GreyShadow

Happy pride month!

to most likely just me again….

Yea I have a tendency to rant, sorry future me who happens to read this back, I just know your gonna hate me more for that. 
(me, us, we, you, my head hurts lol)

but since I’m you from the past, you’ll have to forgive yourself/me for being a sad person once in a while with nowhere else to say anything. Could we have written this on a google doc sure, but do we REALLY want that safety risk with how most major corporations cozied up to trump. 
 

you though no right? 
of course you did your me, albeit probably more level headed and less horribly depressed, unless your re-reading this alone at night again in which case depression-ception I guess.

fuck I hate me. And I’m guessing you feel the same way future me.

for all that can change in this world the one constant in us is that we are forever incapable of loving ourself. Right…

it’d be funny if it was our reality 

Welp… I’m alive, so…

that’s a thing.

look I’m gonna be honest I’m not doing great, I have no friends, and nobody to talk to about anything. So I’m gonna use my lonely little corner to vent this morning. Ok

ok. 
 

yea I feel like shit, physically I feel tired but as per usual my sleep schedule is fucked up beyond belief, I’m bored out of my mind again because 1 I’m broke af, and 2 there are so few decent games coming out these days it’s honestly depressing (I have really high standards for video games, I don’t want a masterpiece kind you but I do want a good story and good gameplay with as little padding as possible please no more unnecessary puzzles) official Pokémon is trash imo there hasn’t been a game halfway decent since hgss, we finally got some kh news… missing links development is canceled… “but but grey” I hear you saying “we got screenshots of kh4” 3 screenshots most of which is more SORA, I am so tired of sora omg, riku is my favorite character and he got shafted so damn hard in kh3 it hurts. Back to my main point I guess, I miss when jrpgs where like ff4, ff7, kh2, pokemon gen 4/ colosseum/xd, I miss the experimentation of games from the 2000s, I’m sick of how formulaic and by the numbers every game is, despite the flaws I loved dragon age the veilguard (and there are ALOT of flaws) my enby ass loved seeing taash grow into themselves, had fun with romancing neve, enjoyed playing a rogue and all the speedy combat I liked the story I enjoyed the conclusion, and despite all it did good it was review bombed to death because there were lgbtqia+ characters and minorities… DRAGON AGE HAS ALWAYS HAD THAT… ughhhh the world pisses me off, now half of BioWare is gone and the chances of ever getting another dragon age are at an all time low. A franchise I recently got into with inquisition (had a great time there but didn’t like having to play a man or a woman, veilguard really kicked ass with the inclusivity truly amazing!!!) I hate how few games don’t let me be… well me, ya know. I just want to be able to escape this shit hole of a world into one where hope still exists and the premise that you CAN change shit is not so far lost to the average people… I’m sick of this capitalist hellscape we call a country, I genuinely hate so much of the world right now is absolutely exhausting. I’m sad. I’m alone. And I really don’t have a whole lot going for me irl, I’m socially awkward, mentally ill, not particularly attractive, asexual (for some weird reason that’s a problem for some people idk, why does my sexuality matter, why does that make me lesser in so many peoples eyes) I’m an amab enby which leads to more isolation as even online I don’t feel particularly welcome in LGBTQIA+ spaces because for some reason people just assume that means I’m a man perving OR a trans girl in denial. I am neither of those things thanks VERY MUCH. So yea, lonely as hell, with nothing to do and being alone with my thoughts these last few months really hasn’t been good for my mental health. 
 

and before anyone asks yes I’m aware everyone can see this. 
 

there’s really no reason to hide it, not that anyone will read this haha… 

that’s why I said this is my lonely little corner, nobody comes here but me. Why not use it to catalog anything at any moment I have the strength to say something. Cuz I know someday I won’t even have that anymore. 

I'm bored so i figured id write something here, a bit i was thinking about from the fan game that never made it off the ground. rip project ravensong. this is entirely off the top of my head sorry if its not great. sleep deprivation and boredom aren't particularly conducive to great writing.

Grey- Its never quite that easy is it, Omni? we always seem to be chained to something whether its our past, our friends, or some bullshit destiny. We never seem to spread our wings enough to take flight, so much for my title "the black raven" HA only thing black about me is my clothes. 

Omni (silvally) quietly studies the recently defeated tyranitar lying unconscious in the gaping maw created by its shadowbreaker attack before looing up at its dear friend and ally.

Grey- I cant help but wonder sometimes ya now, Auron are you awake in there? Your heart still beats within Omni brother. Does your fire still burn?  

Omni lets out a sound that can only be described as confusion and understanding's intersection

Grey- 19 deaths. 19 people died to make us. my friends and their partners make up your DNA. Your heart is my older brothers... and how many lives did i take when cipher held my leash.... damnit 

the experiments that created Omni and made Grey a "shadow" human were brutal beyond words.

Infernum- CHARRRR

Grey- there he goes again ever since he was cured hes been insatiable, battle after battle. i know hes a charizard, but damn, the only thing i could ever be grateful to Ares work for... infernum is still alive.

My partners remain by my side even as we travel to atone for what we did, not that we had much choice as a kidnapped child soldier but damn if interpol wasnt ready to give me the death penalty even as a teen ha... i should probably thank looker one of these days. 

i wonder if Hades has had any success on his end, he DOES owe me for helping him escape cipher at great cost to myself...

Grey looks at their blackened right arm "fucking shadow regice man..... who does that to a 9 year old."

Ares was a cruel man beyond any measure, seemingly ageless and tireless in his pursuit of power.

he began the cipher zero division after being deemed to dangerous by the Orre branch. with few members and many shadow pokemon he took to kidnapping children form poorer districts in various regions. He hit the jackpot with Grey's home region, a place lost to history and without a name. Where the current champion only a teenager and a few scientists were crafting another mewtwo with the dna of a young child and their charmander.

Fallen- Grey the sun sets and Cerberus agents have not come up to the surface. the echoes of the unknown only grow in volume as we remain here.

Grey- for a mewtwo your being overly cautious...

fallen is greys shadow mewtwo and in many ways twin brother, the project was started by their parents and carried on by their brother and then shadowfied by ares during the 10 years Grey was enslaved.

Grey doesnt use pokeballs for any reason whatsoever, as to them its the same as the treatment they received from cipher.

the pokemon they use are typically "freaks of nature" or otherwise outcasts. chose by giratina multiple other legends followed suit. darkrai seeing a waking nightmare in them chose to lend them its aid, rayquayza aids them as Hades has deoyxs, zekrom aids them in their ideals. and others. They come and go as they please. and do as they like each pokemon is a dear friend and ally rather then pet or otherwise. 

Grey is a person of few words when it comes to speaking with other people, few know them better than their pokemon. They have a few human friends like Hades a man who shares their trauma and seeks to understand the world order to right such wrongs. Hades currently seeks to know the history of their shared home. a region wiped off the map prior to the Kalosian great war, the region fell to ruin in mysterious circumstances despite its apparent wealth and power that allowed it to push back the Kalosian alliance for 30 years. 

Most of the region was swept under the waves and much of what remains is an ashen wasteland where these youths grew until they became weapons of cipher. A region only remembered for war and the only known trainers forced to be dogs in the war of another, these youths were never given a chance. Destiny was calling, and it would not allow chance.

Arceus- My children i take it things proceed apace, i have little time left, the unknown claw at my mind ever louder.

Giratina- Father... yes Grey is nearly ready but must this be the path? but...

Arceus- Giratina, ever my loyal son, ever the compassionate heart. Forgive me for the role you have been given, to be reviled by mortals and family alike must hurt you unlike anything i can imagine. 

Giratina- id bear that burden unto eternity if it meant there could be another way...

Palkia- i shall prepare the arena, it should be ready in mere months, father i hope you find peace in the end.

Dialga- i had hoped to have more time with you my lord... no... father, to see your very arms consume you like this...

Arceus- my children my eldest sons, you have long known my sickness would take me from you, i had made a bargain with powers i did not comprehend to gain strength enough to make someone anyone, the loneliness was unbearable. I regret nothing for my greatest joy was the creation of you all, the world and all who live upon it. The unknown are powerful when allied to another, they are a parasite, this fact alone eluded me then, no longer shall i sit idly by while they tempt those who i created, those who i love. they seek to have my power, and so they shall. it will unmake them, my beloved children, human and pokemon alike shall rise to the challenge and one shall bridge the gap.

destiny is never left to chance.

i can only hope they'll forgive me for placing them in even tighter chains.

2 months passed and despite everything cerberus org seemingly vanished leaving only their assets and miraculous inventions behind, Grey was lost, but worse than the confusion, was the abandonment, a dear friend up and vanished....

Grey- the region is almost up and running, lets hope Steven comes through with the funding and supplies from devon corp.

a new region would rise from the ashes of a past long buried a place where the best would test themselves, no pokeballs allowed. Only champions or former champs would make it in. the best of the best.

little did they know they'd need the backup soon....

Grey- its actually kinda nice to have resigned from champion duties across the ENTIRE PLANET! do you have ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO BE IN EVERY REGION AT ONCE!

Steven- no, i never tried to become champion of any other region let alone all of them at once, id have no time for Wallace.

Grey- yea i had no time for Thorne, right sorry we're friends here, Amy. 

Steven- Did you just correct yourself and act less formal with me... huh progress, wonderful.

Grey- shut it nepo baby.

Amy- "snrrrk"

Steven- i have no earthly idea why you decided to go out with her of all people, shes just so... 

Amy- says the guy that married WALLACE!

Steven- YOU WANNA THROW DOWN BITCH- i um *ahem*  please refrain from insulting my husband.

Grey- Amy, i fuckin love you.

Amy- hey what other region has a prof that was former sinnoh camp AND a famous singer! course ya love me, plus im hot~

Grey- ya know im still ace right love, sex will never be on the table, BUT you might be~

Steven- im leaving.

Both- *laughing hysterically"

Amy- you have to be the dirtiest minded ace ive ever met. I love it despite the edgy exterior your just as much a chaotic little goblin as me!

Grey- i mean i neer claimed to be anythin else love.

Amy- you makin fun of my accent since im from Galar?!

Grey- babe, my moms from Galar... sooo no?

Amy- im fuckin with ya, ya know since i cant-

Grey- ya know what we CAN do though, especially now that nepo babys gone?

The two kiss

Amethyst (amy) thorne is a former galarian punk bands lead singer and then sinnoh champion. 

these days shes a professor focusing on battle tactics and pokemon cries.

her first pokemon was a toxel and her ace is a spiritomb. shes a complex person with a wicked sense of humor and the only person who was willing to walk up to Grey and ask for a battle. Bold, decisive, stubborn, chaotic. and driven. Every single aspect of her is the reason they ended up together.  They met when Grey was still working as an informant for interpol ( not really by choice)

she was the first to give them a choice. a simple battle posed as a question. but a choice nontheless.

Things were good.

things are never allowed to stay good.

Hades would return with cerberus org. but they would not be the same. 

Upon the arrival of the final competitor, Astran nox current johto champ. events would be set into motion that would change the history of the pokemon world.

Upon the skies doth the raven sing, upon thine ears doth it cry. sing me a song of sins.

serve, slay sin, woe be upon all of me. my sins, for i hath slain, for i shan't serve,

sever my arms 'fore i am chained, send me upon the world a dog of war, 

sin, serve, slay, fun, feast, flay, peace be upon the demons again.

loose me upon the world, hear evil, see evil, do evil.

-Ravensong Chronicles (regarding chapter 0 Grey skies)

for anyone who might be curious, Grey is a character i started coming up with a long time ago, ironically they ae where i go My own name, Auron is my older brothers name, Amy is a character i created based entirely off my ideal friend/partner, Steven is steven stone, Wallace is well Wallace from R/S/E i always pictured the two as gay idk why they would be an interesting pair to see. Hades is a original character, Ares is as well, Astran is and used to be partially based off an ex-friend and no longer is given his abandonment of me. my thought are messy and unorganized so im sorry if its hard to read its hard to type fast enough for my brain

like i said before no planning went into this, its MEANT to seem disjointed.

i know its long and probably incoherent, let me know what ya think (who am i kidding nobodys gonna read that) 

Aaaaaaand it’s almost been a month again.

welp shit, not much to say but

stayin alive stayin alive stayin alive 

Annnnd its almost been another month since I said anything…

well shit.

im doing better (the us still f*cking sucks)

im alive, that hasn’t changed (obviously since I’m posting here)

annnnnd that’s about it

I LIVE, no really I’m still alive. 
 

that is all, go about your day/night.

Probably should have said this earlier but as of a few months ago pokemon ravensong has ceased all development (not that there was really any at all lol) and the friend I began working on it with has ghosted me completely, I have no idea why he just up and blocked me on everything. Oh well. Sucks but that’s my life ,

y’know. And could have used a friend in these dark days.  Gotta love the good ol’ USA being awful, just so awful. To anyone that sees this and needs someone to talk to just shoot me a message. I’m here for anyone that needs it! Hope everyone’s doing better than I am these days. God, getting diagnosed with diabetes, the government trying to destroy the LGBTQIA+ community, AND having the same shit lick I always have, could anything else go wrong….. y’know what don’t answer that, I’ve come to learn that when I’m right, I wish I wasn’t. And when I’m wrong, I’m still right about the worst part of whatever it was. It’s like a curse being right as often as I am, I’m not the smartest or most interesting person but damn if I’m not good at pattern recognition within people’s actions ughhh. Well sorry for being so negative, I’ll leave you with a nice character speech I’m going to come up with off the top of my head in my sleep deprived state, that should be fun right?!

”In a world that values light and flair, where being showy and extravagant is the norm and the only way to be accepted, where the actions of the few supersede the needs of the masses, in a world like this it’s the shadows and the silent that more often then not serve the best interests of those same masses. The broken and the damned, the lost and the lonely, they are all too aware of the nature of this place, for they have nowhere they fit, a puzzling puzzle piece lost in a sea of legos and action figures. People show you their true selves in the darkest moments, when they do trust your eyes. For like me you’re lonely, like me you’re silent, like me you are reviled. The masks we wear are masks of color and life, but we are anything but alive. 
sometimes the strongest among us found our strength in the simplest ways, for me it’s because I had no other choice. I became strong because I had to. But I do not subjugate those weaker than I, my strength is used to protect those around me. A shadow ever clinging to the light, ever silent, yet there all the same.” 
 

this probably would have been a nice character moment within project ravensong given I was thinking of my character while writing it, alas it shall never come to pass.

anyway hope everyone’s doing well! Have a good…. However long it takes me to write something here again lol

Hey everyone I’d say how’s it going but I honestly don’t expect anyone to respond, it’s cool tho. Hopefully everyone is doing well. I’m ok-ish, I think I’ve gotten to a point where I know I’ll never REALLY be 100% ok.

annnnnyyyyywayyyy. 
this is another request for some help, again can’t pay worth a damn I’m broke as hell. Passion project and all that, anyone who’s got any talent regarding anything when making fan games is welcome. Message me or respond here and we’ll talk. I don’t have any social media anymore sooooo, yea communication will be a bitch but we can figure it out. 
 

beyond that however I just wanna say have a great day/night. Stay safe, and keep bein awesome 

So, I’m still alive. 
mentally I’m a little shaken by recent events. I live in the USA, so I’m sure people can figure it out. Being an enby isn’t the easiest thing here even where I live being generally pretty accepting. I got bullied off TikTok years ago and HAD to delete Instagram this week cuz it was nasty as hell on there. 
 

so I’m alive that’s at least a positive.

to my main point, been mulling this over a while and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need some help, I don’t really know where to post this or even exactly what to ask since it’s not a 100% gonna happen thing, me and a friend have been working on and off on our own HIGHLY ambitious pokemon fan game, we have nothing past the planning stage because it’s just the two of us and I’m the only person handling the entire creative side of it, so more to the point, are there any sprite artists and musicians who would be willing to help us out, anyone is welcome really, just over 18 years old please. I can’t pay you anything it will be entirely free labor. A passionate labor of love though. I’ve a general idea and overall story beats planned to a degree, I could use some help with the fine tuning as it’s definitely unique in the way that you aren’t allowed to catch Pokémon or even learn new moves it’s about the characters especially since they already had their major journeys. It’s pretty dark in a lot of places and I don’t plan to shy away from that stuff. If anyone is interested in helping me and my friend and by some strike of luck are also willing to put up with the fact that the story is essentially mine and mine alone. I guess message me or respond to this and we can figure out a way to communicate. FYI discord is a no go, I really dislike it. I’d be more inclined to give out my personal phone number over that lol. 
 

TLDR: want some help with a possible fan game, but the story is completely under my jurisdiction. Open to criticism and possible changes but need more people on the music and artwork side of things. And I’ll need to talk to my friend about this as hell want to know and will more then likely be the person responsible for relaying messages back and forth between devs. 
if you want info on the game before deciding there isn’t much rn as it’s in a strange transition period and I’m debating a lot of choices. All devs will be included in the game as trainers/ npcs depending on what you want. 

I’m still alive. 
 

ANNNNYYYWAYY…

I uh really don’t have any updates. I am however VERY BORED. Anyone reading this hope you’re having a great day/night. Take care of yourselves! 

I live. 
 

I know I’ve been pretty inactive but I’m not great with people (shudders) 

nor do I really know what to say soooooo

ive been replaying rejuvenation again, and I’m having a great time. Just finished my 3rd run of desolation. Ngl debug is super fun to mess around with, I just like giving myself pokemon I otherwise wouldn’t get till much later and since one of my favorite Pokémon is silvally I just like starting with a type null. (Plus being able to edit its type and stats via the move text/mon text scripts is fun as hell) but umm back to my main point, once again absolutely loving the game the story the characters everything. To the point where I just cannot force myself to do renegade route. I just can’t do it lol. I suppose we can chalk it up to my lack of irl friends and the fact that Melia and crew honestly Feel like people I’d wanna hang out with (just like in a few years I AM 24) 

But yea honestly the rejuvenation and desolation mayyyy have ruined every other fan game for me, because nothing comes close to the experience these have. I guess I just wanted to share my adoration and love for these games, as someone who’s spent the better part of this last year trying (and failing) to create a story for a game myself. I just do not have the tech skills to do it and the one friend that does just cannot commit to actually helping lol. Sigh so many ideas that will most likely never be realized. Sorry I’m rambling now. I uh haven’t actually spoken to anyone in like 2 days now lol, lotta thoughts not a lot of people to listen.

Hey, new here. Been visiting the site for YEARS. Glad to have made an account finally (why tf did it take me so long, idk) anyway. Hope everyone’s doing well. Just thought I’d say hello (I’m so sorry I suck at the whole people thing)