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Damage

The not so roaring 20's

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Soooooo, we've all or at least many of us have reached that point in our life. The one where it seems life is handing out free "fuck yous" and you always seem to be first in line. You try and try but something seems to have it out for you and take the little glories to diminish your work, time and effort. I've been a film maker for roughly ten years and have plenty of shows, commercials, short films, etc under my belt but none of them have really paid the bills all too well and my day jobs are... lackluster at best. While this rant may seem to be the idling of a depressed person I'm far from it. Just tired. I can't say I need a pick me up as much as a direction. What do you do in this scenario. I've powered through tough situations all my life and my friend told me that this method isn't sustainable. I want to take a step back and look at what I have done and can do... My question to all who are reading this. Is how do you take steps in a direction when you don't even know where to face? I'm aware I'm doing something wrong and it stems from my inability to seek help from those in the know but lord help if I know who to ask at this point and yes I have started to ask, regardless of reluctance.

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3 hours ago, Damage said:

Soooooo, we've all or at least many of us have reached that point in our life. The one where it seems life is handing out free "fuck yous" and you always seem to be first in line. You try and try but something seems to have it out for you and take the little glories to diminish your work, time and effort. I've been a film maker for roughly ten years and have plenty of shows, commercials, short films, etc under my belt but none of them have really paid the bills all too well and my day jobs are... lackluster at best. While this rant may seem to be the idling of a depressed person I'm far from it. Just tired. I can't say I need a pick me up as much as a direction. What do you do in this scenario. I've powered through tough situations all my life and my friend told me that this method isn't sustainable. I want to take a step back and look at what I have done and can do... My question to all who are reading this. Is how do you take steps in a direction when you don't even know where to face? I'm aware I'm doing something wrong and it stems from my inability to seek help from those in the know but lord help if I know who to ask at this point and yes I have started to ask, regardless of reluctance.

What I've personally done is probably not helpful to your case since our careers seem to be quite different. I like to make safe decisions- I'm not a risk-taker in any sense of the word. So instead of leaping out to find a job right out of college, I chose to go to grad school and now I'm working to get my PhD while getting a (comparatively) generous stipend. Probably sacrificing years of my youth, but I'm happy here with like-minded, kind people.

What's common for both of us, and likely everybody else, is that networking is important. Get acquainted with as many people as possible. Ask your friend to introduce you to his/her friend of a friend, anything! The more people you know, the better your references will be, and you'll learn a thing or two from those relationships. If you're like me, socially awkward and introverted, you'll find the task daunting, but I'm afraid it's the surest way to get you somewhere. After all, who you know is more important than what you can do, unfortunately.

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7 minutes ago, Candy said:

What I've personally done is probably not helpful to your case since our careers seem to be quite different. I like to make safe decisions- I'm not a risk-taker in any sense of the word.

Candy... My friend. Though our careers may differ exponentially I believe life will treat us arguably the same. Your risk may not have seemed as mighty to you but spending so much time in grad school could have backfired and you knew the risks but you chose to pursue your dreams in spite of it. I envy your forthforwardness. What I've taken away from your journey is following a dream and setting out a straightforward path. I most certainly thank you for the time you took to respond. I am not at my best point and appreciate all the time one takes to respond here, now more than ever.

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On 11/29/2018 at 3:16 AM, Damage said:

My question to all who are reading this. Is how do you take steps in a direction when you don't even know where to face?

Damage, I created an account here just to reply to this, so I want to thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts in such a sincere and elegant way.
My first impression is that we seem to share a lot in common with each other.
I too come from a film background (just finished my uni degree in England) and am currently swimming in similar waters, though perhaps for different reasons in a different ocean of spacetime, as I'm younger and inexperienced with working/adult life.
The question you ask is something I think about every single day in one way or another, and considering I have had lots of free time to pursue whatever I wanted in life, I have accepted that it will keep on following me forever.
This has made me feel a great deal of a very subtle form of anxiety, one that I think most introspective people must live with every day, and I can only think of a single thing that makes this anxiety go away every time, which is an answer to your problem:

1. Ask a better question.

2. Follow it until a better one comes along.

Rinse and repeat.

It may not be the biggest "secret formula" answer that we might romanticise about seeking and finding, but it works every single time in any situation. A better question can be anything that you're curious enough to follow, from the depths of "What is the purpose of life and the universe" to the ever present "What am I having for dinner tonight".
By asking better questions you will be guided to take steps in a direction you don't even know you're following, the same way that both of us ended up in the place where we are right now, mostly through blindly seeking answers to what seemed like better questions in the past.

I hope this helps in any way possible, and I also agree with Candy that meeting new people is the surest way to new adventures. Life is a multiplayer game where you get to write your solo campaign, but a multiplayer game nonetheless.
Find some cool NPC's to spend time with and have fun with your journey!

---

P.S: On a personal note, my specific burden with finding direction is that I have too many directions (questions) that I'd like to follow, all of them very enticing and challenging in distinct ways, so instead I choose not to choose one, and focus on seeking better questions.
Which ironically only leads to more directions and keeps the cycle going. My simple solution: being intentionally or unintentionally forced to choose one question/direction (start a creative project for example) and focus on it for a long time.
But you know.. easier said than done 😉 

 

Edited by T.E.Unicorn
improved english speak ;)
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On 12/1/2018 at 12:04 PM, T.E.Unicorn said:

Damage, I created an account here just to reply to this, so I want to thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts in such a sincere and elegant way.


1. Ask a better question.

2. Follow it until a better one comes along.

Rinse and repeat.



---

P.S: On a personal note, my specific burden with finding direction is that I have too many directions (questions) that I'd like to follow, all of them very enticing and challenging in distinct ways, so instead I choose not to choose one, and focus on seeking better questions.
Which ironically only leads to more directions and keeps the cycle going. My simple solution: being intentionally or unintentionally forced to choose one question/direction (start a creative project for example) and focus on it for a long time.
But you know.. easier said than done 😉 

 

Hey T.E, 

 

   Sorry for the late reply. Things got a little crazy and have finally settled down. I'm really glad you opened an account. The people here are great to talk with and often offer a good piece of advice.

 

I like your two step process of asking a better question and following it through. It sounds simple but that's not a bad thing in my opinion. Too often do I complicate things. I've made strides to improve on that shortcoming. Asking what "could" I be doing is exhausting. I've started just asking myself in each moment what do I want to do then and there. I figure take enough baby steps and you'll reach the goal. Slow and steady and all that right?

 

   Believe me, I fully understand having a lot of fun challenging and interesting things you want to do and trying to do them all. My advice when you can (I say often ignoring my own advice) just choose the first one that comes to mind. Its a crazy sentiment sometimes but honestly the thing that you think about first is usually the one you want the most. Its how I am with writing. Whichever idea comes to me and sticks first is the one I write about. Then I worry about where to go from there. That isn't to say throw caution and foresight to the wind. Just focus on the piece that really sticks to you.

 

Lastly agreed. Its always easier said than done. Good times.... good times.

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