Interviews: Why They Suck, but Don't
Welcome back, Rebornians, for another chapter in Cat Chat Blogs! Today, we'll be discussing interviews and why they suck, but don't. Today I had to complete an interview for a job that involves more in-depth questioning and testing. I hadn't worked in several years, so I was nervous, especially because a job like this will lead into a life-long career if I so choose. Of course anyone would be nervous to interview for an opportunity like this, but as soon as I walked into that room, it was like Niagara Falls in there in terms of emotion, nervousness, and, uh, perspiration.
(Don't move, they can smell your fear)
Interviews suck in general. They ask you all these questions about how you're a people person and that you LOVE customers. We all know that's bullshit because we're just not people persons. None of us are. When we go somewhere and we see a person walking towards us, looking us in the eye, we decide that whatever it is that we're doing isn't worth it in order to avoid contact with other people. We know that they're gonna say something to us, like "hi" or "how are you enjoying the weather?" We know we can't talk to them because we know we will fuck it up in some way like mumbling over yourself, saying the wrong thing, or doing something unaccepted by social society. Then that person will give us a weird look and find any way to escape that conversation because once we're trapped in it, we don't know how to escape. We think that we can do better today, and finally be social with people we don't know, but it's about the same outcome as any other time. We leave feeling confused and worrying on if the conversation was acceptable to society. It wasn't. Probably. This kind of scenario happens during interviews. When I was being asked questions about how I feel towards certain words and what they mean, and incidents/hypotheticals, I just couldn't stop talking. I would go on and on about what I thought confidence meant, "power, feeling good about yourself, positive, taking control, being above, beyond, overly..." and so on until they just told me to stop.
(I say this to myself every morning, afternoon, and evening)
However, interviews are good. They help us feel our best, especially when we get hired. It helps us realize that we really aren't as anti-social as we think we are. We can exchange a polite, short conversation with random people without fucking it up. Most of the time. When interviewers notice how scared we are, shaking like little tiny leafs on a tree that's hanging on to dear life when winter approaches and blabbers on like described above, it shows them that we want this opportunity and that we can be social bugs when it's how we get a paycheck. Sure, they probably laugh at us with their co-workers like, "bwahaha, they were so nervous, I could smell their fear! It was great!" but we would never know because we don't stick around afterwards. We rush home, dying of a panic attack, wondering and hoping we did good on it.
(Every damn day)
Overall, interviews suck, but they're a good thing in the end for both ourselves and for the business. Just think about it this way: the business would never call us if they weren't planning on hiring us. It's just kinda redundant to call someone to offer them a job, have them sit through an entire interview and even gives you forms to complete the process and turn around and say "you just got PRANKED! Ahahaha!!! Go the fuck home and cry lolololol" Something would have to come up about us that would force them to retract the offer like a failed drug test or some felony we never mentioned on our applications. Companies never want to lose money over applications they know aren't worth it, so rejoice in knowing that we are worth it!
(This is... My face? Huh. Okay. I can deal)
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All images retrieved from Google Images. Damn it Google, I love you.