Geo Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 I wrote this on paper, I just want to share it and see how good it is. Its a story that ends with.......well find out. [i]As the day started, two sisters awake. One full of joy, the other with hate. The joyful one would always play and was able to brighten the day, but the sister who hated was vile, manage to to set that straight. She would glare , kill, and plant fear into anyone, who dares to look her way. She'll even threaten the joyful one but yet she didn't care. The Joyful one was always happy until that scary day, the sister arranged her day and she was set for rape. The sister lead the joyful one deep down an alley, where the people she hired grab her sister and cause the virgin rape. The Joyful became taken by pain, crying for peace in her but there came lust who turned her into a slut as the men had thier way. The sister laughed but cried out help when they decide to shoot, the poor slut, unable to move still begging for more to have but the men, right on sight, had killed her before hand. The hatred in the sister had turned to sorrow then fear, she beg and beg but the men didn't care and end her too, now look what this story brought you. [/i] Ain't it sad~ Rate from 1- 10 plz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted April 23, 2011 Share Posted April 23, 2011 [img]http://demi.fi/uploads/userImage/4/204604/204604_20100810141634_204604_sanpohymi%C3%B6.jpg[/img] I read that as if it were a poem, since it almost sounded like a rhyming scheme was hidden in there... [spoiler]I'd rate it about a 7-ish[/spoiler] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Posted April 23, 2011 Author Share Posted April 23, 2011 [quote name='Winter' timestamp='1303539742' post='12786'] 'Cept I didn't like when the joyfulness died. [/quote] me neither and I wrote the damn thing ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maelstrom Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 Yeah there was a hint of a metric scheme and alliteration at the beginning. I'd say a 7 for the idea and a 4 for the execution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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