most who were around when I posted it are still even here.

But, in the post I mentioned where I had gotten to a point where I was ready to take my own life; I had climbed up to the top of a parking garage to jump off but wound up not going through with it.

Today, I revisited that spot for the first time since. I did it with my current love interest; mostly because she wanted to take pictures from the top of the parking garage, the view is actually beautiful. But, getting to the point; on the exact point that I stood the night I wanted to just jump and end it all, someone had carved in to the concrete "Don't Jump."

And, I really don't know how to take it. Or, what to feel. I don't know if it was in response to a stranger who saw me that night, or what. But, I have this heavy feeling from it now. It's not a bad feeling, part of me wants to just believe that even some stranger out there cares about a random person hitting rock bottom like that. And, if that's the case, I wish I could find and thank that person.

I'm in a much better place now, and if anyone wants to ask, yes I'm okay. I'm more okay than I've ever been to be honest.

It's hard to believe I was ever at that point now; between the abuse of my family, the abusive relationship I was in at the time, and just so many more compounding factors from struggling with my own identity and who I am to no one wanting to actually listen or care about what I wanted; the trauma is still there, but now I'm with people who accept and love me for who I am. Both my love interest, and my new friends. And, I really can't believe the difference it makes just having people willing to let me be who I am and still care about me in the end.

I kind of feel like I'm just typing this for typing's sake at this point, but, I needed to let it out somewhere.

And, when you wake up,
Everything is going to be fine.
I guarantee that you'll wake up in a better place,
And in a better time.
So you're tired of living,
And you feel like you might give in.
Well don't,
It's not your time.

And even if it was,
I wouldn't let you go.
You could run; run; run; run; but, I will follow close.
Someday you will say "that's it, that's all;"
But, I'll be waiting there with open arms, to break your fall.
I know that you think that you're on your own,
But just know that I'm here. 
And, I'll lead you home,
If you let me. 

Hiroshima, 1945, August 6, sixteen minutes past 8 AM.

Who really gave that order?

Reminder that Subnautica is still free on the Epic Games store until Dec 27th then Super Meat Boy will follow until January 10th; I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't played it yet.

Minimum Requirements are pretty low, too; even on low settings I'd still say it's a great game.

Minimum Requirements:

OS: Windows Vista SP2 or newer, 64-bit

Processor: Intel Haswell 2 cores / 4 threads @ 2.5Ghz or equivalent

Memory: 4 GB RAM

Graphics: Intel HD 4600 or equivalent

Mood:

The new Hitman movie actually doesn't look like a complete and total disaster like the first one.

What have you brought home?...

"Why are you always so angry?"

You know, I would like the answer to that myself. Though, I doubt it's any one thing in particular.