YARR HARR HOOO!
Welcome aboard the HMS Betrayal, ye funny landlubbers! This is Cap'n Alibeard speaking. Whether ye be some aspirin' sailor or just a simple passenger, I can promise ye, this'll be a cruise ye won't be forgettin' anytime soon! Yer going to get a taste of what a real pirate's life is.
...or this is what I'd be tellin' ye, if I didn't badly need yer help. Ya see, there be some dang mutineers among my men. I need ye to find who dem scurvy dogs be, so we can toss em right overboard and be on our way! But beware now, if ye let em outnumber ye loyal lads, they'