Jump to content

[CW/Feedback] Start of an adventure


Anstane

Recommended Posts

Alright, first of all, a few small things to note:

1) Yes, this is based off of Pokemon Reborn, specifically, the train, the attack and up to leaving the Grand Hall to begin the adventure. Yes, I know it's not the most original thing, but it was just what I felt like writing. If I do continue (And that's a big if, as I am not really in the mood to continue right now, plus, aside from one certain part, I don't know if I can find enough material, unless I restart the entire game and take my time, taking notes and stuff), then I would definitely add more variety and deviations from what exactly happens in the game, but the first part like this, really, there's very little where you CAN add something different.

2) I am basing parts of the story under the assumption that all Pokemon from all regions can be found everywhere. Yes, gameplay-wise that's not true, but that was because back then those were the only Pokemon that existed. It explains why there are Gen 3+ Pokemon in Johto (Mentioned).

3) I have absolutely no idea how to write Cain's dialogue. I'd say the three hardest things to do were the nicknames (Because I don't do them normally), describing the battle scenes (I can visualize the battle in my mind, but have trouble putting it into words) and Cain.

4) There are a few places where I messed up with time-based pronound, flip-flopping between Present and Past. In general it should be in the past tense, though I slipped up in a number of places.

5) Yes, I am quite nervous about posting this. I had never written anything like this, anything this long (~4.5k words) let alone sharing it with everyone. I'm not saying you should show any mercy, I'm just saying that I...yeah, am just nervous.

6) I had to replace one instance of " why not" because appearantly that causes a Wynaut to replace the text. I had no idea that happened.

If there's anything else that you wish to know, I'll try to answer.

“This train will arrive in Peridot Station in 10 minutes”, the loudspeaker announced, the message echoing throughout the entire carriage.

“Finally” Antares sighed mentally. It had been a long journey, both via sea and train all the way from Slateport City. “Let’s see if the Reborn League really is made for veterans like everyone says”, the thought went through the young trainers mind.

The 19-year old stood up and looked himself down a mirror that was hanging from one of the walls. He fixed his jet black hair and silver coat, adjusted his simple jeans and black t-shirt before sitting back down, waiting for the train to finally arrive in Reborn City. “Wonder what Reborn is going to be like…”

“Oh, I’m sorry; may I please sit next to you?” Antares jumped at this declaration, having absorbed himself in his own thoughts. “Oh, err, sure”, the young trainer stammered out as he shuffled to the side of the bench. The person, a youthful and well-dressed man, sat down next to the silver-coated boy. “So, what brings you to Reborn City?” the adult asked.

“I’m on my way to Reborn City because I heard that there is a Pokemon league there, different from the rest. I haven’t heard many details, but I’m willing to take the league on and see if I can climb to the top. You?”

“Wow, that’s quite an ambition you’ve got there. As for me? I’m on my way to meet my fiancée. We’re to get married in a few days”.

“Congratulations. I am not much into romance, so I don’t know what else to say, so…yeah, heh, congratulations on moving your life forward like that”, Antares stammered out, a bit embarrassed at his choice of words.

“Thank you. And don’t worry about your choice of words, its fine”, the soon-to-be husband exclaimed. His eyes then went to the six Pokeballs latched onto the trainer’s belt via a specially-made clasp. “Looks like you already have a team lined up”.

The young trainer smiled a bit. “Yeah, my team that I’ve been together with since almost the very beginning. Since I left New Bark Town until I got to the Johto league tournament, I got these six together. They are my best, my favorite and the ones I rely on the most whenever a new challenge arrives” the trainer exclaims before moving his hand over to where his Pokeballs are resting. He starts moving over each one in order: “My Typhlosion, Inferno. The very first Pokemon I ever got, we’ve been together since the very first steps of our journey; The Manectric, Lightning. She was quite the feisty Electrike when I first found her. It was quite a battle catching her, but since then we’ve proven to each other that we’re worthy friends and allies;”

“Nightwatch, my Honchkrow. I still remember rescuing him from a pack of Weedle that managed to pin him down, back when he was still a Murkrow. After chasing the bugs away and freeing the dark crow, he wanted to join me on my journey. How was I to refuse?” Antares joked. He paused for a moment, staring at the ceiling and smiling a bit, reminiscing about the adventures gone by silently. A few seconds passed before he resumed.

“Ah, Sporestrike. My Breloom. Of the six, probably my newest capture, though not my weakest. He proved quite a resilient capture, stunning and putting my team to sleep. In the end I did manage to capture him, back when he was still a Shroomish, though the condition my team was in made traveling …quite an experience, to say the least, seeing how I was far from any towns or Pokemon Centers at the time.”

“Next is my Azumarill, Fairwave. I found her, back when she was still a Marill, on a beach near Cianwood. Poor thing was scared and alone. I tried to console her, but she just wouldn’t let me come near her. I went back to town, got some Pokemon treats and came back. Eventually, probably when she realized that I mean no harm, she came close and accepted my offer. She wanted to come with me, and, again, how could I refuse?” the trainer smiled again and went quiet.

“I see that the last Pokeball is different” the Fiancé noted. Indeed, the last Pokeball had a different design, clearly made with care, hearts and snowflakes covering it.

Antares gave another warm smile. “Indeed. This one contains my most beloved, my most treasured Pokemon of them all. My Glaceon, Snowflake. Truly, my special snowflake. She was my second ever Pokemon, after Inferno. She used to be quite cold and cut off, but over time we warmed to each other. I don’t know why, but there was just something that truly made me adore her. Eventually she…I guess defrosted, if I had to use the word, and ever since then we were completely inseparable. Through the various regions, the many trainers and gyms I challenged, I often had to use my other Pokemon that I didn’t bring with me today, which I left back with Elm, Johto's leading professor on Pokemon. But never Snowflake. Through high or low, heat or cold, we were always together.”

“The train is now entering Peridot Station” the loudspeaker announced, as the train started to enter a large train station. The two men were oblivious to the message, though.

“Wow, you must have had quite the meeting with her” the well-dressed man exclaimed.

“Heh, perhaps. Not long after le-“ The trainer was cut off by a loud and sudden sound that ripped through the station. “What was that?” The silver-clad boy jumped to his feet and started looking around.

“I have no idea. Maybe it was-“ Another large noise roared through the train, this time almost deafening everyone onboard.

“Are those…explosions? Damn, gotta get down!” Antares thought as he dived onto the ground. No sooner then he landed that a third explosion went off right next to the carriage. The train went flying off the rails with everyone inside in varying positions and panic. The last thing Antares heard was the train slamming onto the ground before he got knocked out by the impact with the ground.

.

.

“…hey. Hey, wake up.” A woman’s voice reached Antares’ ears. Slowly he opened his eyes and, confused, started to look around. All he could see, however, was the face of a silver-haired maiden in front of him.

“Ugh…what…what happened?” The new arrival stammered out, his mind still in a bit of a daze. Instinctively, his havd reached out to his Pokeball latch. His hand went over and felt six closed and round spheres where they should be.

“You were on the train that just arrived, right? Well, appearantly someone set up bombs inside the station. You were unlucky enough to be in the blast radius.” The woman explained.

“Are…are my Pokemon alright?” The black-haired trainer said in a bit of a panic.

“Don’t worry, if they were inside their Pokeballs, they should be fine. You should be more worried about what might have happened to you. Speaking of, while you were unlucky enough to be knocked out, you were lucky enough to escape any real injuries. Just some bruising and that’s about it, by the looks of it."

“Al-alright…” Antares quickly got up and started dusting himself off. While his body got off lightly, the same could not be said of his coat: Torn in a few places, blackened by soot and dirt. “I’m Antares. I’m-“

“Oh, you must be the trainer I heard about. The one that was coming via train who wanted to take on the Reborn League” the woman interrupted. “I’m Ame. I’m in charge of registering new trainers into the league, among…other things.”

“Miss Ame!” A policeman ran up to her, wearing a traditional blue police outfit. “We found a likely suspect for the bomb explosions.”

“Good. Take him to the Grand Hall, I’ll be there shortly”, Ame dismissed the cop. Turning back to Antares, she explained “As you can see, this city is…not the best or safest place to live in, despite our best efforts. Still, to think that someone would blow up the train station like that…” the silver-haired maiden trailed off.

The trainer turned to face the terminal. The building looked like a simple train station, except with large cracks and clearly crumbling due to the explosions. Antares got a cold sweat thinking that he was inside there just a few minutes ago.

“Ameee!” A high-pitched yell quickly got the attention both of the trainer and the administrator.

“Julia? What are you doing here?” Ame exclaimed in a shocked tone. The black-haired arrival also took notice of the girl. With green hair and a yellow outfit, it would be hard to miss her.

“I heard there were explosions going off here without my consent. I mean I like things going boom, but only when I get to do it.” Julia started complaining. Her eyes quickly darted to the trainer standing next to Ame. “Oh hi there. I heard there was a new challenger coming here. My name’s Julia. I’m a gym leader here in the Peridot Ward. You’ll find me in the large yellow building. Come there when you’re ready to challenge me. Alright, later!” the girl quickly running off after that.

“Well, that was…weird” Antares exclaimed.

“Yeah, Julia has a strange fascination with explosives. She’s not a bad girl by any means, though. A little hyper, maybe, but a kind girl nonetheless. Anyway, I’m off to the Grand Hall. I’ll see you there” Ame said before walking off to the east.

The young trainer, now alone, took a moment to examine the immediate surroundings while cleaning off the rubble and soot off his robes. In front of him, the destroyed Peridot station. To the west and south, past some metal rails, Azurine Lake. The trainer noticed something unusual about the water; namely, that it was brown, clearly very polluted. “Yeesh, what happened to cause such a large area of water to turn this bad?” Antares thought to himself. “Well, time to head to the Grand Hall and get this adventure started”. He took out his special Pokeball, knelt down low and opened it, releasing the Pokemon waiting inside.

The Glaceon, with her light blue fur and crystal-like blue eyes, quickly jumped on and hugged the trainer, worry in her eyes over what happened to her beloved trainer. “I’m okay. Thank you for the concern” the trainer hugged Snowflake back for a moment before standing back up. “Let’s head to the Grand Hall, alright?” “Gla!”, the Glaceon exclaimed in approval, and the two began walking east down the pier.

On the way through South Peridot, Antares noticed a fair few people on the pier, most in shock or crying in tragedy over what happened in the train station. One in particular, a young woman, walked up to the duo, asking about his fiancé. The trainer realized that she was referring to the man he was talking to right before the tragedy struck. He simply closed his eyes and shook his head, unaware of his fate. Police officers blocked the few passageways off of the pier, excepting the path east, leaving the trainer and his Pokemon only one direction to go in. Only a few minutes later the two arrive in front of a huge imposing piece of architecture.

The Grand Hall got its name for a reason. A massive, multi-storied building, the Grand Hall not only served as the main hub for trainers, but also as one of the main administrative buildings in the entire city. It’s temple-like exterior and high build quality stood contrast to the nearby buildings of the Peridot Ward, which were small and in decay.

Upon entry, the two new arrivals saw that the inside was also very spacious. The first floor housed many facilities: A large Pokemon Center to the left, a sizable medical ward for trainers to the right, and a long and wide area straight. Slightly further forward, stairs leading to the higher floors. Those contain rooms for trainers to rent for varying lengths of time. The only requirement, as everyone quickly learns, is that, to rent a room, one must be in possession of at least one gym badge. It’s a decision made to prevent everyone signing up to the league and then using the facilities as they pleased.

Further down the main hall, to the right, a small shop stood. It was a place for trainers to get some basic supplies, again, with more supplies becoming available as more badges are collected. Finally, at the far end of the hall, an administrative table sat.

Antares and Snowflake quickly made their way to the far end of the hall, passing many other trainers along the way: Some green ones who have either just started or don’t know what to do, some seasoned veterans with full teams, ready for anything. The pair arrive next to the desk, asking a worker behind it for Ame. While he headed down a nearly flight of stairs to look for the silver maiden, another girl, one wearing a kimono-like dress, walked up the Antares.

“I heard we were getting another new trainer to join the Reborn League. I assume that’s you?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Who are you? Are you also here to sign up?” The silver-coated boy asked.

“My name’s Victoria, and yes, I am here to start my journey in this region. And you are?” The girl answered.

“My name is Antares. Looks like we’re going to be on the same journey then. Pleased to meet you.”

At this point Ame came out of the stairs leading down to the Grand Hall’s basement and walked over to the waiting trainers. “Ah, I see you’ve met each other. Are you both ready to start a new adventure?”

“Yes!” both trainers answer simultaneously.

“Good. Then I’ll start with Antares, if that’s okay”.

“Sure, I don’t mind” Victoria answered.

“Come this way, please”. Ame beckoned the boy and his Glaceon to come with her to a nearby computer. “There are a few things you should know about the Reborn League. First of all, as you are probably aware, there are eighteen gym leaders, one for each type of Pokemon, in the Reborn League.”

“Heh, really? Well, that doesn’t change much, we’ll simply prove ourselves to them all. After all, we can best eight, we can best eighteen. Isn't that right, Snowflake?” The Glaceon nodded her head and got into a combat-ready pose, prepared for anything.

“Well, that’s the second thing you should know. In the Reborn League, you are not allowed to use any Pokemon you have caught before registering for the league. So…I’m afraid you will have to leave your team behind. Don’t worry, we will provide you with a starter, and, though it might not look like it, the region has a lot of Pokemon in it from all over."

Antares’ heart dropped upon hearing the info. He and his Pokemon had been through everything so far, and to hear he would have to leave them behind…that he would have to leave Snowflake behind made his jaw drop and his cocky demeanor to vanish instantly to one filled with almost despair. His eyes turned to his beloved Glaceon, who is fully aware of what he had to do. She walked up to the trainer and nudged him and, with a confident-looking face, bade the trainer to not worry about her, to take on the league and best them all, to prove to everyone that he can best the Gym Leaders, the Elite Four and everyone in between to be the very best in Reborn City.

The black-haired trainer smiled and, with a tear rolling out of his eye, nodded. “Alright. I understand.” He told Ame before turning to the computer that the admin took him to. He took out his trainer ID card and inserted it into the computer. A few seconds later, he logged in and got a direct feed to Professor Elm, in Johto.

“Well, I did not expect to see you now. How are things going?” The professor, standing in his lab, questioned.

“Fine. I…have to send my entire team to you. Apparently those are the rules of the Reborn League” Antares answered.

“Really? Sorry to hear that. Your Pokemon are really eager to be with you, and to hear that you can’t use them…”

“Let’s just get this over with, alright? Please.” The trainer interrupted, taking out his Pokeballs from his clasp.

“Alright.” The Johto Region’s Pokemon Professor sighed and activated the transfer machine, which allows one to transfer Pokeballs and their Pokemon from one to the other.

One by one, Antares transferred his Pokemon over to the waiting scientist until only Snowflake remained. He knelt down and gave the Glaceon one last big hug, which she returned with her paws. “You be good now, alright? Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep in rouch as much as I can, and when I’m done we’ll take a nice break together. Alright?” “Gla!” Snowflake answered, eyes closed and with a smile on her face. Antares, also smiling but still torn up inside, sent Snowflake back into her Pokeball and then to Elm.

“Watch over them, please.” The trainer gave one last plea to the professor on the other side.

“Don’t worry, I will. Good luck with the Reborn League!” the professor signed out with these words. The trainer, similarly, logged off and took his ID card out, then turned to face Ame. “Is that it?” the trainer’s words rang with a slight bitterness.

“Well, there’s still the matter of giving you your starter. Follow me, please.” Ame and Antares went up the stairs to a small room. It contained three long tables, with six Pokeballs lined up on each of the tables. “Pick whichever one you want. Take your time.”

“Oh dear Arceus, I had a hard enough time picking my first ever Pokemon from three, now I have to pick from eighteen?” the baffled trainer exclaimed nervously. He started walking along each of the tables, going through each of the eighteen Pokemon that await. For five minutes he did nothing but walk, watch and think. Eventually, though, the trainer did settle on his starter. His brown eyes locked onto one particular Pokeball, which he went to, picked up and looked inside. “Yeah, I think I’ll go with you”, he thought to himself. “Is that the one you want?” The waiting admin asked the trainer. “Yeah”, he answered. “Very well, follow me then” Ame ordered Antares down the stairs and back around the counter”.

“Alright, Victoria, now let’s get you taken care of. I see you don’t have any Pokemon with you right now, so let’s head upstairs so you can get your starter.”

“Alright, one moment. Hey Antares, can I see what you picked? Don’t worry, I won’t base my choice off of what you picked, I already know which starter I want.”

“Sure, I guess.” The silver-clad trainer took out his Pokeball and released his Pokemon. The blue fin on the head and the gills on the cheeks belie the appearance of Mudkip.

“Aww, what a cutie” Victoria fawned for a moment. “Alright, I guess I should go get my starter now. See you in a few moments!” The kimono-clad girl followed Ame up the stairs while Antares now waits for her to come down.

“Why hello there handsome!” The trainerwas startled as he heard someone call him out from the main hall. Turning to face the arrival, he was a bit surprised to see a purple-haired, purple-dressed…

“Erm…hi. And you are…” He can only stammer out as the silver-clad newcomer had no idea what to think.

“My name is Cain. I heard there was someone from out of town joining the league, but I did not expect to see someone quite as good-looking as you.”

“Wait, that’s a guy?” The young trainer pondered in confusion. “Erm, eh heh, thanks for the compliment. I’m Antares, and yeah, I just arrived to challenge the Reborn League.”

“A-ha! I knew it. Well then, since we’re going to be on the same trip together, how about a battle to get to know each other?” Cain challenged.

“In here?”

“Yes, why do you think this place is so big? It’s a good place for beginning trainers to warm up and get some early action.”

“Erm…okay, I’ll just pretend you meant “A place for beginners and their Pokemon to get some experience””.

“Go, Nidoran!” The purple poser sent out his Pokemon out, forming into the shape of a small purple rodent with a large horn on the forehead. “Go, Mudkip!” Antares called out as his Mudkip was still out of it’s Pokeball, which quickly ran forward to face the Nidoran.

“Nidoran, tackle!” The Nidoran started rushing towards the waiting water-type. “Alright, Mudkip, be careful and don’t lose track of your opponent.” The Mudkip stood in confusion, waiting for direction while the poison-type charged it.

“Ah, hell, I forgot!” Antares thought to himself. “Quickly, jump to the right!” He called out and, at the last moment, Mudkip jumped to the side, but it was too late to avoid the blow, though at least it turned a head-on collision to a glancing blow.

“Wow, what happened? You looked like a hotshot, but…that was a pretty lame move, love. Nidoran, tackle again!”

“Ugh, I forgot that…ergh, nevermind. Mudkip, jump to the left before he hits you, then blast the Nidoran with Water Gun!” The Mudkip acknowledged the instructions, this time jumping out of the way earlier and causing the charging rodent to miss completely. The mud fish then turned and spew out a stream of water at Nidoran while it was still re-orienting. It hit dead-on, knocking it away, though not out.

“How’s that?” The silver trainer smuggle announced.

“That’s more what I expected.” Cain answered.

The battle went in a similar fashion for a few more moments, with varying degrees of contact during the tackles, until the Nidoran took one too many water blasts and was no longer in a condition to battle.

“Would you look at that. You’re more of a man then I thought” Cain exclaimed, walking over to shake the victor’s hand while bringing his Pokemon back.

“You’re not half bad yourself. Guess I got the wrong impression of you when I saw the way you…erm, no offense, dress.” Antares hesitated to say.

“Eh, it’s okay, I get that a lot. Let’s take our Pokemon over to the nearby center”

“Sounds good to me “The black-haired boy said as he returned Mudkip to his Pokeball. The two then walked over to the Pokemon Center ward not far from the entrance to the Grand Hall.

“You probably know this already, but Pokemon Centers offer two ways to recover your Pokemon: A quick blast of energy, which only takes a few seconds and does put them back on their feet, but doesn’t give them a chance to rest and thus might cause long-term problems, of you can give them full treatment and rest. I suggest doing the latter later, but for now the first option should be sufficient for both of us” Cain explained as both trainers give their Pokemon to the nurse on the other side of the counter.

“Yeah, I’m aware. Thanks for the refresher, though.” Antares answered as the two are returned their Pokemon.

“There you are! And looks like you met each other already as well” The two heard Ame call them from the main section of the main hall, Victoria standing next to her. “Cain, would you come with me, please?”

“Alright, beautiful. See ya later, Antares!” Cain said while walking off with Ame back to the main counter, leaving Victoria and Antares together.

“I’m curious, what Pokemon did you get?” The boy from Johto inquired.

“See for yourself. In fact, why don’t we have a battle together?” “The dark-haired girl answered.

“Sure, I don't see the problem” The boy answered, sending out Mudkip.

“Go, Tepig!” Victoria calls out as she sends out her Pokemon: An orange and dark-brown pig-like Pokemon with a coiled tail. A bit of smoke comes out of it’s nostrils as it prepares to take on the mud fish-esque Pokemon. “Ember!” Victoria calls out as a stream of embers fires out off of the Tepig and start flying towards Mudkip. “Water Gun!” Antares shouts as Mudkip fires a stream of water from it’s mouth. The aquatic attack proved superior as the embers were quickly stopped and extinguished while still having enough velocity to hit Tepig with full force, causing it to stumble along the ground.

“Tepig!” Victoria cried out, deciding to return the Pokemon back to the Pokeball. It could still fight, but it was not a fight that she could win, and the girl knew it.

“Well, I was hoping to catch you off-guard, but it seems like you know what you’re doing.” The new trainer conceded.” I think you should go check on Ame right now. I’ll rest my Pokemon and then I’ll be off to begin my journey. See you later!”

“See you!” Antares, having returned his Pokemon back, went back to Ame who was waiting at the desk. “Ah, good. I was waiting for you. Well, all that’s left is your signature here and you’re officially registered into the league! I see you already got a Pokedex and a set of Pokegear, so it looks like you’re mostly set. I heard that you had to leave all your money and most of your supplies back at home, so here’s some starting Poké and some Pokeballs” Ame says while handing the silver-coated trainer a small bit of money and a few Pokeballs.

“Yeah, customs are a pain like that. Well, thank you very much, but I should be going now. An adventure awaits.” The trainer waved Ame one last time and set off…towards the store that waited off to the side while the woman returned to the basement.

“Welcome to the Pokemart. I see that you’re a new trainer, so we only offer some basic supplies. Anything I can get you?”

“One moment, I wish to check my bag.” Antares answered as he checked his Medical pocket to see what he has. “Hmm, three Potions and an Antidote.” The new challenger thought to himself. “Alright, I would like…two Potions, four Antidotes, a Paralyz Heal and five Pokeballs” he told the clerk while preparing an appropriate sum of money.

A few moments later, the cashier came out with a small bag containing the supplies ordered. The transaction complete, the silver-clad trainer deposited everything into the appropriate pocket and made his way towards the exit. The doors opened, and, past them…

“Looks like it’s the start of yet another new adventure. Let’s get started, shall we?.” Antares exclaimed to himself and to the Mudkip inside it’s Pokeball as he stepped out the doors of the Grand Hall and into the realm of Reborn City and the Reborn League.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...