Global Mods Ice Cream Sand Witch 1650 Posted June 20, 2016 Global Mods Share Posted June 20, 2016 You're offered 1 million in exchange for marrying a toaster. I don't mean just 1. Accept offer 2. Have wedding with toaster 3. ??? 4. Profit I mean you have to actually do relationship stuff with the toaster, even if/after you spend all the money you get. This is a lifelong commitment. You have to take it to the movies and to scenic places, cuddle with it, talk to it, etc. You can't abandon it, because it will find you. You can't break it, because it's made of vibranium. You can't find other loopholes around this, because *insert reason why the loophole you're thinking of doesn't work here*. FAQ Can I still be in a relationship with someone else while married to the toaster? Yes. Your other partner does not need to be involved with the toaster (but they can if they want to). Does this have anything to do with you asking people to PM you pictures of toasters a few days ago? No. It's just coincidental timing that I posted this, which also is toaster related, a few days after. I've had this scenario in my mind since 2013. Can we have toaster babies??? I'm...not sure exactly how that would work, but if a donkey and a dragon can have babies, I guess anything's possible! Link to post Share on other sites
Tartar 103 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I don't think it would be worth it, perhaps if there was more money in it... Sure a million sounds like a lot, but lets say you have to spend an hour or more with the toaster every single day for the next 60-70 years of your life, and at that point its like making 30$-40$ per day in exchange for being with a toaster... Yeah, kinda puts things into perspective. And even then we have pay taxes on our of the million dollars. If let's say it was hundred million or a billion dollars... Then I'd probably do it, since at that point it would just be a kind of awkward, but super well paying job. But frankly, with the given criteria it's economically not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ironbound 110 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 No, I'm afraid I don't make life commitments on the basis of monetary incentives. What you suggest is a form of dowry, which, in my view, is akin to selling oneself to a partner, be it anyone (or, in this case, any thing.) I don't put a price tag on myself, sorry. Had you asked whether I would voluntarily have contemplated a marital relation with a toaster with no monetary offer accompanying it, my answer would likely still not have changed, as I do not see how we could make each other happy and also fulfill the obligation of life meaningfully, but in this case I'm obliged to refuse outright without even affording you the benefit of contemplation because you are suggesting what I view as tantamount to enslavement (even if it could be a happy and willing one to a kind and equal mistress, it is still Servitude, being the purchase of my will and life for a price), and a very clear money-for-jam (quite literally) deal. Teal deer, no. Link to post Share on other sites
baldr 32 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Well if by toaster you mean one of the female Cylons from Battlestar Galactica... :-P (Cylons are commonly referred to as "toasters" in the series.) Otherwise no thanks. I'd have to be in a real desparate need for money to do it. I'm not rich or anything but to be honest money never meant much to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Alextron 28 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 My answer is no.Even If I could get a trillion dollars by getting married to a toaster I would still refuse. That is, because we cannot form a relationship of love with soulless objects, it's impossible.And I agree with Viri, I won't put a price tag on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Tartar 103 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I'm afraid I don't make life commitments on the basis of monetary incentives. You mean like doing regular work? Link to post Share on other sites
pyrromanis 70 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Why no love for the toaster??? I mean she would make me toasts for the rest of my life without doing anything! (don't tell me that I have to make the toast my self, I won't be the only one giving in this relationship!) Link to post Share on other sites
Hycrox 273 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Yes. Money and toasts for dayz. Nuff said. Link to post Share on other sites
Neo 45 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 can i divorce it if they keep burning my toast? Link to post Share on other sites
Ironbound 110 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 You mean like doing regular work? No, not like regular work. Read what I said. Unless you imply marriage is like regular work, in which case we have no common point of communication. Link to post Share on other sites
VKR 0 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Isn't a toaster only alive when it's plugged in and running, or else it would be asleep and therefore never experience certain things like watching in the cinema together. Having said that, I think I'm the few that wouldn't mind that much because I suspect that people already think that I'm crazy. Also I have no SO... Edit: 1 million is quite a bit too... Link to post Share on other sites
Noir 3 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I'm married to my guns, so no. Link to post Share on other sites
Ojama Yellow 759 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 maybe I mean if the toaster and I had been really close before I would contemplate it Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowHugs 0 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I will do it Come here sweetie, make me some toast <3 <3 <3 Link to post Share on other sites
Exalted 1 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 ahh no i will not even in real life i would not marry someone for money as it is something i do not care for.i would rather spend my life with someone i like and enjoy spending time with while being poor rather being with someone i do not care for or despise(in the most extreme case) then having a billion dollars. Link to post Share on other sites
Spineblade 20 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Uh... no thanks. I can think of better things to do with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Kurotsune 22 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 You're offered 1 million in exchange for marrying a toaster. I don't mean just 1. Accept offer 2. Have wedding with toaster 3. ??? 4. Profit I mean you have to actually do relationship stuff with the toaster, even if/after you spend all the money you get. This is a lifelong commitment. You have to take it to the movies and to scenic places, cuddle with it, talk to it, etc. You can't abandon it, because it will find you. You can't break it, because it's made of vibranium. You can't find other loopholes around this, because *insert reason why the loophole you're thinking of doesn't work here*. FAQ Can I still be in a relationship with someone else while married to the toaster? Yes. Your other partner does not need to be involved with the toaster (but they can if they want to). Does this have anything to do with you asking people to PM you pictures of toasters a few days ago? No. It's just coincidental timing that I posted this, which also is toaster related, a few days after. I've had this scenario in my mind since 2013. Can we have toaster babies??? I'm...not sure exactly how that would work, but if a donkey and a dragon can have babies, I guess anything's possible! Yes. This is a win-win situation if there ever was one, frankly. Link to post Share on other sites
IntSys 106 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 If it's 1 million Euro, I'd take it.Toaster doesn't tell lies, and that's all I need to know~ Link to post Share on other sites
Tartar 103 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 No, not like regular work. Read what I said. Unless you imply marriage is like regular work, in which case we have no common point of communication. Sigh, how can you be so formal, when you're threatening me... I'm merely stating that the conditions of the deal, as described by ICSW, were that you'd have to engage in romantic activities with the Toaster, not that you'd actually have to fall in love with it. This is a purely economical and practical dilemma and not an ethical one, as some are treating it as. In short, you're eschewing your right to legally marry someone else (unless your country allows polygamy...) and a certain amount of time of your day for the rest of your life in exchange for money. The question is thus, whether you would accept some money at the loss of your free time? Or in other words, would you want your part time job to be doing romantic activities with a toaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Kurotsune 22 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 T Sigh, how can you be so formal, when you're threatening me... I'm merely stating that the conditions of the deal, as described by ICSW, were that you'd have to engage in romantic activities with the Toaster, not that you'd actually have to fall in love with it. This is a purely economical and practical dilemma and not an ethical one, as some are treating it as. In short, you're eschewing your right to legally marry someone else (unless your country allows polygamy...) and a certain amount of time of your day for the rest of your life in exchange for money. The question is thus, whether you would accept some money at the loss of your free time? Or in other words, would you want your part time job to be doing romantic activities with a toaster. That's not necessarily true. You have to do "relationship stuff" with the toaster - not necessarily take it anywhere. I for one prefer staying at home. The toaster also has to think about my needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Exalted 1 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 The toaster also has to think about my needs. i am hoping that means making toast as what else would you do with a toaster ha ha ha. ohh look a spoiler to a news link what could that be http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/penis-stuck-in-toaster-firefighters_n_4064927.html Link to post Share on other sites
YoshiofRedemption 0 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Honestly, considering how much I need the money for college, I'd do it. No regrets! Link to post Share on other sites
RudeStyle 0 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 Would this make me a toasterosexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Strider 30 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 I'd kind of like to know the inspiration for this question. Is this a completely ordinary toaster? Who would be paying me (and why)? If the toaster was not completely ordinary, and it was not someone else paying me (on a dare?) I don't think I would do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Tartar 103 Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 The better question is who in their right mind makes a vibranium toaster? The vibranium would cost so much more than the million dollars offered, that the sum is kind of laughable. One could probably steal the toaster and then sell it for a few billion $$$... Link to post Share on other sites
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