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Despair Syndrome

A Horrendously Written Guide to Pokemon Rejuvenation™

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CHAPTER 0 – Prelude to a Masterpiece


Once upon a time, a beautiful, elegant and charming young lass by the name of Despair (any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental) opened up her laptop and decided to crack open a game of Overwatch. She picked Mercy on attack Numbani to help support her teammates.

As one of her teammates decided to be Torbjorn and build a turret on the payload, a fellow Winston player jumped into the enemy team and died immediately, all the while screaming “no heals gg”. Meanwhile, a Genji is spamming “I need healing!” halfway across the map as two Hanzos skillfully miss all their arrows.

It was at this moment that Despair thought ‘Fuck it’ and went Zenyatta. Halfway through her Transcendence ult, she suddenly entered a state of nirvana. ‘What if’ she thought, ‘I used this time to write the Horrendously_Written_Guide_to_Rejuvenation™ I promised a few months back? It will definitely help the folks at Reborn! Instead, I am wasting my time here, queuing with shitty teams for loot crates (Cause loot crates are the reason we play Overwatch in the first place).’

Then she got killed by a Junkrat ult.

After the game, she immediately closed Overwatch, opened up Microsoft Word and began tapping away. Word by word, a Horrendously_Written_Guide_to_Rejuvenation™ formed in front of her very eyes.

Then she went back to playing Overwatch cause she really needed those loot crates for a Mercy legendary.



Normal - Everything Else

Pink - Chubb Notes

Red - Items #ff1111

Blue - Sidequests #00fff9

Green - Battles/Pokemon Encounters #49ff00

Yellow - Character Boxes #e3ff00

Orange - Branching Story Paths



- Discussion Thread

- Rejuvenation Directory/FAQ (literally all the helpful links are in here) - Read it or Zumi will fight you (ง’̀-‘́)ง



People who contributed much to the guide!

- SansTheSkeleton (Wild encounters and boss data)

- Futility4Ever (Boss strategies)

- Neco (For stuff that I missed)

- IntSys (For stuff that I missed)


Hello and welcome to… *drum roll*


Property of Despair&Chubb co.


It’s been a long time coming and I guess it is about time I get into writing this. Now, a bit of foreword before we dive right in.

Unlike my previous Horrendously_Written_Guide™, which is merely a continuation of another guide and is focused on getting you through the story, this guide’s gonna be much different.

Instead of trying to rush you through the story, I’ll instead cover everything. Sidequests, events, treasures, everything. Therefore, this guide will be able to cater to all those COMPLETIONIST™ out there.

Of course, Rejuvenation is a massive game. Getting everything 100% is a gargantuan feat. That’s why I’ll need some help. First things first, I have good ol’ Chubb (sweet guy) helping me out on this, sorta like a guide collab, you guys will know him for his Perfectly_Written_Guide_to_Reborn (not trademarked as of yet sadly), he’ll be adding notes here and there (you guys will probably be seeing him a lot judging the viability of Pokemon) and you can recognize his notes as they’ll be in Pink text.


Next, I’m gonna have to make a selfish request here, but I’m asking a favor from all the beta-testers/developers/Jan (love you, bro), may I have the PBS file for Rejuvenation? I promise I won’t abuse it in (I have no idea how to anyway). I’m currently compiling boss and wild encounter data from Editor.exe with the Reborn PBS (It broke halfway through chapter 1), and if you guys have been on Editor.exe for 5 minutes you’ll know that it’s a pain in the bum to navigate. So… pretty please? C:

Chubb has it. luv u bb.


And lastly, I’ll need help from all of you, my dear readers! No matter how many Chubbs or PBS files I have, there’s still gonna be mistakes or things that I miss, so it’s up to you to point them out in the Discussion Thread. If you have pictures to contribute or strategies to share or even just a simple question, there would be the place to do it too.

With that out of the way, let’s dive in-

Whoa there, cowboy. I’m not even done with the disclaimers yet. There’s still many more to go. Please read these disclaimers to ensure maximum enjoyment is obtained when reading my guide. They’re all sorted from most important to least.



There’s gonna be spoilers. Lots of them. Viewer discretion is adviced.


All jokes in this guide are purely for entertainment purposes and in no way am I trying to offend any of you. I’ll try to tone down on the savage jokes, but there’s probably that individual out there who’ll get triggered by everything. If you are that individual, know that I am the butt of many Asian jokes concerning my eyes and my love of cats for dinner and I am perfectly fine with it. Some of them are even pretty funny.

For the record, I absolutely love cats. (As pets, not dinner)


Sidequests are skippable. Don’t worry my Horrendous audience who only want to get on with the story, I won’t forget you guys either. Sidequests in an area have their own section dedicated to them and they’re gonna be written in Blue text.

So if you want to get on with the story, remember, blue text = skippable.


Character bashing. Sorry, Jan, but I have something mean to say to almost every damn character on this game. By no means do I imply that any of the characters are badly designed or written (unless I explicitly say so), in fact, I think most of the characters in this game are fantastically written. Only well-written characters can have a potential for me to hate them. There’s a difference between characters I hate and those that I find boring.

Besides, fictional characters were made to be laughed at right?


This guide is written on the regular Reborn level difficulty (which is still tough as nails, thx Jan), which I assume most of you will be playing on.

If you want to enjoy the story and picked the easiest difficulty, you can safely ignore all the tips and tricks for the bosses and sweep them with your Speed Boost Blaziken or something.

On the other hand, if you’re a masochist and picked the hardest difficulty, then wtf is wrong with you? The game is already tough as it is, are you insane? Good luck, you’ll need it, you madman. I mean that as a compliment.


Unlike my previous guide, I’m going to put all pictures into spoilers (With nice little captions in them). This is so that it won’t take forever to load the bloody guide and you can jump right in to the chapter you were before.

So don’t be afraid because you can’t find the Potion which I pointed out in text. Chances are, there’s a picture telling you where it is! Probably.


And with those disclaimers read and gotten over with (I hope you read them), it’s time to finally enter the guide. Alright guys…


PS - I just realized how insanely text-heavy my guide is, so uh, grab a coffee so you don't want to doze off halfway?

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CHAPTER 1 – Can You Really Call This a Chapter, I Didn’t Receive a Pokemon Battle or Anything

TASK – Get this horrendously long intro over with.


Wow, he does not look happy. Off to a good start here, title screen. C’mon man, lighten up, you’re part of a Horrendously_Written_Guide™ after all!

Actually now that I think about it, that gives him more reason to be depressed. Huh.

Our story starts with someone telling their child a story (storyception) about a Zorua and a Pangoro. The gist of it is that they had a Mexican standoff and it ended in a tie (which is definitely bullshit, Pangoro obviously has the advantage over Zorua).

They ended up being friends. What’s the TV Trope for something like this? One day, Zorua decided it was a good idea to pretend to be his best friend’s deceased mother. “That would surely give him a good ol spook!” I quote Zorua, I shit you not.

Basically Pangoro walks home to see his dead mother, drops all his precious food whilst Zorua cries “It’s just a prank, bro” in the background. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Pangoro found a golden apple. What this golden apple does, we will never know, for the story ends there.

And congratulations, you have wasted 5 minutes of your life reading this story and another 5 minutes reading a shitty summary written by yours truly as this story is completely irrelevant to the main game. Congratulations.

. . .


Sidetracking a bit here. I just wanted to say that that was not the intro I was greeted with the first time I played. It used to be some girl getting sacrificed with spooky music playing in the background.


Hello, World!

Anyway, you wake up as Maria, with one of the most stereotypical waking up monologue ever.

Walk out to the living room (feel free to interact with the stuff around here for some character flavor). Maria’s mother will ask her to get her father, who’s in the study.

But since this is an RPG, it’s our responsibility to check out everything but the place we’re going to. Uh, I know that’s pretty Out of Character for me since I’m the one who wrote the other Horrendously_Written_Guide™ but bear with me. We’re not getting anything done if you’re gonna start questioning my random personality swap.

The bottom right exit leads outside the house. Maria’s mom will stop her if you try so don’t bother. To the top left corner, there’s two rooms for you to check out, a lower and upper one.

Maria’s dad is in the upper room, so that means we’ll be going in the second. I’m a rebel. Just try and stop me, mom.

You’ll be greeted by some stairs. Maria says she isn’t allowed in there. Well I’m not allowed into the local bar cause I’m underage and guess what?

I uh… I stay away from it cause I’m a respectful, law-abiding citizen. But this is a video game so fuck it, we’re going in-


Illusion of Choice™

What. What the hell. It turns out Maria is a law-abiding citizen as well! Ba-damnit, Jan. What’s the point of giving us an option if they both do the same thing? Note that I’m playing this intro bit blind cause updates so I basically just wasted my time typing the previous few paragraphs and you have wasted your time reading them.

Anyway, with your little misadventure out of your way, go grab daddy at the upper room. Maria will tell his dad to get his cheeky lil ass butt to breakfast. He procrastinates, like all dads do, so simply return and talk to your mother.

Mom will then ask you to freshen up upstairs. Uh oh, lood scenes incoming.

But instead of lood scenes, we’re given green light and ominous music. Then there’s a crash downstairs. Since you’re a young little girl with a bright future ahead of her, we’re gonna check it out.

Come down to meet this weirdly dressed lady (?). She monologues with herself about chaos and what not. Maria is having none of that shit. The weirdly dressed lady then casually tells Maria that her parents (Maria’s, not the lady’s) are downstairs.


"i m u, bt frm teh futur"

Sure, let’s listen to the oddly dressed lady shouting weird things in your house. The lady gives you some words of encouragement before you leave. With a thumbs-up and a “Gotcha, fam”, Maria heads downstairs.

Come down to see Maria’s dad sacrificing his wife. Uh. I’ll just quietly run away, I’m sure Child-Protection Services will- Oh nope. Go intercept him. Ba-damnit, Maria.

. . .

And boom! This was the scene that I first played through on my first run. Therefore, I totally know exactly what to do. All you have to do is keep heading straight cause this place is literally just a straight line.



Note how her name changes to Marianette here. Ominous indeed. Anyway, you come out to meet a guy and his harem of maids. Looks like something straight out of a doujin. Tags: “dirty old man” (Yes, that is an actual doujin tag).


I always wondered how one pronounces "...!", I pronounce in a "*gasp*" kinda way.

Dirty Old Man then summons the lord, Arceus. The maid standing on the pedestal then vanishes into nothingness, Dr Manhattan style. Maria’s next it seems.

Maria promptly declines. Tbh, I would too if I saw a maid getting turned into electrons. But you had plenty of chances to back out earlier, Maria. Ba-damnit, the maids grab her.

She begs for her life as the Dirty Old Man utters that weird Arceus chant, oblivious to the fact that somewhere in this world, a 13-year old has Arceus in his Pokeball. And tearing noises as Maria presumably gets torn into negatively-charged particles.

Nice touch, Jan.

. . .



1 - Trainer Registration

2 - Banquet Hall

3 - Storage Room

4 - To Deck (SW)

5 - To Deck (SE)

6 - To Deck (NW)

7 - To Deck (NE)

TASK – Get another horrendously long intro over with.

And milliseconds after that tearing noise comes one of the most anticlimactic things to ever happen in a Pokemon fangame.


C’mon, things were starting to heat up.

You get 3 difficulty options: Casual, Normal and INTENSE™. Guess which we’re going for. If you guessed wrongly, in addition to not reading the disclaimers I put up there, you are also not very bright. Luckily, I’m here, so even the dullest of you can manage to get through all of Jan’s demonic little puzzles.


We get a nice little intro with a some cheery music. Hard to imagine that we just watched a little girl get brutally murdered a few minutes ago huh.

Meet Amaria. Like 80% of the other Rejuvenation cast, I don’t like her. But not now. She’s a nice change of pace. She gives some lore on the land of Aevium, which is where Rejuv’s set in.


No, not really. Are Pokemon the little critters that life here revolves around on? Seriously Amaria, this is the equivalent to asking someone if they’ve ever heard of grass.

She then goes on to explain about the Aevium League. Part of me wishes that we can just go to Aevium, finish the league and get it over with. But that’s probably as simple as clearing the Reborn league while there’s, lord, twenty gym leaders stuck in orphanages?


I would say a smart-ish look best fits me. I have glasses, long hair. My friends say I look like- Oh wait you were asking my gender? Ba-damnit, Amaria. Why can’t you be like your Reborn counterpart?

Anyway, once your character is created, Amaria tells us that we should meet her at Gearen Laboratory after our boat docks. Take a picture, trick. I’m on a boat, bitch.

. . .

After that, the lady at the counter gives you your trainer card. She tells you it isn’t verified whilst casually breaking the fourth wall. With that, you’re free to move around the ship! Completely, uh, Pokemon-less.

But before that. Boom, character box!

The Protagonist


Main Type: Your choice!

Role: Protagonist (duh)

Now character boxes may be a new concept to you. The gist of it is that I write stuff about a character once they enter the story for my own entertainment. And who better to start with than our protagonist!

The protagonist ties with Melia as my most favorite character in this game. For a Pokemon fangame, Jan nails the silent protagonist better than most other actual games I’ve seen. And that’s saying something.

The protagonist isn’t just your Pokemon avatar who represents you in running around and destroying a bunch of Youngster’s hopes and dreams. Rejuv’s protagonist actually has their own story and (dare I say it) character development which is actually tied to the main game’s storyline, and I think that’s pretty neat.

Also the picture I used is the female protagonist cause that’s the one I picked and I’m too lazy to find the other protagonist sprites.

Feel free to talk with the people here. They don’t offer anything useful, so you might as well leave. As soon as you exit, you’ll meet another cool character. None other than the protagonist’s mom!

Now as much as I hate shoving another character box down your throat. I guess I’ll have to.



Main Type: Fairy

Role: Mom (duh)

I legit don't know if the other protag's moms have different sprites.

I like the protagonist’s mom. Period. Mainly because she is so much like my mom. Cheery, optimistic and smart. And unlike the other moms in the series, she (like the protagonist) plays a role in the game’s plot.

There’s definitely more to her than meets the eye, but we won’t be seeing much of that for now. Maybe because we spend the first half of this game looking for her.

Whoops spoilers. :^o

Mom tells you about a spectacular event behind some doors. She tells you to walk around the ship talking to people. This is such a huge contrast to the action-packed previous intro, I’m not even sure if they’re the same game.

Your room is on the top left (labeled A on the map), as your Mom probably told you. If you speak to her, she’ll ask you to talk with the people around the ship. Now, I’m not exactly sure what you must do to progress at this point, but I assume you must talk to everybody in this bloody ship. Huh.

In the leftmost room on the middle row (labeled E), you can see these weird pebble things, stand on it and interact with the wall for some eavesdropping.


Yup, definitely looks like a spot where we can eavesdrop.

For some reason, eavesdropping in this game somehow equates to looking through the wall and seeing a lady put on a weird uniform whilst planting a bomb.

Planting a bomb. You now have critical information about an imminent terrorist attack on this boat and what does your character do? Ignore it of course. Gotta immerse yourself in the silent protagonist role.


Make me.

On the second cabin from the right at the lower hallway (labeled H), this lady won’t let you look into her cabinets. Damn you, lady! You know full well that looting people’s wardrobes for treasure is the job of the main character of any RPG. People nowadays, so inconsiderate.

Well, I guess we’ll just wait til the ship inevitably blows up to find out what’s in here.

You can get the item from the cabinet if you go to the room if you go right after talking to Augustus, but before going to the banquet with Mom, it's a Hyper Potion (which is amazing rn)



There’s a Potion here in one of the Eastern rooms on the middle hallway. Across from where you got your Trainer Card. It’s the room labeled I.


"I'm totally fine with this teenage girl barging into my room to listen on the neighbouring rooms." - Noone Ever

The room here on the South East end (labeled K) has another eavesdropping spot. Pop in for a short cutscene featuring mom and some weird lady. We now have critical information that mom isn’t what she seems and that there’s a ticking bomb on this boat.

But our silent protagonist isn’t called silent for nothing. So they keep quiet about this too.

This is all we can do here in the cabins. Now, head West to find yourself on the deck of the S.S. Oceana. Nothing much to do here. Once you’re done chatting up the passengers, head back to the cabins and go down the stairs at the bottom left.


I’m king of the world!

You’ll find yourself at the lower area of the ship. Talk to the people here and once you’re done, head back up. This time head to the far right. Two more people here to mop up.

Lastly head up the stairs on the top right to find yourself in a nifty café, with a friendly pianist and her Jigglypuff. Talk to the lady at the counter on the far North for a free Fresh Water. Once you’re done talking to everyone here, head to the East.

You’ll be outside again. More people to talk to. Same ol’, same ol’. The lady here will give you a Rare Candy. Save it for a rainy day. On a side note, I’ve beaten Rejuvenation and I still haven’t used this Rare Candy.

Head West this time to find a sailor having trouble fixing a milkshake machine which turns out to be a healing machine. Aevium must be in a state of chaos if milkshake machines actually look like that.


“Way to go, Paul.”

Finally, head back into the café and climb the stairs at the top right. Here is the captain’s room. The captain will invite you in and he’ll introduce himself as Augustus. He and your mom were old friends apparently.

He’ll explain a bit about the Aevium League, notably, instead of an Elite 4, there is an Elite 8. Fantastic, Aevium, as if 4 consecutive battles without healing wasn’t tough enough. This also shows how incompetent Amaria is at her job, having the Aevium League rules explained by an old sailor instead.

Our protagonist also wisely chooses not to inform the captain about the bomb ticking beneath their feet. Good choice.

With that, he announces the beginning of the banquet. Bon voyage! I’ll see you there!

. . .

TASK – Banquet time! Eat to your heart’s content.

Meet your mom in front of the huge doors. Together, the both you stride into the banquet. The three of you then get seated.

What pisses me off most about this banquet is that there’s only three chairs per table. What the hell, Jan.

Augustus proceeds to give a speech. Which nice and all if a bomb wasn’t about to blow the ship up in a few minutes.


I'm not supposed to be laughing. But I am.

In a scene ripped straight from the first Harry Potter, the lady who planted the bomb gives one of the best terrorist attack quotes ever. “That’s because I’m the troll” – RIP Irrelevant Terrorist.

She tells everybody about the bomb. Been there done that. Tell me something new. Your mom asks the mysterious lady from before to get you to safety and you’re teleported away.

Cool. Why didn’t she just teleport mom as well. And also herself. Personally, I’d put my own safety ahead of others but I won’t judge.

And boom. Surprisingly and with no foreshadowing or context whatsoever, the ship blows up. Totally didn’t see that coming. If Augustus used his budget for tighter security instead of a stupid banquet, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

. . .

TASK – Blow (geddit?) this joint.

Jokes aside, I totally didn’t see these tentacles coming. Damnit, Jan, what kind of fucked up bomb is this?



You’ll wake up in the captain’s room, maybe it would help if that mysterious lady teleported us to somewhere that wasn’t this boat, huh?

Climb down the stairs to find the pianist, who watches helplessly as some kid gets dragged under by a tentacle. B A D T O U C H.

She tells you to go look for your mom back in the banquet room. This piano lady is a cool person. I like her. Exit stage, bottom left.


RIP Paul

You’ll find yourself at the cabins. But before we go find our mother, there’s more important things to do. Sorry mom, rescuing you from tentacle bombs isn’t exactly on the top of my priority list right now.

Remember that lady who didn’t want us touching her drawer? Well, I take no pride in looting the dead. But…


What is life?

It doesn’t matter. Cause it’s gone. Ba-damnit, lady. Japed once again by that damned lady. If she wasn’t dead already, I probably would’ve punched her.


Me too, man. Me too

With that done, go look for your mother in the banquet room. You’ll find Augustus in a depression episode a la that cameraman from King Kong. I’m sorry, man, but there are more important things to be worried about than your stupid boat.

It turns out your mom jumped down a hole trying to extinguish fires. Considering we’re on a boat that’s probably sinking, I think that’s kind of stupid. Our protagonist wants to jump too, and Augustus shits all over our pride by saying that we should take the stairs instead.

Geez, old man. Rescuing our mother is top priority, we shouldn’t waste time walking down some stupid stairs. It’d be like wasting time trying to loot the dead which we totally didn’t just do!


Don't mind me, just popping in.

Ignoring the deranged old man, leave the banquet room back to the cabins. Exit stage, bottom left.

With water spraying about a la geyser, I don’t there’s many fires for our mom to extinguish, but that’s beside the point. As long as her heart’s in the right place.

Go to the room at the top right. This is the storage room, where there’s many water and nada fire. (I’m surprised MS Word’s grammar check didn’t underline any of that)

You guys have a sweet reunion before this purple haired bitch walks in with her posse of Deoxys… Deoxyses? Deoxi? Plural of Deoxys. She walks in with her posse of PluralOfDeoxys™.

Turns out she’s only after ur mom. Oooo. Pretty overkill, don’t you think? Our mom thinks so too. These bad guys are shit at kidnapping. As a side note, later on, you’ll find that these bad guys are shit at pretty much everything they do, but it always works. Somehow. Damnit, Jan.


Is Dexoy the plural of Deoxys? Or is it her Deoxys’ nickname? Or is she just stupid and mispronounced Deoxys? I’m going with the “She’s stupid” one.

Anyway, mom willingly gets kidnapped. She gets grasped by a bunch of tentacles (Bad touch) asking you to gtfo. Normally I’d argue, but I don’t want to end up in a weird doujin position, so I’d say run.

You run out only to find a Deoxys closing in on you. And with a heroic cry (“Justice rains from above!”) a piano smashes that thing. Logic dictates that it’d probably just blow the piano into pieces, but it works, so I won’t argue.

Turns out it’s the piano lady. 30 minutes in, and one of my favorite characters is down for the count. Get used to it, Rejuvenation does this a lot. Meanwhile shitty characters, (I won’t name one, but it rhymes with ‘Hen’) survive and prosper.

Our protagonist runs out to the deck. Good idea. Even if there weren’t any bad guys here, where would you go now? Our protagonist isn’t really a very bright person, but she gets better. Hence, character development.

Luckily for us, the strongest Pokemon in the game who could totally 1v6 a team of Deoxys swoops down and rescues us.


Not Brave Bird. 0/10

The bad guy in black then calls for a tactical retreat. Uh, I don’t want to rain on your parade, big bad, but where exactly do you tactical retreat to? You’re stuck on a sinking ship. Also he leaves the screen towards the left, as if there’s anything there other than the bow of the ship.

The bad guys aren’t exactly very bright either.

. . .



1 - To Gearen City

2 - Harbor (You'll be here quite a bit in the near future)

TASK – Get a Pokemon. (Finally!)

Meet Tesla, your savior (she’s the lady, not the Talonflame). Your protagonist explains what happened to her, if they had explained that there was a bomb on the ship to Augustus, maybe this wouldn’t have happened, but hey, it’s a step in the right direction.

Tesla is a member of the Elite 8, so you’ll probably come to hate her 50 hours from now (Talonflame used Brave Bird!). I’ll do a character box on her later when she becomes more relevant to the plot. With that, she leaves on the back of her Talonflame.

Uh, Mrs Tesla! I think you forgot your boat…

Anyway, you’re free to explore the docks. There’s nothing much here except for some people who are waiting for the S.S. Oceana to dock. Well I hate to break it to you…


What would you do if a kid walks up to you and tells you that the ship has sunk?

Once you’re done walking around aimlessly, head to the huge building up north. That’s the entrance to Gearen City.

. . .


You’ll need a passport to enter Gearen, which is really stupid. No other city here in Aevium does this. Ba-damnit. Anyway, talk to the lady at the counter and she’ll renew and verify your trainer card for you.

There’s nothing else for you to do here, so let’s go to Gearen!

Welcome to Garen City, where armour-clad men randomly jump out of bushes and spin at you. Wait, that’s a different city.

This part of the game is pretty cheery, considering your mother just got kidnapped by an evil organization.

Gearen is huge. I’ll say that now. It’s easy to get lost your first time here so I’ll be providing map on the second part. For now, you can only go straight. See you at Gearen Laboratory.



And you’re greeted by Amaria! Ugh. She asks what took us so long. As our protagonists opens their mouth to tell her that the ship they were on sunk and that their mother was kidnapped by an evil organization, Amaria proceeds to say it doesn’t matter. Damn you.



Main Type: Don’t know and I’m too bloody lazy to check. I think she uses Fire types...?

Role: Scout (? What does a scout in Pokemon do anyway?)

I don’t like Amaria. Don’t worry, Amaria, I don’t like 80% of the cast, so you’re definitely not alone. She just irks me y’know. Her light-hearted take on everything going on in Rejuv pisses me off.

For example, that scene just now. Rejuv is a pretty dark game and things go down the shitter here in Aevium all the time. Amaria, however, gives zero fucks.

Luckily, she’s not relevant to the plot (With her attitude, it’s hard for her to be), so we’ll not be seeing much of her. She just gives us our Pokemon and that’s it. No more Amaria.

Feel free to have a look around Gearen Laboratory. There’s not much here other than people to talk to. Once you’re done familiarizing yourself, speak to Amaria.

She casually calls you a ‘newbie’ (Bitch, I’ll have you know I beat Reborn) before showing you in. As you walk through the door, you collide with another trainer. Despite the rude first impression, she’s one of the rare characters in Rejuv that I actually like. Remember her.

Climb up the stairs and go into the room. The two of you walk into Professor Jenner, having a little one-on-one with some lady on the screen. This is obviously very dodgy. Anyone having a one-on-one video chat session with some weird lady is dodgy. Especially if you quickly AltTab out of there once you’re aware of someone’s existence.

Amaria, however, gives no fucks. Even though this Professor could potentially be hooking up a camgirl. Or maybe even working with an evil organization. Amaria simply gives no fucks. Anyways, Prof Jenner.

Professor Jennerson


Main Type: N/A

Role: Professor

I don't think this guy actually has a sprite other than his overworld one, so here's a picture of Oak.

The prof and I have a sort of love-hate relationship, I'll be honest, I like the guy, but he just pisses me off sometimes.

Ignoring the camgirl, he's actually a pretty cool dude. He does quite a few favors for the protagonist and ends up being likeable in his own way. Then you hate him. Then you will like him again. The prof is an emotional rollercoaster

One of the biggest downsides with him is that he isn't named after a tree. I am obviously very disappointed.

Oh yeah, he's also Melia's dad. Probably.

Anyway, Prof Jenner casually acts like nothing happened and tells you how to pick your starter. Bitch please, I’ve done this countless times already.


It's an elevator, I think? But the lady calls it a pod...

Head into the Starter Collection... Pod? (Don’t question it, Despair, don’t question it) Once you’re in, Amaria comes and interrupts. Damn you, Amaria, I want to ponder my selection in silence!


Starter Pokemon:




Jackpot Starters: axew.pngralts.pngeevee.png

Worth nothing is that Axew currently is the only jackpot starter unavailable through other means. Other than the Mystery Egg. So basically both choices revolve around RNG. RIP.

The gist of it is that there are 3 biomes: Grass, Water and Fire, with the starters of each respective type running around being all Pokemon-ish. If you’re indecisive “like 80% of America”, feel free to use the Jackpot machine to let RNG decide.

The Jackpot machine might even give you a starter that’s completely different from all the other starters in this room. You can see what those starters are above.

The first time I played, I got a Turtwig from the Jackpot machine. Needless to say I quickly F12’d outta there. I never touched it since.

Until today that is, I’m currently rerolling for a Ralts. I’ll check back in once I get one and we can continue with this guide.

Back guys, the first Ralts I got had an Adamant nature. Thanks, RNG…

With your Pokemon selected, feel free to leave-



Oh nope, we’re stuck here til we defeat Amaria. Fine then. Prepare to get curbstomped, bitch.

A nice little touch before the battle is that Amaria will comment on which starter you picked. Damnit, I don't need you to judge my choices!


Take that meme back to 2012 2005, Amaria.

EDIT: After a little googling research, I found that this Mudkipz meme is in fact, a 2005 one. Damnit, Amaria.



Items: N/A

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

fennekin.pngFennekin (Lv. 5) Random Ability: Tackle, Tail Whip

- Ooh, boy. Our first Pokemon battle. After like an hour. I’m so hyped for this scratch-off.

- So yeah, the battle is pretty much the same as any rival battle you fought in previous Pokemon games. Just scratch them to death. Simplez.



I totally did not lose this battle.

Once that’s done, Prof Jenner catches you guys getting all kinky. Go away, old man. Go look at your camgirl or something. Anyway, Amaria gives us some Pokeballs, the first (and only) favor she does for us in this game.

When Amaria, finally leaves, Prof Jenner decides it’s a good idea to talk to you about his daughter. But nope, we’re interrupted by another annoying person. Meet Ren.



Main Type: Dark

Role: Rival

I hate Ren. I hate him more than I hate Amaria. I might even go so far as to say he’s the character I hate the most in this game, and that’s saying something.

He’s not so bad now, but he somehow manages to become douchier as the game progresses. Cocky bastard. Trust me, you’ll learn to hate him too.

And besides, anybody who has Murk/Honchkrow as their ace are never good people.

The professor decides that you should fight Ren. Ugh. Fine, another scratch-off it is…



Items: N/A

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

froakie.pngFroakie (Lv. 5) Random Ability: Pound, Growl

- As if he wants to make me hate him, he starts the battle saying “Beginner’s luck quickly runs out”. Uh, Ren? The battle hasn’t even started yet and you’re acting all cocky.

- Basically another scratch off. Show his Froakie no mercy.



I totally did not lose this battle either.

Anyway, Prof Jenner asks him to get back to work, which is the professor equivalent to asking someone to fuck off. I’m starting to like Prof Jenner, despite him being all creepy in his room.

Prof Jenner asks you to go look for his daughter, Melia, who’s in Route 1. We have to take a train and head through Goldenwood Forest to get there. Sorry, prof, but my mom needs rescuing and-


The prof sure knows how to please a lady.

HOLY SHIT RUNNING SHOES. Thanks, Prof! I’ll get your daughter for you ASAP!

With that, the prof takes his leave. He somehow runs straight upwards instead of turning right and climbing the stairs. What the- did he just disappear into the jackpot machine or something?

Anyway, take the elevator down. Your adventure has officially begun… (After an hour’s worth of intros)


"Listen to my story. This... may be our last chance."

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CHAPTER 2 – Your Story Begins Here Nope Just Sidequesting


Booting up the game after a nice nap and this is what greets me. What the fuck.

TASK – Find Melia at Route 1 and rescue her from inevitable danger.

I just realized that we bumped into Melia on the way in, and just 5 minutes after that, the good ol’ prof asks us to go check on her. Hate to break it to you, prof, but she’s probably still on the train to Goldenwood.

Go back down to the bottom level of the lab but before you leave, talk to the rightmost girl at the counter. A new facility has been opened up to you – the EV Training Centre.

You can train your Pokemon’s EVs here, which is a really neat feature. Sadly, only the HP and Speed rooms are available at this point of the game. If you chose a sweeping starter (Blaziken, Greninja etc.) you may want to max out their Speed EVs right off the bat here.

Note that HP Room is pretty good for grinding since the Clefairys and the Jigglypuffs give decent EXP for Pokemon between levels 1-12.

Once you’re done with everything here in the lab, feel free to re-enter Gearen City.

. . .

TASK – Complete a shit ton of sidequests. Melia and mom can wait.


Central Gearen


1 - To Oceana Pier

2 - To East Gearen

3 - Gearen Laboratory

4 - Velvet Apartments

5 - Violet Apartments

6 - Emerald Apartments

7 - Leaflet Park

8 - Name Rater's House

9 - Jenkel's Lab

10 - Gearen Train Station

11 - Magnolia Library

12 - Gearen Help Centre

13 - To West Gearen

East Gearen


1 - To Central Gearen

2 - Berry Store

3 - Pokeball Store

4 - Petal Salon

5 - Day Care Centre

6 - Venam's House

7 - Karrina's Base

8 - Gearen Sewers

9 - To Chrisola Hotel

10 - Bicycle Store

11 - Aqua Apartments

12 - To East Gearen N

East Gearen N


1 - To East Gearen

2 - Pokemon Centre Mr Luck's Tent

3 - Chrisola Hotel

4 - Gearen Gym

Wild Pokemon:




From this point on, wild Pokemon and wild trainers will be attacking you here at Gearen, so watch out. Now our goal is to go check on Melia, but since this is a COMPLETIONIST™ guide, we’re going exploring first.

Note that if you're having any trouble (or lack thereof), you can visit Mr Luck's Tent in East Gearen to change your, uh... luck...? Look, it's for switching difficulties alright.

The first time's free, but any subsequent visit will cost 3 red, blue or green shards.

This is the first time the handsome Blue text is gonna show up and it definitely won’t be the last. If you wanna go ahead with the story, then feel free to ignore all this nifty BlueText™.


I freakin love this sign.

Salary yet?!





Wild Pokemon:pidove.pnghoothoot.pngoddish.pngburmy.png

Event Pokemon:pachirisu.png


You can find a Gourmet Treat here which we'll be using soon.

First things first, go ahead and check out the first building to your the West. This is the Velvet Apartments. On the highest floor there’s some grass where you can catch wild Pokemon.


A rooftop of Dragonslayers.

Nothing spectacular, but notably this is the only place in Gearen where you can nab a Burmy, so I’d suggest you do that before leaving. If you come here at night, there’ll be Pachirisu running about. If you give it a Gourmet Snack (which is Rejuv’s version of Pokesnax), it’ll battle you. You can get Gourmet Snacks at the market street in East Gearen for 2000$ a pop.


This guy here will give you a Reverse Candy if you talk to him.


After leaving the Velvet Apartments, continue down the street. The next building here is the Violet Apartments. Remember, if you ever get lost, you can always refer to the map.

The room on the first floor has a girl and her depressed Lillipup. Rememebr this place, we’ll be coming to nab her Lillipup later. On the third floor, there’s a kid playing Danganronpa. Spoilers: your favorite character dies. Guranteed. Talk to his mother and she’ll give you a Potion.

Talk to the old lady on the fourth floor and she’ll give you another Potion. Now with our bags a little bit heavier, feel free to leave Violet Apartments. Your next destination is…


Event Pokemon:misdreavus.png

Enter the room on the first floor, the lady here will give you a Full Heal. On the second floor, some guy will ask why you’re in his house like an actual sane person. He then throws out his Pokemon in self defence. You know the drill. Sick ‘em.

On the fifth floor of the apartment, the lady will give you an Oran Berry.

Now finally, we’ll get to catch my favorite Pokemon. Enter the top floor of Emerald Apartments at night, then interact with the box on the top left corner of the room. Boop. Misdreavus.


Thanks, Jan! :D

Once you catch/kill it, you’ll told that it’s presence isn’t really gone. Touch the box again for another encounter. Whoo boy, you really know how to push my buttons, Jan. In a nice way. Basically you have infinite Misdreavus here at your disposable should you decide to begin your sick breeding program or whatever. I found one with good IVs and stuck with her.

Next up, let’s check out East Gearen.


Wild Pokemon:




Event Pokemon:voltorb.png

If you exited through the Northeastern exit, you’ll find yourself in some sort of market street, the people here sell you a bunch of basic necessities, so stock up! To note is that this place sells Gourmet Treats for 2000$ a pop. These are Rejuv’s version of Pokesnax so I’d suggest you get one or two in case you need it in a pinch. On a different days and times, different shops will appear here, Here's a list:

- MooMoo Milk: At morning, during Wednesday, Friday and Sunday

- Flutes: During daytime, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday

- Revive/Soda/Candies: During daytime, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday


This guy here sells Pokeballs for twice the average price. I don’t know what happens if you buy something (other than the fact that we just got scammed) so if you do, posting in the Discussion thread will be great!

If you keep buying from this guy, you'll eventually get a Voltorb. idk how many you need to buy, since I never did the quest.

Treasure hunting time. To the topright of the Pokemon Centre here is a Super Potion, be sure to grab that. Also, in a little alcove to the right of Chrisola Hotel is an Iron. You can also find a TM83 (I forgot what it was) by the entrance of the hotel. The Southeast end of this place houses a street gang, we’ll be dealing with them soon, but for now, grab the Reverse Candy. Where to now…?


Iron location. In case you can't find it from my perfectly detailed instructions.


Event Pokemon:bunnelby.png

To the East of the ‘+’ shaped fountain is another one of these damn apartments. Barge right on in. With security like this, no wonder Team Xen, shit as they are, are such a prominent threats.

Beware of the girl on the second floor, she has a level 85 Alakazam. Normally I wouldn’t advocate pussying out of a fight, but it’s not like we have a choice in this case. If you don't want to pussy out of a fight, check out the spoilers below. Coutesy of IntSys:


One way to cheese this fight in early game is to get Poochyena, Misdreavus and Geodude (which can be found in the Goldenleaf Cave).

Poochyena can wall the Alakazam while getting +6 on Howl, then proceed to bite the heck out of the spoony wizard.
Misdreavus can learn Confuse Ray at Level 14, making Machamp whittle down its own HP.
Golem is a bit tricky. You'll need to breed a Geodude with HP IVs of 19 or lower. Making its HP exactly 11 at level 1. It also needs to have the ability Sturdy.
Buy about 50 Oran Berries. Switch Geodude in against Golem, and keep using Oran Berries on Geodude every time Sturdy activates. Once Golem's PP run out, it will use Struggle instead. Keep using Oran Berries and the recoil will KO Golem.

The guy on the third floor bought a Pokeball, but the clerk gave him an Ultra Ball by mistake. Somehow, that means he has to give it away to the first person that enters his house. That would be you.

The girl on the fourth floor will trade you a Bunnelby for a male Cherubi.

At the final floor, a guy will be muttering to himself about a perfectly legal shipment. Since you happened to be there, it’s up to you to go get this shipment for him.

He tells you that the person he’s supposed to meet is at the Southeast part of Gearen, which surprisingly, isn’t the pier with the street gang. Instead, it’s North of there. You’ll stumble upon this red bloke. He’ll give you some o’ dat perfectly legal Mystery Good.


Now that I think about it, he looks more pinkish than red.

With Mystery Good in hand, jog all the way back to Aqua Apartment’s top floor. For your efforts, he gives you a Nugget. Not bad, not bad. I would easily jog 100 meters for some bling. He tells you to come back later for more perfectly legal work. Sounds fun.

How does it feel being someone’s personal delivery service? Sucks? Well get used to it. Cause that’s what we’ll be doing a lot for a lot of the future sidequests.

After that little shindig is done, head to the little section to the Northeast of Central Gearen. The pink building is Magnolia Library. There’s not much to do here except getting to know a bit more about Shadow Pokemon. Our real destination is to the left of the library…


Welcome to the Help Centre! There’s place like these scattered all about Aevium, each with their own unique set of ‘requests’, or as I like to call them - Sidequests!

These requests earn you some cash, sometimes items and some even have a chance of rewarding you with an exclusive Pokemon! That’s my kind of deal. Accept the first quest and let’s get rolling.


Rewards: 350$

Pretty paltry, but we’ll take it for the sake of the COMPLETION™.

Let me be completely honest with you, I never did any Help Requests on my main run. Nope, not one. What I’m trying to say is, I’m going into all of these help quests blind. Uhhh… yeah.

“Despair!” I hear you say, “Are you really qualified to write this guide if you-“

And to that I say, “Shut up.” If I’m not going to do it, who is eh? Besides if I missed anything, you can simply post it in the Discussion Thread. This is a COMMUNITY_EFFORT™ and I won’t be able to do this without you guys. ; )

Rant aside, let’s begin. Our petitioner is waiting for us at Gearen Labs. Let’s go!


Most Pokemon are extremely rare in Aevium.

Once you’re there, you’ll find the red-clothed lady in front of the healing station. Anyway, she just blabbers her entire life story to us. Ok, lady, what’evs, man. Like, point me to the culprits and I’ll beat the crap outta them. Oceana Pier, y’say? *cracks knuckles* Looks like those thugs won’t live to see tomorrow.


Wild Encounter:wingull.png

Event Pokemon:buizel.pngducklett.png

Before we go fisticuffs on those gangsters, there’s some stuff to do here in Oceana Pier. Firstly, the Wingull flying about. If you bump into one, you’ll be able to initiate a battle.

Next, at the leftmost South pier (where everyone was waiting for the S.S. Oceana earlier), there’ll be a Buizel hanging around (not sure if there are any other conditions for it to appear). Give it a Gourmet Snack and it’ll join your team!

Towards the Eastside, there's a Terajuma representative who will give you a free Ducklett!


Nice pic, brudda

With your roster of Pokeslaves a little larger, it’s time to rip those gangstas a new one. You’ll find them at the Southwesternmost pier, to the left of where you got your Buizel.


Just fly, you damn Starly.

You’ll find three of them ganging up on a single Starly… on bikes. (…)

They notice you and decide to go after you one at a time. (…)

Bad guys in Rejuv are pretty shit. With bad guys like this, you’d expect Aevium to be a safe, peaceful place, but nope. Law enforcement here is even more shit.

Hah. Easy. Which one of you suckers is next? Wait wha- It looks like your killing spree is interrupted by a random ninja magical lady. With some ‘bippity boppity boos’, the 3 bikers ride off into the sunset.

The lady introduces herself as Karen. She knows magic apparently. Big deal. I know how to play the piano. She gives some backstory on the Garufa. Sadly, I don’t give a shit. If this lady is gonna steal my bounty, I ain’t having none o’ dat.

Luckily she lets us collect the loot ourselves while she cleans up the mess. I like Karen. Go meet with the lady at Gearen Lab. Once you have confirmed Starly’s safety, head back to the Help Centre to collect your reward of 350$!! (…)

Now, look at the board to see your next mission.


Rewards: 500$, Free Haircut, Full Heal

If your mom was missing, I wouldn’t post a bulletin offering a measly reward. I’d instead go to the nearest police station. Anyway, you’ll find your petitioner at the Petal Salon in East Gearen.


Hmm, looks like mother isn't here.

She tells you that her mother went for a ‘private haircut’ in Aqua Apartments. Sure…

She suspects some type of foul play is involved. Only more reason for her to report to the police instead of posting a help bulletin that I might’ve ignored on my first run.

Anyway, head on to Aqua Apartments. Her mom’s client is at 4E. Talk to her, and she’ll tell you that Rosa (our missing person) came and gave her a private haircut cause the customer was being a lazy shit.

All in all, she wasn’t helpful whatsoever. For all we know, she could have Rosa’s corpse stuffed underneath that stupid sofa she’s sitting on. Return to Petal Salon.

Rosa’s daughter will give you another lead (I don’t think you can even call it a lead). 3C at Velvet Apartments. Let’s roll.

The lady here doesn’t give you any useful information either. She just tells us that Rosa came here and left. I bet this lady is in cahoots with that Aqua Apartments lady and Rosa is in fact, in a plastic bag underneath the Oceana Pier. Head back to Petal Salon. Face it kid, your mom’s gone for good.

Nope. There’s still hope! Violet Apartment 3C. Could these guys be the murderer? What do you mean murderer isn’t the right word? Rosa’s presumed dead unless she’s proven alive.

Apparently, we learn that this kid at Violet 3C is an asshole and a moron. Luckily for us, he actually has some information! Apparently he saw Rosa speak with another girl in front of the apartments. Detective Despair on the case!

The girl says that Rosa is headed towards Oceana Pier. Hm. Seems dodgy. Alright, I rest my case. Call in the forensics. We’re sweeping the ocean for a body. Return to Petal Salon, o bearer of bad news.


Dodgy indeed.

Sorry kid, we couldn’t find your mother. Don’t worry though, I have my team sweeping the nearby oceans- Ba-damnit! She ran off! After her!


This kid accomplished more than us in the span of 15 seconds.

You’ll find the daughter in front of a door at Oceana Pier. Talk to her. Apparently, she gathered intel on her own and it seems that a woman had just entered the house. Sorry kid, but uh, I’d just like to confirm with you… is your mother really a barber?

Anyway head on in, where Detective Despair and her faithful apprentice, Mr Reader shall finally put this case to a close!

Holy shit. What the fuck. I don’t even. Fuck it, let’s grab our reward.



500$ and a Full Heal to boot. Not too shabby I guess. Well you’re there, accept the next Help Request too.

Finishing this quest also allows you to use the Petal Salon’s services. Basically they give one of your Pokemon a ‘haircut’ (still not buying it, Rosa) and this will boost their happiness, once per day. Use it to help Pokemon that evolve via friendship.

Let’s see her try to give my future Litwick a haircut though.

The woman here at the bottom left is the friendship checker. When you reach max friendship with a Pokemon, she’ll say something. I don’t know what yet though, my Pokemon hate me. :c


Reward: 5x Great Balls

If you’re looking to complete the Pokedex 100%, this mission has some pretty great rewards for you, considering you can’t buy Great Balls yet. It’ll help you catch those elusive event Pokemon.

The petitioner is in the Gearen Labs. He’s looking at the bookshelf on the right. Anyway, we’re gonna be his personal delivery service (Hey, I told you to get used to it).



Today’s item to be delivered: Knawlej.

He asks you to gather info from three people. A woman at Leaflet Park, the receptionist at the Chrisola Hotel, and Karrina, the leader of the local street gang. I have no idea what these people have to do with the fucking Garufa civilization but fuck it. We didn’t take this job to ask questions.

The three people are fairly easy to find. The woman at Leaflet Park can be seen sitting on a bench with her child. The receptionist of Chrisola Hotel is at, well, Chrisola Hotel. Lastly, Karrina can be found at the Southeast end of East Gearen.


Wild Pokemon:cherubi.pngcaterpie.pngmetapod.pngoddish.png

While you’re at the Chrisola Hotel, head to the East. The man at the first room will hand you a Super Potion and you can find a TM Frustration in the third room.

You may take the elevator up to the rooftop. There’s wild Pokemon to be caught here, notably Cherubi, which you can then trade for a Bunnelby at Aqua Apartments.

Once you’re done, head to the Casino. The first room here will be a pool, and to the Northeast, the casino. I’m totally not too young to be here, please don’t kick me out. Talk to the red-haired lady here. In order to destroy her gambling addiction, she flushes her Coin Case down a toilet. Yeah, cause you can’t use your purse to keep your coins.


We can't get this til we learn to swim Surf.

For now, you can’t play on any of the machines, cause apparently, the protagonist doesn’t have a purse either and also requires a Coin Case. Unfortunately for us, the closest available Coin Case has been flushed down a toilet and is probably floating in the sewers somewhere. *wink wink nudge nudge*

With nothing else to do, you might as well leave.

Back to the sidequest. Once you finished talking to all three people, return to the guy at Gearen Labs. Anyway, you have to answer a series of questions. This is so ridiculously easy, that it’s impossible to fail. Even if you somehow manage to get the answer wrong, the guy just lets you pick again.


"The library likes decaf."

"Well the library needs to stop being a little hipster if you ask me."


Anyway, the guy comes to a logical and sound conclusion: He will never ever find the library in the entirety of his miserable existence. Or in his words, he is “royally screwed”. I like this guy.

Your rewards are back at the Help Centre. Head back and collect them, then accept the next quest.


Rewards: 350$, Nugget

This one’s gonna be stupid. I can tell from the name.

Our petitioner is in front of Leaflet Park, so let’s head on there. Talk to the black-haired guy there. Without any context whatsoever, he gives us a Love Letter, asking us to deliver it to ‘them’.

Well, I would, but I don’t know who ‘they’ are, moron. He tells us that they are at the shopping district, so let’s head on there.

You can find the letter’s recipient next to the Petal Salon. He’s the white-haired orange guy. (…) Look, Mr Client, I know you’re embarrassed, but you don’t need to hide the guy’s gender with ‘they’s and whatnot. I would’ve found out anyway.

It’s not like I’m homophobic or anything.


I love how the protagonist immediately knows who to give this to.

Go back to Leaflet Park and you’ll find Eric has been replaced by a representative. Ba-damnit, I didn’t get the chance to tell him how much of a moron he was.

She tells you that the reward is waiting for you at the Help Centre. Well, at least we got paid for that stupid little delivery game. A Nugget and 350$. Not bad considering this is the easiest mission by far. Next up we have…


Rewards: 350$, Super Potion,growlithe.png

Now this is more my style. None of that personal delivery service bullshit.

Our client is being a little dickish and doesn’t want to see us. Wahetever, cause we don’t need to. Head out to Oceana Pier. As soon as you leave the checkpoint at Gearen, head East.

You’ll run into a pack of Growlithe. Someone then thought it was a good idea to drop a Fire Stone on one of them. Nice. More EXP.

You know the drill. Sick’ em.


It's bite is definitely worse than its bark.

Now this battle can be a bit tough if you’re coming in fresh. You can do a bit of grinding around Gearen or come back after the events at Route 1. The rain in Oceana Pier will also help.

After that battle, one of the Growlithe will want to join you! Cool. Return to the Help Center for your rewards.


Rewards: 600$,litleo.png

Our final request. This guy wants to battle us. Seems simple enough, considering every single kid and their mothers wants to battle us in Pokemon games.

Meet the petitioner in the Battle Room of Chrisola Hotel, which is located in the basement.


Save me.



Items: N/A

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

helioptile.pngHelioptile (Lv. 14) Random Ability: Thundershock, Thunder Wave, Mud Slap, Tail Whip

vivillon-archipelago.pngVivillon (Lv.15) Random Ability: Psybeam, Struggle Bug, Gust, Stun Spore

poochyena.pngPoochyena (Lv. 15) Random Ability: Crunch, Howl, Sand Attack, Tackle

hawlucha.pngHawlucha (Lv. 15) Random Ability: Karate Chop, Wing Attack, Swagger

vulpix.pngVulpix (Lv. 16) Random Ability: Hex, Flame Burst, Will-O-Wisp, Headbutt

eevee.pngEevee (Lv. 17) Random Ability: Shadow Ball, Headbutt, Refresh, Quick Attack

Now this battle is tough, her Pokemon’s levels are around the 15 ranges. It’s probably gonna be your first battle against a team of 6, so a highly recommend you come back after the events of Route 1 if you’re seriously having trouble.

After the battle, we can get our rewards back at the Help Centre. Score! That trainer gave us a Litleo! Turns out she wasn’t that bad after all.

Now that we have finished all these damn sidequests, it’s time to continue on with the story.

*deep breaths*

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CHAPTER 3 – Your Story Begins in the Sewers Here

TASK – Find Melia in Route 1 and save her from inevitable danger.

Finally done with all those Gearen sidequests (for now). Remember, if you couldn’t beat some of them, you can always try again later.

Now time to find Melia. If you head up to the train station at the Northwest, the guard will tell you that the train is under maintenance. Melia didn’t even come by yet. Ba-damnit, prof. Pretty massive oversight, don’t you think?

With nothing left to do, go the gym and- Oh nope. Gym leader isn’t here either.

Looks like you’re gonna have to look for her. Conveniently, she’s located at the only house in Gearen, which is next to the Daycare.

Once you’re there, you get a taste of domestic violence and Venam comes falls in front of you. Her dying request is a Pecha Berry, which you can get from the Berry Emporium. We end up being a personal delivery service in the main story too it seems.


"...Some Kool-Aid... Walmart... please..." - Despair's Dying Words

Give her the Pecha Berry and she’ll tell you the jig’s up. Huh, I totally thought she was dying there.

Veronica Venam


Main Type: Poison

Role: Gym Leader

Venam’s cool. I mean, I don’t hate her as much as the rest of the cast. She’s silly in her own way (and not in a Ren way) and I like that, it brings some light-heartedness into an otherwise dark game.

She also has her heroic moments later on and she ends up being a good friend (unlike Ren). She basically is a bag of ‘pros’ instead of ‘cons’ (again, unlike Ren).

Gym leader-wise, I uh… How did she end up being a gym leader in the first place?

Venam tells you to meet her at the pier to the South cause she thinks you’re cool and wants you to meet her friends. Sweet. Knowing her, she probably just wants more free food though. Meet her there, she’s probably gonna bring you some place awesome!


Ugh. Ren.

Anyway, Ren tells you how much of a moron you are for thinking Melia is in Goldenwood Forest (thanks, Ren) and that she’s currently looking for a backup generator located in the- wait.

What the fuck, Venam, you brought me here!?

. . .


No map yet, sorry :c

TASK – Find Melia in Route 1 Gearen Sewers and save her from inevitable danger.

Wild Pokemon:trubbish.pnggulpin.pngekans.pngpoochyena.pngwoobat.pngnoibat.pngkoffing.png

Old Rod:grimer.pngqwilfish.png

Wh- Smooth, Venam. This is basically the equivalent of bringing your crush on a first date to the local garbage dump. Unsurprisingly, Ren has no qualms being in this place.

What I’m more concerned about though, is the fact that there is a fucking restaurant here. Simply stepping in this place makes me lose my appetite, how can anyone eat looking at that freaking- is that even water? This place is (literally and figuratively) the shitter.

Rant aside, Ren gives some background on this place. Now your job is to find Melia, and unfortunately, Ren is going to accompany us. (…)

Despite him trudging annoyingly behind you (or ‘being Ren’ in other words), he heals your Pokemon after every battle, making this a good spot to grind up.

First things first, head straight to the left. The upper path leads to the restaurant where you can buy some delicious and perfectly sanitary Chinese Food for 300$. In addition to restoring 50HP, it may probably give your Pokemon food poisoning! A one-of-a-kind deal.

Head to the lower path and continue on. In the little storage alcove in the bottom left, you can find an Antidote. Probably very important if you decide to spend your youth hanging out in a sewer.


Bon appetit, mon-amie.

Head North this time and you’ll run into Venam. She Venam will head into this neat little room, only for the power to give out behind her. Looks like it’s Ren’s job to go reset it, but since he’s extremely unreliable, we’ll have to tag along to babysit him.

Go back to the starting area then head up and right to find a Great Ball. Continue up until you reach another fork. The right area is currently inaccessible so head left instead. This is where the power is being controlled.

Get there and Ren will give you a hint on the order you should reset the switches. You also get to see him being spectacularly stupid in the process. He manages to fail one of the simplest puzzles in the damn game.


“But what does 6 have to do with anything?”

If you’re assuming 6 has anything to do with this puzzle, then I’m not blaming you. Stupidity is infectious. The solution is to click the third switch from the left, then the first one, then the second one.

Ping. RESET SUCCESSFUL. Head back to the door.

You’ll find Melia working on restoring the power. The rest of you chat a bit about leaving rubbish in water for it to evolve into Pokemon or something (My local lake is swarming with filth and I still can’t catch any Trubbish in Pokemon GO, so this is bullshit). Don’t worry, this probably won’t have anything to do with the broken power.

Oh nope- the Garbage Crew are attacking us. Go figure.

With a well-leveled team, this battle shouldn’t be too tough, especially since Ren is such a good meat shield partner meat shield.

After the battle, Melia will tell you how awesome you are (suck it, Ren). She says she’ll meet you at Route 1. Sweet. Ren says he’ll be at Magnolia Library, so he kindly fucks off.

But before we head out to Route 1, we still have some things to be doing at Gearen City.

. . .

Head back into the sewers and go back to the room where you fought the Garbage Crew 5 seconds ago. Here you’ll find the Coin Case the lady in Chrisola Hotel previously flushed down a toilet.



With the Coin Case in hand, you can go gambling! Woooooo.


Event Pokemon:seel.pngespurr.pnghelioptile.png

You can get Seel for 1k coins, Espurr for 4k and Helioptile for 10k. If you want all of them you’re gonna be spending a lot of time here. You can also get TM Flash for 1k coins, TM Hidden Power for 4k and TM Substitute for 7k.

Gamble your heart out, kids. You can find coins scattered around the floor here or you can buy them at the counter at the cheap, cheap price of 1000$ for 50.

Voltorb Switch is the best way to earn coins if you don’t have the luck of one of my friends who has 7 SSRs in F/GO after 4 months of playing. Especially if you use the Despair™ Ultimate Strategy!

Once you’re done wasting your life away in front of a casino machine, another thing you can do in Gearen is head to Magnolia Library and punch Ren in the face.

Sure it costs 300$ to get in, but the physical humiliation you’ll be causing to him is more than worth it.


To the death?



Items: 3x Potion

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

murkrow.pngMurkrow (Lv. 13)

froakie.pngFroakie (Lv. 14)

scraggy.pngScraggy (Lv. 14)

- Not much too say here. Free XP I guess.

- His Pokemon are a bit stronger than they were previously in the sewers, but that shouldn’t be a problem for you.

- Also: Sweet retribution for managing to crit me in the scratch-off at the start of the game, Ren.

After the battle, Ren leaves without a chance for us to finish him off. Acting all surprisingly light-hearted. Ugh.

With those things done, you can finally head on to Route 1 to meet with Melia.

. . .

TASK – Meet Melia at Route 1 and save her from inevitable danger.

Head on over to Gearen Train Station. You’ll meet Tesla here, who’ll buy you your ticket and give you some Potions. Nice lady.

Before you go, talk to the old guy at the left for a short sidequest. He left his grand-daughter at Goldenwood Forest and is too poor to go back and look for her. Gee, this guy sure is responsible.



Head on to the train, we’re going to Goldenwood!



Wild Pokemon:scatterbug.pngspewpa.pngdeerling-autumn.pngpidgey.pngsentret.pngpoochyena.png

Old Rod:finneon.png

Event Pokemon:whismur.png

Oh boy, I love this place. Beautiful.

Especially compared to the damn sewers we were in.

You’ll be accompanying Melia who’ll tell you about these eco-friendly pillars, which double as a healing station and a PC. Sweet.



Main Type: Normal

Role: Rival

Melia, imo, is the true main character of this story. She’s the Rejuv equivalent of Ashe from FF12. And you’re Vaan. Only not as irrelevant. Yeah, I like her.

She has all the traits of a main heroine: noble, smart, kind. All that. Her only con I can think of is her bad taste in friends. Looking at you, Ren.

She also has the power to make all the Pokemon she comes across shiny, which leads me to believe she may be using Replay Codes. But she doesn’t hack in 6 Arceus into her party, which already makes her better than 80% of cheaters.

Before you head into the forest, talk to the fisherman here, he’ll give you an Old Rod. Sweet. On the ledge to the left, there is a Whismur here which’ll battle you if you give it a Gourmet Treat. In the grass, you can find a Super Repel.


I may have accidentally ended its misery the first time I came here.

Once you’re done here in this incredible short Route, head into Goldenwood Forest.



Wild Pokemon here are the exact same as in Route 1. So there.

There’ll be some trainers here, but they shouldn’t give you any problems. Goldenwood Forest is pretty straightforward, just stick to the path. If you’re ever in a pickle, simply double back and use a pillar.

Along the way, you’ll run into a girl stuck on a tree (…) Apparently she’s the granddaughter of the irresponsible grandpa. She’ll run off back to him. So that’s all fine I guess. Continue down the path.


Haow bwout no.

Eventually you’ll reach a crossroad. To the north is Goldenwood Cave. The right is currently inaccessible, head to the left and you’ll find a Potion. Outside Goldenwood Cave is a conveniently-placed nurse and merchant. Once you’re done healing and shopping, head on in.


Wild Pokemon:geodude.pngwoobat.pngnoibat.png

Old Rod:goldeen.png

Inside, you’ll find Melia staring at a wall.

She says how her father keeps sending her to random places like this (Suspicious). But it turns out there was a secret here the whole time.

Enter the newly made hole with her. (I can’t believe I actually typed that.)


Wild Pokemon is the same as Route 1 and Goldenwood Forest. Go figure.

That’s a lot of goldenwood. Here, Melia finds a statue of an Arceus. Talk to her and she’ll tell you what the inscription says.

She then switches the topic to her being the next Normal type gym leader. That’s cool and all, but what does that have to do with the Arceus statue?


Selfie with my bae.

And also Melia.

She challenges you to a duel. Hell yeah!



Items: 2x Potion

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

doduo.pngDoduo (Lv. 11) Random Ability: Fury Attack, Quick Attack, Rage, Peck

eevee.pngEevee (Lv. 12) Random Ability: Take Down, Baby-Doll Eyes, Mud Slap

minccino.pngMincinno (Lv. 12) Random Ability: Knock Off, Baby-Doll Eyes, Aqua Tail, Flail

teddiursa.pngTeddiursa (Lv. 13) Random Ability: Lick, Baby-Doll Eyes, Covet, Feint Attack

togepi.pngTogepi (Lv. 13) Random Ability: Charm, Echoed Voice, Yawn, Metronome

- All her Pokemon are frikkin shiny. Ba-damnit. I wish I had this luck.

- This battle shouldn’t really be too tough if you’ve been leveling around Goldenwood.

- Watch out for her Togepi, it is not a Normal type. Cheater.

- Other than her Doduo and Togepi, she is pretty vulnerable to Fighting type moves. Exploit this if you’re having trouble.

After the battle, both of you bump into an Absol. Uh oh, bad omen. You know how someone always dies in Reborn when one appears? Ba-damnit.

Immediately after that, boom. Explosion. Check it out.

. . .

TASK – Investigate the trouble.

Shadow Pokemon:tympole.pngduskull.png

Leave Goldenwood Cave and watch Melia roundhouse kick a Team Xen grunt halway across the globe. (Team Xen blasting off again~)

You’ll be thrown into a battle with the other Team Xen grunt without a chance to heal. Ba-damnit. Be careful if your Pokemon are worn out from Melia’s battle.

After the battle, talk to Melia and she’ll tell you that these guys are using Shadow Pokemon, which are basically OP versions of their original selves, with Shadow type moves. However, they can’t be leveled up.

Melia gives you a device that allows you to catch Shadow Pokemon and some Great Balls to boot. Sweet. She also joins you, so you no longer need to worry about healing.

The next grunt you meet has a Shadow Tympole, so be sure to catch that.


A dark circular thing with edgy patterns on it isn't exactly the definition of good tbh

The two of you will run into some giant circular thing in the middle of the lake. Uh…

Continue down the path and you’ll run into Team Xen’s resident losers (tbh, all of them are losers) Eli and Sharon. Sharon constantly bashes Eli for his bad English (rude), before turning on you guys.

They’re so easy, that they don’t even deserve a boss box. Once you’re done with that, escape outta there.

Oh crap. Looks like our escape is blocked. Interact with the stone on the right for an Ability Capsule. Looks like there’s nothing left to do but talk to that guy with the weird hair.


You probably don't need this thanks to the magic of soft-resetting.

Meet Zetta, who is not only as incompetent as his fellow Team Xen members, but who also has a weird taste in hairstyles.



Main Type: Dark

Role: Xen Executive

The weakest of the Team Xen executives and also the most incompetent one. Actually now that I think about it, all of them are incompetent, so there’s probably some even worse than Zetta.

He also has a weird hairstyle. Only Final Fantasy protagonists can have hairstyles like that damn it. Zetta also speaks like your typical bad guy. It’s so generic that everything he says just comes out as white noise to me.

He also has some kind of backstory? Whatever, he’s pretty irrelevant.

He goes on to explain Dimensional Rifts, which is the giant ball in the water.

He then summons a giant Gyarados by sacrificing all the souls of the Magikarp in the lake. Brutal. And with that, he attacks you with his own Pokemon instead of the giant demon Gyarados he summoned. Huh.


I have no idea why 'EITHER WAY' is in all caps. Chill, Zetta.



Items: N/A

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

murkrow.pngMurkrow (Lv. 13) Random Ability: Peck, Astonish, Pursuit, Haze

sneasel.pngSneasel (Lv. 14) Random Ability: Bite, Icy Wind, Ice Shard

weezing.pngWeezing (Lv. 14) Random Ability: Tackle, Smog, Smokescreen, Assurance

duskull.pngShadow Duskull (Lv. 13) Random Ability: Shadow Wave

- This battle isn’t that tough either. It’s actually easier than Melia’s battle, so you should be able to take him if you can beat her.

- Watch out for his Sneasel. It’s fast and hits like a truck. A decent Fire type should be able to take it though.

- His Duskull is a Shadow Pokemon so be sure to catch it!

In a last ditch effort to save himself (probably), Zetta gets the Dimensional Rift to absorb you. Instead of, y’know, getting the giant demonic Gyarados to skewer us? Zetta isn’t really bright.

Zetta then sets his sights on Melia. Garbodor appears out of nowhere and the scence cuts.


I... uh... I can't really think of anything witty to say.

You end up in a hellish version of Goldenwood. Uhh. Your goal is to push Magikarp into the water. (…) Don’t ask me, I don’t get it either. All their locations are here in the spoilers:



I love the noises they make when you save them. *punt*



Once you rescue all the Magikarp, Gyarados appears and attacks. Oh boy.



Items: N/A

Field: Dimensional Rift

Format: Singles

gyarados.png Gyarados (Lv. 20 - Holding Demonstone) Intimidate: Rain Dance, Dimensional Thrash, Ice Fang, Fire Fang

- Sprite is frikkin huge wtf

- This thing will most likely kill all your Pokemon in one hit. Luckily, it’s ok to lose this battle.

- There are many ways to cheese this. But winning doesn’t change anything, other than a huge XP reward, so it’s ok.

- Apparently beating this boss gives KarmaPoints™. I have no idea what it does as of now, but you can beat it for some o' dat sweet karma.

After the battle, some sort of Melia apparition will appear. Head back to where you first spawned and talk to her. Bam. And you’re back. Apparently, Garbodor fought off the Gyarados for us, despite us thrashing its Garbage Crew earlier.


I have no idea how she managed to save us. But screw the details.

Melia gets her Togepi to use Alpha Metronome, which teleports us to Gearen Labs. (Why didn’t she just do this earlier?)

Both of you walk in on Prof Jenner speaking to his camgirl. Ooh. Busted. Jenner was working for the bad guys all along. Plot twist~

Melia then decides to blow her cover. Ba-Damnit. We were home free, Melia! You done fucked up.

Melia tries to teleport both of you away, but she only teleported herself since this random lady’s Houndoom, uh, “sniped” it. I shit you not.

Anyway, it turns out the prof sent you to Goldenwood to protect Melia. And now he’s sending you off to Route 2 to protect her again. And then, just as things were about to get juicy, Ren barges his unwelcome ass in.


Ren has the worst everything.

But before Ren gets to open his mouth, a Gothithelle appears and ‘times out’ Jenner. Great, now do the same to Ren. Sadly, she chooses to leave us both alone and warns us against following Melia.

Sadly, I don’t give a shit. Our protagonist tells Ren what happened. He tells us that we must head over to Route 2, but before that, we need the TM for Rock Smash and at least one gym badge.

He decides to ask Venam to battle you, since she’s Melia’s best friend. Well if she really was Melia’s best friend, she would just give us the damn badge without the need for a battle.

Now that we’re back at Gearen City, some of the trainers will fight us with stronger teams, so take note of that.

Before we head on to the gym, return to the old man at the train station, he’ll give you a Smoke Ball for finding his granddaughter

Stock up on supplies and once you’re ready, head on to the Gearen Gym.


Interact with this stone for an Ability Capsule. Glad you clicked on this spoiler, aren'tcha?

The puzzle is to activate every single terminal in this damn place. Seems simple enough. There’s already one in this first room.

You can find one terminal in each of the rooms to the right and to the left. Ez.

Terminal Locations:




Once all three terminals are activated, stand on the teleporter and it will transport you up to the second floor where Venam awaits.

Make sure your team is all healed up and step into the arena…


That's not exactly very healthy. She probably got that from all the sewer food.



Items: 4x Potion (?)

Field: Wasteland

Format: Singles

trubbish.pngTrubbish (Lv. 12 - Holding Oran Berry) Aftermath: Toxic Spikes, Pound, Venam's Kiss, Payback

qwilfish.pngQwilfish (Lv. 13 - Holding Mystic Water) Intimidate: Water Pulse, Fell Stinger, Venoshock, Toxic Spikes

grimer.pngGrimer (Lv. 13 - Holding Poison Gem) Poison Touch: Mud Bomb, Fire Punch, Pain Split, Venam's Kiss

stunky.pngStunky (Lv. 14 - Holding Sitrus Berry) Stench: Flame Burst, Venam's Kiss, Torment, Shadow Claw

whirlipede.pngWhirlipede (Lv. 14 - Holding Eviolite) Poison Point: Venam's Kiss, Venoshock, Bug Bite, Protect

seviper.pngSeviper (Lv. 16 - Holding Sitrus Berry) Shed Skin: Toxic, Swagger, Venoshock, Venam's Kiss

- Your real boss fight. This is not gonna be as easy as the previous battles, this goes without saying.

- As soon as the battle starts, make sure you manage to kill the Trubbish without it setting up Toxic Spikes, otherwise, in addition to field damage, switching Pokemon in will get them poisoned too.

-Speaking of field damage, please try not to use Pokemon that are weak to Poison, simply switching them in may get them killed.

- Venam’s custom move is Venam’s Kiss, a Physical attack which may cause Poison. Nothing too devastating.

- As the Gym Guide says, Woobat helps immensely in this fight. It’s Flying type helps avoid field damage and Toxic Spikes to boot. Coupled with good Psychic move, it can sweep this gym pretty well.

- Her ace, Seviper, hits like a truck. Once she sends it out, end it fast, otherwise, Venoshock spam could be the end of you.

- Geodude is another good Pokemon for Venam, as it gets Magnitude early and can potentially sweep if it gets some Rock Polishes off.

- Shadow Pokemon can't be used against Gym Leaders, so no using Tympole or Duskull against Venam.

- Wingull gets Mist, which could be helpful against Venam, since it changes the Field.

After the battle, she asks you to meet at Amethyst Cave. She says she’s not forcing you to do it, but given that you’re not allowed to continue the story if you don’t, you kinda are.

For the battle, you get the PoisonHeart Badge, which allows you to use Rock Smash and raises the level cap to Lv30. She also wanted to give you a TM, but she kinda left it at her house.

If you leave the gym, the gym guy will tell you that the local gang has the TM for Rock Smash. That means another trip to the sewers. Ugh.

Anyway. Feel free to leave the gym…

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CHAPTER 4 – I Can’t Name Chapters for Shit

Task – Find Melia in Route 2 and save her from inevitable danger.

As soon as you step out of the gym, you’re met with this insane person. Meet Dr Jenkel, who is literally just Terra in a laboratory coat.



He forcibly brings you over this place. Now, I’m pretty sure this is illegal, but what’evs. He shows you this machine that allows you to go back into the past to replay events and anything you get there can be brought back.

Currently, the only event you can redo is the events at Goldenwood. So it’s pretty useful if you want to go back and get Tympole and Duskull.

Anyway, test out the machine and get transported to Goldenwood. Jenkel will tell you that it is a success and will allow you to go back. Now you’re free to either continue with the events or head on back.

Regardless which route you take, you’ll return to Jenkel’s lab. Talk to him and as thanks, he’ll give you a Thunder Stone. Sweet.


Along with the time machine, Jenkel’s lab gives you the ability to purify Shadow Pokemon, unlocking their skills and allowing them to level up.

In order to purify Shadow Pokemon, first you need to empty its Heart Gauge. You can do this by running around in tall grass and murdering random Pokemon. As the Pokemon’s Heart Gauge, goes down, it starts to regain some of its former moves.


I find it weird since a higher Heart Gauge means it's heart is shut tighter? Idk.

Once the Heart Gauge is empty, they can be taken to Jenkel’s to be purified (watch out, this process may fail!) and become a regular Pokemon again. Some might even come with a move they wouldn’t have otherwise learnt (eg. Tympole’s Bounce).

Sadly, this process is a huge time waster and pisses me off. So there. Only purify Pokemon that you’re considering to use.

. . .

Now before we run off to Route 2, there’s a few more bullshit to do here in Gearen. For starters, we need to get the Rock Smash TM.

Before we head off in search of Rock Smash, do note that the Daycare is open now, so if you’re a perfectionist mass breeder, now’s your chance to dump 5 hours into the game whilst not progressing in the story whatsoever!


You'll be talking to this old guy a lot.

Once you’re done with your breeding. (…) Head over to Venam’s house next door. Enter for a short scene with her mother, who gives you the TM for Venom Sweep. Not bad not bad. Now before you leave, head up to Venam’s room and steal borrow her Poison Barb that’s lying on the table.


That’s for the Pecha Berry, asshole.

Now head on over to where the local gang is and speak to their leader, Karrina. She tells you she only gives Rock Smash to members of her gang. Half the population of Aevium must be members of her gang then.

She asks you to meet her at the basement of Chrisola. Head over there.

Karrina’s Pokemon are pretty tough, but if you managed to beat Venam and with a little grinding, this shouldn’t pose much of a problem. I don’t think she warrants a boss box.

After you beat her, she (unconvincingly) claims she wasn’t using her full power. Pfft. I’m the best and you know it. She gives you the TM for Rock Smash and leaves, but not before hinting at some sidequests first. Wink wink.

Now I would rush off to Route 2, but who can resist the temptation of sidequests? Probably everybody.

Head into Karrina’s base and you’ll find it to be some kind of huge monitoring station. I’m pretty sure spying on everyone in the city is pretty illegal, but this is Aevium so who cares.

Talk to Karrina and she tells you they’re going to war with an opposing gang and she asks you to meet her at Amethyst Cave, just past Route 2. We’ll be going there in a sec so that’s that.

With everything in Gearen done, head to the train station to the East of the city and it’ll bring you to Route 2. For a small fee of 300$. (…)

. . .



1 - Train to Gearen City

2 - To Amethyst Cave

3 - Kecleon Shop (...)

Wild Pokemon:




Rock Smash:geodude.pngdwebble.pngshuckle.png

Old Rod:finneon.png



As soon as you disembark the train, talk to the lady on the bench for some free Fresh Water. In an alcove to the right, there’s a Super Potion. Sweet loot.


Some NPCs are cooler than other NPCs


Boop. Double spoiler. You can find a hidden Rose Incense in this bush/rock/thing.

Following the path, this girl will jump you from a tree. Wtf bitch? She even has the courtesy to ask you to watch where you’re going even though she literally jumped off a damn tree and landed on you.

She scurries off just in time for you to find that some money in your wallet is missing. After her!

You’ll find her stuck below a ledge. Disobeying all Pokemon laws of physics, she jumps over it, telling you that you need Rock Smash to get up there. Luckily, you do, so go smash some rocks.

If you don’t, she patiently waits on that ledge until you can teach it to your Bidoof or whatever.


Brb, teaching Rock Smash

OH. Cue music.

Despite this being a chase, the girl literally waits for you so feel free to take your time. At the first fork, don’t bother going to the right, it’s blocked by a Cut tree.

When you meet the girl, she slows you down by getting a rock to land in front of you. (…) Look. If you actually wanted to stop us, you’d have summoned a Cut tree instead. They’re our protagonist’s biggest obstacle atm.


Oh, that's quite an obstacle. Guess I'll just give up then.

Cross the bridge and you’ll see the bane of the protagonist’s existence. A Cut tree. It starts taunting us by singing and running away.


You'll find some headbuttable trees along this path, which can be Headbutted for Pokemon.

Head West and you’ll run into an uh… uh… What? Look. I have zero idea what’s going on right here. Interact with the pole protruding out of the ground (:^)) to heal your Pokemon.



Head to the alcove on the left and you’ll find the demon Cut tree.

Interact with it three (I accidentally wrote tree instead of three kill me) times and it turns into the girl. Who promptly teleports away. If she has the power to teleport, why doesn’t she just teleport into a damn bank vault instead of tackling innocent trainers and taking their wallets?

There’s nothing else to do here, so head on East. You’ll run into the good ol’ Kecleon shop. Buy what you need and leave. Do not attack the Kecleon.


nothing to see here.

Take the path to the East and you can find a shit ton of Aipom running around. Interact with it and you’ll trigger a battle.

Event Pokemon:aipom.png

Take the path North this time. You’ll eventually reach a little rest area, with a nurse to the right and to the left, what I look to call, Audino trainers, there’s one in almost every area before a boss fight and you can fight them repeatedly to grind up.

This Audino trainer is a pretty shitty one though. Maybe it’s because he only has one Audino. Disgrace to the Audino trainer family.

Continue on North to find the girl standing in front of Amethyst Cave. She introduces herself as Nim. She tells you that ‘the jig’s up’ and she was just hiding money behind my ear. (…)

She says she watched you and Venam fight and was interested in your skill. What? If you just wanted to meet me then say so. Didn’t have to come and tackle me from a tree. Ass.



Main Type: Psychic

Role: No idea

Bad first impression, Nim. I don’t like her, but I don’t hate her either. Not as much as the other characters anyways. I have no idea how she fits into the story, she just kinda casually joins our roster of ‘people helping us out’ from outta the blue.

And despite having literally an entire army of ‘people helping us out’, Team Xen is always one step ahead of us. Damnit. The story probably needed a Psychic character to keep the story moving smoothly, so Jan kinda decided to slap Nim onto the ride.

Despite terrible first impressions, Nim becomes kinda relevant later on. Hm, we’ll see.

Oh. And Nim created a pocket dimension for herself. Neat. This is where we’re having the battle, and since she’s a little cheater, the field is obviously favoring her.



Items: N/A

Field: Psychic Field

Format: Doubles

lunatone.pngLunatone (Lv. 18) Random Ability: Rock Slide, Ancient Power, Cosmic Power, Confusion

solrock.pngSolrock (Lv. 20) Random Ability: Rock Slide, Fire Spin, Psywave, Harden

inkay.pngInkay (Lv. 20) Random Ability: Psywave: Feint Attack, Hypnosis, Swagger

espurr.pngEspurr (Lv. 20) Random Ability: Psybeam, Shadow Sneak, Reflect, Light Screen

- This field is a bitch, powering up almost every one of her Psychic moves.

- Luckily for you, her Solrock and Lunatone also have a weakness to Grass, and that can be easily exploitable if you don’t have any Dark or Ghost types.

She gives you a gift for beating her, a TwistedSpoon. Huh. Guess she wasn’t so bad after all. Gifts are a way to a woman’s heart.

With that done, she sends you back to Route 2. HYUUUUUUUUUUURGH. Enter, Cave of the Amethysts.

Amethyst Cave

amethyst caves map is HUGE. I'm slowly losing the will to make maps :<

Wild Pokemon:meditite.pnggeodude.pngnatu.pngsandshrew.pngdiglett.pngcarbink.png

Shadow Pokemon:vanillite.pngbonsly.png

Despite being called Amethyst Cave, there are no Pokemon fangame developers in here. Only shiny purple stone. Misleading name much?

Right from the get go, you’ll see Venam duking it out with some irrelevant Xen grunt. So irrelevant in fact, that she can casually have a chat with you mid-battle. Also, the grunt has no Pokemon out so him talking smack to Venam isn’t going to bode well for him I think.


Idk why, but she doesn't sound really pleased at all.

Take the path to the right and fight the Xen grunt on the way. She has a shadow Vanillite, so nab that. Take the ladders down and you come across an evil worse than Team Xen. Ren. Sigh.

Ren says he’ll take the North path, while chasing after a Galvantula, as soon as you have control, you can find Ren stuck in a Galvantula web. Ren managed to fuck this up in literally 3 seconds.


Course you are. Hope the Galvantula eats him or something.

The first Xen grunt on the South path has a shadow Bonsly. You can find a TM for Roar in an alcove to the right after fighting the second Xen grunt.

Head down another set of ladders and you find yourself in a Joltik nest. Complete with a Zetta, who himself looks like a Joltik thanks to his hair.


There's a Moon Stone in this rock. I don't know why I have to explicitly state it in text.

Venam and Ren catch up with you and the three of you confront Zetta. “Where’s Melia?” cry the three of you at the man with the Joltik hair. He throws down a bloody bag with Melia’s name on it, “she dead m8” whispers he.


"she's dead m8"

The three of you then decide to beat the crap out of him. Sadly, someone Ren has to be benched cause Pokemon Essentials does not support triple battles. Seriously. Pick Venam.



Items: N/A

Field: Cave

Format: Singles

sneasel.pngSneasel (Lv. 21) Random Ability: Night Slash, Ice Shard, Pursuit, Slash

croagunk.pngCroagunk (Lv. 22) Random Ability: Feint Attack, Revenge, Swagger, Mud Bomb

absol.pngAbsol (Lv. 20) Random Ability: Feint Attack, Bite, Taunt

quilladin.pngQuilladin (Lv. 23) Random Ability: Mega Drain, Growth, Leech Seed

- I have no idea why he got a Quilladin outta nowhere. Totally doesn't fit with his aesthetic.

- EDIT: I just had an epiphany. That Quilladin totally looks like Zetta's hair. Maybe that's how it fits in.

- His Sneasel is still the most dangerous, although it is less so than over by the lake. Just Rock Smash it or something.

After you beat him, he fucking says “No problemo.” Like he actually won. Useless and cocky. Nice.

Three of you end up in the Dimensional Rift. Interact with the healy rod to heal your Pokemon and move onwards. Your job is to interact with all the Joltik in the area.


I might've put this one paragraph above where it was supposed to go. Whoops. Spoilers.

Once that’s done, a giant ass Galvantula appears out of nowhere. Again, you get to pick who to help you Venam will help you bring this thing down. (In my rush I accidentally picked Ren. Ugh.)



Items: N/A

Field: Dimensional Rift

Formats: Doubles

joltik.pngJoltik (Lv. 22)

joltik.pngJoltik (Lv. 23)

joltik.pngJoltik (Lv. 24)

joltik.pngJoltik (Lv. 25)

galvantula.pngGalvantula (Lv. 27 - Holding Demonstone) Parental Bond: Electroweb, Agility, Bug Bite, Sucker Punch

- This guy comes with an entire posse of Joltik. Take them down quick or they’ll manage to debuff and damage you enough for the final battle to be a problem.

- This thing has Parental Bond. Needless to say, anything it hits that isn’t resistant to its moves are kinda in for it.

- Geodude. Geodude frikkin rapes this thing of its life. If you’re having trouble, Geodude. ‘Nuff said.

- This thing is Fire/Electric, so Ground moves will decimate this thing. Exploit that.

- Status effects are pretty good in this fight, especially Sleep as it comes with a DoT effect thanks to the field.

Aftert he battle, all of you (including Ren sadly) are spit back out into the real world. This lady named Crescent then teleports in and takes Zetta away. Probably to her personal slave dungeon.

Venam then returns to Gearen and Ren says he’s going ‘home’. Hm.

He tells you your next location, Sheridan Village, where another badge awaits us. Oh boy.

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CHAPTER 5 – Sheridan Sunset

I truly can’t name chapters sorry

Task – Make your way to Sheridan Village and get yourself a spanking new badge!

Before leaving, rummage through Melia's bag to find a Room ID. Our protagonist probably did a lot of bad things up to this point. Why don't we add looting the dead to that list?


Our protagonist is a sociopath.

Make sure you heal up at ‘rod protruding from ground’ before leaving the Joltik nest.

Return to the entrance of the cave. The path that was previously blocked by Venam is clear now, so head North. Head down the path and you’ll eventually reach a fork with a hole leading North.

Event Pokemon: houndour.png

However, if you accepted Karrina’s sidequest back in Gearen, you should see a gang war on a platform above.

Instead of going through the hole, continue down the path. Let’s join them, shall we? Talk to Karrina to find out she isn’t battling cause she’s a lazy shit she fell off an edge while battling. Good job, Ms I’m-not-using-my-full-power.


Don't mind me, just passing by.

She’ll ask you to take out the leader. He’s the guy on the bike looking precariously over a waterfall.

For a gang leader, he sure sucks huge ass. Only three level 20+ Pokemon. How did Karrina lose to this loser. He calls for a tactical retreat and for some reason, Karrina’s gang members join him. Karrina thanks you and proceeds to jump off a waterfall. (…)

Anyway, she tells you she has a reward back for you at Gearen, so meet her there (assuming that fall didn’t kill her, considering she is ‘seriously injured’). Head back to Karrina’s Base and talk to her, for your efforts, she rewards you with a Houndour. Nice.

While you're at Gearen, you can go back to Gearen Labs and use Melia's Room ID on one of the terminals. You cna then enter one of her rooms and 'borrow' her EXP Share.


Trespassing was already on our list vices for a long time.

Head back to Amethyst Cave, let’s get back on track.

Head through the hole up North. This section is pretty linear, so I don’t think it’s possible for you to get lost. Eventually you’ll run into some sort of Team Xen meeting.


"but we yo homie, homie"

The guy with the weird hair is acting all edgy and firing all his dudes. Not cool, brotha’. He says that he notices your presence, but he doesn’t want to look at you so if you inevitably spill his secret, he has no idea who to murder.

Continue up. Enter: Sheridan Village.



1 - To Amethyst Cave

2 - Ketta's Place

3 - Sheridan Center

4 - Sheridan Help Center

5 - Move Relearner's House

6 - To Route 3

Wild Pokemon:ledyba.pngmakuhita.pngchingling.pngkricketot.pngpidgeotto.png

Old Rod:goldeen.pngfinneon.png

Event Pokemon:swablu.pngskitty.png

Since my Chubby friend is currently MIA, I got the wild Pokemon info from this cool spreadsheet.

I'm not sure how accurate my information is, so if anyone has the times of the day these Pokemon appear in, or if I made any mistakes, please do let me know in the Discussion Thread!

Right from the get-go, you’ll see an argument between a young girl and an old lady, like in those shows on TV. Time for some exploration!


Meet one of the coolest, most mature and likeable character in the game.

The other one is Aelita.

Talk to the lady inside the second house on the left for a Sweet Heart. In the second house to the right, you’ll find the Move Relearner Lite, who’ll teach your Pokemon moves for a Heart Scale. She tells you that the Move Relearner Pro is on an expedition to Terajuma, so we won’t be getting the full package anytime soon.


My biggest qualm about this place is that you have to walk halfway across the village just to get to the other side.

Head on through the left path and you’ll run into the Sheridan Centre. There’s a guy outside selling basic necessities, so stock up. Inside the Sheridan Centre is a Skitty, interact with it and the woman by the counter will let you take it with you.

On the right path, you’ll run into the Sheridan Help Centre, we’ll be doing the quests here later. By the fighting area, you’ll find the first legit Audino Trainer™. Grind up if you wish.


Don't make me throw my damn Master Ball.

Near the peak of Sheridan are some Swablu. Run into one to engage in a battle.

With everything we can do so far being done, let’s go do the Help Centre quests!

. . .


EDIT: I highly suggest you talk to Keta in his room before doing these sidequests. That's all I want to add.


Rewards: 550$, Water Stone

Remember that memer back in Gearen? Well, he’s here to make a reappearance! Honestly, he’s my most favourite character in the game so far. Meet him at the peak of Sheridan.


Waddup, hipster-hater.

He tells you that there are three possible places for the hidden library to be: underneath Chrisola Hotel, underneath the fountain and underneath Dr Jenkel’s lab. Sadly, this means we have to backtrack all the way to Gearen.

Ugh. Why this guy came all the way to Sheridan to tell us to return to Gearen is a question we’ll probably never answer. This guy is an enigma.

Of course, you can progress the story until you unlock the truck driver, who’ll easily ferry you between Gearen and Sheridan before you return to this sidequest.

Once you’re at Gearen, the closest stop is probably Chrisola Hotel, assuming you came by train. Head there and you’ll run into Karen. Y’know. Karen. The one that brought those bikers from the first Help Request to her slave dungeon? Yeah, that Karen.

It turns out she’s looking for the library too. She agrees to look with you. Huh, she seems nice. She tells you that Chrisola is a no-go and asks you to meet her at Jenkel’s lab.


*a little dove.

Grammar, lady. smh

Once you’re there, she starts flying around for no apparent reason other than to blow Dr Jenkel’s sciency brain out the back of his head. Karen gets really pissed all of a sudden, much to Jenkel’s delight. Karen asks you to meet her by the fountain.

While you’re here, you can go relive the Amthyst Cave event if you missed any of the Shadow Pokemon. Once you’re done, meet Karen by the fountain.


same tbh

She yells some magic words and nothing happens. Apparently, the protagonist starts crying. And a bridge appears. Ok. Follow Karen in.


Yeah that's normal alright.


The Library that Likes Decaf

Wild Pokemon:unown-f.png

Event Pokemon:elgyem.png

At the fork, head to the right for a Rare Candy. Head left. At the fork in the second room, continue heading left and jump down onto the bookshelf.


Jump down here, in case my text instructions weren't clear enough.

Climb onto the bookshelf and walk on it all the way to the south. You’ll find some sort of secret room with a Gardevoir statue. If you come here at night, there’ll be an Elgyem which you can battle in exchange for a Gourmet Treat. There's also a TM for Psych Up in here.


TM location. Elgyem spawns a little to the left.

Return to the main area by hopping down another set of bookshelf stairs. This time, head North at the fork. At the next fork, head up. There’s nothing for you to do at the right for now.

You’ll come into a room with Karen. There’s a Good Rod here, so make sure to grab that. Talk to Karen and with a little bit of hocus pocus, she summons herself a Mega Ring.

She notices you’re pissed cause you didn’t get the Mega Ring first. Looking at this from a realistic standpoint, the protagonist probably doesn’t even know what a Mega Ring is.


Who needs Mega evolutions when you have Z - M O V E S.

Turns out Karen is batshit insane. Go figure. As I started to hate on her, she gives us an Ancient Book, which will allow us to translate Garufa language. So I guess I can’t hate her just yet.

Anyway, with that little ditty done, return to the guy at Sheridan. He’ll ask you for the Ancient Book. If you refuse, obviously you get to keep the book which can be used to obtain Gothita later on, if you accept, then in exchange he’ll give you a Blue Moon Ice Cream.

If you give him the book, note that you can get another one at Sheridan Wetlands later in the game.


Nah. I found this book tho

You can also not talk to the guy until you get the Gothita later on. Then return to Sheridan and give him the book for a Blue Moon Ice Cream. Double rewards ftw.

With that, he leaves for the library and the Help Request is finally complete.


Rewards: 800$, Gourmet Treats

Another help request that requires you to backtrack. Ugh. The thugs have apparently taken the cargo to Ocean Pier, so that’s where we’re heading.

Once you’re there, you should find a thug standing in front of a warehouse. Apparently, shouting at him made him a changed man and he invites you in. Does anything seem suspicious here? Nah.

And boom, you’re ambushed by about 20 guys. On bikes. Luckily for us, Venam somehow knows we’re in trouble and comes to help. Cue double battle.

These guys Pokemon are actually pretty tough if you’ve not been leveling, but you should be able to make do. Once these guys heads are bashed in, they flee, with no repercussion whatsoever. Aevium has shitty law enforcement.

Head back to Sheridan for your reward.


Venam just went full on Jaden.


Rewards: Rare Candy,pancham.png

Enough action-packed help requests for one day, here is a slightly simpler one. You can find our client next to the waterfall near the Help Center.


Route 2 is literally just past a small cave. You can go catch it yourself.

But we are getting paid for this so...

The task is simple. Simply catch an Aipom at Route 2 and bring it to the girl.

She’ll trade it for a Pancham. And that’s it. Pretty simple.


Rewards: 850$, CasteliaCone

With such a shitty name, I don’t think anyone would look at this request.

The client wants you to pick up an item from the Kecleon vendors shop. Seems simple right? Well, if you think it’s simple, then you obviously never played Pokemon Mystery Dungeon.

Head out to the Kecleon shop back at Route 2.

Pick up the item behind Kecleon, and a nearby Team Xen grunt will pick the other. Kecleon then vaporizes the grunt. My god.

Kecleon then tells you that there’ll be consequences for stealing that item. Pick up the Mystery Item. Leave the area and you can either choose to pay the hefty sum of 50k or be vaporized.



Irrelevant Xen Grunt

2016 - 2016

"Screw off."

Unfortunately, I’m too poor so I had to go with the vaporization. You get thrown into a dungeon with a Lv100 Kecleon. Seems legit.

Now there are 2 ways to go about this:

1. Pay the fuck up.

2. Escape the Kecleon Dungeon. (I don’t think this is even possible)

Obviously the first choice is way easier, but may take some time. If you come back here later in the game, you should be able to scrape up what you need to pay for the item.

If you opt for the second choice, then you’re insane. Although please upload a Youtube video of you doing it if you do somehow manage to escape.

Apparently, if you send yourself into the dungeon, the position you end up in depends on the RNG. So if you're lucky, you might end up next to the escape ladder. Therefore this is easily exploitable with the power of Soft Reset. If you bring our client the Mystery Item by escaping the dungeon instead of buying it, he will give you a Blue Moon Ice Cream in addition to his regular rewards.

If soft resetting your thing, an easy cheesy way to beat the Lv100 Kecleons is with a Misdreavus. The Kecleons only use Sucker Punch vs Ghost which can easily be negated with Pain Split/Confuse Ray. Alternatively, you can spam Flash them with Misdreavus and switch to a Pokemon that can Poison it. Just watch out for AncientPower when it runs out of PP for Sucker Punch.

This strat cheese should be enough to get 2 or 3 Kecleons.

Unless if you have more Misdreavus of course. :^)

With Mystery Item in hand, you can find the client waiting for you in front of the Sheridan Help Center. Hand the time over to him and collect your reward.

That 880$ he gives you is freaking nothing compared to the 50k you had to pay Kecleon. Two daylight robberies in one day. Nice.


Rewards: 1600$,spearow.png

Ooh, I do wonder who we’re battling again. Meet our client in front of the Sheridan Lake. Turns out it's that person who destroyed us back at Chrisola Hotel earlier.



The battle is a 6v6 too and she reuses most of her Pokemon from the last battle. She is on par with the second gym leader so you may want to grind up a bit before taking her on, preferably to about level 25.

When you’re done battling her, return to the Help Center and grab your reward.

. . .

Now that all the Help requests are done, we can finally continue with the story.

Ugh, I’m so tired.

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CHAPTER 6 – Sheridan Stuff

Task – Find the gym leader and get yourself a spanking new badge.

Before we get on with the main story, I’d just like to cover one more sidequest that I forgot was too busy to include in the previous part.

Sure, I could’ve edited it in, but where’s the fun in that?

At Sheridan Village, in the third house on the right, there’s a girl who lost her boyfriend.

Protip: If your boyfriend goes missing, get a new boyfriend.


guuuuurl, do I have some news 4 u.

She says he’s hiding out somewhere in Amethyst Cave. Kinky. Where he could he be? Well, here’s a Despair™ approved hint for you: He’s in the room North of where Karrina’s gang fought another gang. You can’t miss it.

Event Pokemon:lunatone.png

You’ll find the boyfriend being cornered by a Lunatone or a Solrock (? Not really too sure ‘bout this one). You’d expect him to cheat on his girlfriend with another woman, instead of y’know, a Pokemon. Shameless.



As punishment, you’re gonna have to make it your slave. (The Pokemon, not the guy)

Also, don’t ask me how many Great Balls I’ve wasted on this thing.

Talk to the boy friend and he’ll run off home. He asks you to meet him there for a reward. Meet him there, and he’ll show you this awesome movie. Directed by Micheal Bay.


Transformers in a nutshell.

His Ditto takes a glance at the movie, changes into Jirachi and teleports away. Damn, what a cheeky Ditto. Better not let it watch your porn collection.

Anyways, the next part of the sidequest involves chasing a stupid Ditto all around Aevium. This sidequests spans for 4 badges. Kill me. I swear to god, once I catch that cheeky shit, I’ll make it my Pokemon breeding slave. (As if everyone else didn’t make Ditto their breeding slave)

. . .

Now onto the main story. Go into Keta’s house at the peak of Sheridan, cause trespassing has become a daily routine for us already, let’s take it a step further and go into his room and- HOOOLY shit he’s the Team Xen guy.



Role: Gym Leader

Main Type: Fighting

This guy is edgy. He is pretty much the Corey equivalent of Rejuvenation. Although Corey was pretty chill, Keta is less chill. Well, for now at least. Very soon, Keta will have an ‘out of body’ experience, if you catch my drift.

He’ll become a completely different, less edgy person after that. He has some good redeeming qualities though, as you will see later on.

Despite that, I still don’t like him. You’ll see.

He shits on you for trying to be the best like no one ever was. But then he retracts his opinions was he realizes that I fight to kill. He agrees to give you the badge once you bring him a Soul Stone from a hidden grotto in Amethyst Cave. Head on out there.


u got dat right boi

Leave the house and one of Venam’s goons will offer to ferry you between towns and now I want to kill myself because I thought he only becomes available after the second badge. So I highly suggest doing the Sheridan help requests NOW, instead of during the previous part.

If you already did them, then you have my condolences.

In order to get to the secret grotto in Amethyst Cave, head to where Amethyst Cave connects to Route 2. Here you should see a weird red stone. Touch it and the secret grotto appears! Not so secret is it now, Keta?


RIP Red Stone. Never forget.


Wild Pokemon:meowth.pngblitzle.pnggirafarig.pngtyrogue.pngdunsparce.pnghappiny.png

Right from the get-go, this spooky ghosty (who sadly, isn’t even half as badass as Shade) will ask you to follow him. Despite how this is most likely a plot from the ghost to drag you into the underworld, follow it regardless.

You’ll run into this giant black area, where the ghost awaits. Uh ok. This is probably where the ghost will offer you to the devils of the underworld.

Turns out the ghost is actually Keta’s emotions and stuff. Uh ok what. Ghost Keta tells you to go battle Real Keta so you can ‘free him from his guilt’ or some mumbo jumbo. Yeah, ok, ghosty, I just came here for my badge. Ghost Keta then gives you the Soul Stone. Sweet. Return to real Keta.


Tell that to my edgy 14-year old cousin.

Show Real Keta the Soul Stone and he’ll ask you to keep it. For what? Who knows. He asks you to meet him at the battle arena. Sweet, time for our second badge.


I need this battle to show me... MY GODDAMN BADGE BB.

Your Pokemon should be around the Lv24 ranges before taking Real Keta on. Once you’re ready, step onto the arena.



Items: Super Potion x2

Field: Forest

Format: Singles

hawlucha.pngHawlucha (Lv. 19 - Holding Black Belt) Mold Breaker: Gale Strike, Brick Break, Aerial Ace, Roost

machoke.pngMachoke (Lv. 20 - Holding Black Belt) Steadfast: Counter, Thunder Punch, Gale Strike, Rock Slide

pignite.pngPignite (Lv. 21 – Holding Sitrus Berry) Thick Fat: Gale Strike, Thunder Punch, Rock Tomb, Flame Charge

medicham.pngMedicham (Lv. 21 - Holding Choice Band) Pure Power: Thunder Punch, Gale Strike, Drain Punch, Detect

gurdurr.pngGurdurr (Lv. 22 - Holding Quick Claw) Sheer Force: Rock Throw, Low Kick, Drain Punch, Gale Strike

lucario.pngLucario (Lv. 23 – Holding Sitrus Berry) Justifie: Ice Punch, Gale Strike, Circle Throw, Detect

- Keta’s signature move, Gale Strike does extra (grass?) damage on this field, but otherwise, it isn’t too bad.

- Gale Strike also has a small chance to raise attack by one stage.

- He has many moves to counter Flying types, but doesn’t have any to counter Psychic types. Besides his Lucario, Psychics can take him no problem.

- If you have a speedy Flying type, you can also get most of his Pokemon before they land a hit on you. Most of them are pretty frail.

- If your Pokemon are around Lv24 (they should be after the Help Requests), this battle should pose no problem to you. This gym leader’s kind of a fart.

After you beat him, he goes full on Komaeda. Saying how you have shown him the light and how he’s going to undo his guilt and whatever. Uhh, ok? I’m not sure how our battle showed him the light, I’m pretty sure I just- HEY. HE RAN OFF WITHOUT GIVING US A BADGE. AFTER HIM!

The Eldest tells us she heard a clunking noise behind the waterfall and they disappeared. Well, it’s obvious where they went! Head behind the waterfall and go up until you enter a cave.

. . .


Task – Find Zeta so I can get my damned badge.

1 - To Sheridan Village
2 - To Carotos Xen Lab
3 - (You need Rock Climb to get here so don't bother)

Wild Pokemon:onix.pngnumel.pngpansear.pngroggenrola.pngnosepass.pngsandshrew.png

Shadow Pokemon:tangela.pngtorkoal.png

Whoa. Ok. A volcano outta nowhere. Aelita tells us that Carotos Mountain isn’t supposed to look like this. I wouldn’t know what it’s supposed to look like, I’ve never been here. Maybe it’s supposed to be like an ice cave or something.

Aelita then teams up with you to find out why this is going on. Personally, I’m more concerned about getting my badge from Keta.



Role: Rival

Main type: Fighting

Now Aelita just kinda forces herself on you, even though the two of you never met before and before you know it, she starts referring to you as a good friend. Can’t blame her. How else are you going to make friends in Aevium?

Honestly, I expected Aelita to be a one-off character and I was pretty surprised since she kinda sticks to you like a leech.

Despite that, she’s a pretty strong-willed and determined person. She’ll try to help you out wherever she cans. All in all, lots of good qualities.

Then she springs a Speed Boost Blaziken on you and all the good qualities she has are now moot.

With Aelita at your side, continue into Carotos Mountain. Right from the get-go, you guys are ambushed by some tentacle thing. Warning lights should be flashing all over the protagonist’s head by now, but still they urge Aelita onwards.

We need that badge from Keta after all.


Vietnam flashbacks.

Continue onwards and you’ll meet Flowey the Flower SEC the Tentacle Rapist. Apparently it’s some kind of sentient security device. Aelita fucks everything up and now, not only do we not have access, we won’t get our complimentary Team Xen pudding. Despicable.


"Howdy, the name's SEC."

SEC then Hulks up. Yeah, whatever. SEC is standing in between me and my badge, so we need it out of our way. Even if that means we have to use FORCE.

It’s a pretty shitty security device, considering it’s only Pokemon is a Shadow Tangela. The true challenge of this battle is trying to catch the Tangela, with the DoT from the field and it’s Hyper Mode draining it’s health quickly. Make sure to save beforehand if you want that Tangela.

SEC utters its final words before dying. I would feel remorse, but it was preventing me from getting my badge. Measures had to be taken.

Use the lift and the two of you will find some Xen grunts complaining about some guy kicking him in the nuts. Aelita then says that the guy has to be Keta, even though any guy would be able to kick a Xen grunt in the nuts.

One of the grunts then ditches the other to fight us 1v2. Does she have a death wish?

Obliterate her and continue South. From here on out, you’ll be randomly attacked by a bunch of hopeless free XP Xen grunts. Go left at the fork and you should run into a sign with a clue on it. Remember the number! Or don’t. Since I’m just gonna tell you the answer anyway.


This grunt is more helpful than Keta is.

Next to this sign is a huge pillar. If you talked to the friendly Xen Grunt on the ledge previously, she tells you these can be Rock Smashed to create a bridge. Rock Smash away!

Rock Smash three times and a bridge of stone will form on the lava, allowing you to cross. Super convenient, if you ignore the fact that repeated Rock Smashing usually causes an entire cave’s roof to cave in. Cross the bridge to get a Fire Stone.


It's like regular rock hopping, only instead of getting wet, you die.

Now, go back and continue towards the left. Eventually you’ll run into a Pokeball with a Red Shard in it. Grab that loot! Climb the stairs and you’ll eventually run into a Super Potion. Nab that too.

Return to the bottom of the stairs and head right this time. You’ll reach another digit sign. Remember this number too.

Now with everything on this floor done, head back to wear you obliterated that Xen grunt and head left. You’ll reach an elevator, use it.


Am I the only one who read this in the elevator lady voice?

At this floor, start by going left at the first fork. It’s a dead end with naught but a pillar. Rock Smash dat shit.

Now head back to the fork and go right this time. When you reach the stairs, continue right, don’t go up the stairs for now. You’ll find the TM for Flame Charge and another pillar guarded by some Xen grunts. Grab the TM, knock out the Xen Grunts and Rock Smash the pillar.

How to Carotos Mountain in three easy steps.

Now head up the stairs. You’ll see another two Xen grunts, get rid of them and Rock Smash the pillar they were guarding. Now head right and you’ll notice that the three pillars you SMASHED had formed a bridge to an elevator. Before using it, head a bit more to the right and you’ll find the sign for the third digit.

Now, head into the elevator. But wait, heeeeeeeerrrreeee’s SEC! Sigh, didn’t we kill you 5 minutes ago? It only has a single Corphish, so it’s even weaker than the Xen grunts positioned around here. With SEC gone, enter the lift.


"Hmmm... You're new to CAROTOS MOUNTAIN, aren'tcha? Golly, you must be so confused."

In this floor, there’s another sign for the fourth digit. Head down the path and go up the stairs to the North. There’s nothing for you towards the South for now.

You’ll run into another elevator with ANOTHER SEC? Didn’t we kill you 5 seconds ago?


"See that critter? That is your POKEMON. The very culmination of this world"

This SEC will let you pass if you give it a password, which are the four digits from the signs conveniently placed all around the mountain. Pretty weird design choice in retrospect.

Anyway, if you’re stupid stupid, the password is:


Give him the password and SEC will ask us to fuck off for killing him one too many times. Life is unfair. Keep talking to SEC and he’ll HULK UP. Sick ‘em.

All it has is a Shadow Torkoal. Make sure to catch it! SEC then proceeds to die. Again. Maybe we should’ve resorted to killing him from the start instead of looking for a stupid password.

Now, before I continue onward, I noticed how bland the text around this part is. So I'm gonna break it up with some BlueText. Sidequest, go get yourself a drink and some snacks. Playing a Pokemon fangame for hours on end is not healthy y'know.

Now enter the elevator and you’ll find yourself in some Xen lair. Aelita heads onwards and randomly presses buttons. She seems like the type of person who’d accidentally click a self destruct button.



Keta then calls out for Aelita. Don’t fall for the bait, Aelita! Zeta’s a B A D G U Y. I know this cuz he didn’t give me my badge.

He then grabs Aelita and runs. Enter Madelis and her posse of gear-riding men. (…)


Thanks to a certain tentacle rapist to be sure.

Madelis demands them to bring you to the cargo hold. Now you’re locked up in here. Grab the Yellow Key that they conveniently left in here. Team Xen is incompetent, as I repeated many times before. At this point, I’m not even sure if they’re actually being incompetent on purpose or…?

Also worth noting is that there is lava right here in this room, which Team Xen left here if you want to kill yourself at any point.


Brittle bones is a symptom of osteoporosis while brittle cells probably means you have a high erythrocyte osmotic fragility.

Which are 2 completely different things, Keta.

Look at the cracking cell wall and Zeta will free you, not before promising to ‘punish’ you for bringing Aelita here. Bitch? She was the one that decided to come with. I just want my fucking badge.

And Zeta asks you to come with him, to end this. Whatever the hell this is.

Look, old man, I just want my badge and I’ll leave you to your Team Xen-y things. Alas, it’s too late, sonofabitch already ran off. After him!

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CHAPTER 7 – Sheridan Showdown

Task – Tear Carotos Mountain a new a-hole.



1 - To Carotos Mountain

Event Pokemon:mime-jr.png

I just noticed that when Keta breaks you out, he doesn’t use his Pokemon to Gale Strike the bars. He Gale Strikes it himself.

Still doesn’t change the fact that he’s a piece of scum that hasn’t given me my badge.

After he breaks you out, follow him out of the storage hold. Meet him at the main room where Madelis and her gear-riding men grabbed you a few minutes ago. Keta tells you that Madelis employs state-of-the-art security.


Spoilers: "The finest security" in Aevium is absolute shit.

By that, he means that you need four keys to open the door, one of which she conveniently left in your prison. Ok.

Keta will be your tag-team partner, which means all your Pokemon get healed. Ok, old man, I’ll forgive you this once.

Enter your first battle and you’ll find that his team is even weaker than Aelita’s. Wtf. You’d think maybe he’d change his team before trying to solo an entire Xen operation. Gym leader material right here ladies and gentlemen.

Now in this main room are four branching paths, which I’m just gonna refer to SW, SE, NW and NE. Straight to the North is a ledge (…) that requires the four keys to open. You know, when you say state-of-the-art security, I expect magnetic doors or laser beams, not a ledge.

Keta could probably let the protagonist step on his shoulders and we’d have bypassed Madelis’ ‘state-of-the-art’ security.

But that’s not how Pokemon games work. Rant aside, start with the SW path (that’s the bottom-left), you’ll run into this weird engine thing inside some lava.


No. What does this button do?

Keta tells you disabling the panel will save Carotos Mountain. Now this isn’t really a choice, cause you have to disable it. Disabling the panel will cause it to dispense the Blue Key. Why was it inside the terminal? We will never know.

SE path this time. You’ll run into Sharon and uh… Eli. What. Talk to Sharon and she’ll give you the Green Key. She tells us that Madelis wants us in anyway. Ooh, spoilers.


Uh, ok.

Before leaving, interact with the terminal at the topleft of the room. Activate the emergency dispenser to rescue the Mime Jr. Talk to it, and you can take it with you.


SHADOWFICATION. It's a thing now.

NW room next. In this room, two scientists will be jerkin’ off in front of a computer or something. Keta threatens them for the key. Sorry, Keta, but you aren’t very threatening. It seems the scientists agree, since they lob their Pokemon at us.

Bash their heads in and they’ll give you the Red Key. Sadly there’s no option to toss them into the lava for their foolhardiness. Anyway, we have all four keys, but no loot!

For some sweet loot, head over to the NE room. Oh no. Telepads. Team Magma lair flashbacks. Let’s cut the crap, everyone hates teleporters. So here’s the order you should take them in: the first one, the second one, the fourth one and then the fourth one again.

Inside the room, you’ll find an Up-Grade. If you’re not planning on using a Porygon, then congratulations! You have wasted your time. Though I’d still recommend you grab it, since this Xen Lab is no longer revisitable. Uh oh spoilers.

Now head back into the main hall and stick your keys into those keyholes (:^)). The stairs will lower. Sweet. Now head on in.

Here, you’ll find a recovery component and a PC. Prepare your A-Team and head on in.


Oh look, a healing machine and a PC. There definitely will not be a boss coming up!

. . .

You’ll find yourself in some kind of throne room. Keta and you charge forward to face Madelis. Keta threatens her to release Aelita. Sadly, for Keta, he isn’t very threatening. Though, I somehow find Madelis even less threatening.



Role: Xen Executive

Main Type: Not sure yet

Madelis is an idiot. Like all the other Xen Executives really. She’s all bark and no bite. Again, like all the other Xen Executives.

She kinda claims that everything she did here in Carotos was all according to plan, but honestly, it would’ve been way easier to off Keta, Aelita and you separately instead of acting all incompetent to bait us here.

So in the end, she was still incompetent. I’d even go as far as to say she’s the most incompetent Xen Executive. Moreso than Zetta. You’ll see she fucks up all the time later on.

I’m also pretty sure she has no friends.

Madelis then drops the “Keta is your dad!” bomb on Aelita, which for some reason surprises the protagonist. Camera pans to Mewtwo stuck inside a SHADOWFICATION™ machine. Madelis Threat stat kinda increased by a few points there. But only a few.


Murder is totally beyond the guy who agrees to blow up his entire village.

She lobs the Mewtwo at us, but not before admiring the green hue around its body. Bad touch. She also disables our snag machine, so we won’t be able to catch her Mewtwo. Well, even if she didn’t disable it, I probably won’t be able to catch it with a few Great Balls and a lot of E-Rank Luck.

Boom cue battle.




Field: N/A

Format: Singles

mewtwo.pngShadow Mewtwo (Lv.25) Unnerve: Shadow Bolt, Shadow Fire, Shadow Chill,

- What. Lv. 25. Wtf. C’mon Madelis, you can do the better than that. At least make me try and cheese you.

- I take that back, this bitch is frikkin nails.

- Keta doesn’t help out in this battle (douche), but we probably don’t need his help anyway

- This thing’s Shadow attacks are the equivalent of having a pen stabbed into your ear. Your Pokemon probably won’t be able to survive a single attack, so use your moves wisely.

- Status effects (especially Poison) can make Mewtwo a lot easier to deal with. The DoT from Poison combined with its Hyper Mode DoT can take it down pretty quickly.

- If worse comes to worse, you could always cheese this battle with any of the cheese strats around the forum.

- Fairy types are a good counter for Shadow type Pokemon (eg. this piece of shit Mewtwo). Dedenne can be especially effective with Nuzzle and Parabolic Charge.

After the battle, somehow, Mewtwo and Madelis are still alive. Keta then runs into the Mewtwo and tells us to head into the generator room in the back.

Since Madelis is an idiot and didn’t bring any Pokemon with her, she can’t do anything to stop us except watch as her Mewtwo gets tackled by an old man.

For some reason, I don’t think we’ll be getting our badge from Keta. For some reason, I can’t find a reason to insult him for it either. Salute to you, Keta. Honorable person.

. . .

Use the recovery component to heal here. Trust me, you’ll need to.

Talk to Aelita to get the ball rolling. Turns out the generator is a Volcanion. Wow. Where did Team Xen get all these legendaries. They probably hacked into my ORAS trainer’s Pokebank.

Madelis comes in and tells us all about her diabolical plans to burn down Sheridan village. Luckily, for us, the local Fighting type gym leader put a wrench in her plans. Why does this sound so familiar?

Aelita jumps down to solo Madelis. Since her Pokemon are stronger, I’m pretty sure she stands a bigger chance than Keta did. Madelis tells us to stop this thing, we’ll have to kill it.

We already killed countless SEC, so a legendary Pokemon shouldn’t be that hard right?

And boom, dimensional rift.

There’s another recovery component here in case you forgot to heal earlier. Interact with all four terminals around this area and walk up the path in the middle to come face-to-face with Volcanion.


S-SHut uP.. M ade Lis.



Items: N/A

Field: Dimensional Rift

Format: Singles

volcanion.pngVolcanion (Lv.23 – Holding Demonstone) Flame Charge, Water Pulse

- This thing is a lot weaker than Madelis’ Mewtwo. It’s slower, less tankier and doesn’t hit as hard.

- Don’t let it stack Flame Charge. When it’s speedy enough, it can cause massive damage with Water Pulse.

- Again, if you’re having trouble with this, you could always resort to cheese tactics. Don’t worry I won’t judge. C:

You kill the Volcanion and guess what? The mountain is set to blow anyway. Damn.

You’ll see that mysterious Crescent woman and her Gothitelle and Shadow Mewtwo pinning Madelis onto a wall (…). Crescent gets her Gothitelle to send you and Aelita away from this place, but not before telling us to not mess with other’s affairs.

Look, Crescent. I didn’t want any of this too, but Keta took my badge so...

You’ll see a cutscene of a bunch of Xen Executives shouting really loudly, especially this one called Geara. For some reason, Madelis walks in a-ok like she wasn’t getting pinned by a Mewtwo a few seconds ago.

Madelis already ‘got rid’ of Keta apparently. And our badge with him. Damn. So that’s it huh. Rest in peace, old man.

MajorCharacterDeathCounter™: 1

Yes this is a thing now. I wanted it to be a regular death counter, but too many irrelevant people die, so I already lost count.

Geara offers his services to dispose of you and Aelita. Cause he’s a child murderer. Then, you teleport in and interrupt the perfectly pleasant meeting. Rude.


Shut up, Geara. Haven't met him for real and I hate him already.

Before Geara has a chance to bash you in the head, you’re gone again.

. . .

Boom. Now you’re back at Sheridan. Apparently, the incident at Carotos happened a week ago. How Madelis managed to get out of that alive is still beyond me.

Aelita had been researching about Shadow Pokemon with the Eldest. Talk to her for some PlotDump™. The Eldest gives you the Time Flute, which allows you to open up the hearts of Pokemon. Sounds gory.

Seriously though, the Time Flute is a one time use item that instantly allows a Shadow Pokemon to be purified, skipping the entire ‘murder wild Pokemon’ phase.

Follow the Eldest into a sacred place that’s been sealed off for decades. In order to open the door sealing the area, apparently all you had to do was tell the door to open the fuck up.


Wild Pokemon:illumise.pngvolbeat.pngbellsprout.pngzigzagoon.pngoddish.pngparas.png


You’ll meet the Eldest in front of some kind of birdhouse. You can purify Pokemon here apparently? Purification Chambers are also now opened in Pokemon Centres. Convenient.

Eldest tells you to head out to Goldenleaf. Apparently, Aelita wants to join us for our journey, but opts to travel alone. Uh, ok. The Eldest tells us that Goldenleaf is actually a communist, xenophobic town.

No worries, if anybody tries to offend me, I’ll bash their head in. #privileges.

Head back to Sheridan Village and you’ll get spooked by Ghost Keta, who asks you to meet him at Amethyst Grotto. Head there.


Whoa, trigger warning.

. . .

TASK – Get your badge. For reals.

At Amethyst Grotto, talk to Ghost Keta. Ghost Keta tells you that even though Real Keta was killed (along with my hopes of getting a badge), his death wasn’t reported yet. This means that his badge is still valid.

Ghost Keta agrees to give you a badge if you can put him to rest with Real Keta. Damn. Ghost Keta is quickly rising through my ranks of favorite Rejuvenation characters.

Cue battle!



Items: Super Potion x2

Field: Holy Field

Format: Singles

primeape.pngPrimeape (Lv.25 - Holding Black Belt) Anger Point: Thunder Punch, Thrash, Cross Chop, Toxic

scrafty.pngScrafty (Lv. 25 – Holding Leftovers) Moxie: High Jump Kick, Sand Attack, Knock Off, Stacking Shot

pangoro.pngPangoro (Lv.26 - Holding Black Belt) Scrappy: Night Slash, Cross Chop, Brick Break, Feint Attack

hitmontop.pngHitmontop (Lv. 26 - Holding Quick Claw) Intimidate: Ice Punch, Counter, Triple Kick, Dig

sawk.pngSawk (Lv. 26 - Holding Black Belt) Mold Breaker: Brick Break, Bulk Up, Reversal, Endure

hawlucha.pngHawlucha (Lv.30 - Holding Black Belt) Mold Breaker: Bounce, Brick Break, Wing Attack, Gale Strike

- Ghost Keta is a lot stronger than Real Keta. Your Pokemon should be near the level cap by this battle.

- Try not to use Physical attackers against his Hitmontop, Intimidate and Counter can effectively shut your attacker down.

- Ghost Keta’s Pangoro and Scrafty are a bane to Psychic types., but other than that, he doesn’t have anything else to deal with Psychics.

- Like Real Keta, he has a lot of punches that can take down Flying types, so Psychic types are still recommended, as long as your bring something that can take out his Pangoro and Scrafty.

- Ghost Keta doesn’t really exploit this field well, so you can turn the tables on him by exploiting this field’s boosts.

After the battle, Ghost Keta gives you the Diamond Punch Badge. This will increase your level cap to Lv. 35. As he fades away, he tells you his final wish: rid the world of Team Xen.

“Otherwise, there’ll be nothing worth living for.”

Ah. My kokoro.

He also leaves behind the TM for Stacking Shot which is basically a weaker Power Up Punch. Protip: It’s absolutely broken on Speed Boost Blaziken.

Next stop, Goldenleaf.

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Task – Go to Goldenleaf and get yourself a spanking new badge.


Try to leave Amethyst Grotto and a loud noise will make you jump off your chair (Just me? Ok… :<). A Keta statue will erect on one of the pillars behind you and a giant ‘1/5’ appears on your screen.

“Oh I know” I hear you saying, “1/5 major characters to die, right-”No. I’m pretty sure more than 5 major characters die. You wish that 5 major characters die. I’ll be hella disappointed if Ren doesn’t end up on one of those pedestals though.

With that done, head back to Sheridan Village. You’ll notice that the guard at the West of the village disappeared, probably to get a donut. Now you’re free to head to Route 3, so what are ya waiting for?




1 - To Corta Forest

2 - To Goldenleaf

Wild Pokemon:butterfree.pngpidgeotto.pngdoduo.pngpansage.pngpansear.pngvenipede.png

Old Rod:finneon.pngwooper.png

Good Rod:finneon.pngquagsire.png

Note that the Golden part of Route 3 has different encounters.

At the gate here, heal up your Pokemon (trust me). Step outside and immediately get Am-aria-bushed, here to remind us of her existence when I oh-so conveniently forgotten about. Cue battle.





Items: 2x Super Potion

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

ninetales.pngNinetales (Lv. 29) Drought: Incinerate, Confuse Ray, Nasty Plot ("Yes, only three moves" - SansTheSkeleton)

ponyta.pngPonyta (Lv. 28) Flame Charge, Solar Beam, Headbutt, Horn Drill

magmar.pngMagmar (Lv. 30) Flame Body: Flame Burst, Thunder Punch, Confuse Ray, Hidden Power (Grass)

braixen.pngBraixen (Lv.31) Flamethrower, Psybeam, Attract, Protect


- Her Pokemon are way higher leveled than Ghost Keta’s and it doesn’t help that they keep crittiNG ME FUCK YOU AMARIA.

- Ninetale’s Drought cooks up a Sunny Day and allows her Fire moves to hit like a fucking truck. Counter this with a Rainy Day if you have one, she has no way to get Sunny Day back up.

- Sunny Day should end before she sends out her Ponyta, otherwise, that Solar Beam is gonna destroy your Water/Rock types.

- Her Pokemon's abilities seem to be random, so if Sunny Day is fucking you up as much as it fucks me up, you could try rerolling for a Flash Fire Ninetales.

- If she had six Pokemon I’d probably be fucked.

After the battle, Amaria gives you the HM for Cut. She then kindly fucks off. Phew. Heal your Pokemon and be on your way. We enter Route 3 for realz now.

If you take a look at the map, it turns out Route 3 is more than meets the eye. Sadly, most of this is inaccessible without Surf.

Continue straight on. See that guy with the fancy hair? Head on over to him and you’ll find that he lusts to dance, so he’s basically a Tierno clone, only cooler cause he has aurora-hair and isn’t fat (no offense to fat people, you guys are cool).



“Go home and take a bath, smelly.” – Tierno Clone 2015.

Tierno clone will run off into distance and all according to VideoGameImpulse™, we should be running after him. However, there’s still a ton of sidequests to do!

. . .


First off, head a bit to the left of where you found the Tierno Clone. You should see a Jirachi prancing about. I’m surprised no evil organizations actually decide to hunt it down when it’s standing there in plain sight.



Come here you lil shit.

The Ditto Jirachi probably realizes this too, as it flees to a much better hiding spot. Before we pursue it, head back to Purity Forest.

When you’re there, go to where the elder is and you should see a flower to the left of her. Step on the tile below it and you’ll find an Ancient Wing. Or instead of following my shitty directions, you can just look at the picture below.



With that done, head back to Route 3 and go North, you should reach Corta Forest, which is filled with some sweet loot. If you have time to spare, I suggest getting a bunch of Oran Berries from the Berry Emporium back at Gearen.

Professor Despair is gonna teach you a lesson in investment in a little while. ( = w = )b




1 - To Route 3


Wild Pokemon:bibarel.pngtranquill.pngweepinbell.pngoddish.pngbudew.pngkricketot.png


From the get go, there’ll be some Cut trees, conveniently placed to ruin your day. Unless of course, if you have Cut. (Thanks, Amaria).

The Cut trees, like Nim all the way back in Route 4, patiently wait for you to teach Cut to your Bidoof or something. Well, it’s not like they have a choice, considering they’re trees.

Now ruthlessly ravage one of the trees and be on your way. If you’re feeling extra cruel, kill the other one as well before it has a chance to grieve for its comrade.

Corta Forest is fairly linear (despite being a forest), so I’ll just put some of the loot you can find on the path here in the spoilers below.



You can find a Luxury Ball here. And in the POkeball above you'll find...



...a Super Potion! Plunder that sweet loot.



Finally, you can find a Star Piece in here.

At the end of this path, you’ll find an extremely out of place statue of a Kingdra. Interact with it and the game says it’s missing a wing. I’m sorry, Rejuv, but seahorses don’t have wings, they have fins. Misleading much?






Anyway, attach the wing and to repay the favor, the statue decides to attack us. Wtf.





Items: N/A

Field: Forest

Format: Singles

kingdra.pngKingdra (Lv. 48) Swift Swim: Rain Dance, Dragon Dance, Thunder, Surf


- As with all solo bosses, this guy can be taken out with any cheese strats around the forums.

- For some reason, Kingdra always uses Surf against Grass Type Pokemon (tfw no coverage) and the damage is further reduced by the field.

- Thanks to this, a good way I found to defeating it is to have a Grass type with Giga Drain or two. It seriously has trouble killing grass types.

Aftert he battle, the statue gives you the “right of passage”. I wonder if the many villagers trapped across this river had the right of passage too.

Now feel free to head across the river, this path leads to a small village. You can heal your Pokemon in the house at the bottom right.



Blue Shard in here.

Most importantly though, you’ll see Jirachi Ditto running around this village and the villagers don’t seem to give a shit. Talk to it and it’ll run away again. Ugh.

Anyways, you see the Miltanks around here? Give them an Oran Berry, and they’ll give you a MooMoo Milk. Repeat for some SWEET PROFIT. Oooh baby.

Next, talk to the guy in the house on the top left for an Item Finder. Which you do not need, cause I’m here. Wink.




Come here you lil shit. (2)


There’s an event Pokemon to be nabbed here, but you’ll need the TM for Flash, which we don’t have, so for now, let’s head on back to Route 3.

. . .


Back at Route 3, follow the path, which is quite linear. So you don’t need me babysitting you right?

You’ll run into a house. This is the Move Deleter’s house, who (wait for it) deletes moves! Pretty useful if you accidentally teach Cut to your Fennekin or something (which I totally did not do).



Abode of the Remover of Techniques.

Along the path you’ll fight an Optimist trainer. Once you beat her, run back and heal, then come back. Trust me. There is definitely no boss fight coming up.

Continue down the path and get ambushed by Tierno Clone, whose B.B.Beats lured himself to you. At this point I’m not sure whether to call the police or the local asylum.




Role: I dunno, but he acts a lot like my irl dad.

Main Type: Bug

Now that I think about it, Rorrim B. might’ve came out before Tierno, so Tierno is actually a Rorrim B. clone.

Similarities: They love to dance, they’re annoying and I don’t like them.

Differences: You gotta admit, Rorrim. B has awesome fashion sense, I mean look at his hair! Meanwhile, Tierno’s hair looks like it could be a Pokemon all on its own. Also Rorrim B. is an old guy who’s probably married but still tries his best to stay hip.

So yea, kinda like my dad.

EDIT: Today I learned that Rorrim B. is actually a Miror B. clone. And not a good one, Miror B. is waaay more badass. I mean, just look at his 'fro.

He then fights you, with little context whatsoever.



You better B.B.B.ack the fuck off.





Items: N/A

Field: N/A

Formats: Singles

yanmega.pngYanmega (Lv. 29) Speed Boost: Ancient Power, Uproar, Supersonic, Pursuit

vivillon-elegant.pngShadow Vivillon (Lv. 30) Shadow Rush, Shadow Mist, Wish, Shadow Hold

accelgor.pngAccelgor (Lv. 30) Me First, Mega Drain, Swift, Agility

wormadam.pngWormadam (Lv. 31) Razor Leaf, Psybeam, Growth, Confusion


- Also did I mention that he has his very own battle theme? Damn.

- Why he has a shadow Pokemon is beyond me. Remember, you can’t catch it cause your ShadoPokemonCatcherThing is broke ass.

- Vivillon's Shadow Hold prevents your Pokemon from switching out. Shadow Mist does nothing reduces evasion by 2 stages.

- His Yanmega may pose a threat if you let it stack AncientPower/Speed Boost. If it uses Uproar and you have a Ghost type though, it’s pretty much doomed.

- Like Amaria, the abilities seem to be random. Try rolling for a Frisk Yanmega is Speed Boost is too much to handle.

- Other than that, Rorrim B. shouldn’t pose much of a threat.

Once you beat him, you’re free to explore this little encampment. There’s all sorts of fun stuff to do here.

The vendor to the right sells Common Candy and Rare Candy (for a surprisingly cheap price). She also has a Satchet which can be used to evolve Spritzy and Funnel Cakes, which are basically Max Revives in delicious cake form.

The store at the north sells Ice Cream (including the Blue Moon Ice Cream) which are amazingly useful healing items at a cheap price. The other lady sells Link Hearts, which can be used to evolve Pokemon that evolve via trading, and Ability Capsules.

At the shop to the left, a boy is kinda pissed that he didn’t get a Phantump Egg (don’t worry kid, I’d be pissed too. High five, fellow Ghost lover). He’ll give you the egg in exhchange for a Phantump Egg.

A Phantump can be caught later in Goldenleaf, which can then be bred for a Phantump egg. So we won’t be getting the Mystery Egg yet.

Head on West, you should run into a Super Potion and a Pokemon Center.

Heal up. Now you can head South straight to Goldenleaf, but there’s still some loot to be plundered!

Head on to the left path, where all the grass is. You’ll find the TM for Pluck. Nab that. Now there’s some treasure for you to find on the ground around here, you’ll wanna use the Item Finder because I’m too damn lazy to screenshot their locations.

Here’s a checklist of what you should be looking for: A Calcium, a Protein, a Sitrus Berry and some Honey.

With that done, we can finally head on to Goldenleaf. Ohhh boy.

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CHAPTER 9 – Sewer Showdown

Task – Go to Goldenleaf and get yourself a spankin’ new badge.


Let’s pretend my hiatus never happened shall we?


Anyway, continuing from my previous part, head South to Goldenleaf!Route3, where the wild grass is replaced with flowers.

And you know what that means right? More encounter lists! Huzzah! But not for me though.






1 - To Regular!Route 3

2 - To Goldenleaf Town


Wild Pokemon: chingling.pngpidgey.pngbutterfree.pngdoduo.pngpansear.pngvenipede.pngslakoth.png

Talk to like the three people on this route and you’ll find that Goldenleaf is a real charming place with friendly and polite citizens. I personally love how they politely ask you to fuck off. Really helps build into the tone and atmosphere of Goldenleaf.

And if you haven’t realized by now, I’m being ironic. These guys are cunts.

Anyway, on the way you’ll come across this weird birdhouse thing. Interact with it from the left and you’ll find a Miracle Seed.




Helpful image if you don’t know which direction left is.


This path is fairly straightforward. Head South and head East to find the entrance to Goldenl- Oh my god.




You have got to be kidding me.


REN. URRRGGGH. One month without updating my guide and literally 2 minutes in and you’re standing right there. Way to ruin my mood.

As if those 3 other guys weren’t bad enough already, Ren comes over and makes everything worse.

Talk to Ren for some exposition on his backstory, not like I give a damn. I just want my badge.

Apparently, Goldenleaf is where Ren grew up in (no surprises there), apparently he left cause he was even more of a dick than the people there. And now he wants to save the people from themselves? Idk, shove off, Ren.

Ren then asks you politely to fuck off, but you ain’t havin none of that. So he fights you. Urrrghhh.






Items: Hyper Potion x2

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

sableye.png Sableye (Lv. 31 – Holding Leftovers) Prankster: Mean Look, Confuse Ray, Shadow Claw, Recover

houndour.png Houndour (Lv. 32 - Holding Charcoal) Flash Fire: Thunder Fang, Incinerate, Feint Attack, Work Up              

scraggy.png Scraggy (Lv. 32 - Black Belt) High Jump Kick, Feint Attack, Smack Down, Headbutt

murkrow.png Murkrow (Lv. 32 – Holding Leftovers) Prankster: Dark Pulse, Thunder Wave, Roost, Tailwind

frogadier.png Frogadier (Lv. 33 - Holding Leftovers) Water Pulse, Smack Down, Round, Gunk Shot


- Hopefully you brought something with a Fairy move as your lead, as Sableye can lock you out from switching with Mean Look.

- Try not to let his Scraggie get a turn in, High Jump Kick hits like a truck and Moxie will only serve to power it up.

- His Murkrow is probably the most threatening of his team. Packing Roost and Leftovers, it’s surprisingly hard to kill (maybe cause I had no super effective moves against it)

- I can’t confirm this, but Murkrow’s only attacking move seems to be Dark Pulse, as it still uses it against my Grass and Bug types.

- I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but when Ren is down to his last mon, he says “Beginners luck quickly runs out” which is what he says every fucking time you fight him. I like to believe it’s intentional to further prove how much of an idiot and an ass Ren is.


After you beat Ren, he closes the gates to Goldenleaf, cause he’s a salty loser.

He claims that you’ll change the way they behave and he can’t allow that cause you’re stealing his glory. Boy, I’d like to change the way you behave. I don’t give a shit about Goldenleaf, Ren, I just want my damn badge.

He flips you off and leaves, but not before telling you what the steel bars weakness is. Cause he’s stupid.

One of the few bad things about Rejuvenation is probably how I don’t have the option to punch Ren in his stupid bitch face.

Anyways, there’s not much you can do here except leave and complain about how much of a stupid fuckface Ren is.

. . .

You can find Venam in the Gearen Sewers. I totally did not spend an hour running around Aevium trying to find her cause I forgot where she is.

You can find her behind the doors that were previously locked the first time you came here.




Right here.



Wild Pokemon: mightyena.pngarbok.pnggrimer.pngkoffing.pngweezing.pngswalot.pngwoobat.pngtrubbish.png

For some reason, Venam and her gang decide to try and open the out-of-place and probably locked door to find that it isn’t locked.

And also they found a giant mansion here in the sewers. Interesting choice of scenery, I must admit.




same tbh


Venam and her gang decide to storm the mansion, which is an idiotic move. Never have I seen anyone storm a mansion with a good outcome.

However, Venam is the only one who can undo Ren’s idiocy, so you’re gonna have to follow her through on this one.



So not even 10 steps into this place and we already got caught and threatened of being punished for trespassing by this weird dude.

Ok, I see where this is going. Game over. Let’s go Venam- Oh wait, no. She just had to argue with the weird guy in the weird armor. We’re done for, boys.




Maybe we should best leave this to the cops, Venam.


The guy introduces himself as Indriad and then decides to tell us, a bunch of random trespassing 15-year olds mind you, about the ‘dual prophecies’.

So apparently, the dual prophecies isn’t an exotic cheese, but 2 prophecies prophesized by an ancient tribe. One of hope and despair.

I don’t see why Indriad has to tell us that, seeing as he’s gonna murder us. See, Venam, we shoulda left when we had the chance.

Indriad sicks his ninja maids on us.

The ninja maids teleport the gang to holding cells (which conveniently has a recovery unit and a PC).




Thanks for the stuff, Indriad! Now I can use my Bidoof to bust myself outta here.


Wander about a bit and a girl who calls herself Marianette tells you she did your challenge and now you’re free.

Uh, ok? Thanks.

Marianette tells you your challenge was the easiest, so she could only save you. Thank god. If she decided to save Lenny or something, we’d probably be Arceus food by now.

Indriad then comes and strikes you a deal, save all your friends and defeat Marianette and you will be free. A surprisingly one-sided deal if you ask me, considering you guys are referring to my guide right now.

Before he leaves, he says how your challenge was actually deemed impossible. If I were to guess, your challenge was probably Lt. Surge's gym puzzle, judging from all the pots.  Seriously, that shit was fucking impossible. (Maybe cause I was playing the Japanese version of Pokemon, but still.)

Before we head out to save your friends though (they can wait), there’s a bit you can do around here.

. . .

Wild Pokemon:happiny.pngdunsparce.pngblitzle.pngzebstrika.pnggirafarig.pngmakuhita.pngwoobat.pngarbok.png

Event Pokemon:gothita.png

If you have the Ancient Book which you should’ve gotten back in the Ancient Library sidequest, interact with the Gardevoir statue on the bottom left, which is the Prophecy of Light. The ninja maid will be so shocked by your genius, she will give you a Gothita. Nice.




Thanks, ninja maid!


Interact with the Absol statue on the right, this will be the Prophecy of Darkness. DeandraTheNewGirl (I kid you not) will then tell you there’s a 5th captive kept behind a bookshelf.

Next to the big-ass hole on the wall is an Audino Maid, who has three level 30 Audino for all your grinding needs.




For a bunch of evil ninja maids, they sure are pretty helpful.


Enter the big-ass hole and you’ll reach the Palace Garden, with some wild Pokemon for you to catch.

Now, interact with the bookcase on the top left, it’ll open. You’ll find this blue-haired chick named Anju. Venam then comes in (even though you haven’t saved her yet) telling you to fuck off. Anju tells you that this ain’t the real Venam.




This is a jailbreak.


Duh, lady. The real Venam’s probably rotting in a cell somewhere.

Then we get a code 91 and the ninja maid who was pretending to be Venam politely asks you to leave, so you do. (…)

Now interact with the bookcase on the top right, you’ll find a ninja miad who will happily sell you some shit. I’d suggest getting some Moomoo Milk for the upcoming battle.

Now that everything down here is done, it’s time to go save your friends!

. . .

Task – Bust your friends out and gtfo.


Head over to the room right of yours for your first challenge.




Uh oh, how are we every gonna finish this trial?


Ooh boy, how scary. A bunch of pillars with lava underneath. Luckily for us, our protagonist is an expert in jumping over small spaces, if their experiences back in Carotos Mountain wasn’t evidence enough.

In case (for some reason) you can’t solve this puzzle, I have (not yet) given you the solution below.

Enter the cell room and find that the first person you saved is… Luca! (…)

She decides to leave immediately and probably fall into the lava pits below.

Next up is the third room. Welcome to the trial of RNG. Otherwise known as Jan’s_Bullshit™. Either you’ll be here for 2 minutes, or you’ll be here for an hour. I bet you can guess how long I was here.

So this challenge is pretty much what it says on the tin. Activate two switches consecutively.

Once you finish that trial (not really much of a trial of luck if you get infinite tries, more like a trial of patience), you get to save… Lenny! (…)

Now onto the last trial.

Welcome to the Trial of Memory, where 6 of rotating Venams will tell you something and you have to determine which is the fake. Correct answer: all of them are fake; the real one is locked in a cell.

But since that is not an answer, guess we’ll have to choose. If you get it wrong, you’ll be thrown into a battle. That said, the phony is the Venam on the bottom left.

Now onto the next room, this time with 6 spinning Rens being idiots in perfect sync.




Nothing fishy here.


Surprisingly, the fake Ren is the one on the bottom right. If you truly valued your friends, maybe try not to lock me out of a badge next time?

In the third and final room, there will be six spinning Aelitas. I’ll be honest, I got this one wrong (twice). I wasn’t paying much attention to Aelita anyway.

The phony is the one on the bottom right. Urrgh.

With that done, we get to save Venam! Arguably the only useful one in the bunch. Now only one last thing to do before we end this for real…

. . .

Enter the big ass door in the middle of the room to get this show on the road.




This big ass door. In case you missed it.


Make sure your team is healed up and enter the arena.

The fateful battle, if you lose, you and your friends will be sacrificed. (I wonder what happens if you do lose though).




Woot woot, I get to live and smash Ren's face in.


At the last minute, Indriad decides to be a massive cunt and slap on an extra condition to the contract, if Marianette loses, she’ll be sacrificed in your stead.






Items: Hyper Potion

Field: Blessed Field

Format: Singles

heliolisk.pngHeliolisk (Lv. 30 – Holding Leftovers) Dry Skin: Hidden Power (Grass), Electroweb, Thunder Wave, Flash

cinccino.pngCincinno (Lv. 31 - Holding Sitrus Berry) Cute Charm: Bullet Seed, Rock Blast, Tail Slap, U-Turn

pyroar.pngPyroar (Lv. 32 - Holding Charcoal) Rivalry: Hidden Power (Psychic), Incinerate, Noble Roar, Snarl

porygon2.pngPorygon2 (Lv. 32 - Holding Silk Scarf) Trace: Tri-Attack, Flash, Psyshock, Shock Wave

chatot.pngChatot (Lv. 33 - Holding Leftovers) Keen Eye: Chatter, Nasty Plot, Roost, Hidden Power (Ground)

slaking.pngSlaking (Lv. 34 – Holding Leftovers) Truant: Earthquake, Night Slash, Multipulse, Retaliate


- For one, the holy field puts Ghost and Dark types at quite the disadvantage, Normal types hit them supereffectively. Fighting types are not affected though so feel free to punch the daylights outta Marianette’s Pokemon.

- Natu is pretty good for this fight as it learns Ominious Wind at Lv20. Ominous Wind changes the firld into a Haunted Field, making Ghost types hit Normal types super effectively.

- Her Pokemon packs Hidden Power which tries to cover their weaknesses so be sure to watch out for that.

- Her Chatot is a bitch. If you ever played Reborn, then you know how much of a bitch Taka’s Chatot was. I suggest packing a speedy Electric-type specifically to deal with this.

- Her Slaking is a powerhouse, Truant makes it useless every other turn though. Use this to your advantage by healing off damage. Setting up status effects on it would be good too.

- If you pack a mon with Protect or Detect, Slaking is pretty much as useful as my school teachers. Which is not very.

- As long as you’re Pokemon are around Lv. 33 and you bring a variety of types, this battle shouldn’t be too hard.


Marianette then tells you that she can’t be sacrificed. Wow, fuck you, Indriad. Trying to make me feel like a child murderer.

Marianette then transcends gravity and tosses you a Normality Badge and all of you fuck off.

. . .

Even though the existence of Indriad, Marianette and the mansion in the sewers is questionable, the validity of your badge isn’t. For some reason, the badge Marianette gives you counts as an actual badge.

Sweet. Turns out this sewer trip wasn’t in vain after all. I feel bad for the people taking the Aevium League though, when the Normal type gym leader is jumping around the space-time continuum.

Luca and Lenny promptly fuck off. Venam finally agrees to help you get rid of the iron bars Ren set up. Fi. Nal. Ly.

Head on over to Route 3 and we can finally continue with our quest.

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CHAPTER 10 – Goldenwood Groove


Please pm me chapter name suggestions

Task – Go to Goldenleaf City and get yourself a spankin’ new badge!

Event Pokemon:muk.png

From where we left off in the previous part, try to leave the sewers and the mansion will turn into…

... a tiny house? I won’t question it. Inside, you’ll find the TM for Façade. I like to assume it’s from Marianette, awarding it to you passive-aggressively a la Ghost Keta.

A Muk will appear next to the storage house at night. Give it a Gourmet Treat and you can catch it.

Anyways, with all that drama done, we can finally go to Goldenwood City and get our revenge on Ren for denying us a badge.

How? By ruining his hopes and dreams of course!

. . .

Meet Venam in front of the gates to Goldenleaf and she’ll melt the gates off for you. thx bb. This action from Venam serves to prove that you’re higher up on her friendship ladder than Ren is, which puts Venam higher up in my favourite character ladder.




Thx bb


Ren is probably that one friend in the group who everyone secretly hates and never invites anywhere. If you don’t have this friend, heads up, it’s you.

She mysteriously mentions a Saki person before leaving. With that obtrusion out of the way, we can finally get into Goldenleaf Town.






1 - To Route 3

2 - Pokemon Center

3 - To Odd Pass

4 - Gym

5 - To Wispy Ruins

6 - To Wispy Path


Wild Pokemon:




Fishing:wooper.pngbasculin.png(Good Rod) 


Right from the get-go, you hear someone getting lynched. They might be the Godfather (sorry, too much Town of Salem) but since you’re the protagonist, it is your sworn duty to protect everyone. But first, let’s explore Goldenleaf!






Before that, talk to the guy in the black clothes. In addition to not being the only person in town who’s not a humongous dumbass, he’ll give you some backstory about how Goldenleaf came to become the home to a population of humongous dumbasses.


Inside the Pokemon Center is a bunch of people who came for their badge who are now trapped inside. This might be because the residents of Goldenleaf are bastards and will sooner shank you then say something polite. That, or maybe it’s cause one of the exits was blocked by a gate left by a certain someone.

Next to the Pokemon Center is a shop and your friendly AudinoTrainer™, feel free to train up there.


To the North of the town is Odd Pass. There’s nothing to do here and I’m pretty sure the wild encounters are the same as in Goldenleaf anyway, so you can safely ignore that for now.

The house underneath the Pokemon Center is Ren’s house, so that can be safely avoided. You can meet his mother there and she’ll tell you how Ren and his sister ran away from home. Must’ve been a relief for her.

To the West is Wispy Path, we’ll be going there soon.


With everything done, it’s time to save that random person from being hanged! Considering I battled the AudinoTrainer™ though, I might already be too late.

Head on to the center of town where you’ll find a bunch of thugs hanging a thief under a Giratina wing. Talk to the grey-haired girl and she’ll battle you.

After you beat her, the victim (or the culprit, since you just rescued a THIEF) decides to BOUNCE. Pissed, the residents of Goldenleaf leave. Cuz they pu$$ies.

After that’s done, head to the gym. You’ll meet this weirdly-dressed lady who is totally-not-this-towns-leader-or-gym-leader. Talk to her and she’ll tell you how she can’t give you the badge since you’re an outsider (Amaria is pretty bad at picking gym leaders).






The lady cuts you deal. Beat the crap out of the trainers in the Pokemon Center and she’ll fight you. Sounds like a deal to me.

Go into the Pokemon Center and you’ll realize you can’t beat the shit out of any of the trainers here. Try to leave and you’ll bump into Aelita. I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect her to turn up here of all places.


As you two are having your reunion, a bunch of Goldenleaf xenophobes walks in asking everyone to leave. Aelita tells them about her Pokerights to be in this town and you promptly beat the crap out of them.


Aelita tells you to complain to the town’s leader, who is in Wispy Tower. Leave the Pokemon Center and you’ll be ambushed by the guys you beat up earlier. Instead of bashing your head in like any sensible xenophobe will, they decide to have a Pokemon battle with you instead.


Hmph. Idiots. (ʃƪ¬¬) *knuckle crack*



Wild Pokemon:pidgeotto.pngmightyena.pngzigzagoon.pnglinoone.pngdrifloon.pngspewpa.png


Event Pokemon:lombre.png

There’s a bunch of trainers on this path, so you can level up a bit here. Once you reach a fork, head South. We’ll work our way up.

In the house is a girl who wants to see an Axew. If you have an Axew (you can get one as a jackpot starter or from the mystery egg), she’ll give you a Dragon Scale.

Leave the house and continue forward. Once you reach a flight of stairs, head up onto the rock thing.




At least she doesn't wanna take the Axew from you.


There’s a Reverse Candy up here. You can also find a Lemonade and a TinyMushroom in the rocks in this area. If you come here during morning, you can find a Lombre by the pond. Give it a Gourmet Treat and it’ll battle you.




Up here.


The gate at the West leads to Goldenwood Forest after the events of Team Xen. There’s some new wild encounters here if you’re interested.



Wild Pokemon:weepinbell.pngbutterfree.pngpidgeotto.pngbeedrill.pngdeerling-autumn.pngpoochyena.pngspewpa.png

Old Rod:finneon.png

Good Rod:basculin.pnggoldeen.png




Gate to Goldenwood. Ignore the ghosts.


There’s nothing for you to do here except get some Pokemon and get items you failed to get the previous visit. Once you’re done, head back onto Wispy Path.

Continue around Wispy Path. Head North and you’ll reach Wispy Tower where you’ll find Narcissa.



The Pokemon here are the same in Wispy Path, so not really much to do here.

Head on to the middle of the tower and you’ll find Narcissa in front of a birdhouse.





Role: Gym Leader

Main Type: Ghost

You know, for someone who rules a town of xenophobes, I was expecting some mean dictator who rules with an iron fist, like Hitler or Stalin or my history teacher.

Turns out though, Narcissa wants the town to chill out as much as you do but she feels as if she doesn’t have to power to do so. Maybe because she isn’t a cruel dictator.

I’ll be honest, Narcissa is one of my favourite characters, fitting the role of a Ghost-type gym leader.

Totally not biased cause she’s a Ghost specialist. No sir.



Talk to Narcissa and she tells you how Goldenleaf Town is already out of her control. She tells you there’s no way you can help though, so our dreams of crushing Ren’s dreams are crushed.




RIP Nebby.

If only he got in the bag.


She tells you to meet her at her gym. Sweet. At least we get a badge for our troubles.

. . .

Head back to Goldenleaf and you’ll see Aelita telling Narcissa her Pokerights to which Narcissa refutes by saying she’s a leader, not a dictator. Damn gurl.

Aelita then suggests you hold an assembly, which Narcissa thinks isn’t a bad idea. Way to go, Aelita! You accomplished in 5 seconds what Ren couldn’t in (probably) 5 years!


Head on to the gym and you’ll find Geara standing on top like a stupid dumbass. He proceeds to choke Aelita and Narcissa instead of you. Cause he’s a dumbass.

He then gets his cover blown by the residents of Goldenleaf, who make you go to jail. Do not collect 200$. As they’re planning what to do with you, Geara (the dumbass he is), mutters about how he’ll use Wispy Tower to get his revenge and is overheard by the thief you rescued earlier.

Tl;dr Geara’s a dumbass.




"I'm not supposed to be spotted" - Geara while standing on top of a tall building.


At jail, the jailor just sits there and does nothing. Basically he’s begging to be kicked in the nuts by your savior.

The thief you rescued earlier, Mosely, then pops in and proceeds to kick the jailor in the nuts. No Pokemon battles or all that bullcrap. Straight to the point.

She rescues you and tells you to go to Wispy Tower and stop Geara. Sweet.


Leave and she sicks her Pangoro on the residents of this town. Brutal. She asks you to go on ahead to Wispy Tower.

Head on to Wispy Path and proceed to almost get run over by a truck. Who gave those Xen grunts their license? Probably Geara.

Continue onwards and you’ll start encountering Team Xen Grunts. Damnit. Beat em up and continu onwards to Wispy Tower.

Once there, you’ll find that some stairs downwards have popped up. Head on in I guess.









Ooh random Team Xen base outta nowhere. Guess I’ll have to make another complicated map then. *sigh*

Head in and Geara will have the shutters closed on you. Since he’s a dumbass, he tells you how to open them. He leaves just as Mosely comes in to give you a helping hand.


The room to the left has a recovery machine, so feel free to use that if you’re team is getting beat up.

Start by heading right and activating with the terminal. Continue right and you’ll find a Zinc here. Grab that and return to the main room.




That was easy.


Head through the top door on the right. There’s a Super Potion on the ground here. Now feel free to use the teleport panel here and unlock the shutters, Mosely will help you get the other one. Team Xen sure have pretty StateOfTheArt™ security.


Head back to the main room and go through the new path you just unlocked. Feel free to use the Healing Rod sticking out of the ground. Or y’know, the healing machine a few feet back.

Enter the door and Mosely will get juked hard by Eli and Sharon and they’ll challenge you to a battle. Be careful as Eli and Sharon’s baby pants have come off and they will actually pose a challenge this time.




That was a closet?


Totally did not forget to do a boss box on them.

Beat them and they’ll decide to help Mosely out. They probably think Geara is a dumbass too.

. . .

Enter the room and you’ll find the elevator. It’ll take you to the basement. There’s a recovery unit here, I suggest you use it.

Enter the main room and you’ll find (ugh) Geara.




Role: Xen Executive

Main Type: Ghost

I hate Geara. He’s a dumbass, if I hadn’t made that clear already. Then again, most Team Xen members are. But there’s a bigger reason why I hate him.

If you notice carefully, every single Ghost Type specialist in Pokemon are badass.

Not Geara though. He’s a dumbass. How dare he sully the name of Ghost type trainers with his idiocy!

If he was a charismatic villain, I’d still be able to like him. But nope.

Just a dumbass. /rant


He shows you what he was hiding under Wispy Tower the entire time. A Giratina! Geara decides to give us a little backstory. Hopefully he’d hurry up so I can bash his head in.




no u


Once he’s done talking, he sets the Giratina on you. Prepare for a double battle!





Items: Max Potion

Field: N/A

Format: Doubles

haunter.pngHaunter (Lv. 36) Levitate: Sludge Bomb, Shadow Ball, Taunt, Destiny Bond

drifblim.pngDrifblim (Lv. 36) Unburden: Acrobatics, Will-O-Wisp, Substitute, Destiny Bond

giratina-origin.pngGiratina (Lv. 35) Levitate: Slash, Aura Sphere, Shadow Ball, Air Cutter

doublade.pngDoublade (Lv. 37) No Guard: Retaliate, Slash, Iron Defense, Night Slash

- His starting two are pretty weak. I suggest taking out either Drifblim or Haunter, and leaving the other while you whale on his Giratina and Doublade.

- As soon as he sends out his Giratina, focus all your attacks on it. With a bunch of supereffective attacks, it goes down surprisingly quick.

- I actually found this battle easier than Eli and Sharon’s. This just further proves how much of a dumbass Geara is.



After the battle, Narcissa proceeds to scold Geara like the baby he is. In a fit of rage, he gets his Giratina to shred her Dusclops (a Ghost type mind you). Unsurprisingly, it does nothing and Geara gets his ass handed to him.

Narcissa then proceeds to banish Geara to the Shadow Realm.

With all that drama out of the way, Narcissa brings you back to her house. She chats a bit with Mosely before she leaves. Now you guys can finally have your gym battle!


On the next issue of a Horrendously_Written_Guide: Jan’s Bullshit™ aka the Ghost gym! See ya next time.

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CHAPTER 11 – Haunted House

Task – Get through Jan’s Spooky House of Bullshit


This is probably my least creative chapter name to date. I deserve an award for that.

Once you’re done doing whatever it is you’re doing, head to the Pokemon Center and heal up. Next stop, Goldenleaf Gym!
Head to the gym and you’ll be interrupted by Aelita. She then proceeds to challenge you to a Pokemon Battle. I forgot to heal my Pokemon the first time I did this and proceeded to get my ass whooped.






Items: Hyper Potion x2

Field: N/A

Format: Singles

scraggy.pngScraggy (Lv. 37) Brick Break

hawlucha.pngHawlucha (Lv. 38) Mold Breaker: Knock Off, Aerial Ace, Gale Strike

mienfoo.pngMienfoo (Lv. 38) Drain Punch

gallade.pngGallade (Lv. 38 – Holding Leftovers) Justified: Night Slash

blaziken.pngBlaziken (Lv. 39) Speed Boost: Thunder Punch


- Her Pokemon are pretty high-leveled, so make sure you train up at the AudinoTrainer™.

- She has a lot of threats on her team. Hawlucha and Gallade can easily leave a dent on your team if you’re not careful. And let’s not get started on Blaziken.

- Speed Boost Blaziken. (…)

- Make sure you’re prepared to take on her Blaziken. It has Thunder Punch to take care of pesky Flying and Water types.

- That doesn’t mean you can’t use them though, if they can get a hit in before it stacks up Speed Boost you can manage to take it out.


After the battle, Aelita will wait for you to finish your battle so you guys can continue your adventure to Akuwa Town. (Since when did this become ‘our’ adventure?)
With that battle done, head back to the Pokemon Center and heal up your Pokemon. Once you’re done, feel free to head into the Goldenleaf Gym.



Wild Pokemon: raticate.pngyamask.pngduskull.png


Welcome to Goldenleaf Gym. Otherwise known as Jan’s House of Bullshit. For your own sanity, I suggest you not do this puzzle without guidance from me or Youtube.
I suggest watching this helpful guide by acegamestv (You the real MVP). He can guide you through this better than I ever can.



Even Youtube knew what I was looking for before it even came out.

But if you wanna read my guide anyway, then… well, I’m not stopping you!


With Repels at the ready, let’s jump right into this.

From the get-go, you’ll notice that the two staircases on the side are blocked. With nowhere left to go, we’ll enter the room in the middle.

You’ll find nothing in this room, so leave as soon as you go in. However you’ll notice that the books blocking the left staircase has disappeared. Head on there.



Head in here.

Fight the trainer and continue up the path. More boxes prevent you from advancing, so head into the room above.
In this room, you’ll have to loop around, causing some boxes to disappear. You’ll find a Chandelure in front of a picture ominously disappearing.



Loop around.

When it does disappear, loop back to the right of the room and the boxes blocking the doorway should have disappeared.
You’ll have access to the area in the middle now. Now your first action would be to take the door in the middle of the room. That would be wrong and you have to start over again.
Instead, take the door on the left again. You’ll be back at the beginning of this spoopy house, but fret not. Head back into the middle room. You’ll find that a new path has opened.


Enter the path and head all the way to the door on the bottom right. Enter it.

Before you do, you’ll get jumpscared. The ghost then smacks you on the head. Just like any sensible xenophobe would. Now you’ll be back at the beginning again. Head back into the center room. Déjà vu.



Not the last jumpscare in this game, mind you.

You’ll find that the layout of the room has changed once again whoopee.
Head all the way to the left and exit through there.


You’ll find that the boxes on the left staircase have disappeared once again. Head up there and go into the room North of the fountain.







Also, it is under my legal obligation as a guide writer to inform you that the gym can be cleared by simply following the lighted torches on the walls.

But you probably wouldn’t have figured that out on your own, right? Or maybe I’m just salty cause I legit spent an hour trying to figure this out on my own.

With that done, interact with the Healing Rod™ and prepare to battle Narcissa. Ooh boy.

But before you get to battle, Ren interrupts saying that he might manage to beat Narcissa this time. How we managed to get ahead of him even though he had about a 10 hour head start beats me. He probably got stuck in Jan’s Spooky House of Bullshit while we were busy fighting Giratina.



Seeing Ren throwing a temper tantrum is oddly satisfying.

Narcissa then laughs at Ren cause you managed to do in 10 minutes what he couldn’t in 10 years. Canonically, the protagonist laughs along.







Items: Hyper Potion

Field: Haunted Field

Format: Singles

drifblim.pngDrifblim (Lv. 34) Aftermath: Ghostly Wail

rotom.pngRotom (Lv. 36 – Holding Leftovers) Levitate: Ghostly Wail

spiritomb.pngSpiritomb (Lv. 37 – Holding Leftovers) Pressure: Hypnosis, Dream Eater, Spite

chandelure.pngChandelure (Lv. 37 – Holding Sitrus Berry) Flame Burst, Energy Ball, Ghostly Wail

mismagius.pngMismagius (Lv. 40) Levitate: Ghostly Wail

gengar.pngGengar (Lv. 33) Levitate: Ghostly Wail


- The Haunted Field severely lowers the power of Dark type attacks and boosting that of Ghost types (and Flame Burst, cause fuck you).

- Dark types still resist Ghost moves though, so they’re not entirely out of the equation.

- The best way to go about this is fight fire with fire (or ghost with ghost). A speedy Ghost type can easily take out most of her mons.

- Be careful about using a Blessed field, as Ghostly Wail can change it back into a Haunted Field. Her Spiritomb doesn’t have it though so feel free to set that up on it.

- Shadow Sneak is an amazing move. Use it.


With that done, Narcissa gives you the Reaper Badge. So you can make all your enemies die, die die. It also raises your level cap to 45.

Ren then proceeds to throw a hissyfit since he couldn’t beat Narcissa and you can. As if he doesn’t already know I’m superior. Maybe he couldn’t beat Narcissa cause he uses an entire team of Dark types? Haunted Field amirite.

Also he doesn’t have six Pokemon.



BAHAHAHAHA. He's gonna need a Burn Heal for that one.

Ren then shouts how he won’t forgive you like a frikkin six year old.

I mean, let’s be real for a sec guys. No more talking shit about Ren just for jokes right. See, his goal was to change Goldenleaf Town for the better right? Not bad.

But going out of his way to make sure he’s the one that does it? Throwing a temper tantrum when you stole his glory? That’s just sad, man. Like, if your dream was to change something, and someone does it for you, you don’t throw a hissyfit. That’s childish. What matters is that Goldenleaf changed at the end.
Ren wanting to be the one to change Goldenleaf kinda makes me feel like he isn’t actually doing it for Goldenleaf. He just wants the glory of being the one to do it. Selfish attention seeking if I were to put it harshly.

So there, I just wrote a 3 paragraph essay on why I legitimately hate Ren. Now back to regular scheduled programming where I call Ren an idiot for the rest of the game.

Anyway, leave the gym and head over to Narcissa’s house next to the Pokemon Centre.

Talk to Aelita to get the meeting started. The meeting starts with Narcissa causally walking through glass. I like where this is going.



So nobody's gonna ask her how she did that? Nobody? Ok.

The gist of the meeting is that Narcissa tells everyone to change or they can fuck off from Goldenleaf, w After the meeting is done, Narcissa agrees to open the way to Route 4 for you. You know, I was half-expecting Ren to barge in while the meeting was going on and start screaming and throwing chairs.

Ah, maybe in a perfect world.

Leave and you’ll see Geara stuck in the Shadow Realm. He reunites with equally shitty Xen executive Zetta. They exchange some snarky remarks. And then they reunite with not-so-shitty Prof Jenner.

After catching up like friends who awkwardly ran into each other in a shopping centre, they find Nim, legal owner of the Shadow Realm. This does not look good.




With Goldenleaf a changed place, we can rest easy in the fact that we done a good deed today and pissed Ren off at the same time. A win-win! Booyah.

Next stop, Route 4!

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At the start of chapter 3 where you can help the whismur out of his misery, there's also a Pretty Wing in the pot next to it

Although I have no idea what this item does... but I thought I should comment for the sake of all those COMPLETIONIST™ out there :D

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On 5/28/2017 at 4:29 AM, Silesh said:

At the start of chapter 3 where you can help the whismur out of his misery, there's also a Pretty Wing in the pot next to it

Although I have no idea what this item does... but I thought I should comment for the sake of all those COMPLETIONIST™ out there :D


bit late but

Pretty Wing is solely for selling, I don't think any quest as of right now needs one either


8 hours ago, Mardukandvladitor said:

A little update Marionette's Slaking has been replaced with a monster Bewear


a lot of teams have changed after the Gen 7 update in v9, and Despair hasn't been active in a while (come back I miss you :[) so I doubt she'll be updating this guide anytime soon, unfortunately :[


i might be interested in editing/finishing this post-finals but idk if I'll have the time to (haha rip my completionist reborn guide ;[)

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