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This is what happens in...Pokemon Reborn


Commander

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So, your storytelling-style is somewhere between...
- (trying to be) funny
- pointing out flaws while mildly yet sarcastically expressing them like you're (unreasonably carefully) shittalking something for your negativity-breeding teenage audience on your stream that would praise it as flawless if you told them the opposite
- there should be a third point to make it look more sophisticated but in the reply box, the second point reaches over more than one line, so it's point two and three

no subscription, but I'll eat some chocolate and wait for the other parts. ^-^

 

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8 minutes ago, Taska said:

I feel like you made this for shofu...

it's wasted on Shofu, i doubt he would read past the first line before giving up and even if he did read it i doubt he could understand it, i ain't seen much intelligence in him, quite frankly i'm amazed he makes any progress in the game at all, perhaps sheer dumb luck is what carries him.

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33 minutes ago, Lord Drakyle said:

it's wasted on Shofu, i doubt he would read past the first line before giving up and even if he did read it i doubt he could understand it, i ain't seen much intelligence in him, quite frankly i'm amazed he makes any progress in the game at all, perhaps sheer dumb luck is what carries him.

yikes

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19 hours ago, Lord Drakyle said:

it's wasted on Shofu, i doubt he would read past the first line before giving up and even if he did read it i doubt he could understand it, i ain't seen much intelligence in him, quite frankly i'm amazed he makes any progress in the game at all, perhaps sheer dumb luck is what carries him.

Chief this ain't it 

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18 hours ago, Lord Drakyle said:

it's wasted on Shofu, i doubt he would read past the first line before giving up and even if he did read it i doubt he could understand it, i ain't seen much intelligence in him, quite frankly i'm amazed he makes any progress in the game at all, perhaps sheer dumb luck is what carries him.

To even have the great Pikachu Sage even acknowledge a lowly scrub's presence as myself would be of the highest honor.

 

Now thank you for waiting while I re-energize myself using Cherry 7-Up and Doritos.

 

Episode II: There's More Cracks Here than an Episode of South Park

 

So when leaving the gym you bump into the mobile roadblock. She tells you where to not go, but considering that jack*ss Fern is going that way you decide to ignore her and go away. Victoria is a terrible roadblock who can't even do her job properly. We finally make it to Obsidia Ward or for most people: that one place with a bunch of holes and vines. Like how does anyone ever even remember the name of these places? For now, we shall just call it Whole City. Whole City is where you pretty much do everything including buying all your items. Too bad everything is blocked off by f*cking trees. And because of one single tree, you have to go down south, walk all the way around the ghetto, fight a weird gang of Scrafty, and then have to go South even more because...reasons. Trees are the real villains of the story making you do work.

 

Down in Coral Ward or because of what all those sailor are on is also known as Doobie Docks, not much happens. You sacrifice a Ultra Potion for a Skitty. Poor kid doesn't realize he just got gypped. There's this annoying blind girl who asks you questions and makes you feel like a f*cking idiot for not knowing how many buildings are in a city. You meet Amaria, a woman who won't have any relevance for a long time, and Cain again who rescues a Popplio which falls in love with him. It's weird, we fight, and then we're back to Whole City. You meet Florinia who was holding the HM Cut and being the worthless machine she is, just watched you run all the way around like a jack*ss just to get to her. By the time we got to her, I could've been the Kanto champ three times. So now being her f*ckboi we have to use the HM she gave us to clear away the trees since she was completely unable and then just charges ahead to get captured. Water girl is also there but nobody cares about her. You also meet ZEL, a guy with more issues than Charlie Baileygate, who is standing in front a Tangrowth straight out of an R.L. Stine book. After defeating that Pokemon...if you can call it that, all the f*cking trees are gone and you saved Whole City.

 

Next you go North to Onyx Ward, but most of you remember it as School City. School City is where Florinia's gym is and after all the sh*t she made you do because of her incompetence, you just want that badge and to get out. Unfortunately, a certain jack*ss decides to lock you out and now you have to do the one thing any college student dreads: going back to high school. After venturing through books which are pretty much just Bulbapedia articles and typical random trainer fights, you'll come across a puzzle which is guessing a bunch of questions. If you don't feel like wasting more time than you have to, you probably used Bulbapedia to skip past it because f*ck reading. You see Fern and beat his little ass before you can face his sister. He says he'll get stronger and beat the league before you do as he runs away like the little pussy he is.

 

Normally a piece of trash like grass trainer like Florinia would be a joke, but this game hate you. The only available ice type requires it to be a sunny day so you can buy a chocolate ice cream so you can shove it up Jimmy's ass to get him out of the way of the ice cream vending machine to get a shitty Ice type which is worthless. For fire types it requires it to be rainy or fight a bloody overleveled Klinklang which probably will beat your ass. There's Pidove, but nobody likes Pidove. That pretty much leaves you with just Swalot. Oh wait, you need a Pokesnak and if you gave it away then good luck finding another one as vendors only appear on clear days. You could catch a Spearrow or Makuhita and level them up, but grinding in this game is about as fun as trying to revive a party member in Dragon Quest. At least you have Kricketune. Unless you said no and now it's gone forever.

 

So what makes Florinia hard? Two things: first is a Ferroseed with a special little thing we call seeds. While Field Effects crank the difficulty up to an 11, this takes it to a whole new level. What do they do? Basically, they make your life more miserable. On this field effect, they make an already tanky Pokemon even tankier giving it a +1 def and sp def boost so good luck killing it seeing the above. And the other thing? It's a Cradily, an incredibly weak Pokemon nobody ever talks about. Well since your Pokemon are in their 20s, this thing is a behemoth. Good luck doing damage while sand is up and this thing is spamming stockpile. Even better it has recover just when your about to finish it off. You already knew that though as this is something that still haunts your nightmares after attempt and attempt of losing to it. Once you finally take the damn thing down, you earn a badge, but she sends you off to finish up her work in Jasper Ward.

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On 10/2/2018 at 3:07 PM, Commander said:

Or you could just pick Torchic if you're a pussy. If you were a real man, you'd pick the weakest starter of all: Chikorita.

It's so true though, Chikorita is terrible

(Does it count if I picked Torchic with Blaze instead of Speed Boost)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dude, I did a run with Chikorita as my starter at some point and that thing is actually good. Synthesis is some heat. Who needs Super Potions when you can just spam this early game healing move? And doesn't it learn Nature Power? I remember it being viable in the ice gym for some reason. 

 

Now if you really want some trouble, pick Bulbasaur. That was a pretty unfortunate pick for me. Let's see, what good moves does this get? Take down/Double Edge (recoil), Solar Beam (needs Ninetales to come in first most of the time), Petal Dance (can't switch moves), Petal Blizzard (it's alright as long as its single battle, which so happens to not be the format for a lot of the boss battles). Fuck, this brings back terrible memories. Like great, you get Synthesis basically at the point where you can easily buy good healing items and probably have a solid moveset. The only good thing about this starter is that nothing outspeeds once you get your sun up. Well, I guess you could use Petal Blizzard in doubles with a Sap Sipper mon next to you. If only I knew about that ability back then whoops.

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Combee and Spearow are available, for the second gym, Spearow's not bad choice though you need headbutt, there's Electrike Fire fang or Ice fang you can get, I ended up with nothing but rain for first 1/4 of my latest run so I had Numel. I had Treecko but I can't ever land the multi hit moves so choose not to grab it so Treekco was next to useless, Whismur, Joltik, Klink and Grimer

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