Discipline/Parenting

[Cool Girl]

So, let's talk about discipline. First, I'll express my thoughts on the video in spoilers and then, I would like to open this for discussion as I believe it is important to discuss these things even though we are not parents. But, first please watch this video before discussing.

My thoughts on the video

The father did what any parent should do to their teenage daughter. I am absolutely appalled that the ex called the cops on him when he was just confiscating a phone. And besides, it was none of her business. She should know that's also his daughter and that he has every right to discipline her when needed. Thank god the judge told the jury to drop all charges. I also cannot believe how spoiled the teenager daughter. After the trial, she wrote a letter to her dad demanding to replace the phone. 'Cause of this whole incident over a phone, she and the dad have a horrible relationship. Girl, are you real? You don't want a relationship with your dad 'cause of a phone! Grow up!

Me personally, I don't like to have stuff confiscated. I believe the best way of parenting is to have a heart to heart with your child. Now granted, she was a teenager and she knew what exactly she was doing and she knew that it was wrong, but she did anyways, which is why I believe the father did the right thing. Why I don't believe in taking away stuff. Well, 'cause the kid probably doesn't know what he did wrong and therefore that would be a futile effort to take away their stuff. Also, I've learned from personal experience that if you take away stuff from kids, they are going to rebel and will do anything to take it back. I've been there and as a little girl, I tried to take back my stuff many times and there are times where I have succeeded.

So, you may have heard, the teenage daughter has parents who are divorced. And I understand that life is harder with divorced parents. My parents aren't divorced, but I understand the feeling since almost everyone in my class have divorced parents or parents that just left them. For me, it's always sad when I hear a kid not having a good relationship with a parent for whatever reason or something like that. But, in the video, I'm just appalled when a kid would be like to her dad "I don't want to ever see you!" or something like that. My dad and I don't get along because we have different opinions and my dad is a realist and is a very stubborn man and me personally, I'm not very much of a realist and I hate stubbornness, but I would never want my dad out of my life, even though things are really dire. I'm proud that my dad and I are making progress and I believe that's how it should be with every parent and their kid.

But yeah, enough about my thoughts. This is a serious topic I would like to open for discussion. Please, let's hear your thoughts!

Edited August 1, 2016 by Cool Girl

[Maelstrom]

As facts are presented, the daughter is completely in the wrong. I would demand character witnesses if I were the daughter's lawyers and actually had a chance at winning this case. AKA, I would get real life people to give testimony in court as to whether the girlfriend was a terrible person or not. If they could find multiple people who could testify to this, then you know the case is more complicated than at first glance.

But that is clearly not the case. The adult figure was taking away a PRIVILEGE as a consequence for intolerable actions. There was in no way any physical discipline at all, which is controversial as all hell. And sorry CG, but you can't argue that the girl didn't know what she did to have her phone taken away. She knew what she did wrong, and the father took away her phone. There is no misunderstanding or miscommunication here... just some girl who felt entitled and a mother who was only too happy to take the side of her child, right or wrong.

[Neo]

I'd post how I feel about this but this but I'd get a warning point.

All I know is in my family, those that I've been around, and the culture I grew up near, this wouldn't fly.

Chanclasos solve a lot of things

[Shamitako]

Honestly looks to me like the girl's mom was just trying to take a jab at the dad and could have cared less about the daughter

My neighbor and her ex used to do stuff like that all the time with their son

As for the girl, I'd hazard a guess she was less upset over the phone and more upset over her father's remarriage. While what she did is inexcusable, I more than understand struggling with parents and wanting to push back against their discipline. Not because their discipline itself is unreasonable, but because you feel they are being unreasonable. It's a painful situation that causes all kinds of illogical actions. And in some cases culminates in trying to remove a parent from your life entirely

[Felicity]

That's just a woman abusing technicalities to spite the father.

I don't know how to parent, that's something you only learn firsthand and I can only speak from how I was raised. That said, I think there is an ideal balance with how strict you can be, leaning most of the time towards being stern. Not just to teach discipline but to teach your kids how to work around stern authority figures. If you're gonna lie to me, you had better do it well or I will take any privilege I damn well please and then lock your ass into the house if I have to.

Oh, and don't restrict kids. Limitations shouldn't be like fences for them to climb over, they should be ledges for them to step off. You set down the warning signs and if they still go walking off then they'll have to deal with the consequences. If they're smart, they'll take the signs advice.

[Raviel the Phantom]

This is ridiculous. A father should be able to take the phone of a daughter that has been misbehaving. It is a punishment for a reason. Anyways, the mother should have just talked with the father. But hey, maybe that's why they probably got divorced in the first place; lack of communication.

Some things to consider with my wife when we have kids eventually.

[Maelstrom]

Silly Dobby, common sense and kids don't mix because being kids and making those dumb mistakes is how they find out for themselves.

I mean look at you. You're a paragon of getting things right the first time people older people told you, right?

[Felicity]

Silly Dobby, common sense and kids don't mix because being kids and making those dumb mistakes is how they find out for themselves.

I mean look at you. You're a paragon of getting things right the first time people older people told you, right?

I mean one of those consequences would probably be learning what to do. Probably.

[mr-mooster]

Not a parent, but I work with kids. Kids need to be able to use their things responsibly. If a child at work is throwing their lunch box or backpack around, I take it from them and tell them why. I would get my video games taken from me if I did something wrong with them. My mom took my gameboy because I took it to school one day.

I think the mom was going after the dad instead of caring about her daughter's discipline. Notice the reason why she called the cops. "The phone is my property", not her daughter's.

[Deleted User]