GreyRavensong
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Reborn Development Blog
Rejuvenation Development Blog
Desolation Dev Blog
Everything posted by GreyRavensong
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Sigh. For all the love I have for rejuvenation (a lot otherwise I wouldn’t be here) I HATE v14s endings. Killing off the player no matter what you do in BOTH routes is definitely a choice I guess… hopefully I get to play as myself again at SOME point. Unless there’s some way to avoid getting killed in paragon and avoid getting taken over by zenos in renegade then hey maybe I’m stupid. But I really dislike that both zenos and kaina came out of basically nowhere only to kill the player basically. I mean hey sure Zenos go ahead take all my pokemon…. And Sure Kaina who’s actually been madame x sometimes and otherwise hasn’t been hinted at being important otherwise (to my knowledge at least) sure go ahead and kill me or or better yet just make me sit there and have my friends hate me and then DIE. The paragon endings for v14 are not ones I’m fond of (spending the last day with Nancy is the sole exception) and even then it’s tainted by the fact that you can’t do ANYTHING with the invite from variya hell it’s not even an item. I know nobody gonna read this (I just posted something similar on Reddit hoping at least someone feels the same) but for the immense amount of love I have for this game, I feel cheated by the endings this time around. Maybe I’m just sick of tragedies, or maybe I’ve got more narcissistic traits than I thought (which was none) also killing amber AND Alain my two favs is truly evil! Maybe I was hoping to have a chance in at least one world not to get fucked over completely. Even if it’s only a fictional story. But I really should know better no matter which version of me real or otherwise I am horrendously unlucky and will suffer for no reason other than because I can. I appreciate all the work that went into this game and the work that will continue to go into it, hell sad as it is the characters in rejuv really are the closest thing I have to friends these days. The presentation across the board from music to artwork was glorious. I’m just having a hard time coping with the fact that once again the story that should have been mine has been ripped away and given to another.
Sorry if any of the devs read this I really hope this doesn’t come off as hostile, it’s more grief I guess I feel like I’m mourning a part of my life I felt like was important. Hell Alain’s old sprite is responsible for me beginning to question my gender back in the day. So in a small way the game and its characters mean a lot y’know and that included other me, both paragon and renegade. Virtue and vice, there’s parts of my personality I see reflected back at me through them. Or I did… now I may as well be blind. I suppose they meant it when they said progressing further meant it was the end…
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Pokemon champions is kinda lame ngl. Gacha mechanics to get Pokemon sucks. I don’t have home or any of the switch games anymore. Had to sell them to eat lunch a few weeks back. So I’m at a huge disadvantage, definitely doesn’t help that I never played any of the new games since bdsp or legends arceus. Gen 9 sucks ngl I really dislike every single Pokemon design and the power creep is too much. Glad darkrai got something but damn it is UGLY and SLOW?! Why would they make darkrai slow. Absol z is cool. Garchomp z being a special attacker is really dumb tho. Official Pokemon has just kinda sucked for a while now I guess. At least in champions they don’t aggressively gender me. Legend arceus made me so sad with that. Course I highly doubt Pokemon will ever be what I want it to be. (But damn who is adding an enby option hurting? And can we please chose our age or something I’m not a kid anymore and honestly seems like most people playing Pokemon aren’t either) sigh. Sorry for the barely coherent rant this morning. Just bored and tired and sad.
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So, just finished my 2nd run of DAV and I’m pretty sure I made the exact same choices the whole way through again lol. Still made me cry tho. Rip davrin.
hurts way more as a fellow warden I swear. -
So finally got around to doing a renegade run on rejuv. Lots of thoughts. All the ones regarding the game are good. The ones regarding my irl personality’s similarities to a strange hybrid of m2 and the interceptor as they appear in that route. Less good. But if I know ANYTHING it’s that I have a real nasty self loathing problem. And cannot exactly be trusted to have an honest view of myself. Least I’m more honest about that than m2 will ever be. Heh.
that final monologue from the interceptor tho… felt a little to close to shit id actually say in that position. Kinda freaky ngl. But I digress. Cya
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I have Been playing Nioh 3 for 7 and a half hours. I fucking love this game.
that is all.
buy Nioh!
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Hi.
it needs to be Feb 6th already. I NEED MY NIOH 3!!!! There’s nothing left in the demo for me ughhh and I already completed code vein 2. Why do so few games come out that are interesting
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So I did the favorite Pokemon picker thing.
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So the bg3 thing is probably going on hiatus, I have no motivation to write atm, my keyboard is driving me crazy. In other news here’s my most recent playlist on Spotify, just some songs I like
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so im going to be starting something of a personal project here, i started writing something of a Baldur's gate 3 fanfic/ mini sequel, not gonna lie it disregards alot of stuff in favor of what i find more interesting ,, ill try to post each chapter i write, fair waring
Content warning, includes
curse words like ALOT,
mentions of trauma, like SA, death,loss,etc
its focused on Baahlswpawn so gore is a given
a large chunk so far is based on extremely personal trauma
if i need to remove it lemme know and ill do so
if i accidently linked it with a way to edit it please dont. leave it as is
enjoy reading (I hope its to at least someone's interest)
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N2i_KQ4O0AxJDtsT_f8kV0-FWt7S77My-tZtAO-moTw/edit?usp=drive_link
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right yea, theres also self harm mentions, dysphoria mentions, essentially if it CAN have a content waring its probably in there or will be.
so far ive written 2 chapters, i think, i am very tired and have been writing this for about 2-3 hours now. its 5:50 am here as of this update so imma head out and hopefully someone finds this and decides to try reading it, open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, please dont be a jerk. and if i refuse to accept changes, IT IS a personal project after all heavily based on my own emotions headcanons traumas etc
thanks and gn/gm.
also there's probably alot of typos several keys on my pc aren't working right, namely K and J
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They are different story paths depending on certain factors and a major choice late game, you can only do renegade if you actively know how to pursue that path with outside info imo, the requirements are kinda annoying. (Good thing I have no interest in that route lol, I don’t like bad endings) that’s all I can really say since u haven’t played renegade route and I don’t wanna spoil any story stuff. If you wanna know more there’s always videos showcasing each route on YouTube and guides on how to get each on the rejuvenation subreddit.
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Hello there to nobody once again. Hope the void is doing grrreat. (Fuck me, why do I bother. Gods damnit I’m lonely)
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Ok so, just finished cyberpunk 2077 for the 2nd time, chose to go for the star ending giving my v and Judy their happy ending (for around 6 months)
I’m sorry Johnny I can’t give my body up, (granted that’s a bit of a personal irl hangup that prevents me from even thinking bout that one) and I just wanna say that final scene of V dropping the bullet necklace off of the panzer nearly made me tear up( probably would have if my eyes weren’t SO dry from being awake for nearly 2 days straight) seeing Judy happy was honestly so freakin cute, seeing V let go of the city she called home her whole life (fem street kid v is best v, FIGHT ME) I loved this ending so much more than the sun which I got on my first run, sure with the sun you get fame and fortune and status, but it’s completely hollow, Judy leaves ya.
tldr:
best ending is star ending.
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Sorry to anyone reading my sleep deprived emotional rambling, I’m leaving this here, cuz tbh I needed to say something even if nobody hears it. It’s honestly my only emotional release/ coping mechanism these days. Shit sucks, like everywhere. This world is really too close to cyberpunk already… it’s scary ya know. Who am I kiddin, nobody’s gonna pay my words any attention. I’m nobody important. A fact I’m all too aware of. Of anyone reads this (or cares) if your struggling,sad, angry, lost, confused, filled with a burning feeling you can’t describe anymore. You ain’t alone, keep fighting. Don’t ever give in. I promise you it’ll be worth it someday. And even if I’m wrong, and things keep getting worse for us, we can make it better for those who come after.
Forge your path ever forward, endlessly taking the road less traveled, tell the tale of your youth at the end of the race when age catches up to you. Don’t stop, don’t slow. Hold fast to hope, hold the line don’t give up no matter how shit it gets y’hear me!
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I've swallowed myself but the fever remains
I'm numb to the pleasure but still feel the pain
If I showed you my soul would you cover your eyes?
If I told you the truth would you dare me to lie?
(I keep it all inside because I know the man is everything but kind)
one of the first songs I ever heard from one of my all time favorite bands, ironic as hell looking back, now that I know what the song is about. No wonder I gravitated toward it so much. I do fucking love MiW.
in other not news (let’s be honest my life is not exciting) I’m still alive, though I guess that’s obvious… I AM posting on my sad lonely little corner. Anyway if by some chance anyone sees this and bothers to read this far, hey welcome to my lonely corner, feel free to stay awhile it’s likely the only company I’ll have for the foreseeable future friendless as I am, hope your havin a great day/night, hope your staying hydrated and eating enough. Hope things are going well for ya, make sure your takin good care of yourself, but treat yourself to something nice when ya can, life’s too damned short too live without fun. Though all things considered I really shouldn’t be givin advice of any kind… if anyone is unqualified to give advice on sparking joy and taking care of oneself it certainly isn’t me. Given just how miserable I am. But I suppose if others are doing well the world is all the better for those who are worth something to be doing better than I’ve been.
real talk time I suppose, given that I’ve kinda taken this little corner to journal when I find a moment and maybe my struggles will resonate with someone somewhere someday, or maybe my time will go wasted like it always seems to, effort spent for nothing, as I remain alone and forgotten by the people who told me they’d be my friends and have my back. But I digress. I can only hope that my lamentations of life and misery can be worth something to someone. Perhaps then my lonely little life will have served a purpose and done some good. (Especially considering how damn useless I am irl haha) either way if anyone bothered to read this far, I don’t want pity, or even attention. All I want is to ensure that if there are others who feel the same to know they aren’t struggling alone. And that no matter what
you are worth so,SO much more than you think you are.
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And seeing bright red, when it's shaking my core
Can fuck up your head and fill it with thorns
When words are a threat, you can't take anymore
I leave you a wreck, yeah, when I'm speaking in swords
Know I should stop myself before it gets worse
But it's never what I do
-palisades “hard feelings”
one of my absolute favorite songs. And yea it’s relatable as fuck.
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Sigh…. Rereading my writing always hurts. Whenever I’m proud of something I write I come to hate it in time. It’s never up to my standards, and part of me thinks it’s because I WROTE IT. Like damn I know I hate myself but…. Fuuuuck. I’m so sick of shit being shitty all the damn time. This world fucking sucks ugh. Would it KILL the universe to throw me OR my family a bone without a catch?! Seriously I knew our luck was bad but wtf we can’t have anything nice.
rant over ( I think)
hope everyone’s doing better than me.
although that’s probably not hard.
fuck.
