andracass

ok so im playing this game, right
it's, y'know the kirbo game, right
so i'm on the last level and i'm fighting the boss. and i'm all like "ok really you're the final boss" and also like "you can't be the final boss you don't even have _the music_" but i'm fighting the boss and i beat him and the person who made the boss was like "shit i gotta get **personal** with you but then another guy is like "gtfo person who made the boss" and she's all like "but" and he's all like "no you gotta go because imma gonna be the second boss" and everyone's like "oh ok we totally saw this coming since the boss (now known as "the first boss") was super underwhelming 
so the second boss goes into evil monologue mode and is like "see this thing? this thing is the third boss and i gotta beat you because it says so" and everyone's like "wait but that means you're gonna di-" and then the game is like *boss music plays so you're fighting the second boss who shoots out replicas of the person who made the first boss and spins around and shit
then you beat the second boss and the second boss is like "mwah ha ha you'll never be able to beat me when i take control of the third boss!" and he puts on a helmet that lets him control the third boss but then the person who made the first boss is like "no ur a BICH" and knock the second boss right in the face and grabs the thing that controls the third boss 
the person who made the first boss is then all like "i don't even _like_ you i just wanted your _stuff_ [third boss]" but then third boss starts freaking out and zaps the controller out from the person who made the first boss. the third boss then takes control of the second boss and is like "yo capitalism _rox_ and imma destroy all organic beings kbai" and then zoops off into space so then the person who made the first boss is all like "FUCK that wasn't supposed to happen i just wanted to punch the second boss in the face and then steal the third boss _is that too much to ask_ so then she's like "ok kirbo you gotta go to space. take this robosuit and go to space." (which makes the space core immensely jealous) kirbo is all like "poyo!" and hops into the robosuit. he walks toward the window and then the guy the first boss was based on shows up right outside this bigass window on his entire fuckin battleship (cuz he saw the third boss or something and was like "oh shit"??? idk but he's there now) and he just sorta nods to kirbo
kirbo now understands what he must do so with the robosuit and the person who made the first boss's blessing so he jumps out the window and then the robosuit just eats up the bigass battleship and i'm like "wait what the fuck are you doing you can't just _do_ that that has to be against the rules or something no really what the fuck" and so kirbo, now the entire fucking battleship piloted by the guy the first boss was based on, zoops off into space after the third boss while the person who made the first boss waves from the room that the first and second bosses were fought in. 
kirbo flies into space as the battleship _and then the music starts playing_ (so im all like "ok this is it this is the real game") so you have this big spacefight where the third boss is shooting giant lasers and meteors at you and really just doing an all-around great impression of the Area 6 boss from star fox 64
but then after you beat the third boss, it's all like "oh you thought _that_ was a good impression of the Area 6 boss from star fox 64?? wait until you see THIS" and then the third boss fuses with room that the first and second bosses were fought in to become the fourth boss who is now basically literally the Area 6 boss from star fox 64 complete with giant sphere, tentacles, and lasers who you then continue to fight in space as the entire fuckin battleship brought in by the guy the first boss was based on (we still don't know where he went)- all of which is accompanied by considerably worse music than the third boss
eventually you finish blowing all the casing off the fourth boss it becomes the fifth boss who is then revealed to be the semifinal boss from the fifth stage of kirby super star who is also now doing its best impression of other various star fox entities such as monching your ship and flinging various objects that have no business being projectiles at you. other notable qualities include much better music and being a complete pushover.
after you blow up the fifth boss, a big flashy explody ending sequence starts. except it was all a lie: the fifth boss (who is now the sixth boss??) shoots a cannon straight through the battleship causing critical damage. the guy the first boss was based on (who is apparently both alive _and_ well _**and**_ aboard the ship that you not only pilot but also literally are) uses his sword to activate an emergency ejection system that ejects the front of the ship that _used_ to literally be you but is no longer because the entity known as "you" was just forcibly ejected from the ship and is now simply kirbo in a robosuit who is now rocketing toward the sixth boss (who is the fifth boss created by the casing blown off the fourth boss who, itself, is the fusion of the third boss and the room that the first and second boss were fought in). kirbo does some fancy robo tricks and basically drills a hole straight through the sixth boss who then violently explodes in a fashion that makes you go "okay, there's _no_ way he's getting back from that." but you're still sitting and waiting for the end credits _just_ in case.
but then you sit and watch the end credits and get hit with a "the end?" after they're over because FUCK you this ride is NEVER over