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Felix~

I always kinda wanted to make a leaving topic.

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Aight, so this topic is a multipurpose exercise in masturbation, expression and simple demarcation.

 

I’m “leaving” reborn, in so much as anyone still waiting on the game and Starlight can really leave Reborn. Backing out of the community, so to speak. I’ll still be in Reborn adjacent communities, Chances are anyone who cares to will still be able to get in touch.

 

I’m massively downplaying the actual cutting of the ties here, so you’re probably wondering why I’m leaving, if you even recognise me. I’m sure anyone browsing the forums will not. Discord’s my jam, or rather was.

 

But why? Why the topic, well, that’s where the masturbation comes in. Get it- cu- Ok basically a part of me wants the melodramatic exit, the flourish at the end of my existence here. It’s six years of my life. Even when I’m sixty, that’s a tenth of my life spent in Reborn. I can understand in part why people made these posts, why some people made them several times. But that’s only half of it.

 

Quite simply, Reborn does not fit me anymore. As a place to talk, chill out, lurk, Reborn was a really cool fuckin jumper. It was snug, warm, comfortable and most importantly familiar. Which was crucial during my first year of uni. I came here when I was 15. Over six years I daresay I’ve grown enough that the whole question of theseus’ ship, where you ask if you’re the same person if every part of you has been replaced, might apply. I’m not the only one either. The community has changed and grown and gone through several generations of regular users with their own dynamics, in-jokes, cliques.

 

As time went by, I otherwise did my own thing. But recently I’ve found the current state of Reborn to simply not be to my tastes. To be clear, this is okay! People can talk about, do as and meme about as they like and far be it from me to demand they change that if everyone is happy. All it means is that Reborn isn’t the place for me. Which is fine, because I have other friend groups, IRL and in other servers, to talk to and spend my time with. 

 

So, there’s that. I don’t mean to judge or shame anyone, which is why I’m not giving any examples. People do people. What’s more important to me now is this last part.

 

15 is a stupidly delicate time in a guy's life. With the amount of time I was spending online, it would be ridiculous to suggest it didn’t have an effect on me, negligible or profound.

 

I met so many people. Funny, odd, irritating, boring, infuriating, adorable, eerie, give me an adjective and I bet I could give you a person. Not even ships in the night randoms as you’d imagine on the internet. People who spent months if not years in the community before going their own ways.

 

Good GOD, the petty dramas were fascinating and intoxicating to a guy excluded from and oblivious to most of that in school. The forums would fuckin hum with activity when people got a bee in their bonnet, whether it was incredibly tense and serious discussions on real life race related politics and tragedies or misguided attempts at a nuanced discussion of lolicons and paedophilia. Seeing how people conducted themselves, why the rules we have are in place, the things that resulted in, the toxicity and the shitty, shitty people. It was fascinating and in retrospect a very mundane kind of horrifying. I should not have been involved in a lot of it, I feel.

 

Reborn was my first real interaction with members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was the game and community that first introduced me to the concept of non binary people. Trans people were no longer the punchline in a sitcom here. I became more comfortable with my own forms of expression and broke away from what I was allowed to like and dislike in my real life circumstances. Eventually, recently, I determined I was bisexual, something I’m not sure I would have considered anywhere near as early without these experiences.

 

Reborn is an imperfect, glorious, surprising piece of the internet that I fell into and, I hope, somehow managed to come out a better person than I might have been otherwise. This last post, which might be pointless if my own refrain of “they always come back” is true, I at least want to end on a single note. One of gratitude.

 

One of my favourite things I helped to do in this community was a christmas card for the auth, presented during one of the showdown christmas parties. So the link below and the last thing I post is going to be that card and the old words of so many of the people I’ve met here.

 

Thank you very much for bearing with me.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1enHAe5D3ssjX4Ei72AiMjnIC8x_-sJX9VdYqsuPPsq4/edit?usp=sharing

 

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GAcIpWh.png

 

wtf i cant believe you would lie to me like this

 

good luck and take care my dude, see ya round

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You will be missed. Hope you check in occasionally, as some people do. Take care of yourself, and have fun!

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I went thru the struggle of remembering my password for the forums just so I could log on and tell you that I'ma kick your ass
...Which actually is to say ily and fully understand what you mean about feeling the need to detach from this place, so you do you, I respect your choice, whether it'll end temporary or permanent.

You're one of a kind in the best (but also slightly cursed) way possible - I'll sorely miss the frequent interactions with you on lobby.

 

But for what it's worth, I know where to find you. That's a threat and a promise.

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