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No stranger to rejection... but this one takes the cake!


Cepheus

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Soooo... first of all: if any female reading this, can give me a solid explanation what actually occured in her (the woman I'm going to talk about) head, I'd be much obliged...

 

so without further ado, let me get started:

That woman is Co-Worker of mine. I started at the company about a year ago, and we've been getting along pretty well so far, you know joking, having fun and that stuff, and I acutally kinda liked her from the start.

We are currently sitting back to back to each other...

About 1 1/2 months ago we got a new co worker in our office (before you go and shout - "I know where this is going!" - That new Co-worker has nothing to do with it) - So we needed to put in place a new desk for him to work at - so we seperated my and another co-workers desk to put his new desk in between - which in turn put me closer to that woman, like at arms reach.

It was at this point when SHE STARTED being all flirty - as I said we were now at arms reach, and she always started poking me in the sides... I didn't mind, because I enjoyed her company and laughter.

In time I answered her flirty behavior with my own and it always went back and forth, so much that the other female Co-Worker (and her best firend), started calling us out as being all lovey dovey, or little love birds and stuff

And that continued... until yesterday...

 

You know... I'm a pretty shy guy, when it comes to stuff like this... so I took the last week and try to come up with something to ask ask her out... So I found out about some local festivities that would go on over this weekend...

So I prepared myself like the whole for it, and yesterday I actually went and asked her out...

 

As from the title and why I'm writing this now, you can propably imaging how it went... yeah, not in my favor.

She actually admitted that she liked me, and that she was actually flirting with me the whole time.

But then she told me the following:

"I've been seeing that guy I met two weeks ago at a party... so I can't go out with you."

 

NORMALLY - Ok ... no big deal ... I was to shy/slow to make a move sooner... shit happens... all cool, life goes on... (I'm used to it)

 

... ... Now... ... If you didn't realized it by now, let me spell it out for you:

She has been flirting with me for 1 1/2 months - including the past 2 weeks of dating another guy!

 

WHY?!?!?

Why would you date one guy and continue flirting with another, for two weeks???

 

Also there was NEVER any mention of this guy in her conversations with her Co-Worker-BFF (remember - arms reach, I could hear their convos pretty well)!

And they tell each other EVERYTHING! - So that Co-Worker-BFF must have known that she was dating that guy - and still continued with her "love birds" comments!

 

And now, I knew today would be a rough day, because of that whole situation... but WOW

suddenly: all these two are talking about is that guy she is dating! - THE! WHOLE! DAY! (oh, yeah, and occasionly poke fun at me!)

and with me clearly able to hear all of it... I did what I never did in that whole year I've been working there... I put BOTH my headphones in and blasted music at 100% Volume! (normally I only have one in at about 30% so I could hear if they were talking to me about work stuff - yeah, we are allowed to put on youtube and stuff... because the actual work is boring as hell...)

 

And then they even have the nerve of calling me "bitchy", when they can't shut up about something I clearly don't want to hear.

Oh yeah, and whenever I wasn't in the room (you know, lunch break, toilet etc.) a few seconds later you could hear them bursting out in laughter.

Seriously how did they expect I would react? - All happy go-lucky?

 

I'm super mad, I'm furious. I feel stupid and used like a playing-toy.

and If the DC Lantern Corps would be a real thing, you can bet that I would have a Red-Lantern Ring (Wrath) on my fingers since this morning.

 

anyway... it helped at least a little bit typing that out... but if anyone could give me a better insight into what she might have wanted to accomplish with that... please go ahead...

I'm going to punch a few things over how I didn't abide my own first rule: "Don't plan anything - it WILL go wrong... like everytime"

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first of all, if you gotta talk bout things like this sometime, my PM box is always open and I'm told I'm pretty good at listening.

 

now for the topic at hand, (sorry for the upcoming pun, trying to brighten the mood a little) I've seen a lot of cake taking, but this takes the cake.

I have no idea why she would keep flirting with you, yet I can understand why they called you "bitchy". While I don't agree with it, it has to do with that she's all happy and with you being down about it, she and her BFF likely felt like you were bringing them down as if you weren't happy for them. I've been on that end before so I know what I'm talking about there. in any case, she is in the wrong in this situation and you should try to forget her ASAP. 

 

and while the situation isn't the exact same, this song probably speaks your mind:

 

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Look, while some of the stuff is uncalled for like calling you bitchy, it is possible she just acts like that generally. Some people just act in a kind of flirtatious manner with the friends, because that's their personality. Therefore they don't realise that what they are doing is viewed as actual flirting to the other person, as they do it to all of their close friends. Therefore when the coworkers call you love birds and so on, they consider it to be a joke, because to them, you are nothing more than close friends at work. 

 

That being said, the way she has acted after you asked her out has been pretty inappropriate. While it may well be motivated by a sense of awkward confusion from discovering you had feelings for her, it doesn't justify persecuting you for putting yourself out there. If she's actually a good person, she'll see what she's doing is wrong and stop mocking you, and if she doesn't then that suggests that she lacks compassion and you probably shouldn't be going out with her anyway. 

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