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[WIP/Draft/CW: Fanfic]Harry Potter Fanfiction Help Needed!


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Hello y'all I am elfen. And i am a fanfiction addict v.v Yes, I admit it....

But to the point! I have read plenty of Dark Harry fanfictions, that I want to try my hand in one!

Here is a brief plotline

-There is Harry Potter and his Twin Benjamin Potter. The fiasco with LV still happens and the Potter parents die. But Mother Magic(She is a sentient being who bestows magic to living creatures, etc) transports him to an orphanage, but somewhere in Russia, Rowan Ivanovich Raskonikolv, a baby that was born April three months before Harry, well Rowans mother is a squib, and she was able to get a strong love potion from a fae from the Conflux Realm(Pretty much were other magical creatures, an a few wizards reside that isn't in the plane of mortals) and she constantly gave it to her Husband, Ivan Nicoliavich Raskonikolv, who is a well respected, Curse Breaker, as well as Wardist in Russia. But wizards in Russia do not really accept squibs or non magical beings. Usually the end up dead or abandoned. But the mother, for a trade, got a continuous amount of love potion(I need a name) as well as a potion that is able to reflect ANY spell back to the caster, but the spell still affects the victim. Father uses killing curse, she drinks potion, and the father dies as well. Mother magic transports Rowan to the same orphanage as Harry, they become blood bonded "brothers"

But pretty much it will be a Dark Harry and some bashing in it. I plan on having them be proficient Necromancers, but each having their own faults and disadvantage in other branches of magic, and not be a prodigy in them all.

Harry- Necromancy, Soul Magic/Blood Magic, Ritualism, Charms, Wandless Magic, Dark arts

He would suck at - Transfiguration, potions, and herbology

Rowan- Necromancy, Mind magic, Transfiguration, Ritualism, Wandless, Dark arts,Warding

Sucks at- Alchemy, Herbology,

And above average on anything else.

And my theory on magic is something like this.

The "pure" blooded wizards, their magic is more refined. With the mixing of other magic with other families, refines and sharpens certain aspects of magic as it passes on(mother magic kinda also gives random gifts, that can be passed down... you will see that with Hermoine) So the reason why they think they are more powerful is because their magic is more tame and controlled while muggle borns magic are wild and unrefined. But with this untamed magic, the witch or wizard can be proficient in ANYTHING they set their eyes on. Such as Hermoine devoting her time on Runes, Transfiguration and Potions will alter her magic in tune with what she does most. This could end up, if she mates with another magical, for her child to be proficient in those areas as well, but still a little out of control, but more refined.

For the Dark and Light Matter...it doesn't mean "bad vs good" It is just how magic is handled.

Dark magic is more primal and instinctual magic that relies on emotions, clarity of mind and intent, while Light magic is more of a free form that is based on intent, imagination and less relied on emotions. I will explain more on that if you want....

If anyone wants to help me construct my chapters, I would love the help, bouncing ideas, editing and writing bits and pieces you name it. I will post them on my ffnet account and archive of our own account once i reach at least 60k words before i post any chapters....

Edited by elfen
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Thank youJericho, and what do you mean, "what to do with this further"??

and jelly... please don't what?

Decide how it should be tagged, and what to do with the title more or less among other things. Hukuna and I have come to the agreement that this is his house and he handles things here.

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I would ask this be listed under the tag [WIP/Draft/CW: Fanfic] or something to that effect, or I could possibly create a new tag for it, but I don't feel the need. ((the breakdowns of tags are listed here. ))

So, please tag your thread accordingly. It should be easy to do, by clicking the small gear that appears in the sub-forum ((where you see each thread.)) and highlighting your own. Once you have done this, click the Edit Thread Title option and add the tag to the title.

Please do read the rules threads etc posted here so you know a grasp of what is and what isn't allowed here in the CW Forums. Have a good whenever you read this. Hukuna Sensei out~

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Um. Yes. Um. Hmmm.

The first thing I'm going to note is that this story does not need to be in the HP universe at all. You're not using any of the systems elucidated in the reference work in your plot, nor do any of the plot elements seem particularly relevant to your intended plotline.

The second thing I'm going to note is the insane amount of trainwreck potential. You introduce this new "Mother Magic" character, what are her motivations? What is she? How and why does she exist? How does her existence tie into the general scheme of things? What is the "Conflux Realm"? How/Why does it exist? Was it artificially created? What are the political relationships between this realm and "everywhere else"? The mother of your OC basically overdoses the father with enough love potion to force him to fall in love, then to father a child, but he still has enough self-awareness to kill her to avoid social stigma? How and why does your OC look exactly like Harry? Genetically speaking, that's almost infinitely improbable. And you classify "dark magic" as magic that is driven by instinct, but the source material clearly identifies the Cruciatus Curse as a Dark Magic, which requires imagination and concentration, along with the measured intent of inflicting pain, to be effective.

Furthermore, you're fundamentally ignoring the source material's conceptualisation of magic. You're creating a system where magic flows independently and in accordance to personality and mindset, where focusing on studying a subset of magic causes a person's aptitude for magic to favor that branch of magic. However, in the source material, you can see through the study methods and practices at all the magical academies that specialisation in a branch of magic does not enhance your innate proficiency for that branch, just like how specialising in say, neurology, does not enhance your inherent proficiency in terms of the workings of the brain. It adds on to your learned proficiencies, and there is no logical basis to suggest that learned proficiencies can be inherited.

Simply put, you create a metric ton of questions and holes, and if those aren't properly filled in by the conclusion of the story, the fic is going to fall apart faster than a decade-old rickshaw with rotting wood and missing screws in a hurricane.

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Um. Yes. Um. Hmmm.

The first thing I'm going to note is that this story does not need to be in the HP universe at all. You're not using any of the systems elucidated in the reference work in your plot, nor do any of the plot elements seem particularly relevant to your intended plotline.

The second thing I'm going to note is the insane amount of trainwreck potential. You introduce this new "Mother Magic" character, what are her motivations? What is she? How and why does she exist? How does her existence tie into the general scheme of things? What is the "Conflux Realm"? How/Why does it exist? Was it artificially created? What are the political relationships between this realm and "everywhere else"? The mother of your OC basically overdoses the father with enough love potion to force him to fall in love, then to father a child, but he still has enough self-awareness to kill her to avoid social stigma? How and why does your OC look exactly like Harry? Genetically speaking, that's almost infinitely improbable. And you classify "dark magic" as magic that is driven by instinct, but the source material clearly identifies the Cruciatus Curse as a Dark Magic, which requires imagination and concentration, along with the measured intent of inflicting pain, to be effective.

Furthermore, you're fundamentally ignoring the source material's conceptualisation of magic. You're creating a system where magic flows independently and in accordance to personality and mindset, where focusing on studying a subset of magic causes a person's aptitude for magic to favor that branch of magic. However, in the source material, you can see through the study methods and practices at all the magical academies that specialisation in a branch of magic does not enhance your innate proficiency for that branch, just like how specialising in say, neurology, does not enhance your inherent proficiency in terms of the workings of the brain. It adds on to your learned proficiencies, and there is no logical basis to suggest that learned proficiencies can be inherited.

Simply put, you create a metric ton of questions and holes, and if those aren't properly filled in by the conclusion of the story, the fic is going to fall apart faster than a decade-old rickshaw with rotting wood and missing screws in a hurricane.

Lets Start with Mother Magic.

She is the sentient being that gave magic to any magical creature. For she, it can also be a he or non binary, doesn't really matter, I just like the flow of Mother Magic. Which she sorta acts like that to her children. Her Beginning? Who knows. Her Origin will be unknown. Her existence is just like any 'God' Not reallyto be worshiped, but to devote something to her, since she is the reason you have magic.

The Conflux realm is just that. A realm formed by Confluence. Were high magical concentrations merge together, but how it was built, I do not know yet. I was going to add that in to the story. Its purpose is to separate the Non Magicals from the Magicals, without fear of discovery.

Love potions do not work work forever! The Father was a away on his duties that the effect wore off. And i havent described how he looks yet anywhere... HE will not look like Harry, they were foolish as children to merge blood together to be like "Blood Brothers" as they were together in the orphanage.

Now for the magic part. This is a fanfiction and I am basing and what magic should be from my perspective.

Dark magic which is coined by magicals to create a divide on what is good and evil.

The instinctual and raw emotions behind the casting of "dark" magic is why the "Light" is afraid of it. The British Ministry bans anything they do not like. So the thought of what is and isn't is light or dark is minute. But with stronger emotions fueled, the stronger the "dark"magic will become, while "Light magic has very use for emotion, since the spells are based of intent, their own magic and what they can think of. To me, all magic is what you can think of.

Again this is MY fanfiction. My source of how magic is formed is through my mindset.

Lets start at the beginning. a Muggleborn Wizard has "new" magic, unrefined and free to do what its user will do with it. There is no "limit" on what they can do. As they practice their own magic, in different branches, their magic becomes attuned to that specific type of magic. SO lets say That muggleborn breeds with another muggleborn. They both loved transfiguration and the dark arts and studied those magics heavily. Their children, since their parents magic was use to those magic, it was transferred to the child. So, that child's magic takes liking to the dark arts and transfiguration. So with attuned magic towards those, it is easier for him/her/it to cast. But what about the branches they ignored? well their magic is not use to those branches so the magic has no starting inclination to be proficient in them. But with hard work their magic can be attuned to it.

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